I agree with Jeremy Clarkson on one thing

blackworx

As much as I despise such divisive stereotyping (ha!) it does seem that Audi drivers are in fact the new BMW drivers.

This morning I was separately tailgated, passed with inches to spare and finally left hooked by 3 different flash new Audis.

So if you or anyone you know is thinking of buying one: don't do it kids - it may very well turn you into a c0ck on four wheels.

biondino

Simon le Bon has just bought one of the flash sporty Audis - but he was very kind and patiently waited for me when he needed to get in his drive the other day.

linsen

Name dropping is not big and it's not clever, Blondie - now on yer bike

blackworx

If I'd been asked to hazard a guess at the first three words of reply to that post, "Simon Le Bon" would have been very close to the bottom of that list!

Littigator

biondino wrote:

Simon le Bon has just bought one of the flash sporty Audis - but he was very kind and patiently waited for me when he needed to get in his drive the other day.

Dude...have you started stalking people again? Tsh, just 7 days into the New Year and you've broken your resolution already :x

CiB

Don't be too sure. I was driving in this morning. At a roundabout the Beemer in front of me moved to the left lane, clearly marked as a left-only filter, as we approached the roundabout. I took the correct option for me and used the right-hand lane lane which goes straight on or right, only for BMW man to decide that he was going s/o after all, so we ended up both aiming for the same road space. His response? A load of silent abuse directed my way for daring to be in the right lane in the right bit of road. It's not hard is it? A huge white arrow on the road pointing left on the left lane should be enough for most people.

Personally I don't go for the 'All <insert car of choice here> drivers are dimwits' school of thought. It just seems to me that a huge number don't know the highway code, or don't think it applies to them.

biondino

Says the man who thinks it's fine to RLJ!!

lost_in_thought

It seems there may be a competition going on, the Audi drivers are trying to steal the driving like a prat crown, the BMW lot have just realised what's going on and are retaliating...

Oh and I agree with Jeremy Clarkson on lots of things.

il_principe

lost_in_thought wrote:

Oh and I agree with Jeremy Clarkson on lots of things.

Me too. His Times column is always a good read.

CiB

biondino wrote:

Says the man who thinks it's fine to RLJ!!

In full - it's safe to RLJ in the middle of nowhere IF there's no-one around AND it's safe so to do. How hard is that for you to understand? When I was in town last week, it never occurred to me to RLJ.

That's not the same as some oik in a BM polling off to the left filter lane, then getting all shirty at me for being in the right place and giving me a face full of abuse.. Jeez - some people...

mcmullej

jashburnham wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

Oh and I agree with Jeremy Clarkson on lots of things.

Me too. His Times column is always a good read.

JC is an obnoxious prat and quite possibly personally responsible for ending human civilisation. Just wait and see.

He is funny tho'.

whyamihere

mcmullej wrote:

jashburnham wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

Oh and I agree with Jeremy Clarkson on lots of things.

Me too. His Times column is always a good read.

JC is an obnoxious prat and quite possibly personally responsible for ending human civilisation. Just wait and see.

He is funny tho'.

You're making the common mistake of falling for the JC character. He's quite good at playing it though, I must admit.

biondino

Chris, I know what you're saying and was just joshing with you

jweston

I used to have an Audi A3:

The air bag system failed and had to be replaced.
The engine cooling fan system had to be replaced.
The cabin fans failed and had to be replaced.
The ABS system failed and had to be replaced.
The CAM belt tensioner went before time and had to be replaced.
The steering rack went loose and had to be replaced.

It's no wonder Audi drivers are so ill tempered. They're all wishing they'd gone with their instinct and bought BMWs. I got out of the rat race and drive a Citroen Berlingo, usually accessorised with a bike on the back. I believe Clarkson likes Berlingos?

CiB

biondino wrote:

Chris, I know what you're saying and was just joshing with you

Oh - sorry. sense of humour failure on my part there. Whoops.

lost_in_thought

jashburnham wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

Oh and I agree with Jeremy Clarkson on lots of things.

Me too. His Times column is always a good read.

+1, they're brilliant. The archive of them on timesonline wasted a lot of my time when I found it...

Sirius631

mcmullej wrote:

jashburnham wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

Oh and I agree with Jeremy Clarkson on lots of things.

Me too. His Times column is always a good read.

JC is an obnoxious prat and quite possibly personally responsible for ending human civilisation. Just wait and see.

He is funny tho'.

So we'll all die laughing. :twisted:

always_tyred

jashburnham wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

Oh and I agree with Jeremy Clarkson on lots of things.

Me too. His Times column is always a good read.

Yes, but its panto - you aren't SUPPOSED to agree. He doesn't even agree with the things he says. Some of his best friends are Welsh.

blackworx

@ChrisInBicester

Agreed, Beemer drivers are still just as bad, and it's not as if every other driver on the road is automatically a saint in comparison. It's just that flash new Audis seem to be all the rage as thrusting young executive ego wagons just now and (certainly round here over the last couple of years) there's been more and more of them on the roads, apparently driven by folk who think playing WipeOut is good practice for everyday road skills.

And I don't care what anyone says - in my experience the flashier/sportier the car, the more likely the driver is to act like a c0ck. So while I don't subscribe to the "all <insert name of car> drivers are rubbish" school of thought, I certainly subscribe to the notion that certain types of driver are much more likely to be driving certain types of car.

DonDaddyD

If there wasn't this stifling culture where some take themselves so seriously Jeremy Clarkson wouldn't be needed. But he is and he is brilliant and incredibly funny.

Greg66 drives an Audi, just saying is all.....

Its one of the biggest Audi's of them all as well..... just stoking the fire is all..... :twisted:

BenS999

Note to ChrisinBicester :

I firmly believe that if any driver knowingly disobeys the rules of the road – as in your said case – its fair game to follow the offender and when they stop (and it’s safe to do so without endangering other motorists/ cyclists/ pedestrians/ and possibly Audi drivers although I really wouldn’t worry too much about them) beat the said offender within an inch of their lives. You would then have the right to have the offender banned from driving for life, and be allowed to sell his car and keep any proceeds as a reward for the good work achieved. 
Clearly the offender in this case was fully aware he was in the wrong, and this somewhat course method should only be applied in such events. If it was a genuine mistake then he would have noticed this whilst in the left lane, and indicated to move over – also by way of courtesy he would have looked over and made eye contact with the driver to his right who being a reasonable and responsible person would have realised the driver had made a simple error and allowed him to pull in front. The manoeuvre would have ended with a simple friendly wave and not two fingers and increased blood pressure meaning no one would have arrived at work in a foul mood.

Who’s with me on this one?

BenS999

Note to ChrisinBicester :

I firmly believe that if any driver knowingly disobeys the rules of the road – as in your said case – its fair game to follow the offender and when they stop (and it’s safe to do so without endangering other motorists/ cyclists/ pedestrians/ and possibly Audi drivers although I really wouldn’t worry too much about them) beat the said offender within an inch of their lives. You would then have the right to have the offender banned from driving for life, and be allowed to sell his car and keep any proceeds as a reward for the good work achieved. 
Clearly the offender in this case was fully aware he was in the wrong, and this somewhat course method should only be applied in such events. If it was a genuine mistake then he would have noticed this whilst in the left lane, and indicated to move over – also by way of courtesy he would have looked over and made eye contact with the driver to his right who being a reasonable and responsible person would have realised the driver had made a simple error and allowed him to pull in front. The manoeuvre would have ended with a simple friendly wave and not two fingers and increased blood pressure meaning no one would have arrived at work in a foul mood.

Who’s with me on this one?

davidmiller

most of my scary moments recently have involved buses. It used to be vans but now it's buses. Now, I watch them like a hawk. Not impressed.

btw - I drive a Discovery and I know all LR drivers are perfect so just be careful!!!

David

turbodog

it is so true...I am a beemer driver and totally hate Audi... They will never be king of British roads!

DonDaddyD

blackworx wrote:

And I don't care what anyone says - in my experience the flashier/sportier the car, the more likely the driver is to act like a c0ck. So while I don't subscribe to the "all <insert name of car> drivers are rubbish" school of thought, I certainly subscribe to the notion that certain types of driver are much more likely to be driving certain types of car.

This is true! So very true. My Dad has treated himself to a BMW 5 series 3ltr sport. I may invent 'inertial dampers' so that when he accelrates my Mum's and Brothers eyeballs are not forced further back into their skull.

blackworx

Oh, and +1 for planet with Jezza vs planet without

si. d

I have to agree with the Audi drivers ruling. I was passed by an un-marked police Audi yesterday evening, at speed, lights and siren going, with about an inch to spare.

Also to further add weight to the claim: "Traffic cops" on TV the other night (always a good laugh), an Audi driver got a severe telling off from a police man on a motorbike for driving like an idiot.

CiB

BenS999 wrote:

Note to ChrisinBicester :

I firmly believe that if any driver knowingly disobeys the rules of the road – as in your said case – its fair game to follow the offender and when they stop (and it’s safe to do so without endangering other motorists/ cyclists/ pedestrians/ and possibly Audi drivers although I really wouldn’t worry too much about them) beat the said offender within an inch of their lives. You would then have the right to have the offender banned from driving for life, and be allowed to sell his car and keep any proceeds as a reward for the good work achieved. 
Clearly the offender in this case was fully aware he was in the wrong, and this somewhat course method should only be applied in such events. If it was a genuine mistake then he would have noticed this whilst in the left lane, and indicated to move over – also by way of courtesy he would have looked over and made eye contact with the driver to his right who being a reasonable and responsible person would have realised the driver had made a simple error and allowed him to pull in front. The manoeuvre would have ended with a simple friendly wave and not two fingers and increased blood pressure meaning no one would have arrived at work in a foul mood.

Who’s with me on this one?

Not me. We all make mistakes from time to time; best is to acknowledge the error and move on. I didn't mind one jot that Mr BM had got himself in the wrong lane - it's a common mistake there; I was half-expecting it and let him go anyway - but his reaction made him look like a twonk tbh. That's the issue. Audi / BM / Volvo / Ford / Wartburg et al drivers are all as likely to be in the wrong place, fail to indicate their intentions, drive around with sidelights on, use their fogs when it hasn't been foggy for days, drive at 35 in a NSL, dither at junctions, pull out when not safe, tailgate, park in disabled or parent + toddler bays, and wear driving gloves. They can do this all they like as far as I care, but when they do, I'd rather they didn't react as if it's somehow my fault for being on the receiving end of their incorrect decision and therefore due a dose of aggression from the offending numpty. If you get something wrong, live with it. Don't give me a face full of abuse just cos I happened to be the one who was affected in some minor way by it.

Ban em & string em up? Nah - smile & wave. It throws them a bit.

cjcp

It's the Audis that have caught my attention this week, but an increase in the number of scooters that are being driven by complete choppers. Has this bus lane thing or the cold air gone to their empty heads? They'll be mounting the pavements next.

_Brun_

I'm glad someone mentioned Audis. Has anyone seen that new Q5 telly ad with the cardboard box and quite annoying tune? I made that, and can assure everyone that the scribbly guy is definitely a c0ck. Have you seen the way he does his hair in the mirror, the pillock.

iain_j

I don't get the paper Jezza writes in but i've read a couple of the compilation books, "And Another Thing" and whatever the other one's called. I laughed my head off all the way through. More people need to tell things like they are, like he does.

EDIT: The World According To Clarkson. That's the other one.