How do you keep "Steven" warm?

danowat
danowat Posts: 2,877
edited October 2010 in Road beginners
I've had this issue before, and never came (sic) up with a good soloution......

I commute 17 miles each way to work, when the weather gets a bit cooler (i.e. today, 7C) I find "Steven" gets very cold, obviously 1 hours worth of riding in low(ish) temps means he is quite exposed to the wind chill, and as I ride in cycling shorts, I go commando, so between the pad in the shorts and him, theres not much insulation.

Any pearls of wisdom?, other than wrap a sock round it........
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Comments

  • acebobby
    acebobby Posts: 95
    lol thats a funny name to name your thing lol, you could always run him under a hot tap when you get to work!
    getting faster, fitter, and skinnier by the day!
  • hopper1
    hopper1 Posts: 4,389
    Where the fcuk did you pluck 'Steven' from!?....
    No!... no!... I don't really want to know :shock:

    You should wear tights in the winter, to protect your knees etc (& Steven!).
    Tights will be thicker, or have a windproof section on the front. :wink:


    PS. Steven sounds cute!... How could you call your c0ck by a cute name... :lol::lol:
    Start with a budget, finish with a mortgage!
  • danowat
    danowat Posts: 2,877
    I dunno :lol: , when you have kids, you tend to call things light hearted names!!!, the full term is "Steven and the twins"

    I've got tights, infact I wore them last winter time, but still had the same issue, maybe I need some sort of wind proof bid that covers the area......
  • father_jack
    father_jack Posts: 3,509
    windproof willy warmer?
    Say... That's a nice bike..
    Trax T700 with Lew Racing Pro VT-1 ;-)
  • danowat
    danowat Posts: 2,877
    Do Wiggle do them? or should I be look more towards the Ann Summers type of establishment :wink:
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 72,608
    Those condoms with that 'tingle' stuff that feels like deep heat.
    _
  • Chrissz
    Chrissz Posts: 727
    Have you looked at Gore Windstopper tights? I just got myself a set and they're fantastic! Unfortunately, as it was a balmy 7c I cooked in them a little towards the end but they should be perfect for propper chilly willy starts :)
    http://coastalcommando.wordpress.com/
  • AidanR
    AidanR Posts: 1,142
    I just pee a little every 5 minutes. Works a charm.
    Bike lover and part-time cyclist.
  • Pross
    Pross Posts: 40,485
    Do you have 'Steven' tucked down? If so he should be protected by the pad of your shorts but I know a lot of cyclists take the exhibitionist route and leave him up above on display but where he'll be susceptible to the cold. Also, when cold the heat is cut off from extremities so it may not be Steven himself that's getting cold but that the heat is being diverted elsewhere.
  • danowat
    danowat Posts: 2,877
    Yeah, hes tucked out the way, its just the wind chill that seems to be an issue.

    Interesting point about heat being diverted, I am diabetic, so my circulation isn't great.
  • mats
    mats Posts: 94
    is this just a ploy so that if you get caught with a pair of football socks down your skiddies you can in all honesty say " but a bloke on Bike Radar said......."?
  • Zaim
    Zaim Posts: 28
    Sounds like you're not getting warm enough, cycle harder.

    Seriously is it just your schlong that is getting cold? I can't think why because it's pretty much in the middle of your body between two muscles that are pushing hard and your sitting down slightly bent over, no? During a ride mine pretty much retreats into my stomach, the screams my wife gives when she sees it in that state (I think this may be too much information).

    Last winter when it got cold even with tights on I started wearing yesterdays pants as well. Felt a bit wierd for a while but soon forgot about it.
    Boardman Hybrid Pro - FCN 7
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  • Alibran
    Alibran Posts: 370
    Those fluffy socks they sell in Primark are lovely and warm, and come in a variety of sizes, so I'm sure you could find something to fit "Steven".
  • rodgers73
    rodgers73 Posts: 2,626
    My wife has been calling it "Andrew" for years! :(
  • Mad Roadie
    Mad Roadie Posts: 710
    danowat wrote:
    Do Wiggle do them? or should I be look more towards the Ann Summers type of establishment :wink:

    perhaps " Steven and the twins" would like a fancy dress elephant costume for the ride to work!!
  • Mad Roadie
    Mad Roadie Posts: 710
    rodgers73 wrote:
    My wife has been calling it "Andrew" for years! :(
    obviously an Ex! did you ever meet him?
  • Mad Roadie
    Mad Roadie Posts: 710
    danowat
    17m - then surely a quick BJ from the misses before you venture out each day will get all the blood flowing and generate enough heat to last over that distance without frostbite setting in?

    sounds like a great excuse - if there was ever one needed !
  • rodgers73
    rodgers73 Posts: 2,626
    Mad Roadie wrote:
    rodgers73 wrote:
    My wife has been calling it "Andrew" for years! :(
    obviously an Ex! did you ever meet him?

    My last two bosses were called Andrew. Hmm.... :?
  • Peddle Up!
    Peddle Up! Posts: 2,040
    Pop him somewhere warm and cosy when you get home. :wink:
    Purveyor of "up" :)
  • danowat
    danowat Posts: 2,877
    LOL :lol:

    Serious reply first, positioning is a good point, I commute on my hybrid, which is more "sit up and beg" compared to my other bikes.

    Yup, just Steven that gets cold, everything else is fine, might try wearing some pants, or my missus has these really thin "invisible VPL" lycra shortie panties that might be good, wonder if I am comfortable enough with my sexuality for that.......failing that, I'll try sticking a fluffy / football sock on it, or invest in an elephant "pouch".

    As for the BJ, nice idea, but she's not a morning person, plus she's got broncitus at the moment!!
  • kayakerchris
    kayakerchris Posts: 361
    When you say it gets cold what do you mean. It is normal for the penis to shrivel up and almost disappear when exercising as the blood is needed elsewhere in the body. The penis may feel cold but i can assure you that its blood supply will never become critically low!

    If you have an engorged penis then the blood is being wasted and you are not working hard enough.
    www.hand-surgery.co.uk
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  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 72,608
    kayakerchris wrote:
    When you say it gets cold what do you mean. It is normal for the penis to shrivel up and almost disappear when exercising as the blood is needed elsewhere in the body. The penis may feel cold but i can assure you that its blood supply will never become critically low!

    If you have an engorged penis then the blood is being wasted and you are not working hard enough.

    So basically, if you're massive, you're losing out on critical performance?

    That explains it then......
    _
  • fast as fupp
    fast as fupp Posts: 2,277
    steven? are you talking about your c0ck?

    you no-folks are well weird!
    'dont forget lads, one evertonian is worth twenty kopites'
  • sugarbeet
    sugarbeet Posts: 39
    I assure you 'Steven' is quite normal for Norfolk
    Cylon cats - have no plan
  • Garz
    Garz Posts: 1,155
    kayakerchris wrote:
    When you say it gets cold what do you mean. It is normal for the penis to shrivel up and almost disappear when exercising as the blood is needed elsewhere in the body. The penis may feel cold but i can assure you that its blood supply will never become critically low!

    If you have an engorged penis then the blood is being wasted and you are not working hard enough.

    +1

    Also I find tights tend to squash up steven and the twins with the pad making it rather cramped down there.
  • Chrissz
    Chrissz Posts: 727
    Tuck 'em all up out of the way - I sat on one of the twins once when setting off at a set of traffic lights - never again :!: :oops:
    http://coastalcommando.wordpress.com/
  • d87heaven
    d87heaven Posts: 348
    I just tuck the end of mine in my sock. :wink:
    Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel
  • Easyriding
    Easyriding Posts: 56
    The trouble with doing that, d87heaven, is that if you see a pretty girl you end up kicking her in the face! :oops:
  • Loretta Damage
    Loretta Damage Posts: 270
    Does he answer to "Steve" ?
  • father_jack
    father_jack Posts: 3,509
    Spread tobasco sauce on it, especially on the tip. It won't be cold then :wink:
    Say... That's a nice bike..
    Trax T700 with Lew Racing Pro VT-1 ;-)

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