Disgruntled neighbour woes - advice please

mitchell_inman wrote:

We have a couple of lowered ceilings with sound deadening in, which helps a lot, and will get round to doing them all. We love our house, so it's worth the investment.

Monkeypump wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

merkin wrote:

Strikes me that you have come on here asking for opinions and advice but haven't took any on board or made much effort to consider things from any perspective other than your own.
However, we have all got to talk about your shoes, your wives shoes and your kids shoes, then greg let us see some pictures of old shoes.

There is always presumptuous oik that has to set me off. Can you substantiate any of what you have just written. How do you know that I haven't referred Ms DDD to this thread, or given mention to it in conversation with her. Maybe I've taken up the issue of hardwood flooring and the lease agreement with the landlord. Maybe I've taken the advice that matters and have just continued the conversation as a means of venting frustration, this is a discussion forum after all. The fact is you just don't know, so before you go chiming in with the snipes how about you find out first, politely.

Paulie W wrote:

There is the danger of agreeing to the 'shoe request' that it's the thin end of the wedge. I had a downstairs neighbour who complained about footfall (a product of it being flats in a converted house and wooden floorboards) and the noise of the TV. We never wore shoes and tiptoed around, watched the TV with subtitles late at night in an attempt to assuage him - he was a bit intense! Then he complained about scraping chairs and suggested we get rubber stoppers for the legs! Frankly, it made living in our flat a miserable experience because we were always worrying about making noise.

This is my point, if its not one thing its another. Feet/shoes aren't the source of the problem, nor is it my son crying at night, us talking, my son playing with hard toys (oh yes, he attemepted to suggest what toys my son should play with by giving an example of what toys his kids play with). It's the flat. It's been 4 - 5 months and nothing has changed he says, yes it has (my son sleeps through the night for one, but the guy can still hear him i.e. my son turning over in his bed or stiring as people do) and he is even more militant now - when we first moved in my son used to put on Mummy's shoes and walk around in them, I thought it was cute but when realised the level of sound that was making stopped him doing that. Now the guy is complaining about one morning, months later, when my partner was wearing flats. The problem is that he can hear us and no matter what we do he will always be able to hear us.

I don't think any one thing is going to satisfy him beyond the installation of soundproofining in the entire flat and its the legal standpoint that I'm looking for because I'll spend the rest of my time living there accomodating his requests. I've informed the landlord about the lease agreement/flooring but I don't think that's going to go anywhere.

Merkin seems to have hit the nail on the head, and a bit of a raw nerve.

Have you given any indication that you have taken any of the (very reasonable) advice on board? Yes, you may be continuing the conversation as a way of venting (or, as most of us would call it, b*tching), but you don't seem willing to concede a single point in this silly battle.

The least you can do is take you shoes off as you come in, and yet even this gesture seems beyond you. 5mins of shoe-clacking will easily be enough to disturb someone, and then the damage is done. I know 'compromise' isn't a word generally in your vocabulary, but perhaps you should try it.

Obviously I'm just another oik, but I honestly think this problem could be eased if you made a LITTLE effort. If he's then unreasonable beyond that, at least you can demonstrate that you've tried to meet him halfway.