Friday QT: why are men expected to pay £1k +

Gallywomack

Yeah, free booze and lots of it is the way to go if you really want your guests to enjoy the wedding. We got married in my old school (it's a reasonably posh one in fairness), which was cheap as chips to hire. We 'sourced' the wine from some friends who work at M&S, it was on special offer and with their staff discount as well it came to about £2 a bottle. The other booze we picked up cheap on various special offers in the months leading up to the wedding, plus one of the wife's cousins sorted out a couple of kegs as a wedding present. For the meal I seem to recall we put 10 bottles on each table, which worked out at over a bottle per person in most cases.

A venue with no booze serving capacity of its own (like a school) is definitely the way forward, I reckon. It's amazing how cheaply you can lay on enough booze to get 100+ people seriously trolleyed. We had shootloads of stuff left over, too. And everyone will have an excellent time, and be glad that they're not paying over the odds to buy drinks from the bar (which for some reason are always tiny and crap at typical wedding venues).

mitchell_inman

When my (now) wife and I went to buy her engagement ring, my credit card was declined (card company's mistake - honest). She had to pay for it on her credit card :oops:

Just had our 20th wedding anniversary - probably about time I paid her back

Stevo_666

Here's one reason why some blokes might spend that much.

el_presidente

I got married in Las Vegas, best decision ever.

SimonAH

I got married in a vineyard in Sussex, reception in the back stone-flagged room of the Anchor in Hartfield. Entertainment was a pianist and we had a massive singalong. Awsome in every respect - and came in under 2K.

We then went travelling all over the continental USA for three weeks.

secretsam

clarkey cat wrote:

She would have gone berserk if I'd spent the price of a nice holiday/decent car/etc on a ring.

I'm sure she would.

Well, she would - my missus, bless her, knows the value of money and when it's well spent, and when it's p155ed away being a flash b&stard. It's about priorities. A frippery like a flash ring is not one of ours.

ex-pat scot

1 month's salary. Tops. Never got a present at my wedding though.

MonkeyMonster

ex-pat scot wrote:

1 month's salary. Tops. Never got a present at my wedding though.

apart from a lovely wife of course...

</trollface>

clarkey cat

1 month's salary sounds a bit excessive. Especially if we're talking gross figures.

anonymousblackfg

I bought the diamonds and got a ring maker a friend knew to knock one up, it still cost be near what clarky cat spent and is valued at nearly double that. Scares me to death know she'll just loose it down the sink or drop on a bus or someother disaster.

meanredspider

Costco. Bought ring there which they claim would retail at twice the price and had it valued (with no hints) at jeweller who did, in fact, value it at more than twice what I paid. You can get away with half a month's salary...

davmaggs

Greg66 wrote:

MonkeyMonster wrote:

On an engagment ring?
wondered what others thoughts were on this particular topic...

Isn't t supposed to be one month's salary? Or perhaps two if you're American?

The short answer that diamonds aren't cheap, and unless you want your fiancee to have something that looks like it fell off the corner of a proper-sized stone, that everyone has to squint to see, and that makes her the object of sympathy amongst her mates, you're stumping up the cash.

That comes from an old marketing campaign & is based on hot air. The real value of the ring in scrap is tiny so you are binning thousands. Diamonds also have no real value.

Tungsten carbide rings are superb imitations of platinum. Wish I'd known that.

greg66_tri_v2.0

davmaggs wrote:

Diamonds also have no real value.

Really? On the basis that the value of an object is what someone will pay for it, I'd love to know the location of the market where no one is prepared to pay anything for a diamond.

If you don't want to let on, don't worry. I'd like a two carat E or better, VVS1 or better, emerald cut stone please. GIA certificated. £20 should cover it; get yourself a sarnie, a coffee and a newspaper with the change, my good man!

NGale

I didn't get an engagement ring from Jake on account of the fact I have a habit of losing expensive items, usually somewhere in a field on a training weekend! (I have lost two mobile phones at Cearwent training ground now !)

Instead I got a watch as an engagement present which is actually more useful.

Wedding ring wise, mine will be made to order. Jake isn't having a wedding ring as in his job it will spend more time in his pocket or at home than it would on his finger. Never mind saves a few quid

msmancunia

Well, you can get a big flash diamond that isn't great quality, or you could get a small one that's almost perfect, but the really really really expensive ones are the ones that are both. But me? I'd be happy with whatever I was given, as long as the sentiment was there. I just need to find a bloke first *puts big pants on, drinks white wine and opens Bridget Jones' Diary*.

*sighs*.

davmaggs

Greg66 wrote:

davmaggs wrote:

Diamonds also have no real value.

Really? On the basis that the value of an object is what someone will pay for it, I'd love to know the location of the market where no one is prepared to pay anything for a diamond.

If you don't want to let on, don't worry. I'd like a two carat E or better, VVS1 or better, emerald cut stone please. GIA certificated. £20 should cover it; get yourself a sarnie, a coffee and a newspaper with the change, my good man!

Too much to write for a cycling forum, and frankly no need to believe me. Take all your certifications & try & sell a second hand high street ring . You'll get pennies on the pound.

The diamond is worth very little, the cutting is what costs. De Beers stock piles to keep prices up, but fundamentally diamonds are not rare or hard to obtain.

allezoops

davmaggs wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

davmaggs wrote:

Diamonds also have no real value.

Really? On the basis that the value of an object is what someone will pay for it, I'd love to know the location of the market where no one is prepared to pay anything for a diamond.

If you don't want to let on, don't worry. I'd like a two carat E or better, VVS1 or better, emerald cut stone please. GIA certificated. £20 should cover it; get yourself a sarnie, a coffee and a newspaper with the change, my good man!

Too much to write for a cycling forum, and frankly no need to believe me. Take all your certifications & try & sell a second hand high street ring . You'll get pennies on the pound.

The diamond is worth very little, the cutting is what costs. De Beers stock piles to keep prices up, but fundamentally diamonds are not rare or hard to obtain.

They are pretty though! I spent about £3.5k to mount a diamond my wife liked in to a ring, I quite enjoyed saving up and paying it off month by month. Her wedding ring: platinum with 7 small stones in it, my wedding ring: silver.

My wedding outfit cost a lot more than hers though, her dress was about £200, my kilt with all the trimmings £1k

Lost my ring in Afghan as well (it wasn't Thursday) and the jeweller replaced it for free.

Allezoops

velocestrapture

B/F and I have been talking about getting hitched sometime soonish. I really think that he should spend at least a months salary on a a couple of shiny hoops and a lump of carbon for me, but the soppy git seems intent on buying a ring instead.

Personally, I'm not bothered about having a ring at all, but he is more of a traditionalist than me. I would feel uncomfortable if he did spend a whole month's salary on a ring. There are far more useful things to spend money on.

lost_in_thought

Yeah, I think it's kinda stupid tbh, this ring obsession. I almost never wear jewellery, and so think that dropping a few grand on it is a ridiculous waste of money. And the inevitable diamond-waving contest is also rather sad. Does it mean they love you more? No.

I wouldn't expect a man to wear a ring, but then I'm a bit of a traditionalist, so it'd be a plain wedding band for me if anything, and that's all thanks. Oh, and I don't like gold. Silver, or hell, steel would be just fine.

roger_merriman

I probably did spend between a month and two on a Engagment ring, it was more that it was time and place than cost per say.

But you really do have to do what you want not what is expected of you.

I really wanted a wedding rIng did need resizing a few times, as got worryingly loose on cold MTB rides etc. I'd still need to take it off for any winter sea swimming.

NGale

after much discussion it has been decided that a cyclo cross bike cannot be used as an alternative to a wedding ring.

*sighs* well I did try

Stone Glider

Spent all I could afford on the engagement ring, a plain ( but heavy) gold band for a wedding ring and a very expensive (hand made in Hatton Garden) eternity ring of diamonds and sapphires. I don't wear jewellery, sensitive skin. Hope the ex got a decent price for them. I suspect not :roll:

This stuff has always had two prices, buying or selling.

edit ; spelling

clarkey cat

Just spend what you're comfortable spending. I think that's a pretty good rule of thumb, whether its 4 hundred, 4 grand or 40 grand - and dont worry about whether someone has a more expensive ring than you - or indeed a less expensive one.

stuaff

A moot point for me (been single my entire life and always will be), but I wouldn't need to stick some ginormous rock on my (purely hypothetical) significant other's finger for her to know she was The One for me. Because I'd tell her through word and deed. I've never worn jewellery of any kind, I wouldn't start because I was married. Anyway, I'd think '£***? Wouldn't you rather have a bike to the same value?' Though, of course, if she was The One, of course she would. As long as it wasn't better than mine

rolf_f

Presumably the suggestion of a carbon fibre ring (light, super high performance technical ring) won't wash?

Or even "of course it's very thin and the diamond is very small - that's for improved performance; carrying a heavy diamond around will just slow you down".

Meh - why even try; you'll get it wrong whatever

Libraio

After I asked my GF to be my wife back in August I told she could pick out a nice ring but she told me she'd rather have double glazing in our flat. So yes, Dutch is the way to go when getting married . Most people don't bother with engagement rings here anyway, only the ones into a) showing off how much they earn or b) people who worship the Americans and the American way of life.

HebdenBiker

I didn't spend anywhere near £1000 on an engagement ring for my wife. My wife doesn't care about flashy jewellery. If she did, she wouldn't be my wife!

Agent57

MonkeyMonster wrote:

On an engagment ring?

Are they?

For my wife's engagement ring, she wore one of my silver rings that I used to wear. She had to wear it on her thumb, as it was too big to stay on her finger. So that was about £20. For her wedding ring, we had the same ring melted down and made into a smaller ring. That cost £40.