colonoscopy

pep.fermi

Next year I turn 50 and I was suggested to have one.
I'd like to lower the chances that my wife becomes a widow, and daughter an orphan, earlier than necessary, so I'll go for it.
But it doesn't sound much fun.

Comment anyone?
You had it done?
Or maybe you it's part of you job doing it to others?

ugo.santalucia

I am surprised they offered you one. My wife wanted one because her mum had cancer and she was dismissed on many occasions.
NHS seems a postcode lottery these days... free prescriptions for some, not for others, criteria not very clear... some scans and tests offered to some but not to others...

But yes, not much fun at all

pep.fermi

Thanks. I reside in Germany, perhaps this makes a difference on why they suggested it.

orraloon

I thought from previous post (the nasty landlord one) that OP is non UK resident, so nowt to do with NHS lotteries. Edited: cross post....

I had one done in 2019 as a check after blood traces found in the pooh sample test, nothing bad found. Process is ok, though the in advance bowel clearing effects can be... interesting.

pep.fermi

orraloon said:

OP is non UK resident

Deutschland.
Never mind I'm neither Brit nor German.

Munsford0

It's hilarious. You get to take an osmotic laxative to completely empty you out. Don't ignore the advice to stay strategically close to a toilet. You might want to moisturise your sphincter beforehand; it's going to see a lot of action...

Then you need to be nil by mouth for a few hours before the procedure which, coupled with the laxative, leaves you seriously dehydrated. This usually gives you a banging headache, and they may struggle to find a vein for the sedative canula. My last one went in the back of my hand which was a bit ouchy.

Then when you're suitably drugged up and assuming the foetal position they insert the device, and to help them take a good look round they inflate you like an airbed. But they don't deflate you afterwards, so while you're waiting for the sedative to wear off, and indeed for the next few hours, you'll be farting like a geriatric donkey.

laurentian

After seeing GP 4 times and being diagnosed with something different each time, finally had a colonoscopy last year. Munsford pretty much has it nailed. I must admit, apart from the obvious unease at the situation, it was remarkably OK.

Make sure you read the instructions on the laxative properly . . .mine was supposed to be sipped over an hour, not, as I did, downed like a Rugby Club challenge in one go. I wish I'd weighed myself before and after this.

capt_slog

Munsford0 said:

It's hilarious. You get to take an osmotic laxative to completely empty you out. Don't ignore the advice to stay strategically close to a toilet. You might want to moisturise your sphincter beforehand; it's going to see a lot of action...

Then you need to be nil by mouth for a few hours before the procedure which, coupled with the laxative, leaves you seriously dehydrated. This usually gives you a banging headache, and they may struggle to find a vein for the sedative canula. My last one went in the back of my hand which was a bit ouchy.

Then when you're suitably drugged up and assuming the foetal position they insert the device, and to help them take a good look round they inflate you like an airbed. But they don't deflate you afterwards, so while you're waiting for the sedative to wear off, and indeed for the next few hours, you'll be farting like a geriatric donkey.

Well, that was clear and to the point. Good info, thanks. I've never had one and I'm not on the cords for one either, but it's good to know what to expect.

There was a story on the radio once about the laxative. The chap had taken his a day early by mistake, and then had to ask for another dose.

pep.fermi

Munsford0 said:

a vein for the sedative canula.

Oh, I was missing this.
Sadated like kind of sleepy but still awake and largely aware, right...?

Munsford0

capt_slog said:

There was a story on the radio once about the laxative. The chap had taken his a day early by mistake, and then had to ask for another dose.

Google 'Picolax thread' I think the original was on a mountain bike forum. Same story.

I wouldn't be wanting to do that 2 days on the trot. Pun very much intended

orraloon

pep.fermi said:

Munsford0 said:

a vein for the sedative canula.

Oh, I was missing this.
Sadated like kind of sleepy but still awake and largely aware, right...?

Aware enough to watch the images on a screen by the side of bed / platform, which was interesting...

pep.fermi

Is it done in an hospital, or in an room more like an "office" but just with a bed?

orraloon

In my case, a specific unit in a hospital. Camera scanner equipment required plus facilities for taking and processing samples. I had some 'benign' polyps found, and watched as medics removed for testing. I recall being pretty chilled and relaxed, I guess as a consequence of the medications!

laurentian

pep.fermi said:

Is it done in an hospital, or in an room more like an "office" but just with a bed?

Mine was in a hospital - not so much an office as a specialist room for this type of thing. Doctor and two nurses present. I also had a screen on which to view events and the doctor explained what he was looking at and the biopsies he was taking. Honestly nothing I would worry about having done again. Due to sedative use and being inflated like a puffer fish, they do insist on you being driven home rather than driving yourself. They have to see and confimr the person driving you home.

Pross

Munsford0 said:

It's hilarious. You get to take an osmotic laxative to completely empty you out. Don't ignore the advice to stay strategically close to a toilet. You might want to moisturise your sphincter beforehand; it's going to see a lot of action...

Then you need to be nil by mouth for a few hours before the procedure which, coupled with the laxative, leaves you seriously dehydrated. This usually gives you a banging headache, and they may struggle to find a vein for the sedative canula. My last one went in the back of my hand which was a bit ouchy.

Then when you're suitably drugged up and assuming the foetal position they insert the device, and to help them take a good look round they inflate you like an airbed. But they don't deflate you afterwards, so while you're waiting for the sedative to wear off, and indeed for the next few hours, you'll be farting like a geriatric donkey.

Sounds a right pain in the ar$e.

photonic69

Yup. As said above. You have no nerve endings in your Colon so don't really feel a thing.
Yeah, just be warned about the laxative stuff. It takes a while and you begin to think it hasn't worked. Then you suddenly realise that you were very, very, very wrong.

laurentian

photonic69 said:

Yup. As said above. You have no nerve endings in your Colon so don't really feel a thing.
Yeah, just be warned about the laxative stuff. It takes a while and you begin to think it hasn't worked. Then you suddenly realise that you were very, very, very wrong.

Yep - I have never been so grateful for a downstairs WC!

pep.fermi

photonic69 said:

Yeah, just be warned about the laxative stuff. It takes a while and you begin to think it hasn't worked. Then you suddenly realise that you were very, very, very wrong.

ddraver

Munsford0 said:

capt_slog said:

There was a story on the radio once about the laxative. The chap had taken his a day early by mistake, and then had to ask for another dose.

Google 'Picolax thread' I think the original was on a mountain bike forum. Same story.

I wouldn't be wanting to do that 2 days on the trot. Pun very much intended

Internet History!

Munsford0

laurentian said:

... Due to sedative use and being inflated like a puffer fish,

Puffer fish is a perfect description!

capt_slog

I found the picolax thread. wonderfully written.

MattFalle

capt_slog said:

I found the picolax thread. wonderfully written.

linkie for the incredibly lazy of us?

shirley_basso

https://singletrackworld.com/2009/02/the-picolax-thread-returns/

you want the parts highlighted yellow

MattFalle

shirley_basso said:

https://singletrackworld.com/2009/02/the-picolax-thread-returns/

you want the parts highlighted yellow

grazie!

capt_slog

Anyone else had the "camera down the japs eye"?

Stevo_666

capt_slog said:

Anyone else had the "camera down the japs eye"?

Is that the Tokyo version of the London Eye?

davidof

The Germans are hypochondriacs who enjoy having stuff stuck up their bottoms. I would avoid unless you have a good reason to get one... such as you are a hypochondriac who enjoys having stuff stuck up his bottom.

Dorset_Boy

capt_slog said:

Anyone else had the "camera down the japs eye"?

Yes, about 13 years ago. Not at all pleasant.
Nearly fainted driving home afterwards too.

MattFalle

.

MattFalle

davidof said:

The Germans are hypochondriacs who enjoy having stuff stuck up their bottoms. I would avoid unless you have a good reason to get one... such as you are a hypochondriac who enjoys having stuff stuck up his bottom.

French are the same - they love a good suppository

mully79

Dorset_Boy said:

capt_slog said:

Anyone else had the "camera down the japs eye"?

Yes, about 13 years ago. Not at all pleasant.
Nearly fainted driving home afterwards too.

I’m still not sure whether Doctor was joking when he said I could have it now with no anaesthetic or wait 6 months for an outpatients operation. I should have chose the latter.