Silly commuting racing

blu3cat

Anyone fancy the seat next to me?

Not really, bit out of my way, but can I have your magic lights going green trick thingy - will swap it for my every lights a red magic.

Bassjunkieuk

Whilst I don't bring any tales of commuting success stories as my ride to work and home was devoid of other riders I have just had a nice surprise.
Thanks to my mum my first subscription copy of Cycling Plus arrived yesterday and I was just having a read through the "Work Ride Workouts" section on page 144 and what is the last technique they recommend?

Food Chain Numbers!!! It appears this thread hasn't gone un-noticed by the powers that be and we FINALLY have a mention in the magazine! ChrisLS even gets a namecheck :-D It gives a pretty rough and ready guide to the whole "sport" but was obviously written a few weeks ago as they only have us pegged @ 595 pages long

Bassjunkieuk

itboffin wrote:

pouring with sweat soaked to the bone and smiling happily to myself

It's this bl00dy heatwave! Even at a self imposed moderate pace this morning I still arrived at work all sweaty :-( Still it might make it easier to get seats at the morpeth on Friday if we all arrive "glowing" - still I'd much rather be sweaty on my bike that stuck in someone elses armpit (a problem with being "vertically challenged") on the choob :oops:

Christophe3967

Roastie wrote:

So, I'm happily (track) standing at a light on Borough High Street when this stupid twitbrain fat w@nk nut on a scooter forces his way into a non-gap between a motorcycle and myself. If I hadn't fallen out of it to the left he would undoubtedly have knocked my front wheel - it was just ridiculous.

So I say: "Hey! Give me some space." To that the twit just grins a stupid fat faced grin as if to say "So?"

I so wanted to hit him. The light turns green and I toddle off slowly (head cold, supposed to be riding slowly) - but the red mist gets the better of me and I chase The Stupid down. To be honest I wasn't sure what I was going to do, but...

Anyhow catch him. Stop and wait for him at the next light. Now he refuses to make eye contact. Sadly he beats me to the lights at Borough High St tube, and I match him from there to E&C where I finally get some air on him. Kicking his azz solidly into and through the second E&C roundabout.

Riding out the anger did good, and it felt fun to stick it to him sans engine given that he was trying to get away. Sadly on the A3 towards Clapham the traffic opened up and he rode off .

Maybe I should have just punched him. :evil:

Chapeau - you did exactly the right thing. He's sitting at home feeling like the tw&t he undoubtedly is... whilst you're able to bask beneath that halo you get when you've looked temptation in the eye and followed the path of enlightenment.

And its a moral scalp.

itboffin

@Roastie violence is never the way, well done beers on Jash

lost_in_thought

Bassjunkieuk wrote:

Whilst I don't bring any tales of commuting success stories as my ride to work and home was devoid of other riders I have just had a nice surprise.
Thanks to my mum my first subscription copy of Cycling Plus arrived yesterday and I was just having a read through the "Work Ride Workouts" section on page 144 and what is the last technique they recommend?

Food Chain Numbers!!! It appears this thread hasn't gone un-noticed by the powers that be and we FINALLY have a mention in the magazine! ChrisLS even gets a namecheck :-D It gives a pretty rough and ready guide to the whole "sport" but was obviously written a few weeks ago as they only have us pegged @ 595 pages long

Fantastic!! Yeah! I'm so going to find a newsagent that stocks it and buy it for my long and boring train ride tomorrow...

I've been doing some incognito riding in a dress again, emasculating roadies all the way from Mayfair to Ealing. AAaaaahahahahaaaa!

Also put the 'ram air scoop' to good use - but was wearing high-fronted bibs underneath so I doubt it had the full effect.

cjcp

Christophe3967 wrote:

Roastie wrote:

So, I'm happily (track) standing at a light on Borough High Street when this stupid twitbrain fat w@nk nut on a scooter forces his way into a non-gap between a motorcycle and myself. If I hadn't fallen out of it to the left he would undoubtedly have knocked my front wheel - it was just ridiculous.

So I say: "Hey! Give me some space." To that the twit just grins a stupid fat faced grin as if to say "So?"

I so wanted to hit him. The light turns green and I toddle off slowly (head cold, supposed to be riding slowly) - but the red mist gets the better of me and I chase The Stupid down. To be honest I wasn't sure what I was going to do, but...

Anyhow catch him. Stop and wait for him at the next light. Now he refuses to make eye contact. Sadly he beats me to the lights at Borough High St tube, and I match him from there to E&C where I finally get some air on him. Kicking his azz solidly into and through the second E&C roundabout.

Riding out the anger did good, and it felt fun to stick it to him sans engine given that he was trying to get away. Sadly on the A3 towards Clapham the traffic opened up and he rode off .

Maybe I should have just punched him. :evil:

Chapeau - you did exactly the right thing. He's sitting at home feeling like the tw&t he undoubtedly is... whilst you're able to bask beneath that halo you get when you've looked temptation in the eye and followed the path of enlightenment.

And its a moral scalp.

Yes, you did the right thing not belting him. (Says the man who has dished out some verbals to detritus, I mean, scooters, recently. :roll: )

Had a great ride home tonight. It was tit for tat with a swift SSer most of the way from Embankment - he was faster off the lights, but I had the edge over the longer stretches. The sweat was pouring off me. Had a couple of chats with him - nice chap.

There was a Cervelo man around (we caught him) until he RLJed and we didn't see him again.

Then did two laps of RP on the way home. Am a tad knackered.

biondino

Cafewanda wrote:

Shoulder of Lamb wrote:

Man I've gotta stop pissing off Yardies or I'm going to end up dead.

This morning I pulled up to a junction stopped in the "bike box" in front of the rest of the traffic and pulled away when the lights turned green. I took my normal assertive position and next thing I know, some pillock in a convertible BMW 7 series is driving alongside, face contorted with rage:

"WTFdo ya think ya doin? MOVE OVER"

I had and continued to follow the highway code and was moving at a fairly rapid pace for a bike, but I did at that point made a familiar "hand shuffling" gesture which he could clearly see in his rear view mirror.

Next thing I know, I've got snarling Yardie out of the Bimmer squaring up to me, and threatening something along the lines of "I'll put you in hospital", though he said it in his Jamaican brogue, which was a little more colourful and I don't remember the exact form of words.

The gestures and threats continued for the next mile or so as we regularly passed each other in startstop traffic.

Note to self: hold it down.

MTFU - he just trying to encourage your training. Invite him for a drink, I'm sure he'd appreciate it.

you could also say "one of my best BR forum member is of Jamaican-descent and she said I should tell you about your BC and PC and A-Z. So there!"

Dear Wanda,

I know you use the small font for rhetorical reasons and I really do appreciate that, but on the down side I can never read a sodding thing you write!

Yours affectionately,
Mark

biondino

itboffin wrote:

As such I choose the rolled up jeans short sleeved shirt and trusty SS outfit, busting out of Waterloo I hit traffic light pay dirt greens all the way to the north side of the river allowing a good min or so to spin that baby up to maximum warp thus ejecting a variety of cycling types in my wake.  At the lights I filter like an NYC messenger on crack, pausing briefly for the green and then BAM straight into the high 20's with not even so much as a sly grin as I blur passing the grazing herds of hi-viz & Lycra tarts.

You are DonDaddyD and I claim my five pounds.

greg66_tri_v2.0

Shoulder of Lamb wrote:

Man I've gotta stop pissing off Yardies or I'm going to end up dead.

This morning I pulled up to a junction stopped in the "bike box" in front of the rest of the traffic and pulled away when the lights turned green. I took my normal assertive position and next thing I know, some pillock in a convertible BMW 7 series is driving alongside, face contorted with rage:

"WTFdo ya think ya doin? MOVE OVER"

I had and continued to follow the highway code and was moving at a fairly rapid pace for a bike, but I did at that point made a familiar "hand shuffling" gesture which he could clearly see in his rear view mirror.

Next thing I know, I've got snarling Yardie out of the Bimmer squaring up to me, and threatening something along the lines of "I'll put you in hospital", though he said it in his Jamaican brogue, which was a little more colourful and I don't remember the exact form of words.

The gestures and threats continued for the next mile or so as we regularly passed each other in startstop traffic.

Note to self: hold it down.

Look. Simple solution for this sort of thing.

Big fella squares up to you. Slowly and deliberately dismount. Look him square in the eye.

Then suddenly switch to looking at something in the distance over his right shoulder. Go wide-eyed, point over said shoulder, and shout "Wow! Look at THAT!"

As he turns, take a half step back, then swing forward with a still-rising-as-it-leaves-the-stadium kick to his left shin. When he jumps onto one leg to cradle said shin, push him over. Then stand over him, and say with authority "Not such a big man now, are we, what what?

Ride off, feeling satisfaction of job well done *and* social justice dispensed.

I do this all the time. Results are guaranteed.*

PS Pray he doesn't catch you up.


* "guarantee" is used in a loose sense. Real loose.

itboffin

biondino wrote:

itboffin wrote:

As such I choose the rolled up jeans short sleeved shirt and trusty SS outfit, busting out of Waterloo I hit traffic light pay dirt greens all the way to the north side of the river allowing a good min or so to spin that baby up to maximum warp thus ejecting a variety of cycling types in my wake.  At the lights I filter like an NYC messenger on crack, pausing briefly for the green and then BAM straight into the high 20's with not even so much as a sly grin as I blur passing the grazing herds of hi-viz & Lycra tarts.

You are DonDaddyD and I claim my five pounds.

of man love?

Roastie

itboffin wrote:

@Roastie violence is never the way, well done beers on Jash

Thanks Jash, very kind!

In all honesty, I am a very non-violent person. I battle to remember the last time I hit someone, but then again I did suffer a severe concussion a few years back, so remember very little...*

*especially for Blondie

Tho' I must admit that I was about to make the same request to Wanda myself...

jonginge

Was pedalling squares along embankment this morning. There was a headwind, yes? Please say yes.

I have no scalp. Got done good and proper along chelsea embankment by a chap in white assos F1.13 bibs. Yep, the top of the range jobs. In White :shock: He was proper rapid, a couple of mph on top of what I could manage this morning (he was drafting the traffic but honestly he was better full stop). Need to get some miles in, and some speed work and, and, and some new legs, i think.

daver1

Being overtaken by someone in white assos bibs can't count as being scalped! That has to be the definition of trying too hard. There must be a bonus for scalping someone who chooses to spend that much money on white lycra shorts.

cjcp

JonGinge wrote:

Was pedalling squares along embankment this morning. There was a headwind, yes? Please say yes.

I have no scalp. Got done good and proper along chelsea embankment by a chap in white assos F1.13 bibs. Yep, the top of the range jobs. In White :shock: He was proper rapid, a couple of mph on top of what I could manage this morning (he was drafting the traffic but honestly he was better full stop). Need to get some miles in, and some speed work and, and, and some new legs, i think.

Hmmm, not sure about the headwind, but the heat makes this hard work.

Lean? Shaved legs? There's a chap who wears white bib shorts on the way home every so often and he drafts everything in sight. However, it's seriously hard work keeping up with him when he's not drafting.

cjcp

This morning: not much around, so retained my scalp without difficulty, but this woman on a kid's version of an Easy Rider style motorbike caught me eye. Actually, I should say ear.

I heard this sound behind me on the approach to DSC which resembled a male chipmunk that had been kicked in the nads. Then said motorbike eased by. I did a double take: that sound is coming from that thing? And you're happy to ride that in public? I felt obliged to have a shot.

Unfortunately, the temporarily disabled chipmunk-sounding bike had enough to fend me off through DSC and on the approach to VB lights. :oops: Ahem, yeah, JG, you're right: there was a headwind this morning.

gtvlusso

[rant]
To old doddery git that I overtake (overtake at speed) every night on the way home:

If you jump the queue at the lights one more time, I am going to get very angry. Every bloody night on Wellington hill - the queue of cars and cyclist waits at the light and you dodder past and then sit in front of the lead cyclist even though everyone has overtaken you. Are you completely thick?! Do you have issues with common sense?
Do you wonder why you get called a "jerk" every night by the 10 people passing you?
[/rant]

Anyway, all good, except I had to work until 11pm last night, boo. The delights of being on-call!

Nice ride in this morning!

cjcp

gtvlusso wrote:

Anyway, all good, except I had to work until 11pm last night, boo. The delights of being on-call!

A similar pleasure awaits me tonight. Ho hum.

Cafewanda

biondino wrote:

Cafewanda wrote:

Shoulder of Lamb wrote:

Man I've gotta stop pissing off Yardies or I'm going to end up dead.

This morning I pulled up to a junction stopped in the "bike box" in front of the rest of the traffic and pulled away when the lights turned green. I took my normal assertive position and next thing I know, some pillock in a convertible BMW 7 series is driving alongside, face contorted with rage:

"WTFdo ya think ya doin? MOVE OVER"

I had and continued to follow the highway code and was moving at a fairly rapid pace for a bike, but I did at that point made a familiar "hand shuffling" gesture which he could clearly see in his rear view mirror.

Next thing I know, I've got snarling Yardie out of the Bimmer squaring up to me, and threatening something along the lines of "I'll put you in hospital", though he said it in his Jamaican brogue, which was a little more colourful and I don't remember the exact form of words.

The gestures and threats continued for the next mile or so as we regularly passed each other in startstop traffic.

Note to self: hold it down.

MTFU - he just trying to encourage your training. Invite him for a drink, I'm sure he'd appreciate it.

you could also say "one of my best BR forum member is of Jamaican-descent and she said I should tell you about your BC and PC and A-Z. So there!"

Dear Wanda,

I know you use the small font for rhetorical reasons and I really do appreciate that, but on the down side I can never read a sodding thing you write!

Yours affectionately,
Mark

I thought you had perfect vision. You can't see that? :shock: :shock: I'll upgrade the font size next time

Cafewanda

Roastie wrote:

itboffin wrote:

@Roastie violence is never the way, well done beers on Jash

Thanks Jash, very kind! :LOL:

In all honesty, I am a very non-violent person. I battle to remember the last time I hit someone, but then again I did suffer a severe concussion a few years back, so remember very little...*

*especially for Blondie

Tho' I must admit that I was about to make the same request to Wanda myself...

:roll:

Kieran_Burns

Control key and the mouse wheel you blind git

jonginge

Kieran_Burns wrote:

Control key and the mouse wheel you blind git

Or Ctrl and + a couple of times then Ctrl and - to reduce again. Simples

Gazzaputt

2 nights running had great ride along the A20 out to Sidcup.

First one Monday in Assos gear ona crosser a Kenesis Crosslight with TPR brakes. Sleeveless top looked like a tri but the bike gave other ideas. Real fast pace loved keeping up with him on the C'dale Capo think it surprised him. He actually followed me I think when I turned off the A20 down to new Eltham.

Last another guy in Assos caught him on the hill and let him set the pace which was brisk. From the lights took a turn on the front bad had to turn off. Was on the Focus so got a real pace up to about 30mph which he kept with.

Love it when you come across serious guy and girls and don't have indulge in SCR but have a great pace setting ride.

will3

Met mr Fast MTB again today. Turns out he has skinny tyres, but even so he must be spinning like mad in his top gear to keep up at 20-25mph. Passed him at about half way though my route, thinking Oh bggr I'm gonna have to step on it now. Got near the end and thought he had turned off, so backed off a bit but, oh no here he is again creeping past. FFS mate will you just sod off or get a faster bike? I really can't be seen being passed by an old raleigh mtb can I? Stepped on it good and proper to show him what real speed was and then our ways parted.
Can't help feeling he'd be fast as if he had a decent bike!

I guess I'll have to up my fitness to be able to properly drop him!

Kieran_Burns

Hit a rabbit this morning Dumb thing just ran straight under the front wheel and then got the full weight of the back wheel and me over it's back...

When I turned around it was on the ground with its back legs kicking the air and dragging itself off. I'm hoping it was just stunned as it clearly hadn't got a broken back with its legs moving (I hope)




After that I met my first 'proper' commuter going the same way as me on the bridleway and left him for dust - he looked a bit surprised as I went past. I was as well as I was having a an easy ride in this morning (after all my record breaking over the last few days)

Roastie

Cafewanda wrote:

I thought you had perfect vision. You can't see that? :shock: :shock: I'll upgrade the font size next time

I reckon that you probably just have a better screen than sme of us ! The 7pt font is fine on my laptop, but completely illegible on the my company-issue machine...

Roastie

JonGinge wrote:

Kieran_Burns wrote:

Control key and the mouse wheel you blind git

Or Ctrl and + a couple of times then Ctrl and - to reduce again. Simples

Amazing the things you can learn while surfing the innernet .

lost_in_thought

JonGinge wrote:

Kieran_Burns wrote:

Control key and the mouse wheel you blind git

Or Ctrl and + a couple of times then Ctrl and - to reduce again. Simples

Indeed. Get it together, Blindie...

Porgy

Greg66 wrote:

[
Big fella squares up to you. Slowly and deliberately dismount. Look him square in the eye.
Then suddenly switch to looking at something in the distance over his right shoulder. Go wide-eyed, point over said shoulder, and shout "Wow! Look at THAT!"
As he turns, take a half step back, then swing forward with a still-rising-as-it-leaves-the-stadium kick to his left shin. When he jumps onto one leg to cradle said shin, push him over. Then stand over him, and say with authority "Not such a big man now, are we, what what?

Wow :shock: - does that really work? I've seen James Garner do that several times on the Rockford Files - always thought that no-one would be so stupid to fall for it in real life.

Mind you - what normally happens is that Rockford gets a severe beating in return later in the programme.

lost_in_thought

Porgy wrote:

Greg66 wrote:

Big fella squares up to you. Slowly and deliberately dismount. Look him square in the eye.
Then suddenly switch to looking at something in the distance over his right shoulder. Go wide-eyed, point over said shoulder, and shout "Wow! Look at THAT!"
As he turns, take a half step back, then swing forward with a still-rising-as-it-leaves-the-stadium kick to his left shin. When he jumps onto one leg to cradle said shin, push him over. Then stand over him, and say with authority "Not such a big man now, are we, what what?

Wow :shock: - does that really work? I've seen James Garner do that several times on the Rockford Files - always thought that no-one would be so stupid to fall for it in real life.

Mind you - what normally happens is that Rockford gets a severe beating in return later in the programme.

How big are you Porgy? Go find G66 and see.

He'll be easy to spot, he's the one dressed like a) a smurf or b) cartoon lucifer.