What is the most painful way to kill yourself.

Anonymous

Inspired by freehub, Thanks Will.

what would be the most painful way to kill yourself ?

Be Kerry katonas plaything ?

Drink lots of bleach ?

Put yourself through a bacon slicer, feet first...

Stewie Griffin

Drink Thermite or say to the Missus, no love, those jeans done make your ar5e look big, its effing enormous anyway.

finchy

dmclite wrote:

Inspired by freehub, Thanks Will.

what would be the most painful way to kill yourself ?

Be Kerry katonas plaything ?

Drink lots of bleach ?

Put yourself through a bacon slicer, feet first...

Being tied up in the desert sun for long enough would probably be particularly unpleasant, especially if they cut your eyelids off first, as is the traditional Afghan punishment.

Besides that, I think the ancients pretty much wrote the book on painful killing, especially crucifixion.

Not forgetting being tied down and having bamboo grown through you - I saw that in an episode of the Man from UNCLE once - don't know if it has ever been done for real.

bompington

Go to http://www.bikeradar.com/forums/search.php and enter "Lance OR Armstrong"* into the search box, then read every post of every thread.



*An exact equivalent search can be done by typing "FrenchFighter" in the "Search for Author" box

Anonymous

Ive heard of one where you are tied to a pole, suspended on a frame horizontally, belly downand a large metal bowl of rats is placed under your belly and a fire lit under the bowl so the rats eat through your stomach.
Now thats a painful way to go.

cee

dmclite wrote:

Ive heard of one where you are tied to a pole, suspended on a frame horizontally, belly downand a large metal bowl of rats is placed under your belly and a fire lit under the bowl so the rats eat through your stomach.
Now thats a painful way to go.

i saw a film where they did a take on that....can't remember what it was, but it was rat in a bucket upturned on stomach...then blowtorch to the bucket....

jrduquemin

cee wrote:

dmclite wrote:

Ive heard of one where you are tied to a pole, suspended on a frame horizontally, belly downand a large metal bowl of rats is placed under your belly and a fire lit under the bowl so the rats eat through your stomach.
Now thats a painful way to go.

i saw a film where they did a take on that....can't remember what it was, but it was rat in a bucket upturned on stomach...then blowtorch to the bucket....

That was 2 Fast 2 Furious :-)

freehub

I think it was something like fast and the furious.

Splottboy

Listening to my Mother in Law "not moaning" about her bad knees, osteoporosis, bad hips, busted wrist. "There's no point moaning, 'cos no one listens..."

Yeah, right. STOP bloody moaning then! Death by verbal-assault. Very painful.

mask of sanity

Obviously the Cruciatus Curse followed by Avada Kedavra

timb64

I've been watching The Tudors and Henry VIII seems to have nailed it what with red hot pokers up the behind and burning people alive.Don't you just love the heritage of our glorious monarchy!!

ju5t1n

smoking?

Porgy

Announce that you're a striking tubeworker at a Commuter Forum meet up

markos1963

timb64 wrote:

I've been watching The Tudors and Henry VIII seems to have nailed it what with red hot pokers up the behind and burning people alive.Don't you just love the heritage of our glorious monarchy!!

I think that was done to one of his forebears( correct me if I'm wrong but Edward 1 sticks in my head)

markos1963

Talking to a health professional apparently paracetemol overdose is a pretty ansty way to go.

DavidBelcher

Stewie Griffin wrote:

Drink Thermite or say to the Missus, no love, those jeans done make your ar5e look big, its effing enormous anyway.

In the first instance, make sure you ask for Thermite and don't get muddled up; I don't know if it's possible to die from ODing on the nation's favourite brand of yeast extract. Though all that salt couldn't do you much good....

David

jrduquemin

I thought they'd put an additive in paracetamol now to prevent overdosing...

How about this for a painful death:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_eagle

Anonymous

jrduquemin wrote:

I thought they'd put an additive in paracetamol now to prevent overdosing...

How about this for a painful death:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_eagle

Nasty.

ride_whenever

HF poisoning is supposed to be excruciating, you end up with metallic calcium being deposited out of the skin from the treatment and calcium fluoride being deposited in every nerve fibre...

scroll down for a pretty greusome image

TommyEss

jrduquemin wrote:

I thought they'd put an additive in paracetamol now to prevent overdosing...

How about this for a painful death:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_eagle

Re. Paracetomol - don't think there's such a thing as an additive to prevent the overdose, as it's the active ingredient that causes the chronic liver damage that kills you - they can administer an anti-toxin if you have OD'd, but it's most effective if taken within 12 hours of the overdose, yet symptoms take around 24 hours to show themselves.

It's not really a very sensible way to kill yourself...

Re. the Norsemen - Wow - I mean - WOW - who the hell would even think that up - it's a bit like that seen from "Saw" in reverse, where the female cop gets her chest pulled open with the springs...

Porgy

jrduquemin wrote:

I thought they'd put an additive in paracetamol now to prevent overdosing...

I know someone who tried it recently - ie, earlier this year, and casued possibly non-reversible damage to his liver.

Anonymous

Being dragged out of a tesla roadster and strung up with inner tubes to a tree like a pinata for cyclists to club you with pumps when they pass whilst leaving you to starve to death. There would be a TV set up there too showing a permanent loop of Anthony Worrall Thompson...

TommyEss

Yep - when we covered this in GCSE science, the basic advice was that if you have reached such a state of desperation as to consider suicide, for God's sake use Aspirin and not Paracetomol - the dosage required to kill yourself with Paracetomol is upwards of 30 tablets - and it kills you by stopping your living working and you die from all the toxins that then build up in your body.

Aspirin thins your blood and you die (relatively) painlessly.

Porgy

I've always thought killing yourself by jumping in front of a train must be pretty horrific if you're not killed by the intitial impact.

crankycrank

Listening to a Yoko Ono and Bjork duet of Christmas Carols.

markos1963

Porgy wrote:

I've always thought killing yourself by jumping in front of a train must be pretty horrific if you're not killed by the intitial impact.

Unfortunatly I can tell you that being hit by a 500 ton train travelling at 100mph is a non reversable cry for help. I have had to take suicide trains to the depot for cleaning and many of my collegues have had the misfortune to be involved, there isn't very much left of the poor unfortunate and I have only heard of one person not dying instantly( the train was only doing 20mph and the guy was stuck under for 30mins whilst the paramedics tried in vain to get him out)

Porgy

markos1963 wrote:

Porgy wrote:

I've always thought killing yourself by jumping in front of a train must be pretty horrific if you're not killed by the intitial impact.

Unfortunatly I can tell you that being hit by a 500 ton train travelling at 100mph is a non reversable cry for help. I have had to take suicide trains to the depot for cleaning and many of my collegues have had the misfortune to be involved, there isn't very much left of the poor unfortunate and I have only heard of one person not dying instantly( the train was only doing 20mph and the guy was stuck under for 30mins whilst the paramedics tried in vain to get him out)

I was thinking more of tube trains tbh - i know from first hand accounts that many do not die outright.

TommyEss

Yes, but for the purposes of this thread, probably doesn't hurt that much.

I suggest you take your "quick and painless" suggestion to the "What Is The Quickes Way To Kill Yourself" thread...!

A friend of mine used to work for South West Trains, and she heard the report of a "One-under" who chose to do it in a tunnel. The report was that he wasn't hit by the train per-se - but that the draft from the train sucked him into the side of the train, then bounced him back onto the wall of the tunnel, and repeat until he's in pieces no bigger than a small muffin, like a grim pinball machine.

N-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-c-e....

Porgy

crankycrank wrote:

Listening to a Yoko Ono and Bjork duet of Christmas Carols.

maybe the forthcoming Bob Dylan xmas album will achieve a similar effect?

TommyEss

Porgy wrote:

crankycrank wrote:

Listening to a Yoko Ono and Bjork duet of Christmas Carols.

maybe the forthcoming Bob Dylan xmas album will achieve a similar effect?

David Essex - Winter Tale!?!?

Anonymous

TommyEss wrote:

Yep - when we covered this in GCSE science, the basic advice was that if you have reached such a state of desperation as to consider suicide, for God's sake use Aspirin and not Paracetomol - the dosage required to kill yourself with Paracetomol is upwards of 30 tablets - and it kills you by stopping your living working and you die from all the toxins that then build up in your body.

Aspirin thins your blood and you die (relatively) painlessly.

To be fair, everything kills you by stopping your 'living' working

This is quite a bad way to survive :shock: Although I have seen worse in the flesh so to speak...

******WARNING*******

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvArzjgUDnQ