Waaaaayyyy TMI. Burds: read something else.

greg66_tri_v2.0

I realise that the state of the 66 undercarriage is often an issue of concern to the general populace here. Thought I'd share the latest.


[Burds: you've been told. Go read something else. Or do some embroidery. You'll be sorry otherwise. Just remember: Pandora gets remembered for a reason].
















OK. So to describe the sore area, a picture would save time. But not today, perhaps.

Boys: grab the ol' feller (some of you will need two hands for this) and pull him up, so the jewel bag is pulled up.

Right you are. Either side, near the back of the bag, where the top of the leg ends. Find that (those that had to use two hands at stage one will need an assistant right about now. Use someone you trust. Or will never have to look in the eye again).

If you've got to the perineum, you've gone too far (see what I did there? Now go wash your hands and start again). Both sides, near (but not quite at) the back of the bag. Right up there in the depths of the fold. Those're the spots. They're sore. Right now, anyway. Sometimes they're ok. But not right now.

I've decided to attribute this "issue" to my saddle: a Selle Italia SLR (the weenie 135g model). Which is slightly irrational, because the saddle's always there, but the soreness isn't.

Anyhoo, as of now, right now, Bike 1 is sporting a Spesh Toupe. I know a lot of you swear by this saddle, so you lot in particular need to know that this evening, and for the foreseeable future, my undercarriage is in your hands.

I'll report back soon. Thanks for caring.

Greg T

I had some rabid bad saddle sores - proper big gob stopper hard and sore jobs. Just where you describe - but you know - better on me.

I found that chamois cream was required even on my one hour ten commute - kept them at bay and you get to rub your nut sac with cream twice a day - it's win win.

Or tabasco and drill swarf after a rub down with brillo pad and white spirit.

In fact I'd suggest the flaggelation treatment first.

Let us know how you get on.

Or it could be Tokyo Nob Rot your Mrs picked up from the gardener - you caught it from wearing her underwear?

greg66_tri_v2.0

Greg T wrote:

I had some rabid bad saddle sores - proper big gob stopper hard and sore jobs. Just where you describe - but you know - better on me.

Whose gob were they stopping?

I s'pose your knuckle dragging arm physiology comes in handy having to reach around your svelte space hopper lines to get down there...

bluesacs

I think Dr Greg T has pretty much covered the subject there, but it could be leprosy and your testicles are going to detach themselves, just a thought. If it is leprosy you'll need to keep ringing your bell to warn other riders to stay away.

Greg T

Greg66 wrote:

I s'pose your knuckle dragging arm physiology

Have you been admiring my Guns again?

Listen its flattering and all - but let's face it - I could do better.

always_tyred

Greg, you should stop wearing those starched Y-fronts under your shorts.

Kieran_Burns

Right you are. Either side, near the back of the bag, where the top of the leg ends. Find that (those that had to use two hands at stage one will need an assistant right about now. Use someone you trust. Or will never have to look in the eye again).

Errrr... which eye? :shock:


Did you do something daft when adjusting and catch yourself? I managed to to scratch the sack one time, having failed to note a half broken finger-nail :!: :!:

Squeal liddle piggie!

(being serious... I find a small amount of talc down there works wonders in warmer weather, try that)

greg66_tri_v2.0

Ok. I am not some 17th century Frenchman. I'm not going to powder my nuts.

Not, I suspect, am I going to slather them in gel. Not on a daily basis at least. Perhaps at the weekends.

I digress.

Starched Ys. Hmm. Will think about that. For an entirely different purpose.

Leprosy would smell bad, right? Like something rotting? Seems ok for now. I'll keep that on the list, but in pencil for now.

il_principe

Oh dear God, I've just eaten lunch ffs.

Greg T

Boils are traditionally associated with God's Punishment on those he despised.

Have you been over-worshipping your false idol again?

greg66_tri_v2.0

Greg T wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

I s'pose your knuckle dragging arm physiology

Have you been admiring my Guns again?

Listen its flattering and all - but let's face it - I could do better.

It's the tats on them - "Left" and "Rigth" [sic] - I find curiously fascinating. And the fact that they're only the right way round for someone looking at you.

itboffin

perineum = smelly bridge

I have the very same sores perhaps we could compare them later at the Morpeth or perhaps create some kind of competitive list where we could compare size & number.

itboffin

jashburnham wrote:

Oh dear God, I've just eaten lunch ffs.

Well you girls were warned not to read on :P

il_principe

itboffin wrote:

perineum = smelly bridge

I have the very same sores perhaps we could compare them later at the Morpeth or perhaps create some kind of competitive list where we could compare size & number.

Size of what exactly?

itboffin

jashburnham wrote:

itboffin wrote:

perineum = smelly bridge

I have the very same sores perhaps we could compare them later at the Morpeth or perhaps create some kind of competitive list where we could compare size & number.

Size of what exactly?

Ego :roll:

Kieran_Burns

Ok. I am not some 17th century Frenchman. I'm not going to powder my nuts.

We're not talking beauty spots, a willy wig, and silken bows around your bollocks - just enough to dry the area while cycling

itboffin

Ruffles are all the rage isn't that right JG

Don't ask :roll:

Greg T

itboffin wrote:

perineum = smelly bridge

Perineum = Rumble Strip

As for the left and right tattoos on said nut sac readable by a third party I can only say how disappointed I am that you didn't comment on the skill required to execute the job using only a unbent paper clip, ink from a smashed biro and shiny tin foil off a Kit Kat as a mirror.

It's a wonder I didn't draw it all backwards.

tailwindhome

Also, fewer recalls!

jonginge

itboffin wrote:

Ruffles are all the rage isn't that right JG

Don't ask :roll:

The perineums seem to be paved with purest green...

Pokerface

Greg66 wrote:

Not, I suspect, am I going to slather them in gel. Not on a daily basis at least. Perhaps at the weekends.

Unfortunately - slathering them in gel is perhaps the best way to prevent the problem. It's something I hate doing, but I hate the alternative even more!

Rich158

ffs stop, I'm in no fit state to laugh this much

I've had the same spots/lumps. I found savlon rubbed into the sack at least twice a day helped,, or at least took my mind off them

However try explaining to the other half why you sitting on the bedroom floor, contorted into a position only seen in a yoga manual, with her make up mirror between your legs :shock:

Kieran_Burns

ffs stop, I'm in no fit state to laugh this much

I've had the same spots/lumps. I found savlon rubbed into the sack at least twice a day helped,, or at least took my mind off them

However try explaining to the other half why you sitting on the bedroom floor, contorted into a position only seen in a yoga manual, with her make up mirror between your legs

just tell her you're looking for Louis XVIII

Chewy Cheeks

slathering them in gel is perhaps the best way to prevent the problem. It's something I hate doing, but I hate the alternative even more!

He's after a cure surely?
Perhaps-What alternative ?

This entire thread is just a Greg66 and GregT pseudo medical I've got the biggest disease/sores competition

Rich158

I did ask her to inspect them for me, but for some strange reason she declined, can't think why :roll:

Take it from me chaps, asking your loved one to inspect your manky nuts can only end in tears

prawny

Rich158 wrote:

ffs stop, I'm in no fit state to laugh this much

I've had the same spots/lumps. I found savlon rubbed into the sack at least twice a day helped,, or at least took my mind off them

However try explaining to the other half why you sitting on the bedroom floor, contorted into a position only seen in a yoga manual, with her make up mirror between your legs :shock:

You're single now aren't you rich

Luckily my father in law used to be a racer and she grew up around some very hairless men. Nut butter doesn't bother her in the slightest, although the little 'un wouldn't be impressed if I left hair in his sudocreme again :oops:

itboffin

Rich158 wrote:

I did ask her to inspect them for me, but for some strange reason she declined, can't think why :roll:

Take it from me chaps, asking your loved one to inspect your manky nuts can only end in tears

Not as badly as asking someone else's ....

DonDaddyD

Greg66 wrote:

I realise that the state of the 66 undercarriage is often an issue of concern to the general populace here. Thought I'd share the latest.


[Burds: you've been told. Go read something else. Or do some embroidery. You'll be sorry otherwise. Just remember: Pandora gets remembered for a reason].
















OK. So to describe the sore area, a picture would save time. But not today, perhaps.

Boys: grab the ol' feller (some of you will need two hands for this) and pull him up, so the jewel bag is pulled up.

Right you are. Either side, near the back of the bag, where the top of the leg ends. Find that (those that had to use two hands at stage one will need an assistant right about now. Use someone you trust. Or will never have to look in the eye again).

If you've got to the perineum, you've gone too far (see what I did there? Now go wash your hands and start again). Both sides, near (but not quite at) the back of the bag. Right up there in the depths of the fold. Those're the spots. They're sore. Right now, anyway. Sometimes they're ok. But not right now.

I've decided to attribute this "issue" to my saddle: a Selle Italia SLR (the weenie 135g model). Which is slightly irrational, because the saddle's always there, but the soreness isn't.

Anyhoo, as of now, right now, Bike 1 is sporting a Spesh Toupe. I know a lot of you swear by this saddle, so you lot in particular need to know that this evening, and for the foreseeable future, my undercarriage is in your hands.

I'll report back soon. Thanks for caring.

I got to the bit in bold and already have to say that this is the single funniest thing I've read in a long while!!!

Kieran_Burns

prawny wrote:

Rich158 wrote:

ffs stop, I'm in no fit state to laugh this much

I've had the same spots/lumps. I found savlon rubbed into the sack at least twice a day helped,, or at least took my mind off them

However try explaining to the other half why you sitting on the bedroom floor, contorted into a position only seen in a yoga manual, with her make up mirror between your legs :shock:

You're single now aren't you rich

Luckily my father in law used to be a racer and she grew up around some very hairless men. Nut butter doesn't bother her in the slightest, although the little 'un wouldn't be impressed if I left hair in his sudocreme again :oops:

your 'father' in law seems to have had a rich and varied past... what with sometimes being a woman.....

prawny

Kieran_Burns wrote:

prawny wrote:

Rich158 wrote:

ffs stop, I'm in no fit state to laugh this much

I've had the same spots/lumps. I found savlon rubbed into the sack at least twice a day helped,, or at least took my mind off them

However try explaining to the other half why you sitting on the bedroom floor, contorted into a position only seen in a yoga manual, with her make up mirror between your legs :shock:

You're single now aren't you rich

Luckily my father in law used to be a racer and she grew up around some very hairless men. Nut butter doesn't bother her in the slightest, although the little 'un wouldn't be impressed if I left hair in his sudocreme again :oops:

your 'father' in law seems to have had a rich and varied past... what with sometimes being a woman.....

Noooo by she I obviously meant the wife, that's my pet name for her, or her or you there.

greg66_tri_v2.0

prawny wrote:

Luckily my father in law used to be a racer and she grew up around some very hairless men. Nut butter doesn't bother her in the slightest, although the little 'un wouldn't be impressed if I left hair in his sudocreme again :oops:

Where'd you grow up?

Alabama?

Mississippi?

East Anglia?