Questions about moving out of London

warreng

Christ, there's a whole seperate thread on OFSTED needed. Ratings can change so quickly it's untrue - a failing school can be turned around quickly and a outstanding can plummet if several key staff leave.

There's loads of other factors too - I wouldn't use OFSTED as your only yardstick

tailwindhome

Has anyone mentioned Grandparents/family support yet?

jedster

DDD,

Just one other thought for you.
As a general rule, the commuting thing doesnt work very well if you are BOTH commuting. Idealy you want one of you to live close to work (or work from home). Two reasons - logistics for school/nursery pick ups but you have started thinking about this and cost - two rail season tickets takes a chunk out of most people's incomes

DonDaddyD

This whole moving thing has caused nothing but arguments.

Ms DDD has started to look at Bishop's Stortford to be near her friends and family. I am not so keen. It's a Cold War at the moment with little flare ups (and casual cunting) where it gets hot. She's refusing to consider everywhere she doesn't have knowledge of (so nowhere in Surrey or Kent) and I'm not keen on Essex (when I could live in Surrey or Kent).

I need to narrow my net but at the moment, based on what I have seen and read about general schooling in the area I have on my list:
Horley
Salfords
Redhill
Tonbridge
East Grinstead

cyclingprop

What, when did Brixton fall off the list?

rick_chasey

You've got to agree with your wife on what you both[i/] want and what you can and can't tolerate before you look at places.

Without that the rest is moot for now.

asprilla

Go to the Belfry shopping centre in Redhill and then tell me you still want to live there.

I looked at a house there last year; 2500 square feet, huge garden, stunningly well presented and on 200m from the town centre. The downside was that it was only 200m from the town centre.

rolf_f

DonDaddyD wrote:

This whole moving thing has caused nothing but arguments.

Ms DDD has started to look at Bishop's Stortford to be near her friends and family. I am not so keen. It's a Cold War at the moment with little flare ups (and casual *******) where it gets hot. She's refusing to consider everywhere she doesn't have knowledge of (so nowhere in Surrey or Kent) and I'm not keen on Essex (when I could live in Surrey or Kent).

Bishops Stortford is OK. I grew up in Horrible Harlow not far away and know the area well. It is fine cycling country - North Essex is actually a really nice area and you aren't far from Suffolk as well. Train times into that London are pretty quick as well (rather quicker than the same sort of distance seems to take South of London). I wouldn't say Kent and Surrey are, in a general sense, any nicer than Essex. Both have their crap parts and both have very nice parts.
Stortford itself is a little bland but then that will keep the house prices down to only fairly ludicrous levels as opposed to completely ludicrous.

rolf_f

DP....

rjsterry

DonDaddyD wrote:

This whole moving thing has caused nothing but arguments.

Ms DDD has started to look at Bishop's Stortford to be near her friends and family. I am not so keen. It's a Cold War at the moment with little flare ups (and casual *******) where it gets hot. She's refusing to consider everywhere she doesn't have knowledge of (so nowhere in Surrey or Kent) and I'm not keen on Essex (when I could live in Surrey or Kent).

I need to narrow my net but at the moment, based on what I have seen and read about general schooling in the area I have on my list:
Horley
Salfords
Redhill
Tonbridge
East Grinstead

Horley is RIGHT next to Gatwick: good for transport, but maybe a bit noisy. Dunno about Salfords, Redhill or East Grinstead, but Tonbridge is nice - my cousin used to live there and I was impressed when we visited. It's got a castle in the middle of it, which can't be bad.

sketchley

@DDD I share your pain.

When I first met Mrs Sketchley she lived in Tottenham. After proposing I sold my house in Rochester and move in to her flat while we house hunted. I really didn't enjoy lifei n Tottenham. I don't like the big city. We had may arguments including, not being on the tube, not being near shops, not being able to buy a pint of milk at 3am (like she's ever done that since), not being cut off from friends etc etc. Eventually we settled on Worcester Park, but only after she worked out that her route to work on scooter would go through Richmond Park and she could see deer all the time. Suggest you stop talking about places and go out and visiting some places together, her suggestions and yours.

I'd love to move further out to the country but it isn't going to happen, previous debates about moving show we are complete opposits, she want if anything to be nearer the centre, I want to be further out. All immaterial now as Mrs Sketchley is now a driving instructor and has built a business around Worcester Park so doesn't want to move.

rjsterry

Sketchley wrote:

@DDD I share your pain.

When I first met Mrs Sketchley she lived in Tottenham. After proposing I sold my house in Rochester and move in to her flat while we house hunted. I really didn't enjoy lifei n Tottenham. I don't like the big city. We had may arguments including, not being on the tube, not being near shops, not being able to buy a pint of milk at 3am (like she's ever done that since), not being cut off from friends etc etc. Eventually we settled on Worcester Park, but only after she worked out that her route to work on scooter would go through Richmond Park and she could see deer all the time. Suggest you stop talking about places and go out and visiting some places together, her suggestions and yours.

I'd love to move further out to the country but it isn't going to happen, previous debates about moving show we are complete opposits, she want if anything to be nearer the centre, I want to be further out. All immaterial now as Mrs Sketchley is now a driving instructor and has built a business around Worcester Park so doesn't want to move.

This. You'd be surprised how wrong your preconceptions of a place can be.

DonDaddyD

Bishop's Stortford: Ms DDD's friends all live around the surrounding area. Her parents would literally be one straight road away. I would be outnumbered.

I like the area, seems cycling aware, alright pubs, and though I'm based in Tooting I move around a lot so I can't say how long I'm going to stay in this job - travel to Central London is alright, decent schooling and diversity is improving.

However, there are very few things that I would enjoy less than the way they live round there. I like my space and my privacy - I like dipping in-and-out of my family and friendship circle of 3 -5 really close mates, I love my two person relationship and I keep my Sundays slow. I like riding a bike because it is something I can do on my own or, when I choose to, as a group.

There was a guy on a comic book forum who said of his girlfriend's friends "Her friends are undoubtedly not my friends" - This I recall being in response to his girlfriend's need (and that of all women) to force him to go out to every single social event they have with their friends (the exception being 'girls night'). Why do women do this? Many parties I've been to where there is literally a room full of silent men miserable because they've been forced to go out: "You know Kelly, this is her boyfriend ED. He likes - insert the one thing the two of you have an marginal interest in - go talk". Then you're left in the uncomfortable situation to talk to this guy you've just met about something you've only got a passing interest in.

I imagine having her friends (3 - 4 of the couples are alright and genuinely my kind of people - but she has 50+ 'friends' and they hang out all the time, I can only take people in small short doses) in my house almost every week, when there wasn't someone round ours we'd be out drinking or at their house for someones party/gathering/get together, my son being looked after by her friends (which would only happen over my cold dismembered decompossed body parts and after my ghost has been exorcised) and then the weekly visits to her parents, siblings, Sunday dinner without rice, BBQs without pre [oven] cooked chicken legs - so you can eat right to the bone and joint family ventures out/day trips... all the f*cking time.

Some of her friends are alright, but - coming from a big family, which respects space, privacy and doesn't live in each others pockets - being all up in each others business, I've never been big on the whole "my friends are my family". Truth is I like being left alone, my privacy is golden and I prefer a situation where I can dip-in and out without people bothering me or constantly insisting that I 'have a drink'.

There it's been said. I am not moving to Essex.

bigmat

Sounds like you should just move to Bishop's Stortford. If she has friends and family nearby that's a big plus, better than being somewhere neither of you know anybody. And if it all goes wrong, at least it'll be her fault!

cyclingprop

DonDaddyD wrote:

There was a guy on a comic book forum

:shock:

sketchley

If she has friends near by, at least she'll have someone to come round and visit while you go to the pub....

essex-commuter

DonDaddyD wrote:

There it's been said. I am not moving to Essex.

Why not, Bishops Stortford is in Hertfordshire. Isn't it?

DonDaddyD

essex-commuter wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

There it's been said. I am not moving to Essex.

Why not, Bishops Stortford is in Hertfordshire. Isn't it?

Up the road from Essex proper.

essex-commuter

How about just outside Bishops Stortford?

Ugley is nice. There is even an Ugley Women's Institute!

DonDaddyD

essex-commuter wrote:

How about just outside Bishops Stortford?

Ugley is nice. There is even an Ugley Women's Institute!

Do you pronounce that Ugly?

essex-commuter

DonDaddyD wrote:

Do you pronounce that Ugly?

Yes, as do the locals! My cycling club is based there.

rjsterry

DonDaddyD wrote:

Bishop's Stortford: Ms DDD's friends all live around the surrounding area. Her parents would literally be one straight road away. I would be outnumbered.

I like the area, seems cycling aware, alright pubs, and though I'm based in Tooting I move around a lot so I can't say how long I'm going to stay in this job - travel to Central London is alright, decent schooling and diversity is improving.

However, there are very few things that I would enjoy less than the way they live round there. I like my space and my privacy - I like dipping in-and-out of my family and friendship circle of 3 -5 really close mates, I love my two person relationship and I keep my Sundays slow. I like riding a bike because it is something I can do on my own or, when I choose to, as a group.

There was a guy on a comic book forum who said of his girlfriend's friends "Her friends are undoubtedly not my friends" - This I recall being in response to his girlfriend's need (and that of all women) to force him to go out to every single social event they have with their friends (the exception being 'girls night'). Why do women do this? Many parties I've been to where there is literally a room full of silent men miserable because they've been forced to go out: "You know Kelly, this is her boyfriend ED. He likes - insert the one thing the two of you have an marginal interest in - go talk". Then you're left in the uncomfortable situation to talk to this guy you've just met about something you've only got a passing interest in.

I imagine having her friends (3 - 4 of the couples are alright and genuinely my kind of people - but she has 50+ 'friends' and they hang out all the time, I can only take people in small short doses) in my house almost every week, when there wasn't someone round ours we'd be out drinking or at their house for someones party/gathering/get together, my son being looked after by her friends (which would only happen over my cold dismembered decompossed body parts and after my ghost has been exorcised) and then the weekly visits to her parents, siblings, Sunday dinner without rice, BBQs without pre [oven] cooked chicken legs - so you can eat right to the bone and joint family ventures out/day trips... all the f*cking time.

Some of her friends are alright, but - coming from a big family, which respects space, privacy and doesn't live in each others pockets - being all up in each others business, I've never been big on the whole "my friends are my family". Truth is I like being left alone, my privacy is golden and I prefer a situation where I can dip-in and out without people bothering me or constantly insisting that I 'have a drink'.

There it's been said. I am not moving to Essex.

Sounds like you just need a shed at the bottom of the garden .

BTW, wasn't access to Hammersmith a non-negotiable? Ms DDD will be spending a lot of time on PT if you move east and she works there. Personally, the idea of family on my doorstep horrifies me, convenient as free childcare would be, so I can understand your unease.

DonDaddyD

rjsterry wrote:

Sounds like you just need a shed at the bottom of the garden .

BTW, wasn't access to Hammersmith a non-negotiable? Ms DDD will be spending a lot of time on PT if you move east and she works there. Personally, the idea of family on my doorstep horrifies me, convenient as free childcare would be, so I can understand your unease.

'Fortress of Awesome' is a prerequisite.

Ms DDD reckons that the travel time is about the same as living somewhere like Horley - the 1hr + mark. However, she currently works 3 days in the office and 2 at home, she recently added an extra day in the office so her workplace are flexible. The real impact of communting is on me and her argument isn't even the above, it's that I've always said that I wouldn't move somewhere based on work alone and the fact that I move jobs frequently so I can't really use 'travel to Tooting' as a defence. Have I ever said she is a lawyer, a good one.

I can't do family on my doorstep and none of my immediate family do this either. Our extended family wouldn't mind but they know we are not that type of people. Come round unannouced and you'll be greated with "can't you call before you come round?" as we open the door.

sketchley

Might I suggest she is testing you? You have suggested places with 1 hour + travel time and she says see doesn't want that and needs easy access to Hammersmith. You persist, then she says how about near my friends and family as that's same travel time as the places you are looking at. She thinks you won't agree to this which in turn rules out all your suggestions that are 1 hour plus as well by default. QED Stalemate. So you'll end staying where you are or no more than 30mins from Hammersmith....

DonDaddyD

Sketchley wrote:

Might I suggest she is testing you? You have suggested places with 1 hour + travel time and she says see doesn't want that and needs easy access to Hammersmith. You persist, then she says how about near my friends and family as that's same travel time as the places you are looking at. She thinks you won't agree to this which in turn rules out all your suggestions that are 1 hour plus as well by default. QED Stalemate. So you'll end staying where you are or no more than 30mins from Hammersmith....

I thought about this and you are correct, right up until 'Stalemate'.

We need to move into a bigger home and cannot afford Wimbledon, no one wins if we remain there.

asprilla

DonDaddyD wrote:

Sketchley wrote:

Might I suggest she is testing you? You have suggested places with 1 hour + travel time and she says see doesn't want that and needs easy access to Hammersmith. You persist, then she says how about near my friends and family as that's same travel time as the places you are looking at. She thinks you won't agree to this which in turn rules out all your suggestions that are 1 hour plus as well by default. QED Stalemate. So you'll end staying where you are or no more than 30mins from Hammersmith....

I thought about this and you are correct, right up until 'Stalemate'.

We need to move into a bigger home and cannot afford Wimbledon, no one wins if we remain there.

"Let's play Global Thermonuclear War"
"How about a nice game of chess?"

Yon need to start playing tic tac toe......

sketchley

"A strange game, the only way to win is not to play"

sketchley

There's a sequel http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WarGames:_The_Dead_Code never knew that!

EKE_38BPM

Sketchley wrote:

There's a sequel http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WarGames:_The_Dead_Code never knew that!

I've just read a load of reviews. It looks awful.




I want to see it.

veronese68

DonDaddyD wrote:

We need to move into a bigger home and cannot afford Wimbledon, no one wins if we remain there.

Where in Wimbledon are you? Wimbledon goes from multi million pound houses to not quite so much within a very short distance. Moving only a few miles might get you something, saying that I last looked for a house in Wimbledon 17 years ago.