The Lanterne Rouge 2023 Thread (definite spoilers)

Lanterne_Rogue

Stage 19:

Another quiet day for the Lanterne, but it was another day with tactical innovation: Nils Politt realising there was nothing in the rules to prevent him simply throwing the neutral service bike away and standing around looking like a lemon. I'm pretty sure they'll be closing that loophole because it threatens to turn the race for the Lanterne into a farce that people simply mine for cheap jokes. And I'm sure we don't want to see that.

Little Adrian and Elmar's Reindeers return to the top ten; nobody needs to see the list of riders finishing nearly 17 minutes down.

Lanterne_Rogue

Stage 20:

Today saw the end of an era as Pinot hit the front of the race and gave the French one final taste of disappointment. We will never see his like ag-

Ah, no. There's David Gaudu. Carry on.

In the Lanterne not a lot happened. Axel Zingle put in a remarkable - and utterly pointless - shift to increase his placing on the GC by a huge 5 places, rather than concentrating on the competition his talents are clearly better suited to. That's still less disappointing than realising the fun I could have had if his parents had called him Chris. Being next to Elmar's Reindeers on LR would have given us all sorts of fun. For a given value of "fun".

Elsewhere nothing much happened, a large group rolling in several minutes down and already dreaming of Paris and a well-earned rest. No such luxury for your correspondent, as the Girls of Pedally Towers prepare to roll again...

Jonas Rickaert took the penultimate stage, here's the underall ahead of Paris:

pinno

There is a cheap joke in there using the words 'through', 'grease' and 'Axel' but due to altitude sickness and fatigue from the long trip back from Wales where I had to hitch up hextra 'orse to get over 'ills (and then sell it), I cannot work it out.

One would think that I constructed a deep LR metaphor in the above but i'm not that clever.
I am resigned sadly to the end: the end of the the tour, the LR and my 10e.

me-109

What's Frisons tactic here? Show his face early, blow spectacularly so he can ride round slowly and make up time unsighted?

No_Ta_Doctor

me-109 said:

What's Frisons tactic here? Show his face early, blow spectacularly so he can ride round slowly and make up time unsighted?

Think so. He knows Mørkøv will be forced to sprint at the wrong end today

me-109

Little Adrian looking to find 25mins in 11km.

No_Ta_Doctor

me-109 said:

Little Adrian looking to find 25mins in 11km.

And they're just about to neutralise GC

Lanterne_Rogue

Stage 21:

So here we are - three weeks, 21 stages, 2,115 miles and god knows how much pointless verbiage after we set out, we can finally crown Michel Mrkv as this year's Lanterne Rouge. It's been an exciting ride, featuring the usual shenanigans, hilarity, and tales of daring don't.

On a difficult stage for an escape Little Adrian and Rui Costa found the wherewithal to slip away - a group attack at the end from Jumbo Visma was somewhat embarrassingly organised after the official timing point. With a lack of detail like that they'll never win anything...

Adrian takes the stage honours, Mrkv the underall - it's been a fun three weeks, my hearty thanks for everyone who joined in, and now we get to do it all again with the women...

Plat du jour:



Place des invalides:

ddraver

to LRH

mididoctors

Morkov had an unassailable lead for a while . Not a vintage tour

No_Ta_Doctor

Lanterne_Rogue

mididoctors said:

Morkov had an unassailable lead for a while . Not a vintage tour

Rare serious point here - given this is the thread where the more humorous events tend to end up, it's felt a bit empty. I think the focus on the front end of the race - which was absolutely superb for the first couple of weeks - meant that there simply wasn't enough time to look for other things that were happening. I feel like that's both a good and bad thing as a viewer.

orraloon

I've enjoyed. More please...

ddraver

Lanterne_Rogue said:

mididoctors said:

Morkov had an unassailable lead for a while . Not a vintage tour

Rare serious point here - given this is the thread where the more humorous events tend to end up, it's felt a bit empty. I think the focus on the front end of the race - which was absolutely superb for the first couple of weeks - meant that there simply wasn't enough time to look for other things that were happening. I feel like that's both a good and bad thing as a viewer.

Oooh, I don't know. Remember how unassailable Fedorov seemed in week 1. I thought it was dead and buried. Mrkv's heroic plunge in the rankings was outstanding. although it did kill the GC for week 3...

A very poor showing for the local interest though, France really misses Jerome's Cousin.