Trail muppets (slight rant)

135

Comments

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,667
    Mate of mine ran over a sheep on his GSXR once, at very high (but obviously legal, ahem) speed on the A55. Guy behind him caught up and saw him sat at the side of the road covered in blood. He was crying so much he was physically shaking apparently. The reason?
    "I can't believe I just killed that poor animal, sob sob sob" :roll: :lol:

    Guy was lucky to be alive, and his bike was unscathed apart from sheep uts that needed cleaning out from everywhere. The front wheel appeared to have sawn the thing in half!
  • ilovedirt
    ilovedirt Posts: 5,798
    Is it wrong that I laughed at that?
    Production Privee Shan

    B'Twin Triban 5
  • I thought you mtb people were meant to be a nice bunch?

    I'd heard that you were the last hope for the human race. Based on this unsavoury spectacle, you're just like the rest of 'em!

    No wonder the bloody aliens won't land. :(
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Marin
    SS Inbred
    Mongoose Teocali Super
  • Came across this thread by accident. Haven't laughed as much since the last Michael McIntyre DVD. Good stuff!
    http://www.youtube.com/user/stumpy25lbs
    Choose a ****ing big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin can openers. Choose a bike. Choose some singletrack. Choose your future. Choose Life. (Irv Welsh)
  • Maybe my sheep was on holiday from New Zealand. He was hard as nails and did not move where as I ended up six feet in the air and down the road.

    Maybe slick road tyres are smoother and less able to cut into flesh than knobly tyres.

    Could be a useful grouptest........
  • Iain C wrote:
    midlife crisis rant

    Grrrrrr.


    Tacx_Fortius_complete.jpg
    FARKBOOK TWATTER Happiness is my fucking mood!
  • how does he reach his waterbottle?
  • stubs
    stubs Posts: 5,001
    That picture is wrong in so many ways
    1. ponytail
    2. suns shining and hes riding a fecking electric road
    3. ponytail
    4. out the window is gorgeous scenery and hes indoors watching a laptop
    5. trophy on mantelpiece = tw@
    6. ponytail

    Back to the OP if you dont like other people being tw@s at the trail centre go ride some proper off road stuff even in busy places like the Peak or the Lakes you will be unlucky to bump into more than a dozen riders on a ride.
    Fig rolls: proof that god loves cyclists and that she wants us to do another lap
  • Cut the guy some slack, Stubs - he's probably getting in a quick 20mins. before his next deal-clinching power-lunch!

    And, the ponytail is a practical solution for keeping his fabulous locks in place during strenuous exercise!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Marin
    SS Inbred
    Mongoose Teocali Super
  • Stubs does raise some good points though. Note also:

    1) Ponytail
    2) Shaved legs.
    3) Watching a video of himself while riding.

    Peaks -Cut gate, did not see anyone on that, or sheep, dead or alive.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,667
    Maybe my sheep was on holiday from New Zealand. He was hard as nails and did not move where as I ended up six feet in the air and down the road.

    Maybe slick road tyres are smoother and less able to cut into flesh than knobly tyres.

    Could be a useful grouptest........
    Knobblies? How many GSXRs have you seen with knobblies?
  • stubs
    stubs Posts: 5,001
    Cut the guy some slack, Stubs - he's probably getting in a quick 20mins. before his next deal-clinching power-lunch!

    More likely getting up a sweat before having sex with himself in front of a mirror :lol:
    Fig rolls: proof that god loves cyclists and that she wants us to do another lap
  • More likely getting up a sweat before having sex with himself in front of a mirror

    Aaah, that's what the bottle's for!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Marin
    SS Inbred
    Mongoose Teocali Super
  • Sorry, mixing my knobblies and non knobblies.


    he has got good muscletone on those legs though..........
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,667
    jairaj wrote:
    on a serious note, is the original issue really that bad?
    I've been behind some people before for them to kindly move out the way without notice when I would have been happy to just sit behind them. Communication can be a bit hard when you're hucking away on the bike.
    ^^Precisely that.
    cooldad wrote:
    She was hot in a Welshy, rough and ready way. Almost sheeplike.
    Oh dear god NO. I do NOT want a go on Sheeps. No offence to the guy, he's very funny, a top bloke, but just... NO :shock:

    c'mon, you're only saying that cause you've never seen me from behind!!
  • rudedog
    rudedog Posts: 523
    how does he reach his waterbottle?

    its the proverbial 'carrot on a stick' :lol:
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,667
    edited September 2010
    Oh dear god NO. I do NOT want a go on Sheeps. No offence to the guy, he's very funny, a top bloke, but just... NO :shock:

    c'mon, you're only saying that cause you've never seen me from behind!!
    No, I'm saying that because I don't want our relationship to be made public.



    Oh wait!
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,667
    damn, we have been discovered!!
  • Oh god you guys are screwed now :p
  • I wonder if the OP is aware of the Monster he has created... :wink:
    http://www.youtube.com/user/stumpy25lbs
    Choose a ****ing big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin can openers. Choose a bike. Choose some singletrack. Choose your future. Choose Life. (Irv Welsh)
  • .blitz
    .blitz Posts: 6,197
    Iain C wrote:
    Ditto Cannock last weekend...on the steepest of the three litle rock steps on the Monkey, going a bit sideways as it's wet, and someone behind decides to go over the edge at the same time when I'm still on the section. And 20 mins later, on another section at Cannock, another muppet annoyingly close to my back wheel, so I let him through...so he rides about another 20 yards before stopping to change his seat height.
    This happens a lot. I accept it as the norm.

    Cannock, Saturday:
    Stop for a banana where the trail crosses a fire road; plenty of room. The Clicky Hub Army comes barrelling along, all fired up with armour and helmet cams. They 'kill' the first 50m of switchback and then they stop all over the trail because there's something wrong with the helmet cams.

    Later:
    Middle Monkey, just after the first rock step. Mr Adjustable Seatpost flies past, then stops at the top of the next rock step because his seatpost is stuck.

    A little later:
    More Clicky Hubs, this time one of them gets a puncture. Decides to fix it in the middle of the trail

    Upper Cliff:
    Group of muppets at the top of the switchbacks see us coming and decide to go. Have to pick them off one-by-one on the descent.

    Bench on Lower Cliff:
    The entire contents of Chain Reaction turn up (there's just two of them) and they have absolutely everything. They sit in silence on the log not taking part in the friendly banter, just staring at their shoes like gommos. Then there's a microscopic spot of rain and they're up. But first they have to adjust the travel, drop the seatposts, check the helmet cam, check the GPS, synchronise watches...FFS it's Cannock.
  • .blitz
    .blitz Posts: 6,197
    Forgot to mention Action Mum & Dad @ the Werewolf. They have a son (7 or 8 years old) and Dad is lining up the kid's bike (with him sitting on it) so he can just push him over the edge :shock:

    The kid is terrified but Dad assures him he can do it.

    Mum is standing at the bottom with a camcorder :roll:
  • cee
    cee Posts: 4,553
    .blitz wrote:
    Forgot to mention Action Mum & Dad @ the Werewolf. They have a son (7 or 8 years old) and Dad is lining up the kid's bike (with him sitting on it) so he can just push him over the edge :shock:

    The kid is terrified but Dad assures him he can do it.

    Mum is standing at the bottom with a camcorder :roll:

    did he make it?

    :D
    Whenever I see an adult on a bicycle, I believe in the future of the human race.

    H.G. Wells.
  • .blitz
    .blitz Posts: 6,197
    Dunno. I made like a Scotsman near a collection plate and got the hell out of there :)
  • .blitz
    .blitz Posts: 6,197
    Also forgot to mention there was someone riding round with a race number on their handlebars hahahahahahahahahaha

    WTF is all that about :lol:
  • chedabob
    chedabob Posts: 1,133
    .blitz wrote:
    Also forgot to mention there was someone riding round with a race number on their handlebars hahahahahahahahahaha

    WTF is all that about :lol:

    Probably forgot to take it off?
  • shm_uk
    shm_uk Posts: 683
    .blitz wrote:
    Also forgot to mention there was someone riding round with a race number on their handlebars hahahahahahahahahaha

    WTF is all that about :lol:


    Very, very lost ?
  • I have to admit i never ever want to take my race numbers off :(
  • Tacx_Fortius_complete.jpg

    nothing about that is real, the view from the window, the laptop. except the ponytail, that's real enough.

    i've had this a few times at gisburn. i'm a slow rider, people will overtake me, that's absolutely fine. especially if i'm with my wife, as she's learning. but i'm far from the best or fastest rider out there, so i try to avoid saturday afternoons (cunningly avoided all trail centre traffic this summer as i've been stuck in the house for 6 months).

    i rode over someone's wheel when they decided to drop their bike in the middle of a bit of singletrack just after a blind bend there earlier this year, i come 'barreling' round the corner to a choice of bailing a 10ft drop into a stream or ride over both his wheels. i think he may need 2 new ones now. nothing i could do though.