Bl00dy horses

secretsam

So, nice day today, thought I'd go out on a ride, piling down a fab local hill (Kingston Hill nr Stokenchurch, for those who know it).

Running down towards the bottom, really going like the clappers, and what do I come across? Not one, but two bl00dy horses, one being led by some daft Little Miss Neddie on another.

Living as I do in Bucks, I can honestly say that it never ceases to amaze me how these infernal, selfish toys are treated with such loving respect, yet ordinary folk on bikes - far more numerous - are treated like a nuisance, like they don't belong. People who wouldn't dream of giving even an extra inch to a cyclist will slow to a crawl and almost disappear into the opposite gutter when passing these walking dung-spreaders (don't start me on that...).

And then they'll put one of those prissy little "I slow down for horses" stickers in their car. ME? I'd like a "I chow down on horses" sticker, or - in a more positive vein - how about a "Give cyclists room" or "I slow down for cyclists (and don't give a f*** about horses)" sticker?

I mean, who are these over-privileged people that ride them? I don't know any. They all seem to be women, certainly, and fall into two categories: either a) under 21 girls, all ruddy-faced and buck-toothed or b) 50+ year old Camilla Parker-Bowles clones.

Seriously, Findus had the right idea, put them all in a bl00dy mincer and make some real use out of them. Maybe I should start a campaign on this - call it (say) "Consume Horses in Pies" (CHiPs)?

Any thoughts?

daviesee

Horses can seriously damage a car. Bicycles rarely do. Main reason.

secretsam

daviesee wrote:

Horses can seriously damage a car. Bicycles rarely do. Main reason.

I've heard this one before. I can see the point of it but it makes me weep inside at the sheer selfishness of it - there's a person on both the bike and the horse.

And you can't eat a bike.

bianchimoon

any thoughts...

Yes, but for the sake of your feelings i'll keep them to myself

schofie

I have no problem with anyone on the road, we're all using it for our own reasons. One thing I do always find remarkable is the fact that some people may treat animals more kindly than they do other human beings. I won't try and get into the reasons here!

simonhead

Arond where i live (Epsom, Surrey) we have a third group of riders, they are all female in their 20's and 30's that look damn hot in jodhpurs. Whilst in a beer garden in Esher i did once hear the line from a girl on a neighbouring table "do you know anyone that wants to buy a polo pony", almost pi$$ed myself.

secretsam

simonhead wrote:

Arond where i live (Epsom, Surrey) we have a third group of riders, they are all female in their 20's and 30's that look damn hot in jodhpurs. Whilst in a beer garden in Esher i did once hear the line from a girl on a neighbouring table "do you know anyone that wants to buy a polo pony", almost pi$$ed myself.

I see you and raise you this comment: at my sister's wedding, I was giving her away (my Dad died years ago). Anyway, after at the celebration meal, the Groom's Mum - whom I'd never met before - asked me (first question, mind):

"Do you hunt?"

(This was back in 2000 or so, mind)

declan1

I rather like horses. It's the riders that piss me off.

I was riding with a friend a while ago on a country lane. We spotted a horse up ahead perpendicular to the road and right in the middle of it, not moving. We slowed right down and stopped about 40ft up the road. The rider screamed at us to stop (even though we were already stopped) and started having a go at us. I explained that if we were a car going at 70MPH (as some people do) she would be rather dead at that point.

She continued to tell us off for riding on a road so we told her to f*ck off and carried on...

goonz

I love horses so got nothing against them sorry.

Ouija

SecretSam wrote:

And you can't eat a bike.

You can if it's one of those ridiculous Bamboo bikes (ask a Panda).

ddraver

Seems to have been a common problem recently - viewtopic.php?f=10002&t=12924442

declan1

Ouija wrote:

SecretSam wrote:

And you can't eat a bike.

You can if it's one of those ridiculous Bamboo bikes (ask a Panda).

Or DurianRider.

Lycra-Byka

Nobody really likes a horse, they like the status it gives them.

mamba80

hundreds of horse riders down here and with one or 2 exceptions, they are all nice, slow down, talk to the horse and they chat back and on our ways.
You cant bitch about horses and then wonder why car driver treat us like sxxt !

oh and far more worrying, is the horse boxes that are wider than their landies and can wipe us out with them even knowing!

Pross

I think you'll find horses and their riders were using the roads years before the bike was invented and most of the roads we are using were originally created for their use. No doubt you moan at drivers showing a selfish attitude to cyclists and yet you appear to share similar disdain for another vulnerable group of road users trying to enjoy their hobby in peace. You ride on country roads you are likely to encounter horses, they use their ears to detect approaching hazards so if something comes flying past silently they think they are being attacked. Slow down, pass wide and give a polite warning that you are about to pass. I encounter horses on most rides and have never had a bad experience with them or their riders. Anyway, I'm sure nothing will take away your hypocrisy or prejudice.

rodgers73

simonhead wrote:

...female in their 20's and 30's...look damn hot in jodhpurs....

This is why I always slow down for horses. And chat to the person riding it. I must be the friendliest cyclist most riders have ever met

ballysmate

rodgers73 wrote:

simonhead wrote:

...female in their 20's and 30's...look damn hot in jodhpurs....

This is why I always slow down for horses. And chat to the person riding it. I must be the friendliest cyclist most riders have ever met

You probably come across like Leslie Phillips' slimy brother.
Ding Dong

simonhead

After 20 or so years a bike becomes a clasic, a horse becomes glue

alihisgreat

Kingston hill is a cracking hill to go down, I've been pushing 50mph+ the last few times puts a big grin on my face every time


Horses are annoying though.. more so when I'm on the bike than when I'm driving I find.

neilrobins

If it wasn't for horses I wouldn't get out on my bike as much. Ours keeps daughter and wife quiet at the weekends plus they cost more than bikes to run, excellent opportunities to by cycle kit!

pinno

Horses for courses really. Come up here. There's this blonde thing in jodphurs who rides a horse with her sticky out bum... oh and that rocking movement - she's gorgeous and very polite and always says hello - I don't always respond as I am usually in a deep stupified trance when I 'bump' into her. I always slow right down.
(why is there no dribbling icon?).

bianchimoon

Pross wrote:

I think you'll find horses and their riders were using the roads years before the bike was invented and most of the roads we are using were originally created for their use. No doubt you moan at drivers showing a selfish attitude to cyclists and yet you appear to share similar disdain for another vulnerable group of road users trying to enjoy their hobby in peace. You ride on country roads you are likely to encounter horses, they use their ears to detect approaching hazards so if something comes flying past silently they think they are being attacked. Slow down, pass wide and give a polite warning that you are about to pass. I encounter horses on most rides and have never had a bad experience with them or their riders. Anyway, I'm sure nothing will take away your hypocrisy or prejudice.

Totally agree, attitudes amongst some on here are breathtakingly ignorant. Seems that because a cyclist has to slow down for a horse it's all wrong, and the same people will complain like fek if a car driver 'buzzes' them. You're going past a 'flight' animal that has and does serve mankind incredibly well for thousands of years, show some respect rather than wallow in your own self importance, okay so you've lost a few seconds on your strava ride time, you'll live and no one else cares anyway.

Phil Fouracre

Funny really, such levels of moronic intolerance, can only backfire on the idiots talking it. Are they the same ones who whine and moan about intolerant motorists who don't treat them with respect 'cos I've got a bike' and deserve priority over everyone else. Always makes me think of the quote ' better to be thought stupid, than open your mouth and prove it' What chance have we ever got of being treated equally with morons like this spouting this drivel........

capt_slog

bianchimoon wrote:

Pross wrote:

I think you'll find horses and their riders were using the roads years before the bike was invented and most of the roads we are using were originally created for their use. No doubt you moan at drivers showing a selfish attitude to cyclists and yet you appear to share similar disdain for another vulnerable group of road users trying to enjoy their hobby in peace. You ride on country roads you are likely to encounter horses, they use their ears to detect approaching hazards so if something comes flying past silently they think they are being attacked. Slow down, pass wide and give a polite warning that you are about to pass. I encounter horses on most rides and have never had a bad experience with them or their riders. Anyway, I'm sure nothing will take away your hypocrisy or prejudice.

Totally agree, attitudes amongst some on here are breathtakingly ignorant. Seems that because a cyclist has to slow down for a horse it's all wrong, and the same people will complain like fek if a car driver 'buzzes' them. You're going past a 'flight' animal that has and does serve mankind incredibly well for thousands of years, show some respect rather than wallow in your own self importance, okay so you've lost a few seconds on your strava ride time, you'll live and no one else cares anyway.

And we were walking for many years before we had horses, try it down the middle of a road and see how much support you get from motorists!

However.
As much as I loath the f*cking things with a brain the size of a peanut, and the horses they ride, I do take the point that we can't as cyclists complain too much when we share a common foe.

My gripe with the horse is the complete lack of control that we all have give consideration for. Imagine if you were to bring out a self propelled vehicle with some sort of computer guidance, and you explained to the 'powers that be', that it 's likely to be under control of the driver except when it saw a paper bag blowing along road. At this point, it will eject the driver and carry on for the next two miles completely on its own, with no way of stopping it whilst causing damage and havoc. Do you reckon you'd get clearance for production and putting it on the road?

I was driving along a country lane near me the other day, ageing mum in the passenger seat so I was taking it nice and easy so she could see the scenery. I came up a hill and around a corner (the impression I want to give here is SLOW), and into the next straight 100yds away are two horse riders. The road is quite wide here, but they are coming towards me down the middle of it. The outer one started flapping her arm like she's trying to take off. I realised that she's trying to flag me down, and I was looking past her to see what the problem was; I thought there was something in the road or a serious accident further on. I opened the window and she says to me "She's likely to sit on your bonnet!". Right. So you've just admitted you have absolutely no control over the horse, then why are you on the road?

As usual, it's the actions of the few that cause the majority the problems.

bianchimoon

[/quote]
My gripe with the horse is the complete lack of control that we all have give consideration for. Imagine if you were to bring out a self propelled vehicle with some sort of computer guidance, and you explained to the 'powers that be', that it 's likely to be under control of the driver except when it saw a paper bag blowing along road. At this point, it will eject the driver and carry on for the next two miles completely on its own, with no way of stopping it whilst causing damage and havoc. Do you reckon you'd get clearance for production and putting it on the road?
.[/quote]

Capt Slog, working by your logic Humans wouldn't get clearance to go into production.

schofie

I'm pretty sure that the people who have a 'them and us' view of road use carry this into their motor driving and then become the person tail-gating, cutting up, slamming on the brakes to make a point and gesticulating like they're at a rave. A complete lack of self awareness and astounding ability to become exactly what you are criticizing is endemic and completely insane.

Kieran_Burns

rodgers73 wrote:

simonhead wrote:

...female in their 20's and 30's...look damn hot in jodhpurs....

This is why I always slow down for horses. And chat to the person riding it. I must be the friendliest cyclist most riders have ever met

Oh, like this you mean?

simonhead

yup thats the sort of thing i see every day in the summer, though it cant be near me as the road is too well maintained

Giraffoto

If I may add something to the sweeping generalizations here, the problem appears to me to be that the horses are kept as pampered pets for six days and twenty hours of the week, then loaded into a horsebox and driven out to some point in the countryside for a ride - at which point, unsurprisingly, the unfamiliarity of the situation gets to them a bit. There are plenty of places where the horses are used to traffic, people etc., and they just plod along by the road.

So oddly enough, the answer to the problem is . . . more horse riding going on. Hold on, that reminds me of something else . . . .

secretsam

Pross wrote:

Self-riteous twaddle

Meh

secretsam

ALIHISGREAT wrote:

Kingston hill is a cracking hill to go down, I've been pushing 50mph+ the last few times puts a big grin on my face every time


Horses are annoying though.. more so when I'm on the bike than when I'm driving I find.

50+??? I've not had the bottle to go that fast yet

Have you done Kop Hill nr Risborough? That's pretty quick and dead straight, picked up my all-time V-max there. No horses, either