colonoscopy

pep.fermi
pep.fermi Posts: 383
edited December 2022 in The cake stop
Next year I turn 50 and I was suggested to have one.
I'd like to lower the chances that my wife becomes a widow, and daughter an orphan, earlier than necessary, so I'll go for it.
But it doesn't sound much fun. :#

Comment anyone?
You had it done?
Or maybe you it's part of you job doing it to others?
«1

Comments

  • ugo.santalucia
    ugo.santalucia Posts: 28,321
    I am surprised they offered you one. My wife wanted one because her mum had cancer and she was dismissed on many occasions.
    NHS seems a postcode lottery these days... free prescriptions for some, not for others, criteria not very clear... some scans and tests offered to some but not to others...

    But yes, not much fun at all
    left the forum March 2023
  • pep.fermi
    pep.fermi Posts: 383
    Thanks. I reside in Germany, perhaps this makes a difference on why they suggested it.
  • orraloon
    orraloon Posts: 13,254
    edited December 2022
    I thought from previous post (the nasty landlord one) that OP is non UK resident, so nowt to do with NHS lotteries. Edited: cross post....

    I had one done in 2019 as a check after blood traces found in the pooh sample test, nothing bad found. Process is ok, though the in advance bowel clearing effects can be... interesting.

  • pep.fermi
    pep.fermi Posts: 383
    orraloon said:

    OP is non UK resident

    Deutschland.
    Never mind I'm neither Brit nor German.

  • Munsford0
    Munsford0 Posts: 680
    It's hilarious. You get to take an osmotic laxative to completely empty you out. Don't ignore the advice to stay strategically close to a toilet. You might want to moisturise your sphincter beforehand; it's going to see a lot of action...

    Then you need to be nil by mouth for a few hours before the procedure which, coupled with the laxative, leaves you seriously dehydrated. This usually gives you a banging headache, and they may struggle to find a vein for the sedative canula. My last one went in the back of my hand which was a bit ouchy.

    Then when you're suitably drugged up and assuming the foetal position they insert the device, and to help them take a good look round they inflate you like an airbed. But they don't deflate you afterwards, so while you're waiting for the sedative to wear off, and indeed for the next few hours, you'll be farting like a geriatric donkey.
  • laurentian
    laurentian Posts: 2,552
    After seeing GP 4 times and being diagnosed with something different each time, finally had a colonoscopy last year. Munsford pretty much has it nailed. I must admit, apart from the obvious unease at the situation, it was remarkably OK.

    Make sure you read the instructions on the laxative properly . . .mine was supposed to be sipped over an hour, not, as I did, downed like a Rugby Club challenge in one go. I wish I'd weighed myself before and after this.
    Wilier Izoard XP
  • capt_slog
    capt_slog Posts: 3,974
    Munsford0 said:

    It's hilarious. You get to take an osmotic laxative to completely empty you out. Don't ignore the advice to stay strategically close to a toilet. You might want to moisturise your sphincter beforehand; it's going to see a lot of action...

    Then you need to be nil by mouth for a few hours before the procedure which, coupled with the laxative, leaves you seriously dehydrated. This usually gives you a banging headache, and they may struggle to find a vein for the sedative canula. My last one went in the back of my hand which was a bit ouchy.

    Then when you're suitably drugged up and assuming the foetal position they insert the device, and to help them take a good look round they inflate you like an airbed. But they don't deflate you afterwards, so while you're waiting for the sedative to wear off, and indeed for the next few hours, you'll be farting like a geriatric donkey.

    Well, that was clear and to the point. Good info, thanks. I've never had one and I'm not on the cords for one either, but it's good to know what to expect.

    There was a story on the radio once about the laxative. The chap had taken his a day early by mistake, and then had to ask for another dose. :)


    The older I get, the better I was.

  • pep.fermi
    pep.fermi Posts: 383
    Munsford0 said:

    a vein for the sedative canula.

    Oh, I was missing this.
    Sadated like kind of sleepy but still awake and largely aware, right...?
  • Munsford0
    Munsford0 Posts: 680
    capt_slog said:


    There was a story on the radio once about the laxative. The chap had taken his a day early by mistake, and then had to ask for another dose. :)

    Google 'Picolax thread' I think the original was on a mountain bike forum. Same story.

    I wouldn't be wanting to do that 2 days on the trot. Pun very much intended

  • orraloon
    orraloon Posts: 13,254
    pep.fermi said:

    Munsford0 said:

    a vein for the sedative canula.

    Oh, I was missing this.
    Sadated like kind of sleepy but still awake and largely aware, right...?
    Aware enough to watch the images on a screen by the side of bed / platform, which was interesting...
  • pep.fermi
    pep.fermi Posts: 383
    edited December 2022
    Is it done in an hospital, or in an room more like an "office" but just with a bed?
  • orraloon
    orraloon Posts: 13,254
    In my case, a specific unit in a hospital. Camera scanner equipment required plus facilities for taking and processing samples. I had some 'benign' polyps found, and watched as medics removed for testing. I recall being pretty chilled and relaxed, I guess as a consequence of the medications!
  • laurentian
    laurentian Posts: 2,552
    pep.fermi said:

    Is it done in an hospital, or in an room more like an "office" but just with a bed?

    Mine was in a hospital - not so much an office as a specialist room for this type of thing. Doctor and two nurses present. I also had a screen on which to view events and the doctor explained what he was looking at and the biopsies he was taking. Honestly nothing I would worry about having done again. Due to sedative use and being inflated like a puffer fish, they do insist on you being driven home rather than driving yourself. They have to see and confimr the person driving you home.
    Wilier Izoard XP
  • Pross
    Pross Posts: 43,531
    Munsford0 said:

    It's hilarious. You get to take an osmotic laxative to completely empty you out. Don't ignore the advice to stay strategically close to a toilet. You might want to moisturise your sphincter beforehand; it's going to see a lot of action...

    Then you need to be nil by mouth for a few hours before the procedure which, coupled with the laxative, leaves you seriously dehydrated. This usually gives you a banging headache, and they may struggle to find a vein for the sedative canula. My last one went in the back of my hand which was a bit ouchy.

    Then when you're suitably drugged up and assuming the foetal position they insert the device, and to help them take a good look round they inflate you like an airbed. But they don't deflate you afterwards, so while you're waiting for the sedative to wear off, and indeed for the next few hours, you'll be farting like a geriatric donkey.

    Sounds a right pain in the ar$e.
  • photonic69
    photonic69 Posts: 2,919
    Yup. As said above. You have no nerve endings in your Colon so don't really feel a thing.
    Yeah, just be warned about the laxative stuff. It takes a while and you begin to think it hasn't worked. Then you suddenly realise that you were very, very, very wrong.


    Sometimes. Maybe. Possibly.

  • laurentian
    laurentian Posts: 2,552
    photonic69 said:

    Yup. As said above. You have no nerve endings in your Colon so don't really feel a thing.
    Yeah, just be warned about the laxative stuff. It takes a while and you begin to think it hasn't worked. Then you suddenly realise that you were very, very, very wrong.

    Yep - I have never been so grateful for a downstairs WC!
    Wilier Izoard XP
  • pep.fermi
    pep.fermi Posts: 383
    photonic69 said:


    Yeah, just be warned about the laxative stuff. It takes a while and you begin to think it hasn't worked. Then you suddenly realise that you were very, very, very wrong.

    :DB):o
  • ddraver
    ddraver Posts: 26,708
    Munsford0 said:

    capt_slog said:


    There was a story on the radio once about the laxative. The chap had taken his a day early by mistake, and then had to ask for another dose. :)

    Google 'Picolax thread' I think the original was on a mountain bike forum. Same story.

    I wouldn't be wanting to do that 2 days on the trot. Pun very much intended

    Internet History!
    We're in danger of confusing passion with incompetence
    - @ddraver
  • Munsford0
    Munsford0 Posts: 680
    laurentian said:

    ... Due to sedative use and being inflated like a puffer fish,

    Puffer fish is a perfect description!

  • capt_slog
    capt_slog Posts: 3,974
    I found the picolax thread. wonderfully written.




    The older I get, the better I was.

  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644
    capt_slog said:

    I found the picolax thread. wonderfully written.


    linkie for the incredibly lazy of us?
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • shirley_basso
    shirley_basso Posts: 6,195
    https://singletrackworld.com/2009/02/the-picolax-thread-returns/

    you want the parts highlighted yellow
  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644
    shirley_basso said:

    https://singletrackworld.com/2009/02/the-picolax-thread-returns/

    you want the parts highlighted yellow

    grazie!
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • capt_slog
    capt_slog Posts: 3,974
    Anyone else had the "camera down the japs eye"?


    The older I get, the better I was.

  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 61,678
    capt_slog said:

    Anyone else had the "camera down the japs eye"?

    Is that the Tokyo version of the London Eye? :)
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • davidof
    davidof Posts: 3,125
    The Germans are hypochondriacs who enjoy having stuff stuck up their bottoms. I would avoid unless you have a good reason to get one... such as you are a hypochondriac who enjoys having stuff stuck up his bottom.
    BASI Nordic Ski Instructor
    Instagramme
  • Dorset_Boy
    Dorset_Boy Posts: 7,597
    capt_slog said:

    Anyone else had the "camera down the japs eye"?

    Yes, about 13 years ago. Not at all pleasant.
    Nearly fainted driving home afterwards too.
  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644
    edited December 2022
    .
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644
    davidof said:

    The Germans are hypochondriacs who enjoy having stuff stuck up their bottoms. I would avoid unless you have a good reason to get one... such as you are a hypochondriac who enjoys having stuff stuck up his bottom.

    French are the same - they love a good suppository
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • mully79
    mully79 Posts: 904
    Dorset_Boy said:

    capt_slog said:

    Anyone else had the "camera down the japs eye"?

    Yes, about 13 years ago. Not at all pleasant.
    Nearly fainted driving home afterwards too.
    I’m still not sure whether Doctor was joking when he said I could have it now with no anaesthetic or wait 6 months for an outpatients operation. I should have chose the latter.

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