Cycling/Family Balance

singlespeedexplosif

2yr old and 5mth old here, never have problems getting the training in. You just have to make the most of what time is available to you. Commute, train at lunchtime, turbo in the evenings as above.
I can never understand how people claim that they just can't get a long ride in. I manage a 5-6 hour ride once each weekend. It just involves getting up a bit earlier. I can do a 5 hour ride on a Sunday and be home for a late breakfast with the family at 9, rest of the day to do things together.

Tom Butcher

ut_och_cykla wrote:

Tom Butcher wrote:

I'm all for being a new man - but when you have to get agreement from the missus to get a turbo trainer or the wife bans you from training after dark then haven't things got a little bit out of hand ?

I 'm not sure its got anything to do with new man - its called politeness in my book. If your wife wanted to use say your garden shed for e.g. knitting when you were in bed - she'd ask wouldn't she and you'd say ok then but please don't leave teh needles around for me to impale myself on.

Family commitments are just that - for the family to deal with - both of teh adults and even teh kids in as far as they can for thier age. Communication avoids problems later on surely

Er no I wouldn't expect her to ask me - I might expect it to come up in conversation that she intended to use the shed for knitting but it wouldn't be something I made the decision over whether she could or not. Similarly I would probably tell her I'd just bought a turbo trainer - I wouldn't ask permission to do it - and I'd find having to ask if it's OK to ride my bike when it's dark a bit bizarre to me but each to their own. We've managed OK for 20 years and three kids so I don't think we can be doing too much wrong.

athers08

My problem is work/training balance. Although my gf thinks I have a work/training/life balance issue.

My story is I separated in Jan this year (not because of the cycling) but suddenly had all this time on my hands, I started getting out on the MTB again, and by summer, in an effort to get fitter for MTB Marathons, I ended up going out on the tarmac - I'm now addicted to the road.

I have two kids (to a prior cycling widow) and they are 14 & 13. I see them twice a week, and given that they are now teenagers, and prefer to keep themselves occupied when they come round playin xbox etc, they are more than happy for me to jump on the trainer, even when they are here for an hour.

I can even nip out for a 2 hour ride on a saturday morning and be back before they are even awake!

However, my job is really stressful at the moment, and some nights I dont get back in until 6.30/7pm which by that time, I'm starvin, and I dont have the energy to train on the turbo.

This p's me off!

My plan is to do 4x1 hour sessions on the turbo during the week, then a 2 hour ride, and a 4 hour ride at the weekend, during winter.

I'd be happy if i'm doing 10 hours a week, during december and january.

I have a gf now, and I've told her from the outset, that she ranks behind work, my kids and cycling! Shes cool with that (for now), but at least she knows where she stands.

Shavedlegs

can never understand how people claim that they just can't get a long ride in. I manage a 5-6 hour ride once each weekend

I don't see why not. I can't manage a long ride. My kids wake at 5.30 am, breakfast is at 7. I'd have to start at 1am, which would be fine if I didn't have to make it through the rest of day. I do sometimes ride between 10 and 1am, but it worries my wife.

I lose a bit of stamina and am prone to cramp on long races but I tend to be the break by that point and manage to hang on.

xover_runner

The year before I trained on a fixed, 4 nights a week between midnight and 2am.

Shaved - that just makes me feel inadequate on so many levels. Chapeaux

Anonymous

Its all give and take....

If your out too much and dont take an interest in the family then your a selfish git.

If your always supporting the family and still get hassle when you try and get out then your wifes a selfish git.

If both parties are reasonable then theres no need for any hassle.....as you will come and go a bit and so will she?

You obviously are not happy with your situation...this could lead to more family riffs than simply having it out with your missus?...if you are being reasonable then what the big deal?...ask her?...if the answers bollocks then just get out on the bike and make a stance (or forever hold your tongue )....

I've 2 children...aged 10 and 14.....I've had guys gasp when I told them I was taking my bike on our hols...where it be down to Flamingoland...or where it be to Tenerife or Gran Canaria....why?.....Its my holiday aswell?....and these places have provided me with some of my very best cycling experiences...my wife doesn't mind one bit...(and If I were to lounge about a bloody pool all day it would drive me nuts)....if I go for a fortnight to Gran Canaria etc I usually go out 3 times on my bike for around 6 hours...big deal?....different scenario if my kids were very small and took a huge amount of looking after...but in my present circumstances its perfect...I'm happy and my family is happy.

But there is some scary partners out there who look on any hobbie there partner has as a direct threat...and are super unreasonable as a result...even if its a great hobbie that keeps you fit & healthy...better just getting rid of these people out your life IMO....

liversedge

Wot richyboy said. Spot on.

320DMsport

Well said richyboy, to many people think they own one another, it's not a rehersal just be fair with your partners and get riding.

yogi

My wife tends to nod off to sleep around 10pm

Blimey mines asleep by 9 !!!!!!

Fair dues though she is very understanding of the cycling obsession but then it runs in her family too. I'm currently getting both wife and daughter out riding and my mother-in-law's just bought a bike at age 73.

A good ploy I find, if you want to get out at the weekend, is to actually organise a ride with other people, that way you can say that you are 'letting other people down'.

Cycling and exercise is very important to the mental state, I'm climbing the walls if I don't ride for a few days. You could try that one too.

simon_e

As you can see, people (and their other halves) have different ideas of what is acceptable or desirable. It's up to you to balance as you see fit. Yes, the weather has been particularly cr*p recently but these are the darkest days of the year. I'd be tempted to say "it will get better" but don't want to get your hopes up. But it should get better. Are there any spin classes at a local gym? The dedicated cycletrack at Sundorne sports centre in Shrewsbury is used a couple of evenings a week, perhaps there's a facility you hadn't considered.

I have to make do with commuting. I keep saying I'll fit a weekend ride in yet haven't done so for ages. Night riding doesn't do it for me, the scenery is a significant part of getting out. My kids are 7 and 5 and growing up fast. I miss them enough 5 days a week so don't want to extend that to weekends too. For me that's family time even more than 'me' time. I won't knock others' choices but IME young children benefit from lots of time, not what people term "quality time". You can never get those years back... though I'm finding it hard to get the fitness back too

tarmac_rider

I have a wife and 2 children F9/ M5 and I work for the Australian Military, so my working committments are quite substantial. Although it has taken sometime to find the right balance, I think I ma there.
Most of my training is done on my 25km commute to work, always done as hard and as fast as possible. It is an undulating route so the legs get a good workout. Tuesday mornings I leave a little earlier in order to meet up with a few firends for a sprnt interval session at the local crit track before heading off to work. Any other sessions are done on the rollers at home.
I have started up track racing again to aid my road/crit racing, and that only involves the one track session a week.

Regardless of what racing I have though, there is always one day on the weekend that is devoted to family time. This allows me to spend the time with the family doing whatever needs to be or we would like to do. Seems to work well, just took a little compromise and negtiation to keep all family members happy.

Now my F9 is interested in track racing so I might get a little more bike time, but i get to share that with her. I hope M5 takes it up to then we can all do it together.

kieranb

aas othes have indicated don't give up hope for the future, my kids are now 7 and 10, I train on my commute and do a 5 hour weekend ride as well (baring school fairs birthday parties etc) on a Saturday morning. It's a great help if your wife has her own hobbies as well, my wife goes singing twice a week, book club etc. Also I used to think I should stay at home to spend time with my children but found to my bemusment that after an hour or so they would go off and do their own thing and then it was too late to make the club run etc so now I don't feel so bad going away for a whole morning. during the spring, summer I'll do early morning sessions - either turbo or a local circular route (late night sessions just completely mess up my sleep) and one evening race (local crit) a week.

drummer

Two girls 4 and 7 and a 10 week old puppy.

It's not getting any easier now!!

BUT I try to commute by bike as much as I can and get in a really good ride at the weekend.

BUT I can be a little addicted & obsessive (so my MRS says!) on things so I find I can become really frustrated if i don't get my way and get out for a spin!!