Bestest Put down ever......

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  • veronese68
    veronese68 Posts: 27,855
    The art of effective parenting in action
    Unfortunately it's my own fault. They are very well behaved children in most ways, but as I have a tendency to be a smart aris it tends to come back and bite me on it.
    Kinesis Pro6
    Marin Nail Trail
    Cotic Solaris
  • Stalexcal
    Stalexcal Posts: 25
    I witnessed both of these

    When Rob Newman was partnering David Baddiel in standup comedy.....
    A rather drunk and loud heckler stood up and made some inaudible rude comments.

    Rob say "Listen mate, if you are going to heckle, it is best not to have a speech impediment!!" ta da!

    in a local pub which was heaving on gold cup day.
    Pissed punter chatting up rather pretty & tarty barmaid and obviously not taking no for an answer.

    She leans over as says (reasonably loudly) "Listen, I've already got one c**t in my knickers, why would i want another!!" ouch!!
    There are 10 types of people who understand binary...those that do and those that don't.
  • Confusedboy
    Confusedboy Posts: 287
    I once told a manager in the Royal Mail sorting office I worked in that the main difference between me and him was that, 'on me, the sh*t comes out of my *rse'. Took early retirement not long after that, but I'm still proud of it.
  • clarkey cat
    clarkey cat Posts: 3,641
    Yelling across the street at a couple of burds on a night out:

    "ALRIGHT SUGAR!!!!"

    The fit (ish) turns around.

    "NOT YOU - THE OTHER LUMP"


    Okay, its immature but I was only 40 at the time.
    Dolan Mythos
  • Tonymufc
    Tonymufc Posts: 1,016
    EKE_38BPM wrote:
    Who said that first is disputed, but it has been around for donkey's years.

    Sticking to a sporting theme, in a baseball film (I can't remember which), the catcher is attempting to distract the batter and says "Hows your wife and my kids?"
    Not a put down, but a great line.

    And since I'm in a baseball film mood, in Mr Baseball Tom Selleck attempts to chat up a young Japanese woman with the line "Would you like to go for a free moustache ride?"
    It didn't work.

    I believe that was "Major League".

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