Disgruntled neighbour woes - advice please

PBo

Colinthecop wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

Was terrified one day the guy would doorstep me for calling the police on him.

That would be they day you introduce youself as an Admin on an internet forum so he realises you're not someone to mess with, then you'd knock him the fu*k out for hitting women.

8)

....make sure you are wearing the burnt orange trousers....

TheStone

mitchell_inman wrote:

We have a couple of lowered ceilings with sound deadening in, which helps a lot, and will get round to doing them all. We love our house, so it's worth the investment.

This is good to know. I have an expert coming soon to discuss ceilings. Do you know what they used and how much it cost?

mitchell_inman

We used sound insulating plasterboard like this stuff (http://www.noisestopsystems.co.uk/soundproofing-accessories/acoustic-plasterboard-12.5mm

We also used DFM acoustic insulation (50mm). We don't have much ceiling height to play with.

The last ceiling we had done cost £780, including 10 LED lights, and was a well finished job. Think it's a fair price based on the range of quotes we got (someone wanted over £2K!!).

It's made a difference - we don't get the clip clop of heels on the floor, and can't hear what the neighbours are saying about us any more

HebdenBiker

Move out of London and live in a house, like normal people :-)

Monkeypump

DonDaddyD wrote:

merkin wrote:

Strikes me that you have come on here asking for opinions and advice but haven't took any on board or made much effort to consider things from any perspective other than your own.
However, we have all got to talk about your shoes, your wives shoes and your kids shoes, then greg let us see some pictures of old shoes.

There is always presumptuous oik that has to set me off. Can you substantiate any of what you have just written. How do you know that I haven't referred Ms DDD to this thread, or given mention to it in conversation with her. Maybe I've taken up the issue of hardwood flooring and the lease agreement with the landlord. Maybe I've taken the advice that matters and have just continued the conversation as a means of venting frustration, this is a discussion forum after all. The fact is you just don't know, so before you go chiming in with the snipes how about you find out first, politely.

Paulie W wrote:

There is the danger of agreeing to the 'shoe request' that it's the thin end of the wedge. I had a downstairs neighbour who complained about footfall (a product of it being flats in a converted house and wooden floorboards) and the noise of the TV. We never wore shoes and tiptoed around, watched the TV with subtitles late at night in an attempt to assuage him - he was a bit intense! Then he complained about scraping chairs and suggested we get rubber stoppers for the legs! Frankly, it made living in our flat a miserable experience because we were always worrying about making noise.

This is my point, if its not one thing its another. Feet/shoes aren't the source of the problem, nor is it my son crying at night, us talking, my son playing with hard toys (oh yes, he attemepted to suggest what toys my son should play with by giving an example of what toys his kids play with). It's the flat. It's been 4 - 5 months and nothing has changed he says, yes it has (my son sleeps through the night for one, but the guy can still hear him i.e. my son turning over in his bed or stiring as people do) and he is even more militant now - when we first moved in my son used to put on Mummy's shoes and walk around in them, I thought it was cute but when realised the level of sound that was making stopped him doing that. Now the guy is complaining about one morning, months later, when my partner was wearing flats. The problem is that he can hear us and no matter what we do he will always be able to hear us.

I don't think any one thing is going to satisfy him beyond the installation of soundproofining in the entire flat and its the legal standpoint that I'm looking for because I'll spend the rest of my time living there accomodating his requests. I've informed the landlord about the lease agreement/flooring but I don't think that's going to go anywhere.

Merkin seems to have hit the nail on the head, and a bit of a raw nerve.

Have you given any indication that you have taken any of the (very reasonable) advice on board? Yes, you may be continuing the conversation as a way of venting (or, as most of us would call it, b*tching), but you don't seem willing to concede a single point in this silly battle.

The least you can do is take you shoes off as you come in, and yet even this gesture seems beyond you. 5mins of shoe-clacking will easily be enough to disturb someone, and then the damage is done. I know 'compromise' isn't a word generally in your vocabulary, but perhaps you should try it.

Obviously I'm just another oik, but I honestly think this problem could be eased if you made a LITTLE effort. If he's then unreasonable beyond that, at least you can demonstrate that you've tried to meet him halfway.

greg66_tri_v2.0

Monkeypump wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

merkin wrote:

Strikes me that you have come on here asking for opinions and advice but haven't took any on board or made much effort to consider things from any perspective other than your own.
However, we have all got to talk about your shoes, your wives shoes and your kids shoes, then greg let us see some pictures of old shoes.

There is always presumptuous oik that has to set me off. Can you substantiate any of what you have just written. How do you know that I haven't referred Ms DDD to this thread, or given mention to it in conversation with her. Maybe I've taken up the issue of hardwood flooring and the lease agreement with the landlord. Maybe I've taken the advice that matters and have just continued the conversation as a means of venting frustration, this is a discussion forum after all. The fact is you just don't know, so before you go chiming in with the snipes how about you find out first, politely.

Paulie W wrote:

There is the danger of agreeing to the 'shoe request' that it's the thin end of the wedge. I had a downstairs neighbour who complained about footfall (a product of it being flats in a converted house and wooden floorboards) and the noise of the TV. We never wore shoes and tiptoed around, watched the TV with subtitles late at night in an attempt to assuage him - he was a bit intense! Then he complained about scraping chairs and suggested we get rubber stoppers for the legs! Frankly, it made living in our flat a miserable experience because we were always worrying about making noise.

This is my point, if its not one thing its another. Feet/shoes aren't the source of the problem, nor is it my son crying at night, us talking, my son playing with hard toys (oh yes, he attemepted to suggest what toys my son should play with by giving an example of what toys his kids play with). It's the flat. It's been 4 - 5 months and nothing has changed he says, yes it has (my son sleeps through the night for one, but the guy can still hear him i.e. my son turning over in his bed or stiring as people do) and he is even more militant now - when we first moved in my son used to put on Mummy's shoes and walk around in them, I thought it was cute but when realised the level of sound that was making stopped him doing that. Now the guy is complaining about one morning, months later, when my partner was wearing flats. The problem is that he can hear us and no matter what we do he will always be able to hear us.

I don't think any one thing is going to satisfy him beyond the installation of soundproofining in the entire flat and its the legal standpoint that I'm looking for because I'll spend the rest of my time living there accomodating his requests. I've informed the landlord about the lease agreement/flooring but I don't think that's going to go anywhere.

Merkin seems to have hit the nail on the head, and a bit of a raw nerve.

Have you given any indication that you have taken any of the (very reasonable) advice on board? Yes, you may be continuing the conversation as a way of venting (or, as most of us would call it, b*tching), but you don't seem willing to concede a single point in this silly battle.

The least you can do is take you shoes off as you come in, and yet even this gesture seems beyond you. 5mins of shoe-clacking will easily be enough to disturb someone, and then the damage is done. I know 'compromise' isn't a word generally in your vocabulary, but perhaps you should try it.

Obviously I'm just another oik, but I honestly think this problem could be eased if you made a LITTLE effort. If he's then unreasonable beyond that, at least you can demonstrate that you've tried to meet him halfway.

^ advice on how to come second in life. Boo!

jedster

DDD,

These things are painful. TBH, I don't think you are doing anything wrong and if he has a gripe it is with your landlord for putting wooden floors in. When we lived in a flat in London, the lease forbid them in upstairs flats and for good reasons. My suggestions:

1. Write to him and copy it to your landlord saying that you are being as considerate as is reasonably possible but the limitation is the wooden floor.
2. Don't promise anything about removing shoes but do your best to take them off as soon as possible (sounds like you are doing this)
3. If the landlord is not going to fit carpet or buy rugs then consider buying a couple of rugs IF YOU WILL WANT TO KEEP THEM - don't feel obliged.
4. Consider moving out earlier than you planned. If you are limited by the lease, test the water with the landlord to see if he would release you early given it might be easier for him to have tenants without children?

Honestly though, I would just refer your neighbour to the lndlord whenever he complains. Changes to fixtures and furnishings are his issue.

DonDaddyD

jedster wrote:

DDD,
My suggestions:

1. Write to him and copy it to your landlord saying that you are being as considerate as is reasonably possible but the limitation is the wooden floor.
2. Don't promise anything about removing shoes but do your best to take them off as soon as possible (sounds like you are doing this)
3. If the landlord is not going to fit carpet or buy rugs then consider buying a couple of rugs IF YOU WILL WANT TO KEEP THEM - don't feel obliged.
4. Consider moving out earlier than you planned. If you are limited by the lease, test the water with the landlord to see if he would release you early given it might be easier for him to have tenants without children?

Honestly though, I would just refer your neighbour to the lndlord whenever he complains. Changes to fixtures and furnishings are his issue.

Thanks, I've pretty much followed the advice.

I've made it clear to the guy that he needs to speak to my landlord, and am aware that my landlord has attempted to contact him he hasn't responded.

If from a legal standpoint there is nothing more I have to do, then the guy will just have to live with it.

Koncordski

At least you just have to put up with him complaining to you rather than the other way around. The person who owned the flat above me let it out to students. I sold up and moved.

Cafewanda

Love this thread and there really does need to be a 'like' button.

DDD I'm in a similar situation except my noisy neighbour is below me and seems to think it's ok to be noisy and I'm not allowed to. Mind you, she does have 6 kids to contend with (yes, I am uncharitable to enough say she is selfish to have so many given her accommodation limitation) and clearly can't manage to keep them quiet after 9pm, but I've no kids so how dare I say anything?

My block is made of cardboard so we expected sounds to be amplified, but she should have kept the carpet and used birth control or stopped at 4 :twisted: .

DonDaddyD

Bassjunkie has 6 or so kids, didn't live in a 6-7 bedroom house, nice guy, appears to be a good Dad who loves his kids equally. Their not all bad; parents with multiple children and who don't appear to have the immediate facilities to house them all in seperate rooms... just saying.

Like this guy, I feel your pain Cafewanda. However, if it was a stereo, TV or something worthy of an ASBO I would sympathise more. However, and perhaps this is where having the experience of children lends a different perspective, if one has trouble falling asleep, sleeping etc then they are likely to wake the other children up. So it may not be a case as simple as 'keeping your kids quiet after 9pm'.

It's a situation I observed another parent having (and something I've given thought to should I have another): The parent (I observed) has a 4 year old who goes to bed but is a light sleeper, her 2 year old has trouble sleeping and will often cry at bedtime waking the 4 year old up who would then cry. This also worked in reverse, espcially if the 4 year old didn't want to go bed and through a tantrum - and no I don't advocate beating them into submission so that they are fearful and immediately go quiet at Sundown.

I can only imagine that with 6, however she arrived at that number, is going to be difficult to manage dinner, bathtime, storytime, pyjama time and bed time.

At least you just have to put up with him complaining to you rather than the other way around.

That's the thing, I could complain about a number of things people on the road do, I don't. I'm all about tolerance and giving people space. I lived next to students once, these guys were minted (they 2 new Mercs and a new Harley Davidson), the only time they made noise loud enough to bother I remember going to knock on their door and as I approached the house found myself just standing their in awe, jaw on the ground as I realised he was shagging the living soul out of some girl. Walked back indoors shouting "Get in my SON!"