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How do you keep "Steven" warm?

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  • YOu could try some sort of merkin affair :shock:
    Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel
  • ilm_zero7ilm_zero7 Posts: 2,213
    danowat
    great posting and thread - one of the most amusing in months!
    http://veloviewer.com/SigImage.php?a=3370a&r=3&c=5&u=M&g=p&f=abcdefghij&z=a.png
    Wiliers: Cento Uno/Superleggera R and Zero 7. Bianchi Infinito CV and Oltre XR2
  • morstarmorstar Posts: 5,735
    Pross wrote:
    Do you have 'Steven' tucked down? If so he should be protected by the pad of your shorts but I know a lot of cyclists take the exhibitionist route and leave him up above on display but where he'll be susceptible to the cold. Also, when cold the heat is cut off from extremities so it may not be Steven himself that's getting cold but that the heat is being diverted elsewhere.

    There wouldn't be that much on display for the pointy up brigade if it's getting really cold!
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 79,667
    Chop it off, job done.

    Think of the weight saving as a added bonus.

    (umm, I wonder if there are any other body parts that could be chopped off to save weight.).
  • thel33terthel33ter Posts: 2,684
    RichardSwt wrote:
    Chop it off, job done.

    Think of the weight saving as a added bonus.

    (umm, I wonder if there are any other body parts that could be chopped of to save weight.).

    Nose, one ear, toes, little finger, several teeth, nipples ect :lol:
    And now you know, and knowing is half the battle
    05 Spesh Enduro Expert
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  • As someone whose name is Stephen, i am not sure whether I should be amused or offended?
  • hopper1hopper1 Posts: 4,389
    What kayakerchris said rings true...
    By the way, if you were confused... Penis is a posh way of referring to Steven! :wink:

    Extremities do get cold, as the blood is required elsewhere, used to suffer the same when I was running.

    Just got home, today and tried my new Shutt Pro Bibshorts on... The new insert in them is quite high at the front, so may be a help to you...
    Start with a budget, finish with a mortgage!
  • As someone whose name is Stephen, i am not sure whether I should be amused or offended?

    +1, though I'm going for 'amused with a hint of discomfort at the thought of being tucked into another man's shorts'... :D
  • sugarbeet wrote:
    I assure you 'Steven' is quite normal for Norfolk

    Being from norfolk, this all sounds perfectly natural. I'm more concerned about finding some socks that will span the webbing between my toes. My sister...ooops i mean my wife has tried in vein to get some from primark.
    Colnago..............The name on the worlds finest bikes
  • get your gran to knit you one of these

    oob122_elephant_willy_warmer300.jpg
    CUBE Agree GTC Pro '10
    Giant Defy 2 '09
  • ScrumpleScrumple Posts: 2,665
    danowat wrote:
    I've had this issue before, and never came (sic) up with...

    Why put "sic" in that?!!

    I'd check the meaning of it.... you can't use it in your own quote, and the word is correct.
  • danowatdanowat Posts: 2,877
    RichardSwt wrote:
    Chop it off, job done.

    Think of the weight saving as a added bonus.

    (umm, I wonder if there are any other body parts that could be chopped off to save weight.).

    Spoken like a cyclist!

    As for the "Norfolk thang", unfortunately, I don't have webbed feet (although the missus does), as I am an "import"

    The "sic" thing?, I just thought "came" when talking about steven was a bit close to the bone :wink:

    It seems like a combination of tobasco, deep heat, a merkin, and some sort of "cover" is the order of the day, either that or just live with a chilly one.

    Hmmmm......a cyclists "warmer".......I can picture the pitch on dragons den.....
  • in winter i wear my padded shorts under my padded bib longs so ive got two pads to protect "Percy" from the cold, works fine, its no fun trying to go for a pee with a shrivelled willy in minus degree temperatures.
  • neebneeb Posts: 4,448
    Cycling in the cold seriously shrinks your tackle. Accept it and forget about it, it always grows back afterwards. Unless you get frostbite.
    its no fun trying to go for a pee with a shrivelled willy in minus degree temperatures.
    That's the best way to warm it up! Directional control can be a little compromised however...
  • tingle is awful. once totally ruined a decent night. had to douse 'steven' for about 5 mins as felt like on fire :lol: [/quote]
  • sicknotesicknote Posts: 901
    I would not try deep heat as you WILL spend the rest of the day with Steven in a sink some where and yes I do know how it feels :shock: :shock:
    Well more on the two boys :oops:
  • hammeritehammerite Posts: 3,408
    Not had a problem with this this time of year, but in a couple of months when it's colder I will.

    Another layer is a good idea. I thought it was one of the reasons why people bought paddless tights for winter, so you can use your usual shorts underneath (more comfortable padding) with tights on top. As well as more comfortable padding it adds an extra layer of insulation and keeps "Steven" happy.
  • father_jackfather_jack Posts: 3,509
    Even with padless tights and windproof tights, was still cold. Hopefully a set of warm long johns underneath will be enough..
    Say... That's a nice bike..
    Trax T700 with Lew Racing Pro VT-1 ;-)
  • LazyBoycp wrote:
    As someone whose name is Stephen, i am not sure whether I should be amused or offended?

    +1, though I'm going for 'amused with a hint of discomfort at the thought of being tucked into another man's shorts'... :D

    You should be offended because this thread basically says

    Stevens a d1ck!
    getting faster, fitter, and skinnier by the day!
  • AidanRAidanR Posts: 1,142
    danowat wrote:

    The "sic" thing?, I just thought "came" when talking about steven was a bit close to the bone :wink:

    "sic" is used when quoting someone else and they have made an error which you wish to show that you are aware of, but are not correcting so as to leave the quote in its original format. It's not for pointing out your own puns, intentional or otherwise.
    Bike lover and part-time cyclist.
  • danowatdanowat Posts: 2,877
    Sorry :roll:
  • danowat wrote:
    Sorry :roll:
    clearly your being pulled up for a grammatical error was a bit of a c0ck up!
  • TdF riders put a couple of layers of newspaper down they jumpers when descending - try a couple of sheets of A5 down the front of your shorts. Then, give Steven a good warming rub when you get to work ... just don't make him cry !
  • AnonymousAnonymous Posts: 79,667
    TdF riders put a couple of layers of newspaper down they jumpers when descending - try a couple of sheets of A5 down the front of your shorts. Then, give Steven a good warming rub when you get to work ... just don't make him cry !


    Just beware of paper cuts. :oops:
  • chill123chill123 Posts: 210
    you could try an old curly wurly wrapper....
  • I AM Steven. And I'm very warm already thankyou very much.

    Thinbo wrote:
    get your gran to knit you one of these

    oob122_elephant_willy_warmer300.jpg

    That's useless - completely the wrong shape for my iPod!!
    Hello! I've been here over a month now.
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