List of useless w+nk*rs

pdstsp

+1 for Virgin. A few years ago I waited in all day for an engineer who didn't arrive. Rang Virgin media who told me that an engineer had called but there was no answer. "No he didn't" I replied as i had been in all day working in the room next to the front door. "Yes he did sir we have a report that he knocked repeatedly on your door. He even reported the colour of your front door - it's blue". "No it isn't " I replied, "It's red". "No sir I can assure you your front door is blue". There is no arguing with such w#nkers.

veronese68

Me. Got doored on Friday, broken finger which has pins sticking out of it and a big hole in my arm. The quack told me I'd have to stop w@nking I asked her why and she said because she was trying to examine me.

That last bit may not be true.

DesB3rd

HMRC bashing - yay!

Having dealt with a few months of demands which seemed to be different on each occasion (but never correct) & ever more threatening communications I finally got my closure of account letter! Such an event should be pretty upbeat but the letter communicated no hint of apology or humility, indeed the sense of entitlement was as thick as ever & they weren't subtle in implying "you'll slip up sometime, you whiny f**ker, and we'll be waiting..."

Hoopdriver

pdstsp wrote:

+1 for Virgin. A few years ago I waited in all day for an engineer who didn't arrive. Rang Virgin media who told me that an engineer had called but there was no answer. "No he didn't" I replied as i had been in all day working in the room next to the front door. "Yes he did sir we have a report that he knocked repeatedly on your door. He even reported the colour of your front door - it's blue". "No it isn't " I replied, "It's red". "No sir I can assure you your front door is blue". There is no arguing with such w#nkers.

Many years ago when I wrote for Time Magazine I was awakened at 3:30am by someone calling me from the New York head office. When I grouchily told them it was 3:30 am the woman at the other end of the line snootily assured me it most certainly was not 3:30am in Sydney (where I was) She knew as fact at it was 7am. We batted this around for a while but she wouldn't have it, and made it quite plain that being in head office she knew far more than I. So I leaned into the punch and told her in sudden, breathless excited tones that I had a splendid breaking news story: the sun had failed to rise in the eastern hemisphere. She got angry then and hung up. I went back to bed.

byke68

People on more money than me who, when I inform them of a query from a delivery, reply back with "I don't understand what you are telling me. What is it you want me to do?" For fecks sake, I've just typed it out in the fecking e-mail! Oh, and when they do reply, they type my name wrong! Doh! :x

alihisgreat

ethanhayes wrote:

My university halls of residence maintenance team.

Mine are really good..

cleaners come in and find something wrong.. inform maintenance.. then I get back from lectures after lunch and a problem I didn't even know existed is fixed!

CanalRider

London Midland how the first train of the day can be late everyday is beyond me.

Virgin Media, we do not have cable on our estate so stop with the letters

Lee, stop using the coffee spoon in my tea

Steve Wright, stop singing over records

Abu Hamza, just FOAD

Bruce Forsyth, learn to ad lib

Footballers, learn from Olympians

Cat, piss outside

steve6690

3 mobile - incompetent, useless, dishonest. Their call centre staff called my wife a "racist" because she couldn't understand the Indian-accented English of one of their operators. My wife is German and speaks fluent English, but she has difficulty with thick accents.

Capital One - outright thieves

Scottish Amicable - thieving scumbags

Pipex Internet - dishonest, lying, cheating ratbags so I left and went to Bulldog who were brilliant. Until Pipex bought them, and the lying started again. I had a 24Mb adsl line which, after an exchange "upgrade" suddenly would only sync at 8Mb, and that was after it'd been off for nearly a week. They'd limited my line to 8Mb, were still charging me for 24Mb and denied they'd done anything. Hours on the phone to them and when they finally admitted it, they refused to refund me the £10 I'd spent on calls.

RideOnTime

bankers

mfin

Brian Harvey

lawrences

Student finance england.

took me 30 minutes to explain that I had already been to university for a year.

CanalRider

I'll add HMRC. I do not get tax credit, haven't for four years, stop with I owe you 94quid routine. I can't be overpaid what I don't receive.

DF33

HMRC for me too.
Appealed some charges 2 months ago, just received three letters after all that time, all on the same day.
One apologising for not replying.
One saying they would not uphold my appeal and it was final.
One, same date, same department, different person, saying appeal not successful but can apply to have it looked at by an independant person if I don't agree.
No response to my accountants letter stating incorrect procedure on their part and the charges are not lawful.
letter from debt collection agency chasing charges arrived yesterday whilst accountants letter still not answered.
takes an eternity to answer the phones and when they do, they don't know what's going on.
Yet if I am one day late with my monthly PAYE return then instant £100 fine.

cycologist

Another one for Student Finance England. They have never been able to process my sons money or my forms once without completely cocking things up. I now record every bit of correspondence with them as they are completely incapable of creating and maintaining their own systems.

steerpike

TheStone wrote:

I'd add the NHS. Haven't had to use them much, but jaw opening mismanagement, incompetence and laziness at all levels.

Wow, some world class ignorance there.

TheStone

steerpike wrote:

TheStone wrote:

I'd add the NHS. Haven't had to use them much, but jaw opening mismanagement, incompetence and laziness at all levels.

Wow, some world class ignorance there.

Why is it ok to slag off hmrc, but not the nhs? Both very poorly run.

Bunneh

NHS has been great to me. When I needed help with my mental health they were there, as was a brilliant doctor who got me through it all, an a nurse who treated me with CBT. The size of the NHS you're going to get f*ck ups. Same with the employment services; the amount of my friends they've messed about when they've wanted to get into work, or needed to claim benefits - yet I never had a problem with them, apart from the JC manager in the 90s who said she considered all unemployed 'patients' who needed healing...

As for a useless wanker, the guy who runs a bike shop near me in Bolton. Utterly useless, don't know how he stays in business. Oh and most MPs, bar Johnson because he makes me laugh - at least it's something 'useful' HA.

upperoilcan

Further to my 1st post,i would like to add BT to the list for employing the W*nker.

peat

Yodel.

centimani

Rylan Clark, that tosspot off XFactor...he may, or may not be useless, but he's definately a w@nker.

And bankers...definately w@nkers.

Rigga

Blacktemplar wrote:

Virgin Media. And not just because the farking V= box crashes with monotonous regularity.

Workmen arrive to prepare driveway for monoblocking, and are shown precisely where the VM cable enters the property. They then promptly put a spade through it severing all communication with the outside world. Phone VM Service dept on mobile to book an engineer, and tragically get the Indian subcontinent instead. Cue nearly an hour of;

Me: the cable is completely severed, can you send an engineer to repair it please?
VM: certainly sir, but first can you tell me what the lights on your modem are doing?
Me: there are no lights on my modem, the cable is completely severed
VM: have you tried switching it off and on again sir?
Me: which part of "the cable is cut clean through therefore there is no service" is not getting through?
VM: I understand sir, but I need to know first what the lights on the modem are doing
[loop]
Me: (grinds teeth, shouts down phone line)
[/loop]
VM: before I can book an engineer sir, I need to know what the lights on your modem are doing.....
Me: THERE. ARE. NO. LIGHTS. ON. THE. F*CKING. MODEM. YOU. MORON.
VM: there's no need to get upset sir, if we can just establish what the lights on your modem.....
Me: (hangs up, writes incendiary letter of complaint to Richard Branson, gets no reply)

Clearly there was a script to follow, and come hell or high water my Indian friend was NOT deviating from it, no matter what the actual problem/question was.

Now with Sky. Who are frankly not much better.

So what lights were on your modem them?

dmclite-3.0

Johnny Vaughn.
Loose Women (TV show)
Bruce Forsyth.
Tracey Beaker.
Barney the Dinosaur and all his little singing happy chums.
The Ad company that gave us "Go Compare"
X Factor.

I could go on for hours......

D'yknow, I reckon I'm not far off a sniper in the tower moment soon if I don't start chilling out a bit.

team47b

lawrences wrote:

Student finance england.

took me 30 minutes to explain that I had already been to university for a year.

Not studying English I hope!

Add me to the list :oops:

Cannock Chase

Another for Virgin Media.
Was without internet 3 weeks ago. Signed up to get text message update on problem. Fault fixed after two days. STILL get text message every day with estimated time of repair. Can't bl**dy stop it..!!

Kerguelen

Cleat Eastwood wrote:

haha they are really really nice but absolutely useless

Does that not sum up Apple products in general though?

ethanhayes

Anther vote for student finance. This time student finance Wales.

Phoned up trying to ask why I had never recieved log in details for my account online, I clearly said 'I've NEVER had ANY log in details.'
Her reply?
'No worries Mr Hayes, if you could just give me your user name and I'll reset the password for you'.
me: 'No no, that's the point! I was never given a user name or password!'
her: 'Ok then... Do you remember your security question for student finance online?'
me: 'Are you kidding?'
her: 'sorry?'
me: 'forget it, I'm fed up.'

ethanhayes

ALIHISGREAT wrote:

ethanhayes wrote:

My university halls of residence maintenance team.

Mine are really good..

cleaners come in and find something wrong.. inform maintenance.. then I get back from lectures after lunch and a problem I didn't even know existed is fixed!

What!!! That's not bloody on!
We've not had any working cookers for 4 weeks - they only bothered to fix it yesterday :roll: And that was only because we had a moan to the managers and union residential support people, who told us to refuse to pay our rent until its sorted

Once when I complained, having explained it had been broken for 3 weeks AND reported daily.I kid you not, the guy replied with 'well you've got a microwave.' :shock:
I know we're students, but microchips taste like shit

oldhairylegs

Another vote for Santander here.

I wandered into one of their branches a few weeks ago asking to open an ISA - yes, for some stupid reason, I was actually going to entrust some of my money with them. They asked me if I would like to come back in a few hours time as they were all very busy (the place was empty) and they were about to go to lunch.....

I took my money to Nationwide instead.

Donkeywings

Sky, a little while ago.
My dad had no record of his password to setup an new router for his broadband, and asked me to sort it. We got through the bit where he authorized me to deal on his behalf, so I set out to get a new password for him:

Sky: So I understand that you have lost your password, and need us to generate a new password for your account
Me: Yes
Sky: In order to reset your password, we need to ask you some security questions
Me: Yes, that's fine.
Sky: Ok... can you tell me the 3rd and 5th characters of your password...

I wish this wasn't true... but it is.

willhub

Call center

Them:"ddfnfjhsdkjfhsdkjfhjsdhfdjskfhskjdfh dsfjsdkfjshfkjshfdjkfhsdkjf fsdjfhsdkjfhdskjfhsdkjhfsdkjhfsdj sdfhsjfhskjdhfjksdhfksjhfdjskhfd"

Me: "Sorry? What did yer say?"

Them: "providings ring dings DFJKHFHFDSJKFH DJKDFHDSJKFHSDKJFHB DSJKFHSDJKFDHSDJKH"