Dating/Man Advice Part 2......Yes its time to take the pi$$!

MissBint37

For anyone who remembers the dating advice thread of last year, this is similarly bad!!! In fact, I think I will name it as such.....
This is one of those things I should not be asking you lot advice on...but, for amusement as much as anything else I shall throw it out there.
Men, I am totally and utterly pathetic with them, particularly understanding what the hell they are thinking. I have not one but 2 issues at the moment which I would like decoding ...pretty please?????!!!

Man 1:

Been out with a few times, very funny and easy to chat to, keeps arranging to meet up with me again but nothing ever happened. So, last week, I jumped on him. The good news is he didn’t throw me off but then he soon went to sitting back at the other side of my sofa. Hmm. Although he did give me a goodbye kiss when he left. Next time I saw him, same thing, I had to jump on him again....and again, afterwards, sat far away from me no post kiss hug or anything.
So being the idiot I am, I text him and asked him what was wrong with him (bad move I know) and got some apologetic message saying he did want to be jumped on but he was just rubbish with this kind of thing. Now I am a wuss as far as this stuff goes, and I usually don’t have a clue if someone is interested until they jump on top of me, but, once they do, I am fine. This boy, has been jumped on a couple of times and is still a social retard!

My thoughts, if he is still this bad, is it really going to get any better? He is a nice guy, but just seems to lack that bit of something so I’m not sure about him. What are your thoughts?

Man 2:

Is HOT, and is a friend of a friend who I have recently got to know a little from working at Xscape. We have been trying to arrange sharing a lift on a Thursday evening when I work. No way I would have thought he would ever be interested in me, because not only is he hot, he has many muscles and has a good job and isn’t a total dropout like most of the idiots I usually end up with.
Anyway, he started coming up to me and giving me hugs a couple of weeks ago, to which I obliged of course!!! Then I saw him in the car park and he managed to get his back protector tangled up somehow and couldn’t get it off, so he called me over and told me I was going to have to help him, which of course, I did.....and enjoyed doing..... But, me being a social retard, ran away as soon as I had freed him.
Thinking I made a fool of myself, when I got home I apologised for running off without saying goodbye on facebook chat, citing the excuse that I had to go check if there was anyone on my lesson. A 3 hour chat came of this about random crap then he turned the conversation to how he had had a 3some, and asked if I had ever had one or wanted one. I skirted round all the questions he kept asking me but he asked me if I wanted to sleep with him. To which I replied that I thought he was hot but I don’t just jump into bed with people. I then made the excuse I needed to go to bed. I got a text the following morning apologising for if what he had said had been too much. I told him not to worry about it but he kept texting me all day but it was nothing suggestive just random stuff. He has gone on holiday now for a while.
Thoughts on this one too please???

Ok I’m done now, if you made it through all that feel free to laugh at me and my crapness!!! Hey, it’s been a while since I’ve given you any real information to rip the pi$$ out of me for!!!

sheepsteeth

man 1 = gay

man 2 = just wants to fuck you

simples.

MissBint37

Yes I pretty much figured about man 2.
I'm sure my last ex was gay....but he never admitted to it. If man 1 is gay, why tell me he wants jumping on then?!

Where is the taking the pi$$ by the way

jay12

sheepsteeth wrote:

man 1 = gay

man 2 = just wants to fark you

simples.

+potato

Tartanyak

Man 1 = Slightly scared of you, but wants to.

Man 2 = Wants to.

Easy, no?



This all sounds very familiar though. Without the jumping. When men do that, it occasionally ends up in court Then come the lynchings and the fire.

Tartanyak

Is it taking the piss when the target is that easy? No effort or imagination needed when fed that much ammo.

thekickingmule

Man 1 = Bisexual (and therefore gay)

Man 2 = a) Needs an answer about you having a 3some
b) Clearly wants some MissBint lovin'. Will it turn into more? Who knows...
c) Could be Bi-Curious (and therefore gay)

jay12

MissBint37 wrote:

This boy, has been jumped on a couple of times

thats just wrong

Mancunianfightingcat

This threesome.....how many people in it will be prodders and how many will be prodees?

This is the first question I'd be asking!

cooldad

Man1=Andy
Man2=Hopeful

Kaise

Man 1> shy, low confidence and needs to MTFU and get on with it

Man 2> thinks you are up for some mclovin, but is testing the water and then has backed off (classic as now you're thinking about jumpin on him)

i'd steer clear of no1 as he will end up as a pain in the ass later, no2 see how it goes, flirt a bit and see what heppens!

men are not complicated, we like;

1. Bacon
2. Beer
3. Boobs
4. Bikes

(in no particular order!)

Gazlar

Guy 2 is pretty much solved, eye candy and he knows it, and knows he can use it to get what he wants.

Guy 1 is a bit more complex, obviously sensitive and it could be that he is just shy and doesn't know how to react. I remember as a young guy making a right hash of seeing someone as they were, in my opinion way out of my league, so I ( and yes for those that know me, I) went really reserved and quiet, when normally I'm a gobby tw@t. My advice is if you've got nowt better to do and you think there's something to work on, then see him again and maybe even discuss the problem with him and in fact even use it as an aid by saying things like "you really don't have to by shy with me ". See if you can make him comfortable with the situation. If it continues to be a problem then send supersonic, I mean guy 1 packing as there's only so much effort you can put in without it being reciprocated

Thewaylander

As above,

Guy 1: Bit of a pansey. possibly Gay definately needs to MTFU

Guy 2: Just interested in seeing what he can bone, and what he can get away doing while boning :P

Simples

CraigXXL

Man 1 = Wasn't sure of his sexuality but after nearly being raped by a sex starved Miss Bint now knows for sure he prefers to bite down on the pillow.

Man 2 = Likes looking at himself in mirrors and would like to meet someone similar. Miss Bint looks like she might know of someone similar hence the suggestion of a 3some. End result is Miss Bint sat on the edge of a rocking bed watching Eastenders because the other 2 have shown her no interest.

Tartanyak

^

Har

Where did you learn to read minds so well?

Mancunianfightingcat

Man 2 sounds like a big headed be11end and probably has 1000+ friends on facebook which tells you a tale in itself!

Man 1 sounds like I was when my missus prowled on me at uni (shy, nervous and inexperienced), I eventually gave in to her and 15 years later we're still happy and married now etc etc!

Depends what you want from this, I guess, someone to bounce on when HE wants you to, or someone to have a relationship with!

Tartanyak

This is getting more complex by the post.

mak3m

MissBint37 wrote:

Men, I am totally and utterly pathetic with them, particularly understanding what the hell they are thinking.

9 times out of 10 we are wondering how quickly we could get your bra off

the other time we are thinking who would win in a fight chewbacca or chuck norris

simples

stop analysing men scratch the surface and theres nothing there, biggest turn off ever is when you are lying next to a bint and she asks

What are you thinking

Kaise

mak3m wrote:

What are you thinking

+potato crop

CraigXXL

and for some reason when you say "Nothing" they don't believe you even though it's is possible and well practiced for men to do so.

angry_bird

mak3m wrote:

MissBint37 wrote:

Men, I am totally and utterly pathetic with them, particularly understanding what the hell they are thinking.

9 times out of 10 we are wondering how quickly we could get your bra off

the other time we are thinking who would win in a fight chewbacca or chuck norris

simples

stop analysing men scratch the surface and theres nothing there, biggest turn off ever is when you are lying next to a bint and she asks

What are you thinking

Chuck Norris, easily.

Chewbacca and The Stig would be a good fight.

Kitty

Tartanyak wrote:

Man 1 = Slightly scared of you, but wants to.

Man 2 = Wants to.

This, I'd go for man one. But man two might be worth keeping talking too, you nee to find out if he just wants sex or a relationship too.


Now, may I add to this that I hate you, you hae two guys to pick from whereas I have zero interest! Damn you!

MissBint37

mak3m wrote:

9 times out of 10 we are wondering how quickly we could get your bra off

the other time we are thinking who would win in a fight chewbacca or chuck norris

Chuck Norris....obviously. Is it time to bring back the Chuck Norris thread yet?

angry_bird

MissBint37 wrote:

mak3m wrote:

9 times out of 10 we are wondering how quickly we could get your bra off

the other time we are thinking who would win in a fight chewbacca or chuck norris

Chuck Norris....obviously. Is it time to bring back the Chuck Norris thread yet?

mak3m

Do you realise what you've started :shock:

MissBint37

Kitty wrote:

Now, may I add to this that I hate you, you hae two guys to pick from whereas I have zero interest! Damn you!

Has been a long time coming though, my ex boyfriend was gay (really), I then relied on a friend with benefits who lived in Worcester so I rarely saw him, meaning in the last 2 years I can count the times I have actually got any on one hand!!!

Gazlar

I think the other thing to remember is, no matter what your own opinion of yourself, on the face of it because of the outdoor sports, piercings and demeanour you come across as quite a confident domineering character, the fact that you keep jumping him does nothing but assuage that idea of you. In your caseyou see dating as similar to dancing the Argentinian tango, which you need a dominant man to lead, otherwise the dance, whilst still pleasant will feel fundamentally wrong. You have two options in that case, you need to point out that under that hardened tomboy exterior lies a fragile girl that needs to be embraced by a strong decisive man or you decide that you are happy to lead and he is happy to be led and be comfortable that it's not a sign of disinterest but more sexual naivety.

thekickingmule

Gazlar I think your Mrs is hacking into your account again

CraigXXL

Gazlar wrote:

I think the other thing to remember is, no matter what your own opinion of yourself, on the face of it because of the outdoor sports, piercings and demeanour you come across as quite a confident domineering character, the fact that you keep jumping him does nothing but assuage that idea of you. In your caseyou see dating as similar to dancing the Argentinian tango, which you need a dominant man to lead, otherwise the dance, whilst still pleasant will feel fundamentally wrong. You have two options in that case, you need to point out that under that hardened tomboy exterior lies a fragile girl that needs to be embraced by a strong decisive man or you decide that you are happy to lead and he is happy to be led and be comfortable that it's not a sign of disinterest but more sexual naivety.

:?:

angry_bird

Gazlar wrote:

I think the other thing to remember is, no matter what your own opinion of yourself, on the face of it because of the outdoor sports, piercings and demeanour you come across as quite a confident domineering character, the fact that you keep jumping him does nothing but assuage that idea of you. In your caseyou see dating as similar to dancing the Argentinian tango, which you need a dominant man to lead, otherwise the dance, whilst still pleasant will feel fundamentally wrong. You have two options in that case, you need to point out that under that hardened tomboy exterior lies a fragile girl that needs to be embraced by a strong decisive man or you decide that you are happy to lead and he is happy to be led and be comfortable that it's not a sign of disinterest but more sexual naivety.

:shock:

Has he been kidnapped? Is this some sort of an imposter? Maybe he wears a casio watch...

mak3m

MissBint37 wrote:

Kitty wrote:

I can count the times I have actually got any on one hand!!!

i always use two hands one for me tother on string

mak3m

Angry Bird wrote:

MissBint37 wrote:

mak3m wrote:

9 times out of 10 we are wondering how quickly we could get your bra off

the other time we are thinking who would win in a fight chewbacca or chuck norris

Chuck Norris....obviously. Is it time to bring back the Chuck Norris thread yet?

mak3m

Do you realise what you've started :shock:

i wasnt thinking honest