Peanut butter: the Devil's diarrhea

Kieran_Burns
Kieran_Burns Posts: 9,757
edited November 2012 in Commuting chat
and olives - the Devil's bum grapes.

My cycling mate mentioned he could make some peanut butter flapjacks for a 100Km ride we're planning. I almost beat him to death with his own leg, but somehow heroically managed to stop myself.

It looks and smells like something that leaks out of an ill babies arse.

Peanut butter is the work of the Devil and any who say otherwise are Satan's children and should be burned, and pelted with olives.

I did warn my mate that we would be cycling out into the country in the middle of Winter and his body could lay undiscovered for weeks, if he brought any of that Satanic slush with him.

Now if you will excuse me, I will be singing Hymns and dousing myself with Holy Water before carrying out an exorcism on my mate who is clearly possessed.
Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
2011 Trek Madone 4.5
2012 Felt F65X
Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter
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Comments

  • SimonAH
    SimonAH Posts: 3,730
    I'm with you on the PB, but olives? Wonderful fruit of heaven - delicious, healthy and more uses than a Transformer with a swiss army knife.
    FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
    CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
    Litespeed L3 for Strava bits

    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
  • byke68
    byke68 Posts: 1,070
    Crunchy peanut butter on toast - yummy yummy yummy!

    Olives - yuk!
    Cannondale Trail 6 - crap brakes!
    Cannondale CAAD8
  • rubertoe
    rubertoe Posts: 3,994
    Olives - Yum.
    Peanut Butter - Yum.
    "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."

    PX Kaffenback 2 = Work Horse
    B-Twin Alur 700 = Sundays and Hills
  • Kieran_Burns
    Kieran_Burns Posts: 9,757
    rubertoe wrote:
    Olives - Yum.
    Peanut Butter - Yum.


    SATAN!!!!!

    Burn him! Burn him with Fire!!!
    Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
    2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
    2011 Trek Madone 4.5
    2012 Felt F65X
    Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter
  • cornerblock
    cornerblock Posts: 3,228
    Kieran_Burns wrote:
    rubertoe wrote:
    Olives - Yum.
    Peanut Butter - Yum.


    SATAY!!!!!

    Burn him! Burn him with Fire!!!


    FTFY.
  • byke68
    byke68 Posts: 1,070
    Kieran_Burns wrote:
    rubertoe wrote:
    Olives - Yum.
    Peanut Butter - Yum.


    SATAN!!!!!

    Burn him! Burn him with Fire!!!


    Satan does not exist but burn him for liking olives...................
    Cannondale Trail 6 - crap brakes!
    Cannondale CAAD8
  • rubertoe
    rubertoe Posts: 3,994
    Kieran_Burns wrote:
    rubertoe wrote:
    Olives - Yum.
    Peanut Butter - Yum.


    SATAN!!!!!

    Burn him! Burn him with Fire!!!

    Now I am actually thinking about olives stuffed with peanut butter!!
    "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."

    PX Kaffenback 2 = Work Horse
    B-Twin Alur 700 = Sundays and Hills
  • Kieran_Burns
    Kieran_Burns Posts: 9,757
    rubertoe wrote:
    Kieran_Burns wrote:
    rubertoe wrote:
    Olives - Yum.
    Peanut Butter - Yum.


    SATAN!!!!!

    Burn him! Burn him with Fire!!!

    Now I am actually thinking about olives stuffed with peanut butter!!

    You're a sick man.
    Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
    2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
    2011 Trek Madone 4.5
    2012 Felt F65X
    Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter
  • Dog Breath
    Dog Breath Posts: 314
    Agreed on peanut butter - vile stuff.

    Olives on the other hand are loverly.

    Can I add celery to the satan's food list please. Utterly horrible. I don't see the point of it. Should be erradicated from the Earth.

    DB
    Planet-X SL Pro Carbon.
    Tifosi CK3 Winter Bike
    Planet X London Road Disc
    Planet X RT80 Elite
  • mudcow007
    mudcow007 Posts: 3,861
    olives are rank durty swines - which should be outlawed

    but smooth PB on toast when your hung over is amazing
    Keeping it classy since '83
  • Applespider
    Applespider Posts: 506
    I love peanut butter - especially with something sweet like chocolate or banana alongside. But it has to be proper peanut butter that's just basically the nuts and some salt rather than the ones with ridiculous amounts of oil and sugar added. My mother has recently started adding peanut butter to her bacon sandwich in the mornings... a step too far?!?!

    Devil's food to me is kidney (devilled or not)... or tripe... thankfully no-one's ever brought them along on a long ride.
  • rjsterry
    rjsterry Posts: 29,336
    Oh KB. I had such high hopes for you.

    I prefer the crunchy Whole Nut stuff, rather than the sweeter varieties, but any nuts will do.

    PB, cheese and ham makes an awesome butty.

    Olives vary so much, so I'm more ambivalent towards them.
    1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
    Pinnacle Monzonite

    Part of the anti-growth coalition
  • SteppenHerring
    SteppenHerring Posts: 720
    Peanut Butter: Meh
    Olives: Yes please

    Cheesecake: I like cake and I like cheese but this is neither and it's stupid and wrong.
  • rjsterry
    rjsterry Posts: 29,336
    SteppenHerring wrote:
    Peanut Butter: Meh
    Olives: Yes please

    Cheesecake: I like cake and I like cheese but this is neither and it's stupid and wrong.

    Which one? Crushed Biscuits + mascarpone or the proper baked one, which is a cake made with cheese.
    1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
    Pinnacle Monzonite

    Part of the anti-growth coalition
  • t4tomo
    t4tomo Posts: 2,643
    Dog Breath wrote:
    Agreed on peanut butter - vile stuff.

    Olives on the other hand are loverly.

    Can I add celery to the satan's food list please. Utterly horrible. I don't see the point of it. Should be erradicated from the Earth.

    DB

    Try cooking celery, its delicious braised but agree its rather insipid raw.

    Peanut butter - I like the flavour, but its too mouth drying on its own - it needs to be on hot buttered toast with jam, marmalade or honey on top of it.

    Olives I love.

    We also need to mention Marmite - fantastic stuff. Ohbefore they start - any Aussies touting the merits of vegemite can f right off straight away....
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  • UndercoverElephant
    UndercoverElephant Posts: 5,796
    The only way I can contemplate eating celery raw is when it's smothered with peanut butter...

    Olives, though, are indeed vile.
    Sun - Rain - Snow
  • mudcow007
    mudcow007 Posts: 3,861
    oh can i add gherkins to the "why do you exist"

    what do they bring to the table??!?
    Keeping it classy since '83
  • SimonAH
    SimonAH Posts: 3,730
    Delicious gerkiness of course!

    Back to celery - you can't make a decent BBQ sauce without celery, but that is it's only saving grace.
    FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
    CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
    Litespeed L3 for Strava bits

    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
  • FoldingJoe
    FoldingJoe Posts: 1,327
    Peanut butter - as long as it is Whole Earth - Crunchy Original.

    For those of you who don't like peanut butter, but have only tried Sunpat, try the above. It may change your mind.

    Olives - nice also.
    Little boy to Obama: "My Dad says that you read all our emails"
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  • rjsterry
    rjsterry Posts: 29,336
    FoldingJoe wrote:
    Peanut butter - as long as it is Whole Earth - Crunchy Original.

    For those of you who don't like peanut butter, but have only tried Sunpat, try the above. It may change your mind.

    Olives - nice also.

    Aha, a fellow connoisseur. Only trouble is, a jar doesn't go very far.
    1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
    Pinnacle Monzonite

    Part of the anti-growth coalition
  • lostboysaint
    lostboysaint Posts: 4,250
    Never have I read a BR thread where the content is so beautifully encapsulated in the title. I'd exalt you if there were such a facility.
    Trail fun - Transition Bandit
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  • SimonAH
    SimonAH Posts: 3,730
    FoldingJoe wrote:
    Peanut butter - as long as it is Whole Earth - Crunchy Original.

    For those of you who don't like peanut butter, but have only tried Sunpat, try the above. It may change your mind.

    Olives - nice also.

    I must admit, I always thought Sunpat was a horrible name - evocative of a dried out cow flop.
    FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
    CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
    Litespeed L3 for Strava bits

    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
  • Kieran_Burns
    Kieran_Burns Posts: 9,757
    SimonAH wrote:
    FoldingJoe wrote:
    Peanut butter - as long as it is Whole Earth - Crunchy Original.

    For those of you who don't like peanut butter, but have only tried Sunpat, try the above. It may change your mind.

    Olives - nice also.

    I must admit, I always thought Sunpat was a horrible name - evocative of a dried out cow flop.

    THAT'S THE POINT!!!!! :evil:
    Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
    2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
    2011 Trek Madone 4.5
    2012 Felt F65X
    Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter
  • Kieran_Burns
    Kieran_Burns Posts: 9,757
    SimonAH wrote:
    Delicious gerkiness of course!

    Back to celery - you can't make a decent BBQ sauce without celery, but that is it's only saving grace.

    Gherkins are the Devil's penis in a jar.
    Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
    2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
    2011 Trek Madone 4.5
    2012 Felt F65X
    Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter
  • mudcow007
    mudcow007 Posts: 3,861
    Kieran_Burns wrote:
    SimonAH wrote:
    Delicious gerkiness of course!

    Back to celery - you can't make a decent BBQ sauce without celery, but that is it's only saving grace.

    Gherkins are the Devil's penis in a jar.


    ohhh so thats why gherkins are salty?
    Keeping it classy since '83
  • Kieran_Burns
    Kieran_Burns Posts: 9,757
    mudcow007 wrote:
    Kieran_Burns wrote:
    SimonAH wrote:
    Delicious gerkiness of course!

    Back to celery - you can't make a decent BBQ sauce without celery, but that is it's only saving grace.

    Gherkins are the Devil's penis in a jar.


    ohhh so thats why gherkins are salty?


    "The Devil went down to Georgia"

    The poor girl never recovered....
    Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
    2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
    2011 Trek Madone 4.5
    2012 Felt F65X
    Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter
  • Big_Paul
    Big_Paul Posts: 277
    I don't like peanut butter sandwiches.

    I don't like Jam sandwhiches.

    Put the peanut butter and jam together in the samdwich and it's bloody lovely! :roll:
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  • dee4life2005
    dee4life2005 Posts: 773
    peanut butter M&M's anyone ... nom nom nom.
    http://app.strava.com/athletes/307297
  • SimonAH
    SimonAH Posts: 3,730
    dee4life2005 wrote:
    peanut butter M&M's anyone ... nom nom nom.

    Let me guess....."Devils pebbledash"?
    FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
    CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
    Litespeed L3 for Strava bits

    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
  • cornerblock
    cornerblock Posts: 3,228
    SimonAH wrote:
    evocative of a dried out cow flop.


    What about a nice olive tapenade then?

    olive_tapenade.jpg

    Mmmmmmm yum yum.

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