Waaaaayyyy TMI. Burds: read something else.
Comments
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I had some rabid bad saddle sores - proper big gob stopper hard and sore jobs.
By the time i read this I had to leave the office and take time to compose myself after a fit of laughter!Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game0 -
Greg66 wrote:prawny wrote:Luckily my father in law used to be a racer and she grew up around some very hairless men. Nut butter doesn't bother her in the slightest, although the little 'un wouldn't be impressed if I left hair in his sudocreme again :oops:
Where'd you grow up?
Alabama?
Mississippi?
East Anglia?
Cannock :oops: look at it on google maps, a great town, home of stars in their eyes kids winner charlotte summat or other
Edit: Found a pic of her, her sister tried to set me up with her ohh check me out!
Saracen Tenet 3 - 2015 - Dead - Replaced with a Hack Frame
Voodoo Bizango - 2014 - Dead - Hit by a car
Vitus Sentier VRS - 20170 -
Only this forum would turn a personal and possibly life ruining, condition into a contest :shock: A young man in what passes for his prime of life reaches out for guidance and this is the response :roll:
Quite the funniest stuff for ages
It is quite clear that a course of massage is needed. Quite expensive IIRC.
Sudocrem, the cyclists' friend.The older I get the faster I was0 -
I was laughing but now I'm getting worried.
Seems like most of the SCR crew periodically get a dose of BBB (boils behind bollocks). Now I have not yet secumbed to this terrifying affliction (perhaps lathering myself with Assos chamois cream has benefits beyond an invigorating start to the day, who'd have thought it?). I'm feeling that my dedication to cycling might have been impaired by chronic BBB. I know - MTFU.
I am beginning to think either:
a) If God had meant us to ride bikes he might have found a different place to keep our nuts
b) We need to get that Dyson bloke to take a clean sheet approach to saddle design.
BTW, anyone tried one of those noseless saddles that just supports the sit bones? I'm not sure about the tradeoff between avoiding BBB and falling of the bike at every up and corner. Please advise
J0 -
now I managed to type "up" instead of "bump"
anybody with an interest in Freud please sod off0 -
Greg66 wrote:Ok. I am not some 17th century Frenchman. I'm not going to powder my nuts.
Can I be honest.
I'm not exactly svelte. Back when I wore jeans to cycle (nails) that spot would be visually red raw and on me (having met me and now knowing - because I'm about to tell you - that that area is amongst the darkest on my body) it must have been incredibly - put wet tissue between your thighs in the morning - sore.
Though I moisturise that area vigously before every bike ride I found that powder on the nuts helps in leaps and bounds... Powder also absorbs sweat in the area that can cause blocked pours and that is painful in a ghey way...Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game0 -
jedster wrote:I was laughing but now I'm getting worried.
Seems like most of the SCR crew periodically get a dose of BBB (boils behind bollocks). Now I have not yet secumbed to this terrifying affliction (perhaps lathering myself with Assos chamois cream has benefits beyond an invigorating start to the day, who'd have thought it?). I'm feeling that my dedication to cycling might have been impaired by chronic BBB. I know - MTFU.
I am beginning to think either:
a) If God had meant us to ride bikes he might have found a different place to keep our nuts
b) We need to get that Dyson bloke to take a clean sheet approach to saddle design.
BTW, anyone tried one of those noseless saddles that just supports the sit bones? I'm not sure about the tradeoff between avoiding BBB and falling of the bike at every up and corner. Please advise
J
I was looking at the SQL saddles at lunch, they look like normal saddles but the nose is lower than the sit bone part, I may well give one a try, I think there was a review on here somewhere but I can't find it now.Saracen Tenet 3 - 2015 - Dead - Replaced with a Hack Frame
Voodoo Bizango - 2014 - Dead - Hit by a car
Vitus Sentier VRS - 20170 -
Metanium is much better than Sudocreme as a cure.
I've got to stop reading this thread nowNo Babbit No, Look what Birdy doing0 -
Bloody hell, has every male on this forum had problems with rashes and spots on the undercarriage? Am I the only one who has never had any probs down there? You all sound well versed in soreness that would have me in a panic. I suggest you wash your shorts more often....Do not write below this line. Office use only.0
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DonDaddyD wrote:Greg66 wrote:Ok. I am not some 17th century Frenchman. I'm not going to powder my nuts.
Can I be honest.
I'm not exactly svelte. Back when I wore jeans to cycle (nails) that spot would be visually red raw and on me (having met me and now knowing - because I'm about to tell you - that that area is amongst the darkest on my body) it must have been incredibly - put wet tissue between your thighs in the morning - sore.
Though I moisturise that area vigously before every bike ride I found that powder on the nuts helps in leaps and bounds... Powder also absorbs sweat in the area that can cause blocked pours and that is painful in a ghey way...
See!!!
See!
Oh, how you doubted me :P
http://www.trickery.net/vb/showthread.php?t=25906 for more information
just don't over do it... popping out of your shorts to pee and having a semi-clumped white volcano of powder, like some kind of albino Vesuvius peno-clastic flow is one of the most embarrassing things that can happen.
I know this, it did. :oops:
i will not mention that you now also have talc white hands on your black shorts and the marks they leave are night on impossible to explain away. You may as well just start calling yourself Gerald and wearing tight leather shorts instead.Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
2011 Trek Madone 4.5
2012 Felt F65X
Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter0 -
Kieran_Burns wrote:DonDaddyD wrote:Greg66 wrote:Ok. I am not some 17th century Frenchman. I'm not going to powder my nuts.
Can I be honest.
I'm not exactly svelte. Back when I wore jeans to cycle (nails) that spot would be visually red raw and on me (having met me and now knowing - because I'm about to tell you - that that area is amongst the darkest on my body) it must have been incredibly - put wet tissue between your thighs in the morning - sore.
Though I moisturise that area vigously before every bike ride I found that powder on the nuts helps in leaps and bounds... Powder also absorbs sweat in the area that can cause blocked pours and that is painful in a ghey way...
See!!!
See!
Oh, how you doubted me :P
http://www.trickery.net/vb/showthread.php?t=25906 for more information
just don't over do it... popping out of your shorts to pee and having a semi-clumped white volcano of powder, like some kind of albino Vesuvius peno-clastic flow is one of the most embarrassing things that can happen.
I know this, it did. :oops:
i will not mention that you now also have talc white hands on your black shorts and the marks they leave are night on impossible to explain away. You may as well just start calling yourself Gerald and wearing tight leather shorts instead.
After a "successful" night, whipping out a oddly powder covered Smith and Wesson on a hopeful burd and trying to explain why you powder it without seeming gay and trying to remain attractive is nigh-on impossible.... hang on weren't we talking about cycling...Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game0 -
Kieran_Burns wrote:
See!!!
See!
Oh, how you doubted me :P
http://www.trickery.net/vb/showthread.php?t=25906 for more information
:shock: :shock: :shock: Feck me. I've just been on a tour of the darkest depths of the internet. I feel violated. And not in a good way :shock:Kieran_Burns wrote:just don't over do it... popping out of your shorts to pee and having a semi-clumped white volcano of powder, like some kind of albino Vesuvius peno-clastic flow is one of the most embarrassing things that can happen.
I know this, it did. :oops:
i will not mention that you now also have talc white hands on your black shorts and the marks they leave are night on impossible to explain away. You may as well just start calling yourself Gerald and wearing tight leather shorts instead.
I'm going to take a stab in the dark here, but you've never worked in sales, have you?DonDaddyD wrote:After a "successful" night, whipping out a oddly powder covered Smith and Wesson on a hopeful burd and trying to explain why you powder it without seeming gay and trying to remain attractive is nigh-on impossible.... hang on weren't we talking about cycling...
Maybe tell her it's coke?0 -
Greg66 wrote:
Maybe tell her it's coke?
Sorry I don't partake in the social practices of the Law society....
For me if it doesn't grow from a tree I won't smoke it...
Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game0 -
Greg66 wrote::shock: :shock: :shock: Feck me. I've just been on a tour of the darkest depths of the internet. I feel violated. And not in a good way :shock:
If you think that's bad then never, EVER go to the random board on 4chan. You start clicking through the threads and it's...
Post 1 - Amusing
Post 2 - Weird
Post 3 - Slightly Alarming
Post 4 - Nasty
Post 5 - Amusing
Post 6 - Ah shit, now I'm going to prison. Or Hell. Or possibly both.0 -
Greg66 wrote:Maybe tell her it's coke?
You see that would work.
However I think we all know that if you are riding having dumped a load of Johnssons best down your pants it will resemble yogurt at best, cottage cheese at the mid point and advanced stage Rampant Tokyo Rose at worst.
It's not a position of strength - and if you are in a position of strength remember to get the disclaimer signed in advance.Fixed gear for wet weather / hairy roadie for posing in the sun.
What would Thora Hurd do?0 -
Greg T wrote:Greg66 wrote:Maybe tell her it's coke?
You see that would work.
However I think we all know that if you are riding having dumped a load of Johnssons best down your pants it will resemble yogurt at best, cottage cheese at the mid point and advanced stage Rampant Tokyo Rose at worst.
It's not a position of strength - and if you are in a position of strength remember to get the disclaimer signed in advance.
I use a vebal disclaimer:
"It's probably not going to be good."
Which burds tend to reply "I'll be the judge of that"
And I always end up saying "I told you so"
Its one of the few times I hate being right....Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game0 -
DonDaddyD wrote:I use a vebal disclaimer
I'm not sure that would "stand up" in a court of law or more importantly Kangaroo court here convened.
I - The prosecution - contend that D cubed's pre-apology to a burd is both redundant and uneccesary - suggesting a level of concern for female satisfaction that is bizarre and unnatural - M-Lud.
I suggest to the court that he should attend re-eduction classes and just stop being ghey.Fixed gear for wet weather / hairy roadie for posing in the sun.
What would Thora Hurd do?0 -
Whats this 'perineum' :shock:0
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Are you coming to the Pub?
Stop it, I'm in pain!!! 0 -
Greg T wrote:moonio wrote:Whats this 'perineum' :shock:
Are you coming to the Pub?
There realy isn't a better reply!Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game0 -
Stone Glider wrote:Sudocrem, the cyclists' friend.
+1. This stuff is seriously good.
I had to ditch the Selle Italia. That's all I'm saying.FCN 2-4.
"What happens when the hammer goes down, kids?"
"It stays down, Daddy."
"Exactly."0 -
This happened to me shortly after I got back on the bike in September last year but being a newby at the time I delicately put it down as saddle soreness - I found Sudacrem to be the answer although not without first going down the blind alley of talcum powder - it was fine for a while but reverted to cottage cheese on contact with sweat in any shape or form - not recommended and left difficult to explain white marks on the inside of underwear0
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Talcum powder is a snare and a delusion. It pretends to please only to leave you with a messy off-white paste of dubious provenance. Hard to explain without providing TMI.
G66 must consider the massage route to health and happiness. [and tell us all about it] The older I get the faster I was0 -
I can confirm first hand the conversation did NOT get any better at the pub, it was all we could do to stop G66 & GT from whipping them out :shock:
Don't know about you lot but i'm not sleeping tonight, i'll going to turn on all the lights and stand underneath for a while a long while :?Rule #5 // Harden The Feck Up.
Rule #9 // If you are out riding in bad weather, it means you are a badass. Period.
Rule #12 // The correct number of bikes to own is n+1.
Rule #42 // A bike race shall never be preceded with a swim and/or followed by a run.0 -
prj45 wrote:I find that drying the area with a hair drier after a shower helps. Basically don't use the soggy bacteria infested towel on your nifkins bridge and surrounding area.
I good rub down with some wire wool Rule #5 // Harden The Feck Up.
Rule #9 // If you are out riding in bad weather, it means you are a badass. Period.
Rule #12 // The correct number of bikes to own is n+1.
Rule #42 // A bike race shall never be preceded with a swim and/or followed by a run.0 -
Actually I'm surprised that this affects our more senior members (no pun intended) as I had assumed that after a few years in the saddle one developed a leathery layer of skin impervious to all but the most extreme conditions - wire wool, blow torches, burrowing insects etc0
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Look, as you get older, you produce less collagen and after time........Jay dubbleU wrote:Actually I'm surprised that this affects our more senior members (no pun intended) as I had assumed that after a few years in the saddle one developed a leathery layer of skin impervious to all but the most extreme conditions - wire wool, blow torches, burrowing insects etc
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Which one of these will Greg admit to being??
:oops: I've added a signature to prove it is still possible.0
