Disgruntled neighbour woes - advice please

rolf_f

jamesco wrote:

Rolf F wrote:

TBH, I think if you do shift work it is in your own interests to find somewhere to live where you aren't so easily going to be disturbed.

Dunno about that, most people who have to do shifts are doing it 'cause they don't have many alternatives - shift-work sucks for health/sleep/relationships etc.

I didn't say it was necessarily easy - just in the interests of the sufferer to help themselves. Bottom line is even if DDD makes an effort, this chap is still living in a flat below a 2 year old. It sounds like DDDs flat is made of cardboard. You don't necessarily pay a premium for a place with a ban on bare boards and walls made of something more solid than cocoa pops packets so it makes sense to find such a place. Besides, just because you are on shifts doesn't mean you are on low pay!

Davdandy

Not sure what the answer is apart from carpeting for starters.

In my opinion hard wood floors are hideous and should all be removed and burnt.I hate the damn things.If i wanted to live with a hard floor i will go and live in my shed.

But saying that i do sympathies as it is not your own flat do what you want to do.Good luck.

navt

Why can't you just get your neighbour to carpet his ceiling? That should solve the problem right?

greg66_tri_v2.0

Next time you go on holiday, leave some bass-heavy cd playing on repeat playing loudly.

For the duration of the holiday.

It's important to make a statement.

When he comes round complaining again, ask him if he'd prefer the cd back on.

*then* D-lock him.

FransJacques

Greg66 Tri v2.0 wrote:

Next time you go on holiday, leave some bass-heavy cd playing on repeat playing loudly.

For the duration of the holiday.

It's important to make a statement.

When he comes round complaining again, ask him if he'd prefer the cd back on.

*then* D-lock him.

Totally off topic, but you have Podio pedals. As in your run them on all your bikes. I am totally bowled over.

Please show us your shoes!

5milestogo

Save money on carpetting, and brighten up the place with SLIPPER BOOTS.

You can add underlay, store spares for visitors in cupboards, easily replace with rolls from the local recycling plant and go really wacko by mixing colours!

Otherwise ratchet up the noise a lot purposefully when you know he's awake, then quieten down to normal levels again - maybe he'll then understand what your capable of and keep the peace.

greg66_tri_v2.0

FransJacques wrote:

Greg66 Tri v2.0 wrote:

Next time you go on holiday, leave some bass-heavy cd playing on repeat playing loudly.

For the duration of the holiday.

It's important to make a statement.

When he comes round complaining again, ask him if he'd prefer the cd back on.

*then* D-lock him.

Totally off topic, but you have Podio pedals. As in your run them on all your bikes. I am totally bowled over.

Please show us your shoes!

Ookkkkaay...

Everyday shoes:





They are DMT R3s. They take that grey adapter plate that is specific to a cleat make, in this case Podio.

Some DMTs that I haven't got round to using





I have a third pair with a ratchet clip and a fourth pair somewhere.

Some original Merckx shoes. I ran a couple of pairs of these, one after the other for a few years before moving to the DMTs. The Velcro dies on the Merckx shoes iirc.





Note that the cleat mounts directly on the sole of the Merckx shoe, with fore/aft adjustment (it does too on the DMT, it's just less obvious)

Pedals (two styles - older original style are thicker and heavier than the new metal ones) and cleats (never used the high stack ones. Can't now recall why I have them. I think they fit a standard Look three bolt mount.





I've got a load of everything except the adaptor plates. I'm down to my last pair, and they've been is use for a while now. I should also say that I've got Keywin Carbon Tis on my P3 now in an effort to smooth the inevitable transition off the a podios when I run out of something essential. So far the Keywins are pretty nice, and light, but I'm not sure I like the float.

So, why the interest? Are you a fellow addict, errr, user?

Initialised

I think you should pay lip service and ask him to buy you some rugs unless he can prove you are making excessive noise by getting the police to come around with a sound meter.

In the mean time have a look at the Microwave Carrier ULF-UHF Induction Method: http://www.bugsweeps.com/info/electroni ... sment.html and slowly drive him nuts by playing dub-step and show-tunes down a microwave carrier signal directed at his tiny mind.

PBo

Greg66 Tri v2.0 wrote:

FransJacques wrote:

Greg66 Tri v2.0 wrote:

Next time you go on holiday, leave some bass-heavy cd playing on repeat playing loudly.

For the duration of the holiday.

It's important to make a statement.

When he comes round complaining again, ask him if he'd prefer the cd back on.

*then* D-lock him.

Totally off topic, but you have Podio pedals. As in your run them on all your bikes. I am totally bowled over.

Please show us your shoes!

Ookkkkaay...

Everyday shoes:





They are DMT R3s. They take that grey adapter plate that is specific to a cleat make, in this case Podio.

Some DMTs that I haven't got round to using





I have a third pair with a ratchet clip and a fourth pair somewhere.

Some original Merckx shoes. I ran a couple of pairs of these, one after the other for a few years before moving to the DMTs. The Velcro dies on the Merckx shoes iirc.





Note that the cleat mounts directly on the sole of the Merckx shoe, with fore/aft adjustment (it does too on the DMT, it's just less obvious)

Pedals (two styles - older original style are thicker and heavier than the new metal ones) and cleats (never used the high stack ones. Can't now recall why I have them. I think they fit a standard Look three bolt mount.





I've got a load of everything except the adaptor plates. I'm down to my last pair, and they've been is use for a while now. I should also say that I've got Keywin Carbon Tis on my P3 now in an effort to smooth the inevitable transition off the a podios when I run out of something essential. So far the Keywins are pretty nice, and light, but I'm not sure I like the float.

So, why the interest? Are you a fellow addict, errr, user?

Fella, having seen these shoes, I now have even more respect for you, that at the age of about 63, you completed an iron man.

First.Aspect

Stepping away from Greg's antique feet....

DDD in the interests of a quiet life (yours) why not just comply with the shoe request, or do your best to, undertake to get some rugs and move out asap, leaving the guy below you to stew over the next "loud" people. I would have thought that if you offer the concessions that people are suggesting, he needs to be told to stop bothering you. Firmly.

The guy who is complaining perhaps has unrealistic expectations of high density housing, and there is nothing more you can do about noise from children. Its also unrealistic to expect zero noise when a household is getting ready to leave for work. But its much easier to compromise in the short term and get into a formal dispute, even if you are right.

twist83

Having read this thread I am with DDD!! You are being reasonable, you have a child and there is an offer from the Landlord to split the sound deadening. If it was that bad surely he would do that?

Also as soon as you stop doing certain things he will no doubt hear another sound and complain about that. It sounds like you are under the circumstances not making excess noise and trying to accomodate him where possible. However number 1 is you and your family.

Just carry on as you are, be civil and polite. Try and be considerate where you can without being silly about it and leave it at that.

Buying unwanted rugs, not wearing any shoes in the flat ever, making a child play more quietly. Give over!! We all have to live our lives. It is not your fault he has to work shifts.

Are you sure it isnt ROLF that lives below you

DonDaddyD wrote:

merkin wrote:

Why don't both of you take your high heels off when you are clopping about in the house. It must be pretty noisy downstairs. 2 year olds are noisy, not a lot you can or should do about (within reason) that but they do get quiter and quieter as the years go by.

We don't wear shoes around the house. My partner left the house wearing shoes in the morning. He would like us to put them on last thing as we leave the house. I'm not having anyone dictate to me when I should put my shoes on in the morning. My partner got ready in 15mins today 7.45am and left the house at 8am shoes were on for what, 5 - 10mins of that time. I could understand if we were stomping around in shoes in the evening but that's not the case. And do you know how hard it is getting a 2 year old ready? He gets dressed in one go, shoes on in that process.

mroli wrote:

Dude - from what you've said, I don't think he's threatening you? I think he's just got into that position that he feels as though he can't sleep through your noise and that you don't care and that his life is going to be terrible forever.

I've explained to this guy that I'm only staying there temporarily, 12 months tops. Nope "we must get sound proofing". Our landlord offered him to split the costs "nope, we must get sound proofing". I know that I'm quiet because if I wasn't there would be noise from my stereo or complaints about talking - his issue is he can hear my son cry at night, play with toys and walking. We've put a mat down in my sons room to reduce the impact noise from his toys. It will always be something else, and in the end I'll end up living according to how he dictates and that isn't going to happen.

I've suggested ear plugs and told him he can soundproof his ceiling.

Why is it unreasonable to ask you to take your shoes off whilst in the house? Why would you even wear shoes in the house? I think that is a fair complaint.

I should be clear, we don't. This morning, Mrs DDD got ready to go to court and put her shoes on (I think these are a low heeled pump). She had her shoes on for 5 - 10mins before leaving the house - 7.50 - 8.00am

TBH, I think if you do shift work it is in your own interests to find somewhere to live where you aren't so easily going to be disturbed.

I don't he does, and what is more annoying is that at the end of the road are rail tracks to a well served station - train every 10 - 15mins and frieght trains in the night that shake the property as they pass.

BigLights

It sounds to me like there are 2 sides to this story. The dude below probably is genuinely being driven up the wall by noise, but equally it sounds like you're being pretty reasonable in terms of trying to keep it down.

My ex neighbour, who was really cool, when I apologised for our newborn crying all night once said to me 'look, we want to live in London, and have to conced that that comes with noise. If we wanted peace and quiet then we'd move to Surrey, wouldn't we, but that's rather dull'. Fair play to the guy, and very true.

twist83

I think you summed it up well! London unless you are filthy rich on live on the very outskirts which isnt really Londont then = Noise!!!

If you do not want noise, get rich or move!

rolf_f

twist83 wrote:

Are you sure it isnt ROLF that lives below you

Lol - it would be cold day in hell before you find me living in a flat. But I do plead guilty to not being a callous b'stard and, what's more, unlike some folk on here, judging by their advice, I'd probably get off!

DrLex

twist83 wrote:

If you do not want noise, get rich or move!

I did both; now I need an owl exterminator for truly quiet nights...

greg66_tri_v2.0

PBo wrote:

Greg66 Tri v2.0 wrote:

FransJacques wrote:

Greg66 Tri v2.0 wrote:

Next time you go on holiday, leave some bass-heavy cd playing on repeat playing loudly.

For the duration of the holiday.

It's important to make a statement.

When he comes round complaining again, ask him if he'd prefer the cd back on.

*then* D-lock him.

Totally off topic, but you have Podio pedals. As in your run them on all your bikes. I am totally bowled over.

Please show us your shoes!

Ookkkkaay...

Everyday shoes:





They are DMT R3s. They take that grey adapter plate that is specific to a cleat make, in this case Podio.

Some DMTs that I haven't got round to using





I have a third pair with a ratchet clip and a fourth pair somewhere.

Some original Merckx shoes. I ran a couple of pairs of these, one after the other for a few years before moving to the DMTs. The Velcro dies on the Merckx shoes iirc.





Note that the cleat mounts directly on the sole of the Merckx shoe, with fore/aft adjustment (it does too on the DMT, it's just less obvious)

Pedals (two styles - older original style are thicker and heavier than the new metal ones) and cleats (never used the high stack ones. Can't now recall why I have them. I think they fit a standard Look three bolt mount.





I've got a load of everything except the adaptor plates. I'm down to my last pair, and they've been is use for a while now. I should also say that I've got Keywin Carbon Tis on my P3 now in an effort to smooth the inevitable transition off the a podios when I run out of something essential. So far the Keywins are pretty nice, and light, but I'm not sure I like the float.

So, why the interest? Are you a fellow addict, errr, user?

Fella, having seen these shoes, I now have even more respect for you, that at the age of about 63, you completed an iron man.

Why, thankyouverymuch!

jzed

Greg66 Tri v2.0 wrote:

PBo wrote:

Greg66 Tri v2.0 wrote:

FransJacques wrote:

Greg66 Tri v2.0 wrote:

Next time you go on holiday, leave some bass-heavy cd playing on repeat playing loudly.

For the duration of the holiday.

It's important to make a statement.

When he comes round complaining again, ask him if he'd prefer the cd back on.

*then* D-lock him.

Totally off topic, but you have Podio pedals. As in your run them on all your bikes. I am totally bowled over.

Please show us your shoes!

Ookkkkaay...

Everyday shoes:





They are DMT R3s. They take that grey adapter plate that is specific to a cleat make, in this case Podio.

Some DMTs that I haven't got round to using





I have a third pair with a ratchet clip and a fourth pair somewhere.

Some original Merckx shoes. I ran a couple of pairs of these, one after the other for a few years before moving to the DMTs. The Velcro dies on the Merckx shoes iirc.





Note that the cleat mounts directly on the sole of the Merckx shoe, with fore/aft adjustment (it does too on the DMT, it's just less obvious)

Pedals (two styles - older original style are thicker and heavier than the new metal ones) and cleats (never used the high stack ones. Can't now recall why I have them. I think they fit a standard Look three bolt mount.





I've got a load of everything except the adaptor plates. I'm down to my last pair, and they've been is use for a while now. I should also say that I've got Keywin Carbon Tis on my P3 now in an effort to smooth the inevitable transition off the a podios when I run out of something essential. So far the Keywins are pretty nice, and light, but I'm not sure I like the float.

So, why the interest? Are you a fellow addict, errr, user?

Fella, having seen these shoes, I now have even more respect for you, that at the age of about 63, you completed an iron man.

Why, thankyouverymuch!

I don't think I've seen anything quite like those.

Anyway back on topic: we lived in a house conversion in Clapham for a while. Drove us mad. The flat above had their living room above our bedroom and their bedroom above our living room. They would spend all day being amorous in the bedroom, and then in the evening move to the living room, listen to TV loudly and a bit more amorous activity.

We then moved to a purpose built flat in Clapham Junction, and despite wooden floors, we never heard the neighbours below, at the side or on the roof terrace above. But if we opened the windows all we heard was buses.

We now moved to a detached house in Essex, and all we hear now is a 5.7 litre V8 twice a day. Its also replaced the noise of planes with the noise of birds. Incosiderate little things.

arran77

spasypaddy wrote:

what you need to do is go down there and move some of the power awesome from your thighs into your arms and smash his face in

I haven't read the rest of the thread but this is undoubtedly the most useful advice you'll get

madtam

Actually Colin's advice seemed to have a lot going for it as well.

I would probably have gone for either more rugs/mats or maybe carpets before now anyway, as I'm not a fan of wooden floors. However, as you describe things you seem to be acting reasonably at the moment. It is generally worthwhile trying hard to get on with neighbours so maybe both of you could try spending a bit of time in each others flats to have an idea of what the other side is doing and hearing.

TheStone

I have a similar problem with neighbours above. Stompers in an old creaky house and they work/live very strange hours.

I've agreed with the owner that we'll add some soundproofing when they leave, but I'm looking into adding something my side anyway.

Sounds like your neighbour has turned down offer to go halves on improving things, which puts them in a weak position, but the request to not wear shoes seems fair enough. Why would you wear shoes in the house anyway? Pop them on/off inside the door, let them know you're making that concession and it might improve things all around.

il_principe

Move.

DonDaddyD

I did some more investigating about the shoe situation because something didn't sit right with me. Ms DDD wears flats. Now I take my shoes off when I get to the living room. I then take my sons shoes off as he climbs and Ms DDD takes her shoes off as soon as she gets to the bedroom to change. This is routine, and takes no more than 5mins.

So the issue is in the morning.

If you've ever got a 2 year old ready in the morning you'll appreciate that his shoes go on in one go when he is getting dressed. If that's 10mins before we leave the house so be it. Getting him undressed is stressful letting alone putting the clothes back on - I may direct the guy to Michael Mcintyre's sketch about leaving the house with childre...

We both put out shoes on just before we are leaving the house but may walk through the flat with them on in the process to leave, 5mins tops. Next it'll be dictating the time we use the washing machine or hoover the flat. I'm not living like that.

Its an inconvenience but come on... I honestly think I put up with worse. Point in case, the guy watches match of the day on a Saturday night complete with cheers and roars. Now you don't see me knocking on his door asking him not to watch it then because my son is trying to sleep and requesting if he could watch it at 7.15am on Sunday, because my son is awake then and the noise less disruptive.

mitchell_inman

twist83 wrote:

Also as soon as you stop doing certain things he will no doubt hear another sound and complain about that. It sounds like you are under the circumstances not making excess noise and trying to accomodate him where possible.

This.

The flat above us has sanded floors. The feckers who sanded the floors had 4 kids and the noise was bad. We had a number of discussions with them about the situation, but I never asked them to tell the kids to shut up, I just focussed on the problem - they'd sanded the floors and increased the noise in my property. Simple cause and effect. Suffice to say I went up and offered to help them pack their boxes when the For Sale sign went up.

Thankfully a quiet couple have moved in. However, the noises from footsteps and loud voices still annoy the heck out of us, despite the vast improvement. Nothing short of restoring carpets with 2 foot thick underlay or them never again stepping on a floorboard is going to make me happy (although shooting the selfish gits who sanded the floors without talking to us first would come close).

We have a couple of lowered ceilings with sound deadening in, which helps a lot, and will get round to doing them all. We love our house, so it's worth the investment.

Unless he invests in the sound deadening, or your landlord fits carpets, he's just going to get some other unreasonable sod who wants to walk across the floor, or let their kid play.

merkin

Strikes me that you have come on here asking for opinions and advice but haven't took any on board or made much effort to consider things from any perspective other than your own.
However, we have all got to talk about your shoes, your wives shoes and your kids shoes, then greg let us see some pictures of old shoes.

Paulie W

First Aspect wrote:

Stepping away from Greg's antique feet....

DDD in the interests of a quiet life (yours) why not just comply with the shoe request, or do your best to, undertake to get some rugs and move out asap, leaving the guy below you to stew over the next "loud" people. I would have thought that if you offer the concessions that people are suggesting, he needs to be told to stop bothering you. Firmly.

There is the danger of agreeing to the 'shoe request' that it's the thin end of the wedge. I had a downstairs neighbour who complained about footfall (a product of it being flats in a converted house and wooden floorboards) and the noise of the TV. We never wore shoes and tiptoed around, watched the TV with subtitles late at night in an attempt to assuage him - he was a bit intense! Then he complained about scraping chairs and suggested we get rubber stoppers for the legs! Frankly, it made living in our flat a miserable experience because we were always worrying about making noise.

DonDaddyD

merkin wrote:

Strikes me that you have come on here asking for opinions and advice but haven't took any on board or made much effort to consider things from any perspective other than your own.
However, we have all got to talk about your shoes, your wives shoes and your kids shoes, then greg let us see some pictures of old shoes.

There is always presumptuous oik that has to set me off. Can you substantiate any of what you have just written. How do you know that I haven't referred Ms DDD to this thread, or given mention to it in conversation with her. Maybe I've taken up the issue of hardwood flooring and the lease agreement with the landlord. Maybe I've taken the advice that matters and have just continued the conversation as a means of venting frustration, this is a discussion forum after all. The fact is you just don't know, so before you go chiming in with the snipes how about you find out first, politely.

Paulie W wrote:

There is the danger of agreeing to the 'shoe request' that it's the thin end of the wedge. I had a downstairs neighbour who complained about footfall (a product of it being flats in a converted house and wooden floorboards) and the noise of the TV. We never wore shoes and tiptoed around, watched the TV with subtitles late at night in an attempt to assuage him - he was a bit intense! Then he complained about scraping chairs and suggested we get rubber stoppers for the legs! Frankly, it made living in our flat a miserable experience because we were always worrying about making noise.

This is my point, if its not one thing its another. Feet/shoes aren't the source of the problem, nor is it my son crying at night, us talking, my son playing with hard toys (oh yes, he attemepted to suggest what toys my son should play with by giving an example of what toys his kids play with). It's the flat. It's been 4 - 5 months and nothing has changed he says, yes it has (my son sleeps through the night for one, but the guy can still hear him i.e. my son turning over in his bed or stiring as people do) and he is even more militant now - when we first moved in my son used to put on Mummy's shoes and walk around in them, I thought it was cute but when realised the level of sound that was making stopped him doing that. Now the guy is complaining about one morning, months later, when my partner was wearing flats. The problem is that he can hear us and no matter what we do he will always be able to hear us.

I don't think any one thing is going to satisfy him beyond the installation of soundproofining in the entire flat and its the legal standpoint that I'm looking for because I'll spend the rest of my time living there accomodating his requests. I've informed the landlord about the lease agreement/flooring but I don't think that's going to go anywhere.

merkin

DonDaddyD wrote:

There is always presumptuous oik that has to set me off. Can you substantiate any of what you have just written. How do you know that I haven't referred Ms DDD to this thread, or given mention to it in conversation with her. Maybe I've taken up the issue of hardwood flooring and the lease agreement with the landlord. Maybe I've taken the advice that matters and have just continued the conversation as a means of venting frustration, this is a discussion forum after all. The fact is you just don't know, so before you go chiming in with the snipes how about you find out first, politely.
.

rick_chasey

Be reasonable - and the second he asks you to do anything beyond, hold your ground.

Soon, you'll hate him enough to not care what he thinks. Then you can make as much noise as you want, guilt free.


Consider yourself lucky he doesn't beat his wife / gf like my previous neighbour did. Was terrified one day the guy would doorstep me for calling the police on him.

Colinthecop

Rick Chasey wrote:

Was terrified one day the guy would doorstep me for calling the police on him.

That would be they day you introduce youself as an Admin on an internet forum so he realises you're not someone to mess with, then you'd knock him the fu*k out for hitting women.

8)

will3

2 years old already doesn't time fly.

Sounds like your neighbour has rather unrealistic expectations of living in a flat to me. Children exist, they play with toys they cry, shout, scream etc. They always have and always will. I rather suspect he did all this too whe he was 2. If you don't want the sounds of life around you, don't live in a (poorly insulated) flat.

That said, if you can find out when he's on shift and try and accomodate his sleep patterns I expect he'd appreciate it.