Pizza

rubertoe

As is discussed here viewtopic.php?f=40012&t=12846025 there appears to be some debate as to what is and what is not acceptable on a pizza.

So lets kick this off.

Olives yes.

Anchovies no.

clarkey cat

human flesh - no.

walkingbootweather

Fried egg - yesssss sir

Aromat - I think so

Anything from the sea - no way jose

corshamjim

clarkey cat wrote:

human flesh - no.

Kebab meat - Yes!

rubertoe

corshamjim wrote:

clarkey cat wrote:

human flesh - no.

Kebab meat - Yes!

In some parts of the world Kebab meat and Human flesh are probably fairly indistinguishable :shock:

Blue/soft Cheese = No

Yukirin

rubertoe wrote:

corshamjim wrote:

clarkey cat wrote:

human flesh - no.

Kebab meat - Yes!

In some parts of the world Kebab meat and Human flesh are probably fairly indistinguishable :shock:

Blue/soft Cheese = No

but goats cheese is a soft cheese, non? And goats cheese is awesome with caramelised onions!
No to sweetcorn. Absolutely no need.
And no to deep pan and no to stuffed crusts!

SimonAH

Very thin base, very hot oven (I use a pizza stone that I bought in the States, sure you can get them here but I've not seen them).

cheese is mozzarella, and not a massive amount, sauce is laid on well (not a smear). I like to use a romano and garlic pasta sauce (Bertolli do a good one if you can't be bothered to assemble).

The American take on Italian sausage in big slices (nom nom nom), green pepper, olives, and oregano.

Add artichoke hearts and diced pepadew when it's almost cooked.

Lubricate with some decent Chianti and serve with a spinach and ripe tomato salad tossed in homemade vinagrette dressing.

Tiramisu for pud.

Nirvana, and tonight's menu :-D

Agent57

Meat: yes
Things from the sea: no
Olives: no
Pineapple: no
More meat: yes
Vegetables: no
Mushrooms: maybe
Even more meat: yes
Jalapenos: yes
Chips: no
Hot pepper sauce: yes
A bit more meat: yes

davis

rubertoe wrote:

Anchovies no.

And here, ladies and gentlemen, are the incoherent babblings of a nincompoop and a blaggard.

Anchovies on pizza are de jure round these parts, sunshine. Tasty pigmeats are required too; Chorizo is the king.
Chicken could be nice if it didn't end up drier than a dead camel's ringpiece, sadly, it always does.

Eggs and capers are awesome. Olives=nomnomnom. Mushrooms of many varieties are a joy.

Pineapple can feck right off. Pointless chunks of misery. And that craptacular translucent watery pre-sliced ham that idiots and sexpests think constitutes "meat". Anyone that attempts to persuade a Chicken Tikka (or any curry, while I'm here) to coexist with a pizza has created a veritable monstrosity, and should see me after class.

kelsen

Cheese and tomato

encased in batter, deep fried, covered with salt and drenched in vinegar

Mmmmmmmm!

Kieran_Burns

davis wrote:

rubertoe wrote:

Anchovies no.

And here, ladies and gentlemen, are the incoherent babblings of a nincompoop and a blaggard.

Anchovies on pizza are de jure round these parts, sunshine. Tasty pigmeats are required too; Chorizo is the king.
Chicken could be nice if it didn't end up drier than a dead camel's ringpiece, sadly, it always does.

Eggs and capers are awesome. Olives=nomnomnom. Mushrooms of many varieties are a joy.

Pineapple can feck right off. Pointless chunks of misery. And that craptacular translucent watery pre-sliced ham that idiots and sexpests think constitutes "meat". Anyone that attempts to persuade a Chicken Tikka (or any curry, while I'm here) to coexist with a pizza has created a veritable monstrosity, and should see me after class.

You are so wrong, you actually prove the existence of curved spacetime. You are approaching being right from being so far wrong.

Your opinion is in fact a non-event in spacetime with a quantum probabilty of zero.

cooldad

Anchovies and capers. Salty heaven.

davis

Kieran_Burns wrote:

davis wrote:

...Anchovies on pizza are de jure round these parts, ... Olives=nomnomnom. ....

You are so wrong, you actually prove the existence of curved spacetime. You are approaching being right from being so far wrong.

Your opinion is in fact a non-event in spacetime with a quantum probabilty of zero.

Witless poppycock. You have clearly become accustomed to bland joyless tedium, devoid of flavour and joie de vivre.

Then again... the Midlands...

Greg T

Kieran_Burns wrote:

davis wrote:

And here, ladies and gentlemen, are the incoherent babblings of a nincompoop and a blaggard.

Anchovies on pizza are de jure round these parts, sunshine. Tasty pigmeats are required too; Chorizo is the king.
Chicken could be nice if it didn't end up drier than a dead camel's ringpiece, sadly, it always does.

Eggs and capers are awesome. Olives=nomnomnom. Mushrooms of many varieties are a joy.

Pineapple can feck right off. Pointless chunks of misery. And that craptacular translucent watery pre-sliced ham that idiots and sexpests think constitutes "meat". Anyone that attempts to persuade a Chicken Tikka (or any curry, while I'm here) to coexist with a pizza has created a veritable monstrosity, and should see me after class.

You are so wrong, you actually prove the existence of curved spacetime. You are approaching being right from being so far wrong.

Your opinion is in fact a non-event in spacetime with a quantum probabilty of zero.

KB.

You need to go back to your books and do some more learning. No matter how much you try to blame it on physics you seem to be weak limp wristed guy who would cheat at cards, fail to sleep with the Duchess, steal his mates last beer and buy R and B compilations.

The only condition that has a probability value of zero round here is you fancying girls. Davis has written the seminal (fnarr) piece on pizza, frankly I'm amazed you didn't suggest a nice green salad to the side with a vinegar dressing as you have a dress you need to fit into.

team47b

...that explains a lot! :shock:

Kieran_Burns

Greg T wrote:

KB.

You need to go back to your books and do some more learning. No matter how much you try to blame it on physics you seem to be weak limp wristed guy who would cheat at cards, fail to sleep with the Duchess, steal his mates last beer and buy R and B compilations.

The only condition that has a probability value of zero round here is you fancying girls. Davis has written the seminal (fnarr) piece on pizza, frankly I'm amazed you didn't suggest a nice green salad to the side with a vinegar dressing as you have a dress you need to fit into.

I hear the inane rattlings of a delusional nincompoop, the mutterings of a madman, the witterings of a windbag; and possibly the fantasies of a fop.

It seems Sir, that you resort to imposing your fantasies upon those you see around you. It is clear that you spend your time slathering yourself in cheese, spongy dough and meat of dubious origin while decrying the advanced culinary culture as espoused by my good self.

I do not doubt for a second that you prefer bagels to crumpet in the morn; and that they are not eaten but abused in ways an educated and literate man would find abhorrent.

Oh, and the duchess was a great shag.

EKE_38BPM

I believe this thread will, in time, be referred to as "The great pizza war of 2012".

This could well lead to the pineapple lovers starting yet another other cycling forum and the anchovy haters sectioned and "re-eduated" using extraordinary rendition, water-boarding and electric shock treatments.

And as for deep fried pizza...shudder!

Is there a north/south divide here? Northerners (and I include KB in this) go for chicken tikka pizza, deep fried pizza and the like whereas the Southerners actually like their pizzas to taste nice?

rolf_f

I'm confused.... we are having a debate that includes the suggestion that anchovies are not an appropriate pizza topping? Next someone will say that tomato and mozzarella are not appropriate pizza toppings.

Just to say - those folk who think that anchovies are not a suitable thing to feature on a pizza need to take a good, long, hard look at themselves and consider what they have become. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Now go and take your hybrid bikes and do not darken this forum again!

PS what sort of imbecile would put pineapple on a pizza. It is a waste of both the pineapple (lovely fruit) and the pizza.

rubertoe

Oh No!

What have i done.

By the way, my favorite pizza doesn't contain any tomato sauce! is that a sin?

White sauce, Mozzarella, porcini mushrooms garlic and truffle oil. yum yum

corshamjim

rubertoe wrote:

By the way, my favorite pizza doesn't contain any tomato sauce! is that a sin?

No, it's just cheesy garlic bread with mushrooms. Sounds great though!

yocto

Pear and gorgonzola. Yum.

Greg T

Kieran_Burns wrote:

It is clear that you spend your time slathering yourself in cheese, spongy dough and meat of dubious origin..

You say that like it's a bad thing. The cheese needs to be hot, really hot like raclette stingy burn your face off hot. Obviously molten cheese play is beyond you Doris....

Now then . . .

Gorgonzola and Pear.

Let's be clear about a couple of things. Blue cheese is het. Proper het like marmite, steak and 7.62mm. However, there is no need to go all Azurri and go for Gorgonzola.

Pears are fruit, fruit should only be eaten on strict Doctors orders to alleviate gout brought on by overindulging in Port and Beef. Best case the fruit should be apples brewed into Calvados - the cross channel rule does not apply - Normandy is mostly Viking.

Mixing Italian cheese and a fruit on a Pizza is NOT RIGHT. It cannot be more plain, fruit on Pizza is flogging crime.

If we are talking Stilton on Toast here - I'm all for it. If you want to stick banana on it (herb or not) you can ram it.

team47b

rubertoe wrote:

Oh No!

What have i done.

By the way, my favorite pizza doesn't contain any tomato sauce! is that a sin?

White sauce, Mozzarella, porcini mushrooms garlic and truffle oil. yum yum

Smoked I hope

madtam

Pizza toppings are really simple.

Meat and fish of any kind and any preparation are OK, along with pretty much any vegetables, herbs, cheese etc and there is nothing wrong with some fruit either.

Add what you want, and if that includes vanilla yoghurt, caramel and whitye chocolate then why not ?

Greg T

madtam wrote:

why not ?

Attitudes like that lost us a bridge.

DonDaddyD

Ah Pizza's

IMHO Pizza's fall into the same category as the beef or ham burger. You ruin them by making them "posh"(by posh I mean a masterclass of fancy ingredients).

Good ingredients doesn't always mean fancy ingredients. Therefore fennel seeds on the bun or truffle oil in the pizza base just spoils it (fennel seeds on the pizza base is kinda 'dope' though). Ketchup should be that, and not tomato relish. Cheese should be chedder (burger) or mozzarella (pizza )

Needless to say the Americana or a Sloppy Giuseppe is about as far as I go (in Pizza express).

Sometimes too much goes into fluffing/fancying/poshing up these simple concepts and you may as well make something else i.e. get a nice cut of the chosen meat and slow cook using the ingredients you'd have used in the pizza or burger?

Why?

Because honestly:
Thin pizza base
Tomato sauce/passata, black pepper, basil
Mozzarella

And a choice or combination of:
Ham, mushroom, green peppers, onions (red), pepperoni, chorizo

Would make the perfect pizza.

Equally:
Beef patty
Wholemeal bun

And a choice or combination of:
Bacon, iceberg lettuce, gherkin (it ain't a fooking pickle), ketchup, mustard, mayo, strong-chedder,
Onions (cooked, maybe even 'near' caramelised - so sweet).

Would make the perfect burger.

All the above ingredients can be good - organic, sandle wearing, heal the Earth and blessed by jesus safe - without the need of snobbing up the food so much that it becomes an example of social pretentiousness.

SimonAH

Don, good food does not have to be pretentious, and there is nothing wrong with comfort food, however life is too short to spend it only eating from the Denny's menu.

Live a little!

I have friends who probably rotate through five dishes and consider a prawn cocktail on iceberg lettuce the height of sophistication. It is such a shame to miss out on so much that life has to offer.

DonDaddyD

SimonAH wrote:

Don, good food does not have to be pretentious, and there is nothing wrong with comfort food, however life is too short to spend it only eating from the Denny's menu.

Live a little!

I have friends who probably rotate through five dishes and consider a prawn cocktail on iceberg lettuce the height of sophistication. It is such a shame to miss out on so much that life has to offer.

I disagree prawn cocktail - being my preferred Chrimbo dinner starter is best served on iceberg lettuce.

I agree that people should experiment with food. But sometimes the classics are just that and best kept simple and not overblown with needless poshing up.

Jay dubbleU

DonDaddyD wrote:

SimonAH wrote:

Don, good food does not have to be pretentious, and there is nothing wrong with comfort food, however life is too short to spend it only eating from the Denny's menu.

Live a little!

I have friends who probably rotate through five dishes and consider a prawn cocktail on iceberg lettuce the height of sophistication. It is such a shame to miss out on so much that life has to offer.

I disagree prawn cocktail - being my preferred Chrimbo dinner starter is best served on iceberg lettuce.

I agree that people should experiment with food. But sometimes the classics are just that and best kept simple and not overblown with needless poshing up.

Prawn cocktail - DDD are you trapped in the 80s ?

True pizza should be thin crust, sundried tomato paste, pesto, buffalo mozarello. kalamata olives, anchovies, black pepper to taste - there is no other recipe.

bobtbuilder

Agent57 wrote:

Meat: yes
Things from the sea: no
Olives: no
Pineapple: no
More meat: yes
Vegetables: no
Mushrooms: maybe
Even more meat: yes
Jalapenos: yes
Chips: no
Hot pepper sauce: yes
A bit more meat: yes

You sir, are a genius.

rick_chasey

DDD.

You need to watch Man vs. Food.