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How do you keep "Steven" warm?

danowatdanowat Posts: 2,877
edited October 2010 in Road beginners
I've had this issue before, and never came (sic) up with a good soloution......

I commute 17 miles each way to work, when the weather gets a bit cooler (i.e. today, 7C) I find "Steven" gets very cold, obviously 1 hours worth of riding in low(ish) temps means he is quite exposed to the wind chill, and as I ride in cycling shorts, I go commando, so between the pad in the shorts and him, theres not much insulation.

Any pearls of wisdom?, other than wrap a sock round it........
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  • lol thats a funny name to name your thing lol, you could always run him under a hot tap when you get to work!
    getting faster, fitter, and skinnier by the day!
  • hopper1hopper1 Posts: 4,708
    Where the fcuk did you pluck 'Steven' from!?....
    No!... no!... I don't really want to know :shock:

    You should wear tights in the winter, to protect your knees etc (& Steven!).
    Tights will be thicker, or have a windproof section on the front. :wink:


    PS. Steven sounds cute!... How could you call your c0ck by a cute name... :lol::lol:
    Start with a budget, finish with a mortgage!
  • danowatdanowat Posts: 2,877
    I dunno :lol: , when you have kids, you tend to call things light hearted names!!!, the full term is "Steven and the twins"

    I've got tights, infact I wore them last winter time, but still had the same issue, maybe I need some sort of wind proof bid that covers the area......
  • windproof willy warmer?
    Say... That's a nice bike..
    Trax T700 with Lew Racing Pro VT-1 ;-)
  • danowatdanowat Posts: 2,877
    Do Wiggle do them? or should I be look more towards the Ann Summers type of establishment :wink:
  • rick_chaseyrick_chasey Posts: 50,121 Lives Here
    Those condoms with that 'tingle' stuff that feels like deep heat.
  • ChrisszChrissz Posts: 727
    Have you looked at Gore Windstopper tights? I just got myself a set and they're fantastic! Unfortunately, as it was a balmy 7c I cooked in them a little towards the end but they should be perfect for propper chilly willy starts :)
  • AidanRAidanR Posts: 1,142
    I just pee a little every 5 minutes. Works a charm.
    Bike lover and part-time cyclist.
  • ProssPross Posts: 23,936
    Do you have 'Steven' tucked down? If so he should be protected by the pad of your shorts but I know a lot of cyclists take the exhibitionist route and leave him up above on display but where he'll be susceptible to the cold. Also, when cold the heat is cut off from extremities so it may not be Steven himself that's getting cold but that the heat is being diverted elsewhere.
  • danowatdanowat Posts: 2,877
    Yeah, hes tucked out the way, its just the wind chill that seems to be an issue.

    Interesting point about heat being diverted, I am diabetic, so my circulation isn't great.
  • matsmats Posts: 98
    is this just a ploy so that if you get caught with a pair of football socks down your skiddies you can in all honesty say " but a bloke on Bike Radar said......."?
  • ZaimZaim Posts: 28
    Sounds like you're not getting warm enough, cycle harder.

    Seriously is it just your schlong that is getting cold? I can't think why because it's pretty much in the middle of your body between two muscles that are pushing hard and your sitting down slightly bent over, no? During a ride mine pretty much retreats into my stomach, the screams my wife gives when she sees it in that state (I think this may be too much information).

    Last winter when it got cold even with tights on I started wearing yesterdays pants as well. Felt a bit wierd for a while but soon forgot about it.
    Boardman Hybrid Pro - FCN 7
    Ibis Mojo SL
    Orange P7 Pro Singlespeed
    Klein Pulse Race
  • AlibranAlibran Posts: 370
    Those fluffy socks they sell in Primark are lovely and warm, and come in a variety of sizes, so I'm sure you could find something to fit "Steven".
  • rodgers73rodgers73 Posts: 2,626
    My wife has been calling it "Andrew" for years! :(
  • danowat wrote:
    Do Wiggle do them? or should I be look more towards the Ann Summers type of establishment :wink:

    perhaps " Steven and the twins" would like a fancy dress elephant costume for the ride to work!!
  • rodgers73 wrote:
    My wife has been calling it "Andrew" for years! :(
    obviously an Ex! did you ever meet him?
  • danowat
    17m - then surely a quick BJ from the misses before you venture out each day will get all the blood flowing and generate enough heat to last over that distance without frostbite setting in?

    sounds like a great excuse - if there was ever one needed !
  • rodgers73rodgers73 Posts: 2,626
    Mad Roadie wrote:
    rodgers73 wrote:
    My wife has been calling it "Andrew" for years! :(
    obviously an Ex! did you ever meet him?

    My last two bosses were called Andrew. Hmm.... :?
  • Peddle Up!Peddle Up! Posts: 2,040
    Pop him somewhere warm and cosy when you get home. :wink:
    Purveyor of "up" :)
  • danowatdanowat Posts: 2,877
    LOL :lol:

    Serious reply first, positioning is a good point, I commute on my hybrid, which is more "sit up and beg" compared to my other bikes.

    Yup, just Steven that gets cold, everything else is fine, might try wearing some pants, or my missus has these really thin "invisible VPL" lycra shortie panties that might be good, wonder if I am comfortable enough with my sexuality for that.......failing that, I'll try sticking a fluffy / football sock on it, or invest in an elephant "pouch".

    As for the BJ, nice idea, but she's not a morning person, plus she's got broncitus at the moment!!
  • When you say it gets cold what do you mean. It is normal for the penis to shrivel up and almost disappear when exercising as the blood is needed elsewhere in the body. The penis may feel cold but i can assure you that its blood supply will never become critically low!

    If you have an engorged penis then the blood is being wasted and you are not working hard enough.
  • rick_chaseyrick_chasey Posts: 50,121 Lives Here
    When you say it gets cold what do you mean. It is normal for the penis to shrivel up and almost disappear when exercising as the blood is needed elsewhere in the body. The penis may feel cold but i can assure you that its blood supply will never become critically low!

    If you have an engorged penis then the blood is being wasted and you are not working hard enough.

    So basically, if you're massive, you're losing out on critical performance?

    That explains it then......
  • steven? are you talking about your c0ck?

    you no-folks are well weird!
    'dont forget lads, one evertonian is worth twenty kopites'
  • I assure you 'Steven' is quite normal for Norfolk
    Cylon cats - have no plan
  • GarzGarz Posts: 1,155
    When you say it gets cold what do you mean. It is normal for the penis to shrivel up and almost disappear when exercising as the blood is needed elsewhere in the body. The penis may feel cold but i can assure you that its blood supply will never become critically low!

    If you have an engorged penis then the blood is being wasted and you are not working hard enough.

    +1

    Also I find tights tend to squash up steven and the twins with the pad making it rather cramped down there.
  • ChrisszChrissz Posts: 727
    Tuck 'em all up out of the way - I sat on one of the twins once when setting off at a set of traffic lights - never again :!: :oops:
  • I just tuck the end of mine in my sock. :wink:
    Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel
  • The trouble with doing that, d87heaven, is that if you see a pretty girl you end up kicking her in the face! :oops:
  • Does he answer to "Steve" ?
  • Spread tobasco sauce on it, especially on the tip. It won't be cold then :wink:
    Say... That's a nice bike..
    Trax T700 with Lew Racing Pro VT-1 ;-)
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