Beans walk jolly stroll adventure in pictures

pinno

@sungod

It started off with 'i'm the king of the castle and I can bash your baldy coup' if I climb this tree



Then that innate hesitation in cats combined with momentary lack of purpose



A quick pull of the claws before... action



'Action' means stalking me



Then meeeeeeeeeeoooooooooow as he passes me at a ton but the picture is a blur which is where I cut to the edge of the drainage ditch and for some inexplicable reason, the moment requires a clean



...and so I leave him and carry on up the hill. He does not venture past the ditch after that horrendous rain and snookered by cows incident. It's a lovely evening.
Beans will make his own way back when he feels like it.
I will be heading over there where those hills are tomorrow and on to the moors.

sungod

could be a new series: one man and his cat

though beans will see it as one cat and his man

pinno

To kick this evening epic adventure with Beans thread, is a pic of my Honeysuckle in full bloom:



He took some persuasion seen as the dodgy stop out tramp has gone awol with the better weather at night.

Beans of the Serengeti:



As you can see, the silage is being prepared for bailing.
Normally, if there are tractor monsters whizzing about the field, Beans legs it indoors.
I left Beans studying the ditch. and took a walk up the hill and came home the long way around.
In the foreground is the hedge where the ditch is worth studying .



Ffwd 1 hour and the whizzing tractors went around and bailed the silage. No Beans. Was he bailed up? Was I going to have to go through them and find the wriggling one?

So I shook the treats bag and he legged it at full gallop across the field back home from the direction of the hedge.
Happy, purring. He must have hunkered down and prayed.

beansnikpoh

Nice honeysuckle, nice curl on bean's tail.

pinno

beansnikpoh said:

Nice honeysuckle, nice curl on bean's tail.

The smell, this late evening with no breeze to blow it away was stunning.

pinno

This evenings jolly has more twists and turns than a Curly wurly and loyal subscribers will be treated to exclusive specials!

First, we see the mighty apex predator Beans on the wild expanses of the Scottish savannah.



He is carefully weighing up his quarry.



But before that, the first of the exclusive specials: a picture of the moon:



The quarry: a splendid fat crow (near the ditch that's worth studying). Catching the fat crow would expand a feline ego, add kudos and have added street cred if caught. Though, perhaps the crow was on a jolly too and perhaps he took pictures of us, the moon, the ditch and the hills over there.



But alas, the crow wasn't for playing the Wildebeest or the Thompsons Gazelle or a Warthog so we arrived at the ditch worth studying. And it was obviously worth studying. From the south side:



Then the inexplicable happened. A giant leap for master Beans - he crossed the ditch to the north side. I mean, you weren't expecting that were you? This is the first time he has been to the North side since that horrific snookered by cows and rain incident.

He jumped too quick and was out of shot but at least I had the pleasure of an unexpected picture of the north side of the ditch worth studying.



There was momentary hesitation, trepidation, palpitation and other words ending in 'tion' but the sun on his left flank on the north side of the ditch meant that the sun was in a more southerly direction which framed him (and this confused the heck out of me now that i've read what I just wrote back).



Doesn't Beans look splendid in the light with his new black flea collar and matching red Trixie bell. The Trixie bell is designed to be loud and make him work extraordinarily hard if he wants to catch a feathered friend.



I left Beans to study the ditch from the South side after he crossed back over and further along and to the west a little and up slightly whilst I went up the hill to take a picture of the hills over there.



Can you spot Beans?



No, I can't either.

Light at 9pm. Enjoy the scenery and greenery because when Rick becomes PM and gets rid of the green belt, this will all be 'when I were a lad, this were all fields':



And now, after the nail biting and thrilling rollercoaster ride of this evenings jolly, the unparalleled excitement (even more than Roglic vs G) - of a mega spot the Beans competition. The winner picked by me personally on my own will receive a 'like' from the other entrants. I said; the winner WILL receive a l 'like' from the other entrants.
The competition is open to all (even Chelsea FC supporters) and entrants can use photoshop, a sharpie, drawing pin or even trigonometry, I don't care.
Put one x where you think Beans is:

beansnikpoh

1. Cat is top right. Though I suspect some form of knavery.
2. You walk with your cat, and it follows you? Or do you follow it?

pinno

beansnikpoh said:

1. Cat is top right. Though I suspect some form of knavery.
2. You walk with your cat, and it follows you? Or do you follow it?

2. It's a bit of both (i'm not answering the first one because I find this suggestion highly probable).

I generally have to encourage him a little and sometimes I lift him up so he can survey the area (like a Meerkat, the twit) but once he gets past the magical and mysterious bubble wall that is just beyond the physical perimeter of the house, he's off. Sometimes at 100 mph, sometimes just behind me, stopping often. Sometimes he'll even come and find me at around 8ish as if to see if I am going out.
I wish I had chronicled Jack because he would follow me for miles but Beans is still only 2 and a bit so there's hope.

sungod

i reckon...



he's stealthy, but cunning use of high pass filter found his cute ears

pinno

Not a bad effort SG but not a good effort either.

sungod

ooo

pinno

sungod said:

ooo

Braverman, Sunak and Hunt?

pinno

I do apologise, that would be ***.

sungod

mine was "ooo pinno is so mean"

MidlandsGrimpeur2

Thoroughly enjoying Beans and his adventures. George aka 'the ginger ninja' is a bit of a wuss and doesn't venture beyond front/back garden.

He has been in a standoff with the magpies all week. They keep congregating on the roof and dive bomb him when he sits on the side wall. One of the idiots swooped down on him on Tuesday and was inches from certain death as the ninja just got the tip of his claws to it!

pinno

MidlandsGrimpeur2 said:

Thoroughly enjoying Beans and his adventures. George aka 'the ginger ninja' is a bit of a wuss and doesn't venture beyond front/back garden.

He has been in a standoff with the magpies all week. They keep congregating on the roof and dive bomb him when he sits on the side wall. One of the idiots swooped down on him on Tuesday and was inches from certain death as the ninja just got the tip of his claws to it!

That home boy ginger Ninja will stay safe.
I'm pretty sure Beans is now venturing across the road.

pinno

What a jolly, what an absolute bonus feature awaits you; the loyal followers of master Beans (the tw@t).

It started off with "Are you coming or what?".
This elicited much yawning and looking about the place.

Despite this potentially ignominious start, things went along at a pace.

The usual run around the Mulberry bush was relegated. I was treated to a Paddington stare:



However, Beans ventured out on the arid and slowly disappearing Savanah; desertified without a goat in sight. The long drought continues as the dust swirls around on a drying Easterly. My Adidas adventure boots are testament to the conditions:



Undeterred by the dryness under paw and with a steely determination in his stride, Beans marched on and triggered Jimmy the spy camera (clad in Macintosh Tartan camouflage).



Finally he reached the periphery of the ditch worth studying on the northern edge of the lower slopes of the perilous Smithy Hill. Offering life and a fertile oasis of hope. A green line which breaks up the parched landscape. Something caught his imagination:



...and then the pounce of the deadly killer Beans into and almost lost in the thicket:



But alas, not all hunts are successful despite the sensitivities of 4 paws to vibration, 2 keen ears, eyesight to be envious of, a sense of smell not to be envious of and the personality of a plonker.

So the ditch worth studying was traversed. But before that, a picture of a genuine Scottish tree:



The potentially lethal, ticking electric fence was negotiated with ease and dismissed.



The following sequence of events are quite earth shatteringly epiphanous. Beans followed me all the way up to base camp through the greener, cooler strip of land like a verdant belt separating the craggy peak and the baked base. I was attempting to scale the dizzy inclines to take a picture of the hills that are over there. This was deep into the snookered by cows and rain incident territory.





I left him studying the eastern flank of the middle kingdom in rarefied air. Beans had reached a staggering altitude of 41m.



High on the craggy, windswept hill, Beans was thousands of inches below me. Just a dot in the distance.



Despite the breathlessness and headache due to the lack of oxygen, I felt compelled to overcome to take a picture of the hills (where I was today) over there:



As I wandered back down the steep slopes (unassisted), re-unification with my fellow explorer was sweet:





...until he tried to chew my arm off. Full attack mode:



Suffice to say, I extracted my limb before it was ripped from it's socket. I think it was partly due to me duping him by rattling a tissue packet and calling him as if it were the treats bag.



However, the purpose was to move him away from the gate that leads to the alpine highway heavy with traffic; at least 1 tractor per day. The highway; carved by ancient Pict hands goes to the left of the looming, brooding peak that is Smithy Hill and opens the doors to the Southern Upland Himalayas, North Rhins region.

I left Beans and over in the distance was some Cumulus nimbus. Could this be the rains and an end to the drought? Just a false dawn I think.



I doubt I shall see Beans for a while because the moon is out once again, Casting it's silvery light over the bleached and barren landscape.

masjer

Wow, that had a bit of everything. It reminds me of Born Free, but on a smaller scale.

pinno

masjer said:

Wow, that had a bit of everything. It reminds me of Born Free, but on a smaller scale.

Couldn't have described it better.

beansnikpoh

Travelogue and safari all in one.

homers_double

That's 15 seconds of my life I won't get back...

pinno

Epic, London Evening Standard *****
Thought provoking, The Guardian *****
Deeply Moving, Readers Digest *****
We ran out of verbose prose for the first time in history such was the deep complexities and implications which accentuated the correlation between the profound impact it had on existentialism and it's association with Pineapples, NYT *****

...and that was just the critics response to the chapter about the ditch worth studying.

Super evening.
Beans and I ventured north. And what an adventure. An adventure to the summit.
But first, a picture of the Hawthorne in flower.



It was an arduous trek



The old crow was keeping his beady black eye on us



Don't think Beans hadn't noticed



I left Beans at base camp with the radio listening to the weather reports and ventured on. On and up to the giddy peak of Smithy hill. I was dizzy. Some say it was the effects of the C19 booster I had but the experienced ones will tell you it was the altitude and the sheer brutality of the ascent. I preferred not to take oxygen; there is a purity in ascending a mountain under your own steam. Nothing but sheer determination
The going was tougher than expected and I was running out of time before being plunged into the pitch black and the certainty of being frozen to death. My shadow is testament to how late in the day it was



I didn't think I would reach the summit. It seemed endless, futile even



In the end, the perseverance paid off. What a view! Metropolis to the right of me



Wild shoreline to the left



Tuscany? Pah!



And the cream of the view: the reward for risking life and limb and frostbite, certain death with just one slip. Laid out before me: the vast alpine region of the North Rhins with Rowlands peak, majestic and lit up with the fading sun in the distance



Beans got extra treats (with catnip) on my return. His reward for manning base camp all on his own and keeping an ear out for weather reports. A picture of relief

pinno

***Breaking news***

It's difficult to bring such bad news but the Beans Jolly walk in pictures is cancelled.

On account of the slurry. (B4stards).
However, all is not lost.

In the absence of the Beans Jolly walk in pictures adventure, we have an exclusive Beans caption competition.

It's hot and Beans is unhappy because he refused to believe that I couldn't change the weather. I mean, I can magic up catnip treats but I cannot change the weather. Yeah right.

sungod

beans sets out unassailable justification for making him world president

orraloon

"I am so going to make life hard for you."

sungod

when you're this cute, you don't need a caption

masjer

"If I was just that bit bigger, I'd make him wear a fucking collar and bell."

pinno

***COWS COWS COWS***

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv3oDHGXdKI

Yes, this evenings Beans jolly walk adventure was well and truly snookered by cows in the adjacent field.

Before that realisation, Beans triggered the robotcam placed strategically next to the watering hole (pond water tastes far better than tap water, even Jack knew that).



So we wandered to the big rock at the bottom of the plains for a vantage point.
Look at that gate, like a wise old Lion:



There they are. Too many for Beans to take on:





So this called for much pontificating, sitting and thinking





Alas, no Beans walk jolly adventure.

Stevo_666

Maybe they freaked him out a bit?
https://youtu.be/FavUpD_IjVY

pinno

This is as far as we got:

sungod

pinno said:

This is as far as we got:

beans looks back as pinno trails far behind