Your rants here.

clarkey cat

reminds me of that olympic women's weightlifting commentary

"And now on to Olga Bedyavicki from Bulgaria, a wonderful talent, I saw her snatch this morning and it was magnificent"

CiB

That was a Mark & Lard gag once on their horoscope feaure on Out On Blue Six - anyone recall that?

Anyway - Lard sets the scene: "Aries. You'll join a gym and meet an interesting lady weightlifter. She shows you her snatch and you demonstrate your clean hand jerk."

clarkey cat

"Faldo's recent run of form is apparantly down to the fact that his wife takes out his balls and kisses each one in the morning."

Drysuitdiver

clarkey cat wrote:

"Faldo's recent run of form is apparantly down to the fact that his wife takes out his balls and kisses each one in the morning."

he also had a caddy called fanny somethingorother.

another classic


Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny
Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to
use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."



http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/forums/show ... p?t=603219

thelawnet

riding down a residential road I hear a revving car, it's a black Range Rover coming out of the gym driveway. I pass and move towards the middle of the road due to the pedestrian island. Idiot decides to overtake me on the other side of the island, on the wrong side of the road. I give him a w@nker sign and keep going, passing him at the bottom of the road where there's a queue to turn right

nich

So I got one of those MD80 video camera clones on ebay for under £10 the other day.

Great little thing, was gonna take it to work and video the ole commute in.

Shame it found its way into the washing machine this morning.

It's now smegged in the bin.
:x

nich

Lots of annoying cyclists this morning (pull in front, pedal off slow, get passed).

Same group kept coming in front, after the 4th time I dropped the f-bomb, although quietly 8)

SimonAH

On the way home last night spotted a high viz cycling top powering away half a mile in front of me.

Not much in the way of SCR around me so big grin, head down and dropped the hammers.

Hard to keep him in sight because of frequent roundabouts but catch him as I peel out of the big roundabout by the town centre.

Rather a quicker catch than I expected.....

I find he's not only a nodder (in the biggest sense of labouring with each pedal stroke) but is actually using one hand to push down on a thigh to assist with power.

...................my legs are burning and I have the scalp of a BSO ridden by a stick man.

hatbeard

Had a silly bint try to drive into me doing about 20mph here last night.

I was following the road round to the right and she just sailed through the stop line luckily this happens pretty much every night I ride through here so I kept as far right in the lane to anticipate her doing it and not end up getting side swiped.

so far so calm

then the stupid cow finally seeing I'm there slams on her brakes and has the temerity to sit on her horn and shake her head at me as if I'd just cut her up.

I then turned the air blue with some choice language at a volume that she must have been able to hear clearly in her car because she then did the 1000 yard stare as we were stopped by the pedestrian crossing less than 100 yards up the road and refused to look at me.

I've actually become quite zen since switching the pig to fixed but this really got my back up for some reason.

Kieran_Burns

hatbeard wrote:

Had a silly bint try to drive into me doing about 20mph here last night.

I was following the road round to the right and she just sailed through the stop line luckily this happens pretty much every night I ride through here so I kept as far right in the lane to anticipate her doing it and not end up getting side swiped.

so far so calm

then the stupid cow finally seeing I'm there slams on her brakes and has the temerity to sit on her horn and shake her head at me as if I'd just cut her up.

I then turned the air blue with some choice language at a volume that she must have been able to hear clearly in her car because she then did the 1000 yard stare as we were stopped by the pedestrian crossing less than 100 yards up the road and refused to look at me.

I've actually become quite zen since switching the pig to fixed but this really got my back up for some reason.

It's obvious you just appeared out of nowhere. Clearly a pavement hopping lycra lout with no respect for the rules of the road.

You idiot. you should be ashamed of yourself for just appearing from nowhere like that.

notsoblue

hatbeard wrote:

Had a silly bint try to drive into me doing about 20mph here last night.

Have you noticed that today the little streetview fella is wearing a dress?

Tricycleboy

GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was born to cruise at 25mph, and you are in my fecking way, you nodding, hi-viz wearing, road rule violating, RLJing, kerb hoping, 'its sunny, i think i'll get the old hybrid out and try riding to work' sack of lard. There's only one bike lane and you and that peice of sh!t bike are clogging it up. x 500 (or so it feels) on my morning commute.

god I wish it was still December, freezing and wet so I can have the road back to myself.

sorry- shouldn't be so mean to my fellow cyclists, but i needed a proper good rant...

mudcow007

Tricycleboy wrote:

GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was born to cruise at 25mph, and you are in my fecking way, you nodding, hi-viz wearing, road rule violating, RLJing, kerb hoping, 'its sunny, i think i'll get the old hybrid out and try riding to work' sack of lard. There's only one bike lane and you and that peice of sh!t bike are clogging it up. x 500 (or so it feels) on my morning commute.

god I wish it was still December, freezing and wet so I can have the road back to myself.

sorry- shouldn't be so mean to my fellow cyclists, but i needed a proper good rant...

and breathe........

Cafewanda

Tricycleboy wrote:

GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was born to cruise at 25mph, and you are in my fecking way, you nodding, hi-viz wearing, road rule violating, RLJing, kerb hoping, 'its sunny, i think i'll get the old hybrid out and try riding to work' sack of lard. There's only one bike lane and you and that peice of sh!t bike are clogging it up. x 500 (or so it feels) on my morning commute.

god I wish it was still December, freezing and wet so I can have the road back to myself.

sorry- shouldn't be so mean to my fellow cyclists, but i needed a proper good rant...

Akshirly, I was NOT wearing high-viz, it was a red jumper and I only rlj'd cos the lights changed when I was way too close to jam on the brakes. And ennyway, Babygurl is not a BSO. She's a proppa bike, so there! :P :P


AND a tricycle's top speed is 15mph :twisted:

redvee

Had problems with my handset so got onto VM to use their tech support which was akin to a chocolate teapot so a swap was arranged for tomorrow. After playing online I've sorted it out myself and wanted to cancel the handset swap but VM won't, I've got to refuse the delivery when it turns up tomorrow.

soundninjauk

Whichever pissant decided to remove the ASL where Gt. Marlborough Street joins Regents Street in the current roadworks deserves a long, slow and painful death.

Unimpressed.

flicksta

02 - for locking over 18 sites. How am I supposed to surreptiously look at pictures of scantily clad birds now? I can't be bothered with your stupid age verification bollocks.

waving_sausages

I've learnt two things on the way home tonight

1st (and I'm really impressed if no one else is) i can bunny hop a brompton up a curb at 20mph. It wasn't pretty but I'm counting it.

and 2nd its not possible to catch a complete and utter piece of dirt driving down a dual carriage way at 40+mph, who had just forced me to learn how to bunny hop! To be honest its definitely a good thing!

Not Happy!!!! :x

jonginge

flicksta wrote:

02 - for locking over 18 sites. How am I supposed to surreptiously look at pictures of scantily clad birds now? I can't be bothered with your stupid age verification bollocks.

Yep, they did that without first informing the brands affected. Some of our clients (non-porn at the moment) were apoplectic

Mr Sworld

JonGinge wrote:

Yep, they did that without first informing the brands affected. Some of our clients (non-porn at the moment) were apoplectic

I see the recession is making people move into new markets then. When you do take on the new Porn clients do you think they will be employing ex-public service workers?

jonginge

Mr Sworld wrote:

JonGinge wrote:

Yep, they did that without first informing the brands affected. Some of our clients (non-porn at the moment) were apoplectic

I see the recession is making people move into new markets then. When you do take on the new Porn clients do you think they will be employing ex-public service workers?

Heh heh. We used to have clients who were in the porn business, it was too much money to turn down. Moved to another recession-proof industry since then, though. I was just making the point that to the mobile operators 'adult services' encompasses much more than just porn. Our main business is now gambling and gaming, which all fall under that 18+ umbrella.

notsoblue

Hmmm, my front wheel is creaking and making a rubbing noise and I can't figure out why. Grrrr.

jonginge

notsoblue wrote:

Hmmm, my front wheel is creaking and making a rubbing noise and I can't figure out why. Grrrr.

planet-x? Mine was also squeaking the other day. Swapped out the front tyre and the squeak was gone when I re-tightened the front wheel. Weird. (not suggesting the tyre was the cause of the sqeak)

mudcovered

JonGinge wrote:

planet-x? Mine was also squeaking the other day. Swapped out the front tyre and the squeak was gone when I re-tightened the front wheel. Weird. (not suggesting the tyre was the cause of the sqeak)

Possibly a QR skewer not quite tight enough. Wheel moves slightly in the dropouts causing a creaking noise. Took me nearly 2 weeks to figure that out the first time it happened to me. :x

Mike

bails87

flicksta wrote:

02 - for locking over 18 sites. How am I supposed to surreptiously look at pictures of scantily clad birds now? I can't be bothered with your stupid age verification bollocks.

Three do the same thing, you can get around it by changing the APN settings on your handset.

rjsterry

waving_sausages wrote:

I've learnt two things on the way home tonight

1st (and I'm really impressed if no one else is) i can bunny hop a brompton up a curb at 20mph. It wasn't pretty but I'm counting it.

and 2nd its not possible to catch a complete and utter piece of dirt driving down a dual carriage way at 40+mph, who had just forced me to learn how to bunny hop! To be honest its definitely a good thing!

Not Happy!!!! :x

Does yours have the catch that locks the rear triangle in position - some older models didn't have it? That could have been messy if not.

CiB

flicksta wrote:

02 - for locking over 18 sites. How am I supposed to surreptiously look at pictures of scantily clad birds now? I can't be bothered with your stupid age verification bollocks.

Covered recently elsewhere - http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/03/04/o2_filter/. The comments are the usual mix of incisive, on the button and of the right order.

dhope

Complete tool that pushed infront of another cyclist in order to try a suicidal squeeze up the inside of a bus to hop onto the kerb. Passed you again on the next straight. Funny that :roll:

mudcow007

the wind!

ever bleeding way i turned this morning it was right in my face grrr

i bet its not behind me on the way home either

roger_merriman

roadie in hampton hill if your going to have hivis saying slow dow etc on your back, riding like you stole the bike, ie very aggressive filtering etc does lead to a impression and not a good one!