Random text giving me ideas Friday

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Comments

  • seanoconn
    seanoconn Posts: 11,269
    thistle_ said:

    seanoconn said:

    Hypothetically speaking. How would one go about murdering UPS? The entire company, wiping them of the face of the earth?

    4 scheduled deliveries missed. 3 surprise visits missed,

    Them: “We can re-deliver after latest surprise visit before 7pm.”

    Me: “I can come home now, they won’t re-deliver straight away?”

    Them “No, we need to contact driver and confirm he can re-deliver and get back to you.”

    Me rushing home, ring ring.

    Them “We confirmed with the driver and he tried to re-deliver but you weren’t home so you have to wait till Monday. We don’t care that we missed 4 scheduled delivers, that’s in the past. You weren’t home even though we knew you were at work and we’re not going to deliver on Saturday because we don’t like you, we can do whatever we want and you can go f.uck yourself.”

    Send them a bill for the time you had to take off work waiting for the deliveries.

    Agreed. We take off and nuke the entire lot from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure.
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי
  • sungod
    sungod Posts: 16,296
    seanoconn said:

    Hypothetically speaking. How would one go about murdering UPS? The entire company, wiping them of the face of the earth?

    4 scheduled deliveries missed. 3 surprise visits missed,

    Them: “We can re-deliver after latest surprise visit before 7pm.”

    Me: “I can come home now, they won’t re-deliver straight away?”

    Them “No, we need to contact driver and confirm he can re-deliver and get back to you.”

    Me rushing home, ring ring.

    Them “We confirmed with the driver and he tried to re-deliver but you weren’t home so you have to wait till Monday. We don’t care that we missed 4 scheduled delivers, that’s in the past. You weren’t home even though we knew you were at work and we’re not going to deliver on Saturday because we don’t like you, we can do whatever we want and you can go f.uck yourself.”

    i had this with them last year, also with huge argument because they vastly miscalculated import fees (over 10x final amount)

    judging by online comments, their drivers are under such pressure to stay on schedule that they lie about people being out in order to make up time

    helpdesk/support seemed clueless, multiple attempts to resolve went nowhere

    in the end, emailing the ceo (i.e. his pa reads it) with a succinct history started getting things fixed, assigned it to one of their escalation managers

    they had import costs corrected, agreed with my refusal to pay the customs handling fee due to their multiple errors, then still missed another delivery as i "was out"

    rescheduled, then on the day get yet another message claiming that just a few minutes ago they'd called but i was out, i immediately contacted the manager...

    presto, a very hassled looking guy turned up at the last minute of the promised deadline

    presumably he'd got a rocket, but no sympathy from me as he'd lied about me being out earlier, and he or his peers had done the same on all the previous missed deliveries
    my bike - faster than god's and twice as shiny
  • seanoconn
    seanoconn Posts: 11,269
    sungod said:

    seanoconn said:

    Hypothetically speaking. How would one go about murdering UPS? The entire company, wiping them of the face of the earth?

    4 scheduled deliveries missed. 3 surprise visits missed,

    Them: “We can re-deliver after latest surprise visit before 7pm.”

    Me: “I can come home now, they won’t re-deliver straight away?”

    Them “No, we need to contact driver and confirm he can re-deliver and get back to you.”

    Me rushing home, ring ring.

    Them “We confirmed with the driver and he tried to re-deliver but you weren’t home so you have to wait till Monday. We don’t care that we missed 4 scheduled delivers, that’s in the past. You weren’t home even though we knew you were at work and we’re not going to deliver on Saturday because we don’t like you, we can do whatever we want and you can go f.uck yourself.”

    i had this with them last year, also with huge argument because they vastly miscalculated import fees (over 10x final amount)

    judging by online comments, their drivers are under such pressure to stay on schedule that they lie about people being out in order to make up time

    helpdesk/support seemed clueless, multiple attempts to resolve went nowhere

    in the end, emailing the ceo (i.e. his pa reads it) with a succinct history started getting things fixed, assigned it to one of their escalation managers

    they had import costs corrected, agreed with my refusal to pay the customs handling fee due to their multiple errors, then still missed another delivery as i "was out"

    rescheduled, then on the day get yet another message claiming that just a few minutes ago they'd called but i was out, i immediately contacted the manager...

    presto, a very hassled looking guy turned up at the last minute of the promised deadline

    presumably he'd got a rocket, but no sympathy from me as he'd lied about me being out earlier, and he or his peers had done the same on all the previous missed deliveries
    The escalation manager hung up on me because I wouldn’t let him go 😂 No way in hell the driver came back to re-deliver, more lies. Just hope the bike is ok after being on and off vans all week.
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,032
    So many questions.
    seanoconn said:

    sungod said:

    seanoconn said:

    Hypothetically speaking. How would one go about murdering UPS? The entire company, wiping them of the face of the earth?

    4 scheduled deliveries missed. 3 surprise visits missed,

    Them: “We can re-deliver after latest surprise visit before 7pm.”

    Me: “I can come home now, they won’t re-deliver straight away?”

    Them “No, we need to contact driver and confirm he can re-deliver and get back to you.”

    Me rushing home, ring ring.

    Them “We confirmed with the driver and he tried to re-deliver but you weren’t home so you have to wait till Monday. We don’t care that we missed 4 scheduled delivers, that’s in the past. You weren’t home even though we knew you were at work and we’re not going to deliver on Saturday because we don’t like you, we can do whatever we want and you can go f.uck yourself.”

    i had this with them last year, also with huge argument because they vastly miscalculated import fees (over 10x final amount)

    judging by online comments, their drivers are under such pressure to stay on schedule that they lie about people being out in order to make up time

    helpdesk/support seemed clueless, multiple attempts to resolve went nowhere

    in the end, emailing the ceo (i.e. his pa reads it) with a succinct history started getting things fixed, assigned it to one of their escalation managers

    they had import costs corrected, agreed with my refusal to pay the customs handling fee due to their multiple errors, then still missed another delivery as i "was out"

    rescheduled, then on the day get yet another message claiming that just a few minutes ago they'd called but i was out, i immediately contacted the manager...

    presto, a very hassled looking guy turned up at the last minute of the promised deadline

    presumably he'd got a rocket, but no sympathy from me as he'd lied about me being out earlier, and he or his peers had done the same on all the previous missed deliveries
    The escalation manager hung up on me because I wouldn’t let him go 😂 No way in hell the driver came back to re-deliver, more lies. Just hope the bike is ok after being on and off vans all week.
    Bikey for wifey?
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • beansnikpoh
    beansnikpoh Posts: 1,500
    Thanks all. Seems nice enough here. Drinks and dinner await.


  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,032
    seanoconn said:

    oxoman said:

    Morning Slackers. Chill day at home. Haircut, ride, paint, prep vs bike for tomorrow's big ride.

    What’s the big ride?
    sungod said:

    thistle_ said:

    webboo said:

    @tlw1 I've entered IM Bolton, July 2nd. Its fairly local to me, around 20 miles or so.

    The entry fee is a bit steep, £500 plus a 10% "processing fee" :o and there are alternative events, Outlaw being one but in reality nobody is going to have a clue when you announce "I'm an Outlaw..." whereas Ironman is a known brand.

    I also swam yesterday, my garmin says 3550m but in reality it adds a few lengths here and there so I'll probably settle on 3200m or so in 56 minutes.

    I also got on the bike yesterday for what might be the windiest ride ever recorded in the history of the bike.

    And in other news, WFW, early finish, WFH for MrsHD

    Can you not just say I’ve done an Ironman when you have completed the Outlaw
    I think it's Ironman ™®©

    yep, big money so it's lawyered up

    a colleague does ironman, ranking got him an invite to the world championships in utah this year, finished in the top 200

    it's a good ride spoiled by a swim and a run :smiley:
    Indeed: a ride should never be preceded by a run and followed by a swim.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,032
    thistle_ said:

    seanoconn said:

    Hypothetically speaking. How would one go about murdering UPS? The entire company, wiping them of the face of the earth?

    4 scheduled deliveries missed. 3 surprise visits missed,

    Them: “We can re-deliver after latest surprise visit before 7pm.”

    Me: “I can come home now, they won’t re-deliver straight away?”

    Them “No, we need to contact driver and confirm he can re-deliver and get back to you.”

    Me rushing home, ring ring.

    Them “We confirmed with the driver and he tried to re-deliver but you weren’t home so you have to wait till Monday. We don’t care that we missed 4 scheduled delivers, that’s in the past. You weren’t home even though we knew you were at work and we’re not going to deliver on Saturday because we don’t like you, we can do whatever we want and you can go f.uck yourself.”

    Send them a bill for the time you had to take off work waiting for the deliveries.

    If it's any consolation it took them 8 attempts to come and collect a load of laptops from our office.
    It took me a few days to source a UPS outfit.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • seanoconn
    seanoconn Posts: 11,269

    Thanks all. Seems nice enough here. Drinks and dinner await.


    Meh, it’s ok, I guess
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,032
    Not enough wind and rain for me.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • veronese68
    veronese68 Posts: 27,166
    We have a UPS contract, I refuse to believe their drivers are overworked. Lazy phucker spends at least 2 hours every afternoon snoozing in our tea room waiting for his van to be loaded. Now the FedEx man has taken to joining him. Lazy cnuts the pair of them. Maybe they worked hard in the past to get the easy collection routes, or more likely they're shirking phucktards that have always played the system and deserve to rot in hell.
    oxoman said:

    seanoconn said:

    oxoman said:

    seanoconn said:

    oxoman said:

    Morning Slackers. Chill day at home. Haircut, ride, paint, prep vs bike for tomorrow's big ride.

    What’s the big ride?
    Sherwood Gravel X long route. Scratching an itch to do something different and doing an easier one first.
    Enjoy the suffering 👍 How many miles/KM’s we talking?
    84km / 52miles. Suspect my arms will ache if it's mostly gravel. Time will tell.
    You'll be fine, done London to Brighton off road several times, including on the CX, and it's over 80 miles from here including riding to the start and bits of faffing.
    Quickest way on the CX, but I had a couple of falls. Most comfortable was on the 29er. Might fit drops to that and do it again.