Things non-cyclists say to cyclists

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  • essex-commuter
    essex-commuter Posts: 2,188
    Haha, I think I’ve heard all of the above over time!

    I was a bit late into work this morning due to 6 sets of temporary traffic lights that were all against me (4 of which are on country lanes). My boss said to me “couldn’t you have ridden on the pavement?”.
  • ddraver
    ddraver Posts: 26,682
    iPete wrote:
    Look at those tiny wheels!! [pointing at the Brompton]

    Ah, to be fair, cyclists say that as well..... :wink:
    We're in danger of confusing passion with incompetence
    - @ddraver
  • wordnumb
    wordnumb Posts: 847
    Greg T wrote:
    Sorry Mate, I didn't see you

    This, though often without the first bit and with added expleting.
  • king_jeffers
    king_jeffers Posts: 694
    Applespider wrote:
    Standing in the office in helmet, leggings and a jersey - "Oh, did you cycle today?" I mean - why else would I have cycle gear on.

    This is my fave. I usually cycle into work every day except when its sheet ice everywhere or torrential rain. I walked into work the other day with a tri-climate jacket on, boots, woolly hat, gloves etc - basically looking the furthest I could from being a cyclist.... to the question; cycle in today?

    Hmmmm
  • fossyant
    fossyant Posts: 2,549
    'Hello spiderman'

    'You look very aerodynamic' :shock:

    Been called worse.
  • clarkey cat
    clarkey cat Posts: 3,641
    "is that a an extra large cumberland sausage and two avocados in your lycra - or are you just pleased to see me?"

    My old man is a right wag.
    Dolan Mythos
  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    "Bloody cyclists"
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,661
    clarkey cat wrote:
    "is that a an extra large cumberland sausage and two avocados in your lycra - or are you just pleased to see me?"

    My old man is a right wag.

    S'what happens when you draft ATG...
    _
  • rjsterry
    rjsterry Posts: 29,359
    redvee wrote:
    I was called Max Wall at a previous plce of employment as I wore cycling tights and bulky fleece.
    Much like your avatar then :)
    1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
    Pinnacle Monzonite

    Part of the anti-growth coalition
  • vermin
    vermin Posts: 1,739
    clarkey cat wrote:
    "is that a an extra large cumberland sausage and two avocados in your lycra - or are you just pleased to see me?"

    My old man is a right wag.

    ^ this, only I don't have such advanced control over my old man.
  • EKE_38BPM
    EKE_38BPM Posts: 5,821
    "Have you been circumcised?" Said to me by a drunk young lady outside the Morpeth. ITB still laughs at this.
    FCN 3: Raleigh Record Ace fixie-to be resurrected sometime in the future
    FCN 4: Planet X Schmaffenschmack 2- workhorse
    FCN 9: B Twin Vitamin - winter commuter/loan bike for trainees

    I'm hungry. I'm always hungry!
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,661
    EKE_38BPM wrote:
    "Have you been circumcised?" Said to me by a drunk young lady outside the Morpeth. ITB still laughs at this.
    WTF?
    _
  • Mr Plum
    Mr Plum Posts: 1,097
    Girlfriend: "I don't need the car today so you can take it instead of the bike".

    It doesn't matter how many times I tell her that I actually like riding to work, even in the rain (sometimes more than when it's dry :twisted: ).
    FCN 2 to 8
  • gosport_commuter
    gosport_commuter Posts: 185
    Mr Plum wrote:
    Girlfriend: "I don't need the car today so you can take it instead of the bike".

    I get this all the time too lol. makes me feel like a masochist.
  • jimmypippa
    jimmypippa Posts: 1,712
    meanredspider wrote:
    "you're insane" is probably what I hear most often

    (if you don't count "look at the size of that!" :wink: )
    I gather it's quite cold on your commute, so that might be true...
    http://www.bikehike.co.uk/mapview.php?id=6404
  • rodgers73
    rodgers73 Posts: 2,626
    (morning after) - "did you get home alright last night?"
  • mtb-idle
    mtb-idle Posts: 2,179
    'Have you done the London to Brighton?' as if that is the test that a cyclist has to take.

    My usual response is yes,I did it there and back or if I tell them I did it just last weekend on my own for fun and not with 60,000 BSO's that blows their minds.
    FCN = 4
  • SmellTheGlove
    SmellTheGlove Posts: 697
    "oooh, were you wearing a helmet" - spoken by some five-star clown to a friend who had just rocked up at the school gate with broken collarbone after a weekend argument with a gatepost.
    "Consider the grebe..."
  • mtb-idle
    mtb-idle Posts: 2,179
    "I've got a Boardman"
    FCN = 4
  • davis
    davis Posts: 2,506
    SmellTheGlove wrote:
    "oooh, were you wearing a helmet" - spoken by some five-star clown to a friend who had just rocked up at the school gate with broken collarbone after a weekend argument with a gatepost.

    Someone asked me exactly that, after I'd came off and broken my back.

    There is no educating pork...
    Sometimes parts break. Sometimes you crash. Sometimes it’s your fault.
  • Gazzaputt
    Gazzaputt Posts: 3,227
    Bloody hell that weighs hardly anything (17lb winter bike)

    Carbon? They make bikes from carbon?
  • MonkeyMonster
    MonkeyMonster Posts: 4,629
    that's disgusting - when wearing my damaged skeleton jersey
    nice bum
    oh my god you're covered in sweat
    you look silly
    you look like daddy (from niece)
    Le Cannon [98 Cannondale M400] [FCN: 8]
    The Mad Monkey [2013 Hoy 003] [FCN: 4]
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 61,105
    byke68 wrote:
    why haven't you got gears?
    wouldn't catch me wearing them shorts/tights/top etc
    Some of those things don't sound that stupid ;-)
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • jonny_trousers
    jonny_trousers Posts: 3,588
    "Didn't you used to have a penis?"

    Cold weather and lycra does strange things to a man's - um - ego.
  • rideslikeagirl
    rideslikeagirl Posts: 63
    Did you ride in today? (in cycling kit, and wet)
    I couldn't possibly afford a bike (smoker, driver, goes to gym and feels pleased with themselves)
    Isn't it dangerous?
    Do you run red lights?
    How fast were you going?! I could barely get past you!
    (driver in traffic jam) 'you're blocking the traffic!!'
  • bails87
    bails87 Posts: 12,998
    Just remembered....
    My brother's girlfriend wrote:
    You cycled all that way?


    Wow.....your stamina must be amaaazing.....
    *hold gaze for longer than I'm comfortable with*

    :shock:
    MTB/CX

    "As I said last time, it won't happen again."
  • Ben6899
    Ben6899 Posts: 9,686
    "It's a MTB, but I fitted skinny tyres so it's basically a road bike now. Certainly as fast anyway."
    Ben

    Bikes: Donhou DSS4 Custom | Condor Italia RC | Gios Megalite | Dolan Preffisio | Giant Bowery '76
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ben_h_ppcc/
    Flickr: https://www.flickr.com/photos/143173475@N05/
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,661
    bails87 wrote:
    Just remembered....
    My brother's girlfriend wrote:
    You cycled all that way?


    Wow.....your stamina must be amaaazing.....
    *hold gaze for longer than I'm comfortable with*

    :shock:
    :lol: Don't say you don't love it.
    _
  • HoHoHoBlueGiant
    HoHoHoBlueGiant Posts: 85
    'You need to get some new tyres, yours are bald'
    Wind. Cold. Rain. Pick two.
  • Kieran_Burns
    Kieran_Burns Posts: 9,757
    "Yeah, I cycle as well. I bought one from Halfords. Cost me over ONE HUNDRED QUID!!!!" (in a voice of near disbelief)
    Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
    2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
    2011 Trek Madone 4.5
    2012 Felt F65X
    Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter

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