Your rants here.

pastryboy

Took it very easy on the way home today, doing about 20 and spotted a car coming towards me wanting to turn right, went straight across me causing me to have to brake suddenly (god job I was going slow and very relaxed). Surprise surprise the twat was holding a phone to his ear.

will3

Fool cyclist pullling out into my path if you weren't on your phone you'd a) be able to concentrate b) be able to use your brakes
don't claim you looked and then blame it on me that you pulled out in front of me.

Now I have to clean your tyre mark of my chainstay.

whyamihere

Had a nice one today. I'm coasting up to the back of a queue at a 2 lane junction when I glance a car overtaking me and, predictably enough, he tries to cut into my lane. Unfortunately, the gap between me and the car in front is shorter than his car, so he's forced to stop at an angle, effectively blocking both lanes.

I tapped on the passenger window which had stopped right next to me. After 10 seconds of the occupants looking at me stupidly, the window was finally lowered. I had the following conversation with the driver:

Me: "That wasn't really very sensible was it, cutting across me like that?"
Him: "I had to get in lane."
Me: "You didn't have to overtake me."

At this point, the whale in the passenger seat (I believe it was probably his wife) pressed the button to put the window back up, which was a shame. I thought of plenty more things I could have said, given the chance...

unscarred

Second rant in two days, but it's all therapeutic!

People who ride motor scooters: you are not cyclists. The cycle lane is not for you, nor is the ASL.

I'm willing to be flexible on the ASL, there's plenty of space and if it's safer it makes sense to make use of it.

Similarly, when you're filtering through traffic, if it's safer for you to nip into the cycle lane briefly to get round that taxi, then why not?

HOWEVER, please acknowledge that as a real cyclist, I have priority in the cycle lane, and you should stop blocking it, or, in a few cases, apparently trying to force me out of it - where do you think I'm going to go, the pavement?

Oh, and unless you're doing the Knowledge or delivering pizza, get a real bike!

kurako

Hi. New to the forum but been cycling in London for the best part of 5 years.

What really gets my goat is posh tw*t cyclists around Clapham who think they've got the right to barrell around oblivious to the road conditions. In particular:

1. The woman this week who I passed as she had a go at a bus at Clapham North, who tried to squeeze around me at the first red crossing I got stopped at and then pushed her way in between me and some roadworks as I pullled away from the 2nd set of lights. She complained that she had to cos I was too slow to pull away. Oh that'll be because of all the traffic in front of me then. Stupid cow!

2. The guy a few months ago on a tandem with a small girl on the back. Squeezed between me and some cars as I coasted to a red light then swerved straight across my path when he was almost but not quite past. Cue a quick jab on the brakes and an effing c or so. He turned round at the (still) red lights and said, polite as you like, "I'm sorry is there a problem?". Yes actually, you nearly wiped out me, you and the small girl on the back. Tit!

Specialized Needs

KurakoCue wrote:

a quick jab on the brakes and an effing c or so.

This is one circumstance when I am glad I have a very 'squealy' front brake at the moment. I can make a point of things just by applying a sharp jab of the brake. It seems to embarass the offender, rather than putting their backs up when I have to augment a ninja stop with a comment to let them know.

Still, the other 99% of the time I feel stupid for not having bothered to 'toe in' my brakes yet :roll:

pastryboy

Doing about 22ish this morning and a car overtakes me, just as its rear came into my view he indicated and quickly turned left causing me to have to brake suddenly not to meet the side of the car.

Beginning to think I have the power of invisibility as that's the second time in two journeys someone has gone straight across me like I wasn't there.

CanalRider

Parked my bike up someone's ass today. Why do people with suitcases on escalators stop at the top? For god sake people move forward 10 foot then ponder the wonders of a modern concourse.

redvee

Black cabs :evil: Stupid ones aren't confined to London, they are also in Bristol. Making my way through freeling moving traffic between two lanes of traffic when the ;lane the cab is in stops so he decides to move into the right hand lane just as I get to him. He indicates then makes the move which means I have to swerve to avoid contact with his mirror. Should have broke the mirror as he obviously doesn't use it.

chuckcork

Todays rant...been a while since I've felt the need for one.

Off to pick up some club kit in a break from work, an old woman in her late 50's/early 60's who decides that she's faster than me so she passes me at a ped x'ing and the stops in front of me (I'm on my road bike). I'd passed her a few hundred metres before, and had to go around her again. Why did she bother? Did she think I was stopping for nothing, or is she fillling some desperate need to prove herself?

Then on my way back to work just about fainted mid-ride in the middle of a traffic queue (suddenly dizzy, went weak etc) so was taking it very gently. Too gently for some, just about left hooked by one idiot who decided I was too slow and just went around me to turn left missing by about 3 feet; had another woman who looked straight at me and just turned across my path so just about had to stop. Absolutely nothing behind me and she could have waited when I was struggling to move at all. Some drivers did stop at junctions when i was really moving slowly, their patience is appreciated. Helpfully copped every traffic light on red. Had to collapse into a chair in the office for 15 minutes with a bottle of water and 3 packs of charity biscuits to get my strength back. Think I was dehyrdrated, simply not drinking enough this morning after the run in (18 miles) and then to the kitmasters house (5 miles there and then back again)

Going home after work, still not feeling great, through berrylands and across a pedestrian bridge as ironically the cycle bridge was full of peds (what is it about cycle lanes that attracts them so?)

Thought I'd avoid the racetrack at Esher so went around the back of Esher racecourse, then cut through towards Hersham on a footpath in whats really an area of waste ground, results in coming across 2 No. f*ckwits in late teens/ early 20's, who thought it was a great laugh on the narrow path to have one push the other into me. Would have been a great laugh if they'd got the timing wrong and I'd slammed into one head on at 15mph rather than just the glancing blow. Are they inbred in the Walton on Thames/Molesey area? I know there's a lot of social housing around there, these 2 had the intelligence level of brothers whose parents were brother and sister. Will avoid this from now on, always been a bit suss about going around there and this just confirms it.

Then dropping down towards Brooklands on the B374, about 50m from a roundabout, in the right lane, signalling to go right, a Michael Winner lookaline in a Black Mercedes decides I'm too slow at 25mph in a 40 zone so just overtakes me at speed. Must have saved him, what, max 2 seconds with this maneouvre, with me on his tail around the roundabout?

Finished up with almost running into a near pile-up as a learner driver in a driving school car struggled to get through a large roundabout, 3 cars anticipating space that suddenly wasn't there all converged on the one spot....fortunately out of it but a near miss for all.

Saturday cycling, urgh. Too many cars, too litte space. At least in the school run/rush hour during the week the number of cars is high enough it slows things down to a sensible level, Saturday it seems the idiots get their once-a-week pass and use it with menace.

knappers

Had another comedian yesterday that thought, throwing some liquid substance over you when passing at high speed in a silver transit van on eland road Leeds was funny.

Bloody stupid retard needs a good swift kick in the bollocks if you ask me. :twisted:



Today's aresole of the day award goes to..... tosser in a silver transit van

BTW can we legally kill arseholes like these if we catch them?????

commuterconvert

London cycle route 23 elephant and castle down to crystal palace way.
I don't normally use the cycle routes because I don't like all the speed bumps in a lot of the roads generally poorer road quality & enjoy the SCR on the main roads but a friend recommended this as a great way for a traffic free route. I thought i'd give it a go for a change.
Cue rocks thrown at me by a little (9 or 10 year old I'm guessing) s**t standing outside a bunch of garages here:
http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?q=51.477993,-0.087401&num=1&sll=51.476603,-0.087174&sspn=0.006295,0.006295&ie=UTF8&ll=51.479218,-0.089607&spn=0.019404,0.038581&z=15
I turned round shouted and cycled fast toward him but he bolted down an alleyway. But seriously what was I going to do if I caught up with him anyway? I'm not the sort to go hitting schoolkids or anything like that! So best option would have been remonstrate and have him laugh in my face? Have all his mates appear from nowhere, etc, make all cyclists a target from then on?
No, of course I end up just turning around and cycling the rest of my journey with steam coming out of my ears, thinking about the state of the country etc etc.

Anyway, watch out if you are taking that route, maybe even go a detour round there.

rich_e

I've seen plenty of kids in the King's Cross area up to similar no good, whether it be causing trouble or stealing bikes.

At the end of Tavistock Place is a short section called Sidmouth Street with a set of lights that cross Gray's Inn Road. Cyclists can go straight across these lights, where there is a small gap in the pavement, cycle lane style for cycle traffic coming from either direction.

One night while I was at the lights waiting to go across, I noticed there were a bunch of hoodies waiting on the other side of the road on the pavement, but also a couple of them were stood in one of the entrances to the mini cycle lane bit. So it mean't the only option was to use the cycle lane entrance for if you were coming the other direction. Fine, it was dark and there was no other cycle traffic coming towards me. However, as I passed the section where they were standing I felt a really loud crunch as I went across it. Realizing straight away that they had put broken glass down in that bit, and by standing in the other part mean't that you have no option but to go over it. Luckily I didn't puncture, but what a bunch of s***ts!

Levi_501

Blue Focus !

Coming home tonight along Stamford Street (towards Waterloo) normal cruising speed, A blue Focus pass me fairly close, almost clipping me. Then slows down and nearly pushes me into the kerb going round the left hand bend just passed the ped crossing.

I am thinking, Hmm..., better watch outer here.

He speeds off, and then slows down, so my unchanged speed I start to pull along side him. Just as our front wheels are level, he switches the LH flasher on and turns into left into Hatfields Street :shock: At which time I am closly examing the paint on his bonnet !

Luckily I managed avoid contact, but I can rest assure you, I would not want to get much closer.

To my amazement, he beeps and shouts f***ing bikes ! :shock:

shouldbeinbed

Silver Rover (surely the car of choice for the clueless cretin everywhere) on part of a signed Oldham cycle route.

she was slowly edging out through a give way signed junction oblivious to the cars coming both ways. As I pull level with the front of her, she lurches forward and does her very best to put me into the hedge. I stayed upright and got back up to speed only for her to jam her anchors on, stop dead and wave at me through the rear window before driving off again. she nearly took off the motorbiker that was passing me at the time as well.

I see some sights on the roads round here but she's properly special.

Sailorchick

Thank you silver vauxhall corsa who demonstrated just how close you can get to my back wheel without actually touching this morning. Approaching the junction of Thomas Lewin Way at St Deny's. Traffic is in 2 lanes, right hand lane moving very slowly, and left hand lane almost empty apart from a cyclist in front of me and the corsa behind.

Absolutely no room for an overtake yet she must have been millimetres off my rear wheel. And if you had managed to squeeze past there was another cyclist in front so you weren't going to achieve anything. Made my ride in a tad more nerve wracking this morning, cheers.

saladfunky

They've just put a lovely new road surface down on my ride down the A5 from Dunstable past Markyate and it has been a joy to ride on it, but now the gravel is encroaching from the edges on junctions and it is building up slowly but surely. I HATE GRAVEL, can't ride on it for fear of coming off on it AGAIN!!!.!! I wish they'd sweep the roads every now and then. Now I am having to move out int othe traffic to get passed this gravel.
My little rant over :x

knappers

You should have a go at riding down Churwell hill, from Morley to leeds, the left half of the road is horrendous, roadworks upon roadworks, all done by incompetant idiots, even the Romans did better in their day without tarmac, absolutely lethal, if the roadworkings don't channel you into the curb or into passing cars, then the sunken manholes and water covers get you right between the cheeks, bad enough going down in a car.
Majority of third world roads are better than this one, and then you come to cycle lane all of 10 metres long, what a waste of paint, but then again this is Leeds city council were talking about. :?

Flasheart

The Romans actually did a good and thorough job on their roads (and bridge & viaducts)..not really fair to compare them to the lame excuses that contractors pass off these days
I say contractors as it's not normally the actual local Govt. that does the work thesedays

OSOH

Idiot woman on a bike the other day, decided to move out towards the centre of the road to avoid a drain cover (she could have gone to the left!), totally failed to look before moving over. I had started to overtake her, and was forced further and further over...she finally realised I was there on her right, and instead of apologising for the fact that she had forced me onto the other side of the road, she LAUGHED! Absolutely furious.

If she'd done that to a car, she could easily have found herself squashed; as it was, if there'd been oncoming traffic I'd have been in trouble, as she was going too slowly for me to get out of trouble by braking, but moving over too sharply for me to overtake. Annoyed me enough that she didn't bother to look first of all, but then to laugh at the fact she'd forced me into a potentially dangerous situation...unbelievable.

Specialized Needs

Perhaps the lady on a bike who was behind me crossing from the South side of Lambeth Bridge this morning is reading this. If so, I would like the opportunity to explain that I was aware that the traffic lights had changed to green and I didn't need you to be shouting "go, go, go, go" at my back. It is just that I have a certain aversion to squeezing down the 18" gap between the side of the flatbed truck turning left onto the bridge and the extra high kerb at that point. This was in case the truck had noticed that the lights had changed too, started moving forward and dragged its rear wheels over the cyle lane...

I would have explained this to you this morning, but when I looked back from the zebra crossing on the other side of the bridge you were only half way across :roll:.

Flasheart

CanalRider wrote:

Parked my bike up someone's ass today. Why do people with suitcases on escalators stop at the top? .

Was there anywhere to feed your DLock through?

kurako

Lights out at junction where buses come out of London Bridge station to go North over river. A bendy bus is coming out and there's no way I can get past it before it blocks off the lane. So I do what I normally do and hang back till its finished turning. Only problem is that the next set of lights have gone red and I find myself stuck behind a rather large hunk of metal which is kicking out the most god-awful stench. I know there's little point going past it but I decide to go round the outside because the smell is so awful. So far so good as I get to the white line and stop level with the drivers cab on my left and a taxi on my right. The next thing I feel is a bump on my back wheel to see a bloke on a Brompton (possibly the same one who just came out the station and tried to sneak round the left hand side of the bus - can't say for sure) gesturing for me to move forward so he can get in front.

I could have taken the time to explain my reasoning for not going any further but being put on the spot and not really too happy about some bloke touching my wheel and not even bothering to apologise all I could come up with was 'F*ck off you t*at'.

Not exactly Oscar Wilde but there you go. Rant over.

jedster

Not exactly Oscar Wilde but there you go. Rant over.

No, I reckon Oscar would have chosen just those words if he'd been on the receiving end of some rude and idiotic numpty cycling. Sometimes brief and to the point is exactly what is called for.

:twisted:

J

_Brun_

I reckon if a strange man violated Oscar Wilde's rear end he'd have been rather appreciative.

jetsstar1

So I was merrily cycling home last night, enjoying the settled September weather. I was riding along a village high street with parked cars on the left and I tend to leave plenty of space for car doors opening. Suddenly a chap in a flatbed transit swings his door open wide and jumps out. I just miss the door and him with a decent swerve. So I give the immediate shout of "Stupid tw&t" and then turn around point my finger at him and shout "Oi arseh*le look in your mirrors".

He gives a smug smirk and gives me two fingers, I was considering turning around and extolling the virtues of not door swiping cyclists in no uncertain terms. When I hear this muffled counter shout "Oi look where you're going". I was indeed still eyeing up this little sh1t behind me. The muffled shout was from a very cool Bob Marley lookalike walking down the street enjoying the show and looking cheeky with his remark. After that I had to chuckle and it quickly calmed me down. So many thanks to Bob and transit man you can go rot in hell.

rich_e

On my way home last night, I got to the crossing I take over Pentoville Road near King's Cross. There's a big que of traffic and I filter my way into the ASL, it then fills up with a lot of other cyclists.

Next thing I know, a Vespa comes shooting up the right hand side of the traffic, goes all the way past the ASL and stops. There were too guys on it who looked very young, I'm sure probably younger than 16. They certainly didn't look like they knew how to ride properly as they were wobbling about and the passenger looked like he was struggling. They then jump the red light and speed off.

Just as everyone has finished observing that stupidty, I feel another scooter pushing its way down the middle of me and another cyclist in the ASL and like the other guys carries on past it. It only just misses us, so I shout at him "WTF are you doing? You just jumped the light". So he turns around and I see the little ghetto rat, who shouts...

"Yeah, I know, cauze I iz gonna do a trick!"

He then does a wheely and zooms off at a ridicolous speed, again through a red light. I really wanted to see him fall off, that would have made my day!

Wallace1492

_Brun_ wrote:

I reckon if a strange man violated Oscar Wilde's rear end he'd have been rather appreciative.

Oscar Wilde was explaining to a doctor about a pain in his posterier, cased by falling on a sharp instrument, and cutting himself. He expained to the doctor that the wound was just an inch away from his rear entrance. The doctor took a deep breath, took of his glasses and said "Mr Wilde, in my profession, that part of the anatamony is exit only!"

hoolio

To the two twats on their mopeds who would have hit me last night if I hadn't taken evasive action, I hope you both got out of your beds this morning and immediately trod on an upturned plug.

kurako

Get stopped at lights on Clapham Common behind another cyclist. He certainly doesn't look like one of those speed freak Lycra Louts (TM - Daily Mail ) but neither is he old or fat. No worries he'll go at a half decent speed so I can wait a bit.

Lights change and off he goes. Slowly. Very slowly. Must be having problems with his bindings. It'll be ok in a minute. Hmm, trainers and flats and still slow. Must be fiddly toe clips. No toe clips. Still slow. I decide to go round, maybe he's injured, no worries off I go!

Clapham South. Bang! Red lights. Work my way to the front and guess who appears. Mr Slow. He goes past the stop line and stops way in the middle of the junction. That's a bit stupid I think. Never mind. wait for the lights to change and off I go.

Down Balham hill and get to the Waitrose. Bang! Another red light. What a sh*tty day! Work my way to the front wait for the lights to change then who appears again? Mr Slow of course. This time the lights change just before he gets level so i can get away with not too much bother.

Get to Balham Underground. Guess what? Another red light. F*ckin hell! Mr Slow appears again by the time the lights change.

Balham High Road now. Can see the lights just after the Argos. They're red. Then they turn green. These are the worst lights on the journey and I'm still quite far away. If I cane it I may get through. So off I go. Push push push almost there. F*CK!! RED!! Aaaaargh! These lights take forever to change. Mr Slow appears after a while and RLJs this one. Dick!

Crossroads at Tooting Bec now. Red light. Brilliant. Girl gets out the passenger side of a car in right lane (bus lane on the left) just as me and another cyclist are going by plus a car trying to sneak up the inside. Are you kidding me? She panics as she see car, runs in front of the bikes and I stop to let her go. 'Giggle! Thanks!' from her. 'F*ckin stupid' from me.

Lights still red! Mr Slow again. Finally lose him for good going into Tooting. Yay!

So what pisses me off the most? Has to be the little git in the traffic light control room who switches the lights to red just as I'm approaching. If I ever meet that little m*ther f*cker.......