What's the oddest things you've found when on a ride?
OffTheBackAdam
Posts: 1,869
For me, a huge stache of porn mags, dumped over a wall at the top of the climb over Bealey Moor. (Up past the Devonshire Arms, for those who know it!)
All rather soggy, but myself & "The Lads" had a good read, whilst partaking of the Icecream Man's fayre.
An odd place to dump them, visions of some embarrassed bloke having been read the riot act by his new (first?) serious girlfriend.
All rather soggy, but myself & "The Lads" had a good read, whilst partaking of the Icecream Man's fayre.
An odd place to dump them, visions of some embarrassed bloke having been read the riot act by his new (first?) serious girlfriend.
Remember that you are an Englishman and thus have won first prize in the lottery of life.
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a huge un exploded shell in france about the size of one of those really large bottles of french champagne, it was right in the middle of the trail after tons of rain just missed it!0
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A hair dryer. On top of a TV.0
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Old fashioned cast iron sewing machine, or the roof from an old defender.
I took the sewing machine home as it looked nice and would have made a cool ornament, but I promptly lost it over the next year.0 -
OffTheBackAdam wrote:For me, a huge stache of porn mags, dumped over a wall at the top of the climb over Bealey Moor. (Up past the Devonshire Arms, for those who know it!)
All rather soggy.
Hopefully soggy with rain or dew rather than certain other liquids.
David"It is not enough merely to win; others must lose." - Gore Vidal0 -
I've mentioned this before - empty rampant rabbit box in a lay-by ha ha ha0
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Never really seen anything odd, just the odd used condom thats all really.0
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Hey there,
I cycle past an abandoned cooker/oven most days. What kind of scumbag just dumps a cooker out in the country when there's a recycling centre a couple of miles away? Maybe an excessively long prison sentence would deter would-be dumpers.
Cheers
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Some other junk...0 -
ride_whenever wrote:Old fashioned cast iron sewing machine, or the roof from an old defender.
I took the sewing machine home as it looked nice and would have made a cool ornament, but I promptly lost it over the next year.
In the nicest possible way, how do you lose a sewing machine?
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Never really seen anything odd, just the odd used condom thats all really.
Obviously not left near where OffTheBackAdam was riding!
FCN 3 or 4 on road depending on clothingjedster wrote:Just off to contemplate my own mortality and inevitable descent into decrepedness.
FCN 8 off road because I'm too old to go racing around.0 -
OffTheBackAdam wrote:a huge stache of porn mags, dumped over a wall
Me and my friends quite regularly found carrier bags filled with jazz mags when we were young. So much so that I now firmly believe it was some sort of embarrassed, 70's sex education attempt by the local government.0 -
Me and mate were doing Exmoor Killer Loop. Lst bit is a road section. Come up past this burning hedge, with an old couple standing there. shes muttering to hersefl. 'Its a burning dogs head, burning dogs head it is, for sure.' Old boys going, 'dont be daft, its not a burning dogs head'.
'It is' shes says, 'burning dogs head, kids threw it out of a car window'
Turns out it was just a load of old yellow pages or something.
Im pretty sure the old dear was the gossip of the town though.
I wanna get old and mad like that.Be excellent to everyone.
(Bill S Preston Esq, Ted Theodore Logan. 1989)
650B - bouncy0 -
A toilet, just by the side of the road, I was almost tempted.......
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Crashed helicopter on the Wicklow Gap in 1998.
Turned out to be a prop from the dragon film "Reign of Fire" which was being shot beside the road.'This week I 'ave been mostly been climbing like Basso - Shirley Basso.'0 -
Don't forget to report stuff to the local council - mine's very good at clearing away all the roadside crap when it's been reported.0
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I'm fairly sure I cycled past some doggers onceYou live and learn. At any rate, you live0
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[I think I told this story before on the old C+ forum]OffTheBackAdam wrote:For me, a huge stache of porn mags, dumped over a wall at the top of the climb over Bealey Moor. (Up past the Devonshire Arms, for those who know it!) All rather soggy, but myself & "The Lads" had a good read, whilst partaking of the Icecream Man's fayre.
An odd place to dump them, visions of some embarrassed bloke having been read the riot act by his new (first?) serious girlfriend.
A few years ago, a very unfit me was on a cycling holiday on the Costa Blanca. I'd climbed to Guadalest and was slowly ascending the road from Guadalest to the village of Confrides when I came across a hardcore porn mag lying open in the middle of the road. Hmm, there's a very unfortunate pun there... :oops: Er, I discovered said mag! I had more important things on my mind so I ignored it and continued my extended meditation on the inadvisability of overweight, unfit cyclists tackling long trips over Spanish mountains...
A few minutes later I heard voices behind me and turned to see a group of younger cyclists rapidly catching up on me. Soon they passed and I noticed that they were speaking German. One lad was riding no-hands (twice as fast as me :? ) because he was holding that porn mag and pointing out various fascinating photographs to his mates. I don't speak much German but it was fairly obvious what they were saying - "Ho, ho, ho, ach ja, sie ist SEHR...!" They disappeared into the distance and I continued my lonely toil.
Eventually I spotted the Germans at a cafe in Confrides, sitting at a table and having an animated conversation about the magazine which they were openly passing around amongst themselves.
On I went, eventually over the pass and down a nice fast descent. I turned left off that road and eventually passed through another village (whose name escapes me) and began a tough little climb to the Puerto de Tudons at 1,000 m. I was really grovelling by then.
Then once again, I heard the sound of voices. The Germans shot past me with a hearty "¡Hola!" and as they disappeared up the climb ahead of me I heard them start singing German drinking songs. Oh, to be young and fit again... 0 -
I once found a large safe, empty, blown open, by the side of the road. Real old fashioned type with a big dial on the front. I reported it to the police, who weren't at all interested. It ended up sitting there for several months.
In the same layby a while later I found a still smouldering burnt out Jensen Interceptor, what a waste.
Also found a giant snake, dead, in North Kent, must have been 5 foot long. I guess it had escaped or was a dumped pet rather than a local.0 -
An abandoned puppy out in the "middle of nowhere". Maybe 5 miles from the nearest house. Have you ever tried to ride carrying a squirming puppy? Tried to put him in a jersey
pocket buy he would have none of that. Somehow made it to a farmhouse and the people
there were more than glad to have a puppy for their kids.
Dennis Noward0 -
Jez mon wrote:I'm fairly sure I cycled past some doggers once
tell us more0 -
I found my soul. The gear changing, helmet wearing fule.
FCN :- -1
Given up waiting for Fast as Fupp to start stalking me0 -
I disturbed a gentleman apparently in the act of having "relations" with a horse. And I thought Muffin The Mule was just an old kids TV programme. My face probably looked a little like this :shock: at the time.Jez mon wrote:I'm fairly sure I cycled past some doggers once0 -
BenBlyth wrote:ride_whenever wrote:Old fashioned cast iron sewing machine, or the roof from an old defender.
I took the sewing machine home as it looked nice and would have made a cool ornament, but I promptly lost it over the next year.
In the nicest possible way, how do you lose a sewing machine?
Well, I left it at my girlfriends, who took it on a crew date, and left it in a college lodge. When I went to collect it it had vanished...
All very strange really.0 -
Bronzie wrote:
I disturbed a gentleman apparently in the act of having "relations" with a horse. And I thought Muffin The Mule was just an old kids TV programme. My face probably looked a little like this :shock: at the time.Jez mon wrote:I'm fairly sure I cycled past some doggers once
you have got to be joking!!!!0 -
Jez mon wrote:
we've all done that in our youth haven't we? does this mean I'm a dogger? :shock:
Editing to add - definitely am not a dogger 0 -
A dead body
Just off Ash Ranges about 8 years ago. On our early Sunday Moring MTB ride there was this body lying there and his dog next to him. Called the police etc etc..
Apparently he was on medication and was living on his own and most likely went outwith his dog the night before. Toxicollogy showed alchol and perscription drugs in his blood stream and his body just couldn't cope.
2nd body I have found in the open now. First was when I was 15 and in the Air cadets (luckily we were in a group) and was a suicide victim in the Marlborough Downs. Lets just say he had used a shot gun and the body had been there for over 2 weeks - so wasn't the pretiest thing.0 -
popette wrote:
It was more the fact that there were more than car which made me suspicious.You live and learn. At any rate, you live0 -
No - it is however a memory I prefer to put to the back of my mind :xpopette wrote:you have got to be joking!!!!0 -
boybiker wrote:I found my soul.
me too! (Mine that is, not yours)
Popette, speak for yourself! Some of us have not (yet) done that on account of our first car being a 2CV in which it would be impossible.
In answer to Dennis' question about what to do with lost puppies, I saw a woman the other day who'd obviously found two of them. Her solution had been to stick them up her jumper, where they were still fighting. Boom boom!
sorry, I'll get my coat. :oops:0 -
pneumatic wrote:boybiker wrote:I found my soul.
me too! (Mine that is, not yours)
Popette, speak for yourself! Some of us have not (yet) done that on account of our first car being a 2CV in which it would be impossible.
In answer to Dennis' question about what to do with lost puppies, I saw a woman the other day who'd obviously found two of them. Her solution had been to stick them up her jumper, where they were still fighting. Boom boom!
sorry, I'll get my coat. :oops:
The puppy calmed down a bit when I was carrying him cradled in one arm. Still it was
a difficult ride trying hang on to him, ride with one hand, pray I didn't have to stop.
Dennis Noward0
