I’m after a bit of advice if anyone can help (work/stress).

welkman

Been thinking about posting this for a while.
I am currently suffering mega stress at work which has made me quite ill. I struggle to get to sleep because I fear the next day at work and what might happen to me. I wore a HR monitor the other day and my HR was about 150-170 BPM at work when doing the bits I find most stressful, so that is probably about 3-4 hours. I have been like this for a while (12 months). The doctor has tried several different drugs to help me including SSRIS, anti fitting drugs??? And valium/diazepam; she also gave me some strong codeine tablets for the migraines I suffer as part of the stress. The only thing that has worked for me so far is the diazepam which I can take if I get really stressed out at work or if I cannot sleep, but obviously this is not a good solution long term.I did also end up using the codeine to take the edge off so I had to put a stop to that. Last time I went in she gave me something called Zopiclone which is supposed to help me get to sleep. It basically is a tranquiliser that knocks you flat after about 10 mins of taking it. This makes me feel completely spaced out in the mornings and last weekend it ruined my planned riding on Saturday because I felt so crap.
I have job possibilities coming up but I have to stay at this job until September as leaving it would unfairly impact several peoples futures. So does anyone have any ideas or similar experiences that could help me? If you have had any success with different drugs etc. It would be really good to know as the ones I have tried so far have done nothing or completely screwed me up!

Cheers Welkman.

dhope

welkman wrote:

I have to stay at this job until September as leaving it would unfairly impact several peoples futures

Can't be any use on the drugs I'm afraid, and without understanding the situation it's hard to comment but is it really not possibly to leave sooner than 8 months? Can you leave and arrange to consult a day a week to ease any transition?
Other people at work will find a way to cope without you if you leave. If they can't then it's something they need to learn to do.

Health comes first.

First.Aspect

These people whose futures you are worried about... Do they work with you? If so, how worried are they about yours.

Unless you employ them, leave. If it's as bad as you say, you've lost perspective. You are an employee and they are not family.

Maxticate

Why do the other people's futures matter more than your own. It's the decent thing to do to bear other people in mind; but to the point where you have to take medication to get through the day is taking it too far. I'm sure these people wouldn't want you to suffer just so that they could be more comfortable.

Your health comes first.

You don't have to do anything so don't convince yourself you have to stay at your job till September. As soon as you have an opening get out.

Gussio

Sorry to hear that you are not getting on well. I am currently managing two people who suffer from stress-related issues. In both cases, they took time off work (between 1 and 3 months). This removed the cause of the stress, provided an opportunity to get the correct balance of drugs, and reflect upon coping mechanisms. Both of them are now in happier places, and importantly recognise the warning signs of a build up of stress. We have put in place mentoring and coaching support to ensure that things don't get to such a stage in the future.

I don't know if it is an option available to you, but if you can get signed off it may well help. Time away from the office has helped both of my staff. There seems to be a bit of a stigma associated with stress and taking time off work. However, when I started asking around for support on how best to support my two line managees I was surprised by how many people are affected by stress. You won't be alone.

Good luck getting through this period.

mudcow007

thats not good dude

at the end of the day its only a job - i know that you said it will effect other peoples futures etc but what about your future, what about your families future!!?

Kieran_Burns

I had a full blown nervous breakdown in the office some 10 years or so back because of stress. I was off work for months and have never been the same since. I suffered from depression and was divorced because of it.

Just thought I'd give you some perspective on how bad things can get if you don't look after yourself first in these kind of situations.

sketchley

If you are under that much stress then your judgement is impaired the only way you will be able to really make the best decisions for the future is to sort out the stress. Drugs are just a temporary solution and you have 9 months until September. My advice is put yourself first, go back and see the doctor, explain everything and come up with a plan for dealing with the stress and getting you back to normal, this has to be number one priority and if the doctor agrees should include getting signed off for stress. Also once you have spoken with your doctor talk to work and explain the problem they my well be supportive but this does depend on who you work for. Once that stress has been sorted then worry about jobs, other people and future; as doing this with a clear head will be much easier and you'll make better decisions.

Slow Downcp

Having been there myself (and still there to a point), stay off Zopiclone. Whilst it helped me sleep, when I came of it the problem just worsened. See if your doctor will prescribe Topariamite for your migraines (better solution but expensive so not the first option, I only got it by going private).

Keep exercising to help stave off stress, and as others have said switch jobs sooner rather than later - other people will cope without you. If they can't then maybe they're the reason for your stress?

UndercoverElephant

What is it at work that is causing the stress? Is it the work, the boss, targets or what?

Fat-Boy-Roubaix

Really honestly, you have to look after you and your future.

Also honestly there is no magic pill, although GP's seem to think this is the case.

You need to learn some new life changing technicques to help you cope with life and stress. Make an appointment with your GP and ask about mental health in your area. CBT may work you need to learn how to deal with the stress, or it will pile up issues. My advice is not to bolt from the job unless you really cannot reduce the stress. Running (bolting as I call it) could make it worse in the long run creating am additonal fear of returning.

I am really surprised your GP has not reffered you on to a mental health specialist for over a year.

Excercise helps, it helps a lot.
Meditiation or any type of lead relaxtion helps, and helps a lot.

Some of the Paul Mckenna CD's helped me in the short term ( I really hate saying they did, but they did) Instant Confidence and the Stress one, intially I was doing them every night and some lunchtimes, but the reason was that they allowed me to sleep and during the day the feeling of normal or even god forbid relaxed post half an hour relaxiaon was brillant.

This was ten+ years ago I came out the otherside a differnt person, no better no worse just differnet.

rjsterry

No idea if you have this option, but could you speak to your HR department or line manager about the stress to see if they can help. Sounds like you are not far off your GP signing you off work for a prolonged period, and if it is work that is causing the problem, they should take the fact that they are making you ill very seriously.

veronese68

I agree with everything written above. I worked in a place that caused me stress, my manager was stealing and blaming me. I proved it was him and it took them 3 months to sack him.
During this period I contracted Hodgkins Disease, a form of lymphatic cancer. I can't prove that is the reason but they did say if not caused directly by stress it certainly exacerbates the situation.
Needless to say I got out of there. I now work at a place I used to work previously, closer to home, shorter hours and a lot less grief. Less money and I worry about that, but quality of life is vastly improved.

EKE_38BPM

You HAVE to put your health first.

I had a job that was stressing me out and the day I left was one of the happiest of my life. Your job should not cause you this stress.
Remember, work to live, not live to work.
Keep exercising, that is really important.

welkman

Thanks for all the replies. I think I need to explain my situation a bit more. I have been told I need to be signed off by the GP but my students, not co workers, would suffer. I am currently teaching four different A Level courses ( I only signed up for 1) and a load of other classes and they would not be able to replace me. The way that A Levels are run would mean the kids would be left without a teacher and they would not get a replacement for my absence and this would most likely cause them to get really bad grades. On top of this they have just announced a week of staff assessment next week and I really am quite close to breaking point. I do not think my workplace would be at all sympathetic, I have managed to keep this fairly quiet until now.

Talking about CBT I have a counselling session booked by the GP for Thursday, what should I expect? Also my best mate was fairly concerned and has got me playing squash once a week to help but recently I have not had the time.

EKE_38BPM

welkman wrote:

Thanks for all the replies. I think I need to explain my situation a bit more. I have been told I need to be signed off by the GP but my students, not co workers, would suffer. I am currently teaching four different A Level courses ( I only signed up for 1) and a load of other classes and they would not be able to replace me. The way that A Levels are run would mean the kids would be left without a teacher and they would not get a replacement for my absence and this would most likely cause them to get really bad grades. On top of this they have just announced a week of staff assessment next week and I really am quite close to breaking point. I do not think my workplace would be at all sympathetic, I have managed to keep this fairly quiet until now.

Talking about CBT I have a counselling session booked by the GP for Thursday, what should I expect? Also my best mate was fairly concerned and has got me playing squash once a week to help but recently I have not had the time.

I admire your concern for the students, but (and I hope this doesn't happen) if you have a breakdown, then you will be off for ages so they would be in a worse position then they would be if you take a relatively short period of time off now.

Putting yourself first is also the best for them.

rjsterry

This might be useful

http://teachersupport.info/mental-health/Advice.php

Your employers have a legal responsibility to ensure your health and welfare - it doesn't sound as though they are meeting that responsibility. If/when you end up taking time off, it is their fault that the students' education will suffer, due to under resourcing, not yours.

gtvlusso

Health and family first (what affects you affects those closest to you as well)

This seems to be common in teaching these day - my mum left teaching as stress was killing her. She was not a nice mum during her teaching years.

In terms of what you can do:

Go on reduced workload
Take the signoff from GP
keep going and lose it one day in a big way and get fired.

I went through a similiar thing at my old job, my boss was a complete ar$e. Consequently, I went through the greivence process and won - he got a b*ll*cking and then made my life a misery. I was within a few days of just quitting when another job came up and I managed to leave very quickly. Technically, I am now superior to my old boss, just in a different company - so, sometimes, one door closes but other opportunities pop up when you don't expect.

However, my health deteriorated and I took my work stress home - I also was grinding my teeth whilst asleep at night and have had to have some expensive dentistry.

So, health and family first - stuff everyone else.

Gussio

welkman wrote:

I do not think my workplace would be at all sympathetic, I have managed to keep this fairly quiet until now.

I suspect that legally your employer has to be sympathetic.

rick_chasey

rjsterry wrote:

This might be useful

http://teachersupport.info/mental-health/Advice.php

Your employers have a legal responsibility to ensure your health and welfare - it doesn't sound as though they are meeting that responsibility. If/when you end up taking time off, it is their fault that the students' education will suffer, due to under resourcing, not yours.

This.

rjsterry

Gussio wrote:

welkman wrote:

I do not think my workplace would be at all sympathetic, I have managed to keep this fairly quiet until now.

Your employer has to be sympathetic.

FTFY

Kieran_Burns

Gussio wrote:

welkman wrote:

I do not think my workplace would be at all sympathetic, I have managed to keep this fairly quiet until now.

I suspect that legally your employer has to be sympathetic.

You don't think that your workplace would be sympathetic because you are not in the right state of mind to realise that your work place WOULD be sympathetic

You think you are alone, that no one understands, that you have an empty feeling around you, that you feel brittle and short. You procrastinate over the most mundane things, you feel exposed when outside, you feel alone in groups, don't like talking to your friends and find excuses to not do so, you are near to tears constantly, you have no appetite, you are genuinely scared in the workplace.

What quality of teaching do you actually think you are giving to your students at the moment?

You are ill. Accept this and do something about it.

veronese68

Better to take the time now and sort yourself out as others have said. Wasn't there a story last year about a teacher that lost it and attacked a kid. They all said what a stable bloke and good teacher he was, until that point. You really don't want to get to that point.

king_jeffers

welkman wrote:

Thanks for all the replies. I think I need to explain my situation a bit more. I have been told I need to be signed off by the GP but my students, not co workers, would suffer. I am currently teaching four different A Level courses ( I only signed up for 1) and a load of other classes and they would not be able to replace me. The way that A Levels are run would mean the kids would be left without a teacher and they would not get a replacement for my absence and this would most likely cause them to get really bad grades. On top of this they have just announced a week of staff assessment next week and I really am quite close to breaking point. I do not think my workplace would be at all sympathetic, I have managed to keep this fairly quiet until now.

Not really much to add to be honest, try not to push people away I know it can be really hard but having supportive people around you will help. Good luck with your session, first one will be doing a bit of digging just finding out what you hope to achevie from the sessions and begin working on giving you a more equiped tool set to cope with some of the issues you face. You'll be okay, the sessions will help more than the meds. Sessions will bring along all shorts of ups and downs, be sure you have some time out afterwards. Best of luck

welkman

Re: I’m after a bit of advice if anyone can help (work/stres
by Kieran_Burns » Tue Jan 10, 2012 11:49 am


You think you are alone, that no one understands, that you have an empty feeling around you, that you feel brittle and short. You procrastinate over the most mundane things, you feel exposed when outside, you feel alone in groups, don't like talking to your friends and find excuses to not do so, you are near to tears constantly, you have no appetite, you are genuinely scared in the workplace.

This is scarily accurate. Spent most of christmas hiding from freinds/family and the workplace is an incredibly threatening environment, I dont think there has been any genuinly postitive comments since I started (6 months ago).

My wifes family are in education and their attitude has been very much stiff upper lip. They seem to think that mental health issues only happen because you are a weak/bad at your job.

I think I will accept the advice of my GP to be signed off for a week. I can then contact my union for advice as well as the support network linked in some of the posts and hopefully start sorting my life out.

Again thanks so much for your advice.

Fat-Boy-Roubaix

Might be worth holding the fire button on time off until the first CBT? The person you see will get a feel for it. The main issue is never relaxing hence excercise really does help use some up, and learning some techniques to relax.

rjsterry

welkman wrote:

Re: I’m after a bit of advice if anyone can help (work/stres
by Kieran_Burns » Tue Jan 10, 2012 11:49 am


You think you are alone, that no one understands, that you have an empty feeling around you, that you feel brittle and short. You procrastinate over the most mundane things, you feel exposed when outside, you feel alone in groups, don't like talking to your friends and find excuses to not do so, you are near to tears constantly, you have no appetite, you are genuinely scared in the workplace.

This is scarily accurate. Spent most of christmas hiding from freinds/family and the workplace is an incredibly threatening environment, I dont think there has been any genuinly postitive comments since I started (6 months ago).

My wifes family are in education and their attitude has been very much stiff upper lip. They seem to think that mental health issues only happen because you are a weak/bad at your job.

I think I will accept the advice of my GP to be signed off for a week. I can then contact my union for advice as well as the support network linked in some of the posts and hopefully start sorting my life out.

Again thanks so much for your advice.

They are at best misinformed.

king_jeffers

Fat-Boy-Roubaix wrote:

Might be worth holding the fire button on time off until the first CBT? The person you see will get a feel for it. The main issue is never relaxing hence excercise really does help use some up, and learning some techniques to relax.

Agree, its really hard to come back after taking time off. I had two weeks off which turned into six months. It only makes it harder to go back, I would really wait until the session if you can.

DonDaddyD

rjsterry wrote:

Gussio wrote:

welkman wrote:

I do not think my workplace would be at all sympathetic, I have managed to keep this fairly quiet until now.

Your employer has to be sympathetic.

FTFY

No, it's the public sector, legally his employer has to be sympathetic.

From what I'm reading if your stress levels were revealed to your employer and they did nothing to provide support. Then assuming you could prove the link between your current poor health and work they would in fact be liable. (This being a public sector school).

I don't think your the type to sue. I'm just pointing out how close to the line you are. The support is there for you and the advice in this thread has been stella.

The real answer is that you need to take the leap in whatever direction is positive for you. However to take the leap you need to put yourself first.

Ask yourself:

"What is it you really want?"

"How are you going to reasonable achieve that without putting yourself at risk?"

rjsterry

FWIW, I don't think that liability is limited to the public sector.

coopster_the_1st

The first thing that springs to mind about this is:

If you do not look after yourself, you cannot look after others.

You have to put yourself first for the good of your long term health.

Is the students education really more important than your long term health? They can retake their course in the worse case scenario. You may never recover from the effects that the stress has on your health