International day of the road going idiot

SimonAH

What the heck is going on this morning?? Three mile ride (two laptops in the courier bag so I took the short route) and three near misses!

Ok, the sun was bright, but it was at my back so no excuse for some of the duckwittery this morning.

1) Woman with child in front passenger seat shoots past me with mm to spare in a pinch point and then slams on the anchors to turn left into the school. What? You forgot where the turning was?

2) Agressive little weasel in a black focus pulls into the traffic stream from a side road on the right leaving me to panic brake as he takes up the road inches from my front wheel. On an otherwise empty road. Sorry, I know I'm hard to see. I'm six foot one and in a bright orange Syracuse Orangemen top riding a bike with bright orange deep dish wheels on a bright sunny morning. I'll try to be more conspicuous next time.

3) Same little weasel then gets shirty as I pass him repeatedly when he gets snarled up in traffic and so roars past me with a rizla dimensioned gap when he's freed.

And then I get into the office grumping about all of this and a grossly overweight female colleague says "I know what you mean, but I could cheerfully wish harm on a cyclist this morning. We were stuck in traffic for fifteen minutes trying to get out of the village and he just sailed past all of us". :evil: When I (nicely) suggested that if she took a bicycle she could sail through the traffic too (I mean honestly, she lives approximately two miles from the office and could REALLY do with some excercise) her reply was that it wouldn't be practical to take her (twelve) year old son to school (halfway between her house and the office). I managed to forbear from mentioning that he was also a bit of a porker and that a two mile round trip cycle ride a day might just be a start.

Ooo, seems that my grumpy muscles are twitching this morning. Keep calm and carry on people!

DrLex

SimonAH wrote:

What the heck is going on this morning?? [...]

SimonAH wrote:

[...]two laptops in the courier bag [...]

Indeed!

Oh, and sorry to read of the general cockwombling you endured.

notsoblue

SW London was mental this morning too...

SimonAH

DrLex wrote:

SimonAH wrote:

What the heck is going on this morning?? [...]

SimonAH wrote:

[...]two laptops in the courier bag [...]

Indeed!

Oh, and sorry to read of the general cockwombling you endured.

I'm a laptop smuggler Lex, today was a big consignment. :-)

DrLex

SimonAH wrote:

DrLex wrote:

SimonAH wrote:

What the heck is going on this morning?? [...]

SimonAH wrote:

[...]two laptops in the courier bag [...]

Indeed!

Oh, and sorry to read of the general cockwombling you endured.

I'm a laptop smuggler Lex, today was a big consignment. :-)

Have you thought about branching out into tablets- lighter and more popular, but almost the same price?

ChrisLS

In my experience the school run, either end of the day, is one of the most dangerous times to be on the road. Drivers are distracted and under time pressure. I have also been run off the road and cut up by church goers on a Sunday morning, another bunch of distracted drivers so it would seem... :roll:

vitesse169

SimonAH wrote:

What the heck is going on this morning?? Three mile ride (two laptops in the courier bag so I took the short route) and three near misses!

Ok, the sun was bright, but it was at my back so no excuse for some of the duckwittery this morning.

1) Woman with child in front passenger seat shoots past me with mm to spare in a pinch point and then slams on the anchors to turn left into the school. What? You forgot where the turning was?

2) Agressive little weasel in a black focus pulls into the traffic stream from a side road on the right leaving me to panic brake as he takes up the road inches from my front wheel. On an otherwise empty road. Sorry, I know I'm hard to see. I'm six foot one and in a bright orange Syracuse Orangemen top riding a bike with bright orange deep dish wheels on a bright sunny morning. I'll try to be more conspicuous next time.

3) Same little weasel then gets shirty as I pass him repeatedly when he gets snarled up in traffic and so roars past me with a rizla dimensioned gap when he's freed.

And then I get into the office grumping about all of this and a grossly overweight female colleague says "I know what you mean, but I could cheerfully wish harm on a cyclist this morning. We were stuck in traffic for fifteen minutes trying to get out of the village and he just sailed past all of us". :evil: When I (nicely) suggested that if she took a bicycle she could sail through the traffic too (I mean honestly, she lives approximately two miles from the office and could REALLY do with some excercise) her reply was that it wouldn't be practical to take her (twelve) year old son to school (halfway between her house and the office). I managed to forbear from mentioning that he was also a bit of a porker and that a two mile round trip cycle ride a day might just be a start.

Ooo, seems that my grumpy muscles are twitching this morning. Keep calm and carry on people!

Simon - I know just what you mean... When I worked in an office until April last year I would cycle in 3 times per week on various shifts. As I had done this for numerous years most people were used to me and my bright lycra - however there were a couple of 'lardies' whining on and on - so I became more vocal on heart disease, obesity etc and was told to mind my subject matter as it upset certain co-workers.....! What about my right to remain upright/alive FFS...... go figure...

meanredspider

I had this yesterday evening. Was passed by a people carrier inches from me - someone who couldn't wait the 3 seconds it would have taken me to reach the passing point on the singletrack road. I waved my hand to indicate my displeasure (in a mediterranean style rather than Anglo Saxon ) and so they sounded their horn. I did indicate that they might want to return to discuss the issue but they were off. The stupid thing is that this isn't a big place. I use that route almost daily in the summer - I will come across them again.

veronese68

ChrisLS wrote:

I have also been run off the road and cut up by church goers on a Sunday morning, another bunch of distracted drivers so it would seem... :roll:

They had obviously been good for the rest of the week so needed something to atone for and justify the hair shirt.

Simon, regarding the fat bint, as you is an engineer you need to calculate her resonant frequency and slap herrepeatedly at this rate until she explodes.

rick_chasey

vitesse169 wrote:

SimonAH wrote:

What the heck is going on this morning?? Three mile ride (two laptops in the courier bag so I took the short route) and three near misses!

Ok, the sun was bright, but it was at my back so no excuse for some of the duckwittery this morning.

1) Woman with child in front passenger seat shoots past me with mm to spare in a pinch point and then slams on the anchors to turn left into the school. What? You forgot where the turning was?

2) Agressive little weasel in a black focus pulls into the traffic stream from a side road on the right leaving me to panic brake as he takes up the road inches from my front wheel. On an otherwise empty road. Sorry, I know I'm hard to see. I'm six foot one and in a bright orange Syracuse Orangemen top riding a bike with bright orange deep dish wheels on a bright sunny morning. I'll try to be more conspicuous next time.

3) Same little weasel then gets shirty as I pass him repeatedly when he gets snarled up in traffic and so roars past me with a rizla dimensioned gap when he's freed.

And then I get into the office grumping about all of this and a grossly overweight female colleague says "I know what you mean, but I could cheerfully wish harm on a cyclist this morning. We were stuck in traffic for fifteen minutes trying to get out of the village and he just sailed past all of us". :evil: When I (nicely) suggested that if she took a bicycle she could sail through the traffic too (I mean honestly, she lives approximately two miles from the office and could REALLY do with some excercise) her reply was that it wouldn't be practical to take her (twelve) year old son to school (halfway between her house and the office). I managed to forbear from mentioning that he was also a bit of a porker and that a two mile round trip cycle ride a day might just be a start.

Ooo, seems that my grumpy muscles are twitching this morning. Keep calm and carry on people!

Simon - I know just what you mean... When I worked in an office until April last year I would cycle in 3 times per week on various shifts. As I had done this for numerous years most people were used to me and my bright lycra - however there were a couple of 'lardies' whining on and on - so I became more vocal on heart disease, obesity etc and was told to mind my subject matter as it upset certain co-workers.....! What about my right to remain upright/alive FFS...... go figure...

Think the mistake there was being too subtle.

SimonAH

Veronese68 wrote:

ChrisLS wrote:

I have also been run off the road and cut up by church goers on a Sunday morning, another bunch of distracted drivers so it would seem... :roll:

They had obviously been good for the rest of the week so needed something to atone for and justify the hair shirt.

Simon, regarding the fat bint, as you is an engineer you need to calculate her resonant frequency and slap herrepeatedly at this rate until she explodes.

Haha! Wonderful, but then you got me thinking. It's an awful shame that the physics doesn't work, but oh the joy of giving someone like that a present of a resonantly tuned vibrator! (Oh dear, people in the office looking at me chuckling silently) Hey! It worked! Grumpy muscles relaxed. Thanks Dude! :-D

rjsterry

SimonAH wrote:

Veronese68 wrote:

ChrisLS wrote:

I have also been run off the road and cut up by church goers on a Sunday morning, another bunch of distracted drivers so it would seem... :roll:

They had obviously been good for the rest of the week so needed something to atone for and justify the hair shirt.

Simon, regarding the fat bint, as you is an engineer you need to calculate her resonant frequency and slap herrepeatedly at this rate until she explodes.

Haha! Wonderful, but then you got me thinking. It's an awful shame that the physics doesn't work, but oh the joy of giving someone like that a present of a resonantly tuned vibrator! (Oh dear, people in the office looking at me chuckling silently) Hey! It worked! Grumpy muscles relaxed. Thanks Dude! :-D

Could get a bit messy when the limbs start flying off - actually, that might be a 'problem': limbs probably have a different resonant frequency than the torso. Would you need some kind of awesome power chord?

veronese68

I now have a mental image of what could only be described as Mrs Creosote.

veronese68

On the original topic there does seem to be a lot of it about this week. Bogey and the other fella yesterday, RJS wiped out today, Asprilla just jumped off (with help of a drain), plus Simon's many near misses and who knows how many others.
International week of the road going idiot? As they said in Hill Street Blues; "Let's be careful out there".

suzyb

I blame the return of the cold weather. Everyone was hopefully winter was over last week, now it has returned and people are "forced" back in their cars due to the cold, having to take extra time to scrape ice off them in the morning...it's stressful and depressing.

You cycle commuters really should have more sympathy for us driving commuters (except when said driving commuter drives 2 feckin miles, that is just lazy).

MonkeyMonster

Had 3 almost run ins this morning incl a non indicating mahoosive beamer driver ( no surprise tbh) a wvm who overtook screaming past in the opposing lane as I moving across the single lane to turn right (after indicating) - he was a right cocking bellend. 3rd was a numpty card driver not helped by a non indicating cyclist who wasn't road safe either. That and more than a few general mongoloids behind the wheels.
Oh and I hit avg of 20 mph on way home last night via the old school race track at 9pm ish. It was cold enough I could easily force myself to hammer it to stay warm. Hope the <sames as both of greg66's> who had some random rubbing in back wheel sorted it out safely - you were a useful rabbit till you stopped.

PBo

SimonAH wrote:

.....riding a bike with bright orange deep dish wheels......

Tart! I reckon I'd probably try and drive into you too!!

spen666

SimonAH wrote:

.... I managed to forbear from mentioning that he was also a bit of a porker and that a two mile round trip cycle ride a day might just be a start.
...

1 mile from the school? that's walking distance - easily. WTF is she doing driving him that short distance?

PolyphonicBoy

I had a few close calls this morning too. Most memorable was a driver who haired past me while I had my arm outstretched, indicating my intention to change lanes. I was seconds from moving into the lane he was in, and had given plenty notice of my intentions. He then had to break heavily for a red light 500 metres further on. Couldn't resist mouthing "WTF WAS THAT?"' at him when I pulled up beside him moments later.

spen666

ChrisLS wrote:

In my experience the school run, either end of the day, is one of the most dangerous times to be on the road. Drivers are distracted and under time pressure. I have also been run off the road and cut up by church goers on a Sunday morning, another bunch of distracted drivers so it would seem... :roll:

I've always found driving near any religious establishment is poor- and some of the selfish inconsiderate parking etc is incredible given that their religions teach consideration for others

SteppenHerring

spen666 wrote:

1 mile from the school? that's walking distance - easily. WTF is she doing driving him that short distance?

It's dangerous to walk - lots of bad drivers along there.

Mad traffic this morning. Glad I wasn't in the car. A few bits of foolishness - including my favourite: I take a wide primary and slow to let a bus pull out. Car behind tries to go around me as the bus moves off.

bails87

I saw two drivers getting out to inspect damage this morning after one had driven into the back of the other while they were in a massive queue of traffic doing about 1mph. How do you crash when you're going so slowly, in a straight line, with no junctions to worry about?!

rick_chasey

bails87 wrote:

I saw two drivers getting out to inspect damage this morning after one had driven into the back of the other while they were in a massive queue of traffic doing about 1mph. How do you crash when you're going so slowly, in a straight line, with no junctions to worry about?!

Cramp in your clutch leg? I had that once when I was still learning...

davis

Glad it wasn't just me encountering the soup-dribbling morons this morning...

daviesee

spen666 wrote:

1 mile from the school? that's walking distance - easily. WTF is she doing driving him that short distance?

Picture this then:-
I live in a small village with the primary school located in the centre. No house is more than 1/2 miles from the school.
According to my wife the school is mayhem at pick-up/drop-off. Lazy muppets.
Guy 2 doors along regularly drives the 200m to the shop for a pint of milk :roll:
Predicting an obese population in the future isn't too difficult.

meanredspider

SteppenHerring wrote:

including my favourite: I take a wide primary and slow to let a bus pull out. Car behind tries to go around me as the bus moves off.

I have that type of driving on the very short section of the A9 I do. I hammer down the hill (30+) towards a queue at the roundabout where I filter left. The number of cars that just HAVE to overtake me before slamming on their brakes to join the back of the queue of cars is just unreal. I congratulate them with a cheery "Well done!" as I pass them back....

I'd love to know what's going on in their brains at that moment!

bails87

meanredspider wrote:

I'd love to know what's going on in their brains at that moment!

Probably about as busy as this:



Rick: Could have been cramp, but it's easy enough to take the car out of gear without touching the clutch. It was on a downhill bit of road, the drivers probably wouldn't have had to touch the accelerator to move, as the traffic was that slow. Just letting go of the brakes would have moved the car forwards. My money is on inattention* and the car rolling forward due to the driver taking her foot off either the brake or clutch without realising. It was very low speed btw, no visible damage.

*But we'll never know.

meanredspider

bails87 wrote:

meanredspider wrote:

I'd love to know what's going on in their brains at that moment!

Probably about as busy as this:

Yup - but they MUST have thought something when they pulled out to overtake....

.......mustn't they??? :shock: :roll:

msmancunia

bails87 wrote:

I saw two drivers getting out to inspect damage this morning after one had driven into the back of the other while they were in a massive queue of traffic doing about 1mph. How do you crash when you're going so slowly, in a straight line, with no junctions to worry about?!

Judging by several I saw this morning, probably texting. I banged on the window of one this morning and nearly made him jump out of his skin. V satisfying.

rick_chasey

bails87 wrote:

meanredspider wrote:

I'd love to know what's going on in their brains at that moment!

Probably about as busy as this:



Rick: Could have been cramp, but it's easy enough to take the car out of gear without touching the clutch. It was on a downhill bit of road, the drivers probably wouldn't have had to touch the accelerator to move, as the traffic was that slow. Just letting go of the brakes would have moved the car forwards. My money is on inattention* and the car rolling forward due to the driver taking her foot off either the brake or clutch without realising. It was very low speed btw, no visible damage.

*But we'll never know.

I was kinda joking but sure.

Kieran_Burns

daviesee wrote:

spen666 wrote:

1 mile from the school? that's walking distance - easily. WTF is she doing driving him that short distance?

Picture this then:-
I live in a small village with the primary school located in the centre. No house is more than 1/2 miles from the school.
According to my wife the school is mayhem at pick-up/drop-off. Lazy muppets.
Guy 2 doors along regularly drives the 200m to the shop for a pint of milk :roll:
Predicting an obese population in the future isn't too difficult.

I lived : here The shops are behind the houses you can see on the right. My ex-g/f walked to car when we were popping up to the shop to get some food in.