One sentence cycling letters
SamWise72
Posts: 453
I'll start
Dear Sustrans
Putting a blue sign on a narrow, potholed pavement by a 60mph road does not make it safe for cyclists to share with schoolchildren and mothers with double buggies
Lots of love
Sam
Dear Sustrans
Putting a blue sign on a narrow, potholed pavement by a 60mph road does not make it safe for cyclists to share with schoolchildren and mothers with double buggies
Lots of love
Sam
http://www.velochocolate.co.uk Special Treats for Lifestyle Cyclists
From FCN from 8 (road bike, beard, bag, work clothes) to 15 (on my Brompton)
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Comments
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Dear South Norfolk Council,
Covering a pot-hole riddled road with a new layer of chippings does not constitute an adequate fix.
Cuddles,
Hot OrangeSummer: 2012 Trek Madone 3.5
Winter: 2013 Trek Crockett 50 -
To the MD, Kier, Sheffield
As I cycle around Sheffield - sometimes with my boy on the back - your hundreds of white van drivers consistently give lots of room and drive very sensibly whilst overtaking etc.
Yours, in astonishment and happiness.....
(No-one was expecting THAT where they???)0 -
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Dear HatBeard
your oyster travelcard expired yesterday, time to MTFU and cycle in 5 days a week.
Hugs & Kisses
HatbeardHat + Beard0 -
Dear British Gas Van On Tower Bridge Road This Morning
Quite what you hoped to achieve by accelerating like mad from stationary to overtake me in the outside lane before jamming your brakes and cutting in on me because traffic was stopped 50m from where you started from, I don't know.
Much bewilderment
Puff1997 Gary Fisher Big Sur
2009 Scott Spark 60
2010 Ghost 5000
2011 Commencal Ramones AL1
2012 Commencal Meta AM10 -
Dear motorists of Bristol,
Your frequently courteous and patient driving is much appreciated.
Kind regards,
WaddlieRules are for fools.0 -
Dear Surrey County Council
Thank you for marking all the pot holes with white & blue spray paint, especially for cyclists to use as a reference point when we are climbing out of them!
Yours etc.
Frustrated, fractious & fractured from FrimleyWould get down on the drops more if the gut wasn't in the way!0 -
Dear Motorists of Stockport,
I really appreciate you all giving me justification for feeling massively smug this morning as I cruised past you all sitting stationary in your funny little traffic jams.
Tchao,
shm_uk0 -
Dear Company I work for;
I believe that a relocation of our UK office to Bermuda from South Wales would result in a considerable increase in morale and make my shorts fit right into the business dress code.
Many thanksFCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
Litespeed L3 for Strava bits
Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.0 -
hatbeard wrote:Dear HatBeard
your oyster travelcard expired yesterday, time to MTFU and cycle in 5 days a week.
Hugs & Kisses
Hatbeard
YEY!!! welcome to the full time commuter brigade. DO NOT get another travel card. you'll not regret it. if you need inspiration or a buddy on a dark winters morning give me or him in doors a shout0 -
Dear WVM,
I apologise for pulling out in front of you this morning, I really didn't see you and probably shouldn't have stuck my middle finger up at you after you beeped me.
(ah, good to get that off my chest)FCN 9 || FCN 50 -
Dear lewisham council,
Ta very much for resurfacing the bit of road going south out of catford, making it lovely and silky smooth rather than akin to the surface of the moon.
lots of love
James
(PS Fancy doing something about the bit going from Deptford to Lewisham? the First 50 metres are a fuffing nightmare)0 -
Dear Bike Ninjas,
Get some f*cking lights on, you c*nts.
The Voice of Reason,
Lancaster0 -
Dear Samwise,
What a blinding idea for a thread, keep up the goodwork and forumites, keep 'em coming.
Regards
EKEFCN 3: Raleigh Record Ace fixie-to be resurrected sometime in the future
FCN 4: Planet X Schmaffenschmack 2- workhorse
FCN 9: B Twin Vitamin - winter commuter/loan bike for trainees
I'm hungry. I'm always hungry!0 -
Dear trendy recent-single-speed converts in London
It was a cheap, sh177y bike when it was made back in the 80s, the fact that it's made of (ropey) steel does not change this.
And you're supposed to stop for red lights, you ****s.
Yours,
SecretSam
It's just a hill. Get over it.0 -
Dear Maryhill Road Cyclist,
Honestly, its not sensible to have a RED front light.
Regards,
Wallace"Encyclopaedia is a fetish for very small bicycles"0 -
Dear gresham St cyclist
It's not sensible to have a white BACK light
Good luck
Gregoire0 -
dear cyclist on road which I can't currently remember the name of.
running flashing white AND red lights on your handlebars is just confusing as hell. for the love of god why?
lots of love
Hat B. Eard .Hat + Beard0 -
dear rear light,
stop turning yourself off whilst I'm going along, it's hard to notice when you do so and I don't like the idea of dying horribly.
many thanks and kind regards,
me0 -
Dear alphabet,
maybe if you weren't always turning your back on me I wouldn't have to play these silly games just to get your attention.
toodle pip
your rear lightHat + Beard0 -
Dear God
Please leave the wind as it currently is so that I can shave at least 20 minutes off my PB going home tonight.
Yo dude.
C. In B.0 -
Dear God,
Please ignor CiB's letter and change the wind direction because I'm fed up with battling a headwind whichever direction I travel in.
yours,
tired cyclopsbiker legs0 -
SimonAH wrote:Dear Company I work for;
I believe that a relocation of our UK office to Bermuda from South Wales would result in a considerable increase in morale and make my shorts fit right into the business dress code.
Many thanks
well, "hybrid" bike would then involve wings....0 -
Wallace1492 wrote:Dear Maryhill Road Cyclist,
Honestly, its not sensible to have a RED front light.
Regards,
Wallace
I thought red light was the predominant colour in that area?0 -
Look God.
I asked first, I was here before CyclopsBiker and have got more posts anyway, so obviously the wind stays, right? Swap it round tomorrow if you like. How's your boy these days anyway?
CiB.0 -
Dear God,
I don't think CiB is playing by the rules, the post title afterall is "One sentence cycling letters" and his last post was 3 sentences so please therefore ignore his posts and agree that I win with regards to the wind.
yours,
playing by the title of the post Cyclopsbiker.0 -
Fair point Cyclops. Enjoy your wind.
Dear Farmer Giles
Please put a few of those humungously large straw bales in your gateways so that when I pass a gate that follows a long tall hedgerow, I'm not blown into the middle of next Tuesday by the sudden gust that blows through said gate.
Much appreciated
C.0 -
Dear Farmer Giles,
Please kindly do ask CiB asks, he'll really appreciate it, especially with the headwind he's going to be battling against
tar,
CB0 -
Dear Motorist,
Please do not park in the cycling lane (even if it is outside your house and does not have a solid white line).Giant XTC Pro-Carbon
Cove Hustler
Planet X Pro-Carbon0 -
Dear Beaver Maintenance,
Very impressed with the name of your company and van livery.
Your
gtvlusso0