I’m after a bit of advice if anyone can help (work/stress).

Specialized Needs

DonDaddyD wrote:

rjsterry wrote:

Gussio wrote:

welkman wrote:

I do not think my workplace would be at all sympathetic, I have managed to keep this fairly quiet until now.

Your employer has to be sympathetic.

FTFY

No, it's the public sector, legally his employer has to be sympathetic.

Useful clarification DDD, and you are right to point this out. I doubt RJS meant otherwise and it seems likely that his focus was on removing the 'suspect' from the phrase.

welkman: lots of helpful and, I hope you find, supportive comments here.

welkman

Thanks, this has helped me to try and sort myself out. I am off to the doctors on thursday and will see what she says, I think I will get signed off to try and sort out my head if she presses that again, I also think that something needs to change at work sooner rather than later.

Again I would like to thank everyone that has repllied.

Welkman

welkman

Morning,

I have one last question before I head to the GP. My Wife is seriously worried that being signed off for stress/anxiety will mean that no one will look at me when I come to apply for other jobs, including jobs outside of the public sector. Is this something I should be worried about? Surley there is laws to prevent discrimination on these grounds?

Welkman

Kieran_Burns

No. Not the case at all.

For one you do not need to tell them; and secondly I got a new (much better) job less than a year after coming back from being sick with stress

Oddly my old employers offered me a double figure percentage pay rise to stay (which I declined) and I then got the dept head asking me "What can we do to keep you at <insert name here>...?"

Now you have to understand that this was after having a pretty spectacular nervous breakdown in the office and needing therapy to even be able to answer a phone - I was in a very bad way for a while.

Don't worry about it. You may as well worry that people won't employ you because you've had the sh*ts and you might smell.

You are ill, not dangerous.

suzyb

Reading this thread, I wish I'd realised I was suffering stress years ago and got help instead of just quitting Didn't occur to me until years after I left.

DonDaddyD

Specialized Needs wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

rjsterry wrote:

Gussio wrote:

welkman wrote:

I do not think my workplace would be at all sympathetic, I have managed to keep this fairly quiet until now.

Your employer has to be sympathetic.

FTFY

No, it's the public sector, legally his employer has to be sympathetic.

Useful clarification DDD, and you are right to point this out. I doubt RJS meant otherwise and it seems likely that his focus was on removing the 'suspect' from the phrase.

welkman: lots of helpful and, I hope you find, supportive comments here.

Oh absolutely, I don't disagree with RJS I just wanted to point out that if an employee (welkman) is stressed to a point that their organisation could be legally liable then the stress levels must be serious enough for the employee to take action and seek help. (I accept that I probably didn't make that clear).

Still it seems, welkman has sort the help needed.

I have one last question before I head to the GP. My Wife is seriously worried that being signed off for stress/anxiety will mean that no one will look at me when I come to apply for other jobs, including jobs outside of the public sector. Is this something I should be worried about? Surley there is laws to prevent discrimination on these grounds?

You do not have to disclose any time off for stress or anxiety to future employers. If they look at your previous sickness record then you may have to explain high levels of absence. From the information you've given (your doctor signed you off for 2 weeks right) I think it would be highly unlikely.

If it is a reoccuring health issue or one that may affect your ability to do the job - i.e. disability then you should disclose that to your new employer.

If it were me, I've never had to explain a high level of absence. People lie anyway...

sketchley

It *may* have an effect on the sick pay you would received in a new job if you suffered from stress if you did not disclose a pre-existing condition to your new employer before you took the job. The new employee may ask for a full medical prior to employment at which point you may have to disclose. However, they cannot discriminate against you based on medical grounds, particularly if a reasonable adjustment could be made to the job to allow you to do it, as required by the Disability Discrimination Act 1995

In general though put yourself in the position of a future employer, either you are sitting in the front of them having been placed in a difficult situation by your previous employer which made you ill but you took the initiative sought treatment and then recovered, or you hid it from everyone until one day you snapped without telling anyone what the problems was. Given these two scenarios from the employers perspective you will appear the stronger candidate if you front up and deal with the problem rather than trying to hide it.

To reiterate what has been said already, you are ill, work has made you ill, you are not to blame for this they are and no future employer will hold this against you as it is not your fault. If they did hold this against you, would you want to work for them anyway? Chances are they would only have an issue with it, if they intended to place you in the same situation again and are concerned about how you would cope. I would guess you would not want another job with the same level of work and stress?

cyclingprop

Ultimately employers have a duty of care to staff. If you are worried speaking to your union is a good idea; I knos they're good at supporting similar circumstances, a family member needed to use them.

If the drugs your doc has prescribed are zoning you out, go back. There are lower strength (e.g zopiclone ls) which may be plenty. Don't forget you're entitled to ask for a second opinion if you don't feel as supported as you need. You may well find your local primary care trust has support lines for stress etc too.

The exercise advice is great too. Getting out in fresh air can make you feel much better. Hope you feel better soon.

NGale

I suffered my first bout of depression when I was at university, it came on after years of build up of stressing over my education and trying to get through exams when I didn't know why I couldn't understand the work I was being given (I was eventually diagnosed dyslexic and dyscalculia at the age of 21). The university and uni doctors were great and gave me the meds and counselling to get through. I thought I had dealt with it fully until I was three years into working for the prison service and had slowly been unable to cope with the bullying I was receiving from my line manager. I eventually had a full breakdown in the middle of the prisoners workshop and had to be taken to the health care unit to be dealt with before being sent home. I was off for 2 months before returning to a new post after the investigation into my line manager was concluded.

My second experience was the most life changing, I realised there is more to life than work (although now being unemployed at the moment the boredom is driving me nuts!) I started to do things for me rather than everything for work and everyone else. It led to me splitting up from my ex because he couldn't cope with the change in me because he liked everything revolving around him and me taking time for myself by joining the St John Ambulance and getting involved with the Cadet forces (air cadets at the time until I moved back to Exeter) meant to him that I was spending less time on him and cleaning the house! While splitting with my ex was traumatic in itself it wasn't as bad as it could have been because I had something to concentrate on and that was my own mental health and well-being.

I still get low periods (in fact last year in august before being made redundant I was off for two weeks with stress because a line managers bullying!) but I ride through them and Jake knows when to be there and when to leave me be. I have been lucky with him, as a PTSD sufferer himself he knows when I'm about to hit a low and if he sees it soon enough he will do his best to cheer me up and be supportive.

I also haven't medicated my depressive moments since I was at university. I find getting out on the bike or going out for a walk a good alternative medication that works for me.

Your mental health is the most important thing you can have, without it you aren't you, simple as that and that is the most destructive thing in any persons life and the lives of those around you. You say you can't move jobs now because of the future of others, well think of it this way, if you don't move jobs now you could impact their future in a negative way because you can no longer cope and they are unlikely to forgive easily for that.

It's easy to think of others first at times like this, but this really is the time to be selfish and look after yourself.

welkman

Update

Thanks for giving me a kick up the butt, I have actually taken some positive steps today. The Union and the support people have been contacted and have backed up everything said on here, we are currently working on a plan in order to sort out the issue at work without leaving me vulnerable. The GP basically told me I was a wreck and signed me off for a minimum of 7 days, on the plus side the GP insists that I am active and thinks that I should be looking at getting 1-2hours exercise per day. I feel mighty relieved to have done something about this after so long.

dhope

Very good to hear

Kieran_Burns

We're just great us lot

cyclingprop

Great. Looking forward to progress (and mileage) reports, glad the first steps have given a bit of relief

JaiRo

Go docs, say you cant sleep, you have a lot of anxiety, your balls have shrunk and you libido has decreased.

Will get a few days off, not that Ive done this.

walkingbootweather

See your other half, say you can't sleep, you have a lot of anxiety, your balls are huge and your libido is on fire.

Hope you get more luck than I did

merkin

walkingbootweather wrote:

See your other half, say you can't sleep, you have a lot of anxiety, your balls are huge and your libido is on fire.

Hope you get more luck than I did

Glad to hear you had no luck. Fancy saying that to welkmans missus. :?

welkman

walkingbootweather wrote:

See your other half, say you can't sleep, you have a lot of anxiety, your balls are huge and your libido is on fire.

Hope you get more luck than I did

Reminds me of the Rob Warner quote commentating on the world cup DH run "with balls that big how does he sit down?"

Drfabulous0

I've been here and find that the drugs the doctor prescribes don't work. I find that smoking a joint before work every morning keeps me happy all day.

EKE_38BPM

Drfabulous0 wrote:

I've been here and find that the drugs the doctor prescribes don't work. I find that smoking a joint before work every morning keeps me happy all day.

I had a friend who used to do a bucket as soon as he woke up and then another before he left the house for work. I'm surprised he could stand, never mind do a days work.

walkingbootweather

EKE_38BPM wrote:

I had a friend who used to do a bucket as soon as he woke up and then another before he left the house for work.

Hope he's kicked the .. er... habit now.

welkman

update....

Had 10 days signed off but back in for a full week this week. Still very stressed and my employer has said there is nothing to be done about my workload etc. Seeing the shrink is actually much more useful than I thought it would be and it has encouraged me to make some big decisions but I’m still very reliant on the drugs the GP has given me to get through the day.

As of Easter I am leaving my job as it is making me really quite ill. I have found some well paid work through a family member that can fill a gap while I look for a new job which I know is lucky considering the economic climate. I am hoping to make it to Easter without exploding.

My decision to leave this week was underlined by another staff member going mental and legging it after three weeks working and me having a load of stuff, including memory sticks and keys, nicked today which has royally pissed me off.

I am dreaming of some stress free time after Easter, maybe a cycle tour or perhaps a lejog. My counsellor says I may need more time off to sort my head out after leaving.

I am keeping up the riding clocking well over 100miles a week at the moment so it’s not all bad.

Welkman

rjsterry

My decision to leave this week was underlined by another staff member going mental and legging it after three weeks working

If you needed any further proof that it is your workplace that is causing this...

welkman

I know, he had come from overseas as well poor chap.

First.Aspect

Are you going to stay in teaching?

MonkeyMonster

Glad you've turned a corner Mr and found a bit of peace at least. FIngers crossed on finding more. Me other arf's a CBT therapist and would agree with all advice from the chaps and ladies here. Well done for using it.

welkman

First Aspect wrote:

Are you going to stay in teaching?

No

graham.

Well done you.
I find takeing a bit of controle is the best medicine.
Iv'e been having a rough time at work lately with an inefectual manager who can't controle elements of his staff. It affects me more than logic says it should, to the point that every day this week Iv'e been in tears before leaving for work. Had the director down today to try and sort it out. No punches were pulled on iether side and hopefuly it's cleared the air a bit, but after 36 years at the place I think it's time for a change.
Best wishes to anyone in this kind of position. Don't get angry, get even!
Graham.

Oh and I broke my finger in two places 45 mins before the meeting!

cyclingprop

Updates please?

welkman

Well I have handed in my notice and have also applied and got an interview for another job in a different field which I am really hoping to get. I managed to get through to half term without any more time off work but I would be lying if I said it was easy; every day was a struggle and I really only did it to avoid my sixth form students loosing any more lessons. Since handing in my notice I have had many people tell me they are in the same position as me, having time off ill and looking for other jobs. The general moral in the workplace is rock bottom and there is a real Orwellian feeling to the place.

Counselling has helped me more than I thought it would, mainly putting my ideas in order and formulating a plan for my future.

I am having an absolute nightmare trying to stop taking Zopiclone which I was prescribed for insomnia. It had the side effect of relieving anxiety during the day and I think I may have become overly dependant on it. I am trying to use this week to stop taking it and have had serious issues sleeping and have felt awful during the day.

One thing I am managing is getting the hours in on the bike and dropping some weight ready for the summer so its not all bad

ex-pat scot

A cautionary tale. Glad it's starting to seem rosier.

I have to say that it is striking a lot of chords with me. And not in a good way.

Still- awareness is the first step...