Things non-cyclists say to cyclists

byke68

After cycling to work this morning, a barmy -4 in these parts, I was "totally hardcore" for doing so! Cheered me up!

Initialised

As I got changed into my winter gear at work: "getting your gimp suit on are you?" - "you should see my other one"

pdw

"You look like a golf club." (from the wife)

Apparently this is the effect created by big cleated road shoes, overshoes and bib longs.

My commuting attire is marginally more relaxed, and doesn't normally attract any interest from colleagues, even on the rare occasions where I've turned up late and had to sit through meetings wearing tights.

gareth1234

a new one today, almost pissed on the spot..

"What did you get for you Birthday Ga?"

"A cycling top, some Budweiser, tickets for a concert and Lance Armstrong's autobiography"

"Is he still alive?"

"Of course he is! He's only in his early forties"

"F**k off, he went to the moon over 40 years ago!!"

All this from a 23 year old, probably more of a comment on the state of education/stupidity levels.

notsoblue

"Can we stop talking about cycling now?"

bails87

gareth1234 wrote:

a new one today, almost pissed on the spot..

"What did you get for you Birthday Ga?"

"A cycling top, some Budweiser, tickets for a concert and Lance Armstrong's autobiography"

"Is he still alive?"

"Of course he is! He's only in his early forties"

"F**k off, he went to the moon over 40 years ago!!"

All this from a 23 year old, probably more of a comment on the state of education/stupidity levels.

Hey, credit where it's due, he/she knew when man first walked on the moon. Rightly or wrongly, there's no GCSE in 'names of cyclists'

EDIT: Also, (from a police officer) "Gawd, you must be freezing, it's really cold out there". This was after I'd told her I'd been standing outside the police station cooling down for five minutes....her powers of deduction weren't exactly Sherlock-esque.

Initialised

I wasn't on the bike today, first time for months. So I got:

"Have you met the new guy?"

"Have you got a new car?"

"I didn't recognise you in normal clothes"

il_principe

gareth1234 wrote:

"What did you get for you Birthday Ga?"

"Some Budweiser"

You poor f*cker.

Mr Plum

Il Principe wrote:

gareth1234 wrote:

"What did you get for you Birthday Ga?"

"Some Budweiser"

You poor f*cker.

Must have been the 'joke' present before the 'real' presents of the concert tickets and Lance Armstrong's autobiography...

Bi50N

"Did you cycle today?"

To me, in commuting gear, carrying two panniers. Typically uttered by people in finance, accounts, sales, or other departments where quick thinking is not a prerequisite.

"Did you really cycle today?"

To me, in commuting gear, carrying two panniers. Typically uttered, with incredulity, by the people that add more than two spoons of sugar to their tea or bring in cakes / sweets 'for the team.'

"Did you really cycle today?"

To me, in commuting gear, carrying two panniers. Typically uttered by fantasists / conspiracy theorists / those with hyperactive imaginations.

"Did you really cycle today?"

To me, in commuting gear, carrying two panniers. Typically uttered by anyone when it's cold, raining, or both.

And my girlfriend's favourite:

'But you don't need another bike.'

Mr Plum

"It takes me double that time to get here in the mornings!" - from the guy who lives about 200m down the road from me.

Applespider

Mr Plum wrote:

"It takes me double that time to get here in the mornings!" - from the guy who lives about 200m down the road from me.

My neighbour works just up the road from me. Today we were leaving at the same time and said hello as we did so. I headed off on the bike and she headed up the road for the bus.

I got to work, locked up the bike, changed, turned on the PC, chatted to some work colleagues and then nipped out to Pret for a coffee and some porridge. Only to meet my neighbour who'd just arrived and was gobsmacked to see me there already since she'd thought everything commute-wise had gone really smoothly this morning...

CiB

Things non-cyclists say? How about eeEEYYyeennn, or some such? That was all I heard shouted out of the open window of a lorry going in the opposite direction tonight on my way home. Maybe the whole sentence was the epitome of verbosity & wit skilfully precied into a short snappy sentence, but with a closing speed of 70mph and the added benefit of the Doppler Effect, that's all I heard. I suspect it was a reference to onanism, but honestly what was Rubber Duck hoping to get out of this brief high-speed exchange? Witty repartee?

cyclingprop

"That red light on your hat is brighter than the traffic lights"

seataltea

'Which white bike is that ?'

Owning bikes of all the same colour is a useful tool in confusing the other half about what you actually own.

SimonPieman

I used to have a racer.

deptfordmarmoset

To me, about to leave my daughter's this afternoon, in tights, helmet, with road-grizzed Hump over my rucksack: ''Drive safely.''

nickel

I can't count the amount of times I've had this one: "So are you going to do the Tour De France then?"

Or: "So how far do you cycle on saturday with your club" "70 miles" "Oh 17 miles? Thats a long way!"

Applespider

On a similar note, how about those who when you tell them that you cycled to Brighton/Windsor/(insert place more than 30 miles away) assume that you did it for charity?

redjeepǃ

" You don't look old enough to have an 18year old son "

Now said to me 3 times, by three different women.

pst88

"I bet you were looking at all the people in their nice warm cars wishing you were driving to work instead of cycling!"

Erm, no. More like blazing past glad I'm not stuck in that massive tailback.

Plumby Baby

by SimonPieman » Wed Feb 15, 2012 7:25 pm

I used to have a racer.

One of the funniest things I've ever read!! As a 34 year old male this is SO true!

rick_chasey

Redjeep! wrote:

" You don't look old enough to have an 18year old son "

Now said to me 3 times, by three different women.

That can be taken one of two ways...

bigmat

notsoblue wrote:

"Can we stop talking about cycling now?"

Haha yes hear that one a lot!

sexysi

Had a great one yesterday. Coming down the hill into Lewisham high street cars all queued on the road, so coming down the outside towards a traffic island. Next thing i know 2 people just walk out from in between the cars and I nearly take them out. The guy says to me

"Slow down you are going too fast"

Love it ;-)

si

pst88

"Hello, some people have eyes you know".

Well thanks for that shocking insight! Said to me by some drunk old slags sitting on the floor, moaning that my lights were shining in their eyes. I have some moderately bright lights on the front which are angled towards the ground for the very reason of avoiding blinding people. If you sit on the floor, that's what you get.

stuaff

Applespider wrote:

On a similar note, how about those who when you tell them that you cycled to Brighton/Windsor/(insert place more than 30 miles away) assume that you did it for charity?

Get that a lot on FNRttCs. Not only cycling somewhere at least 50 miles from the start (and quite a few cycle back into the smoke or to home, including myself). But doing it at night....

When I did Pedal to Paris (the British Legion charity ride), I had more sarcastic comments than donations at work. Usually from the kind of people who take the lift rather than walk down, let alone up, one flight of stairs....

davis

"I can't believe you ride to work!"

*shrug* "Why not?"

"Because there are dozy people like me driving!"... said cheerfully as she got into her car...

Yep, it's my cycling that's in need of redress.

Mr Plum

"You'll never eat all that!"

dhope

Mr Plum wrote:

"You'll never eat all that!"

I get this

'Double portion of porridge this morning?'

Nope, this is normal, and I'll be snacking by 10.30 too