Should TLW move to Jockland?

He'll have to be able to drink McEwan's 80/- and learn to get right intae it.
The ups: Chips and curry sauce, Whisky, deep fried battered Mars bars, Irn bru, Cumbernauld, Wishaw, Dumbarton, Carol Kirkwood, the Highlands, Loch Tay, Bridies, smoked Salmon, the Istanbul Kebab shop.
The downs: Midges, blokes in skirts, Irn Bru, deep fried battered Mars bars, Chips with curry sauce, Cumbernauld, Wishaw, Dumbarton, the Krankies, Judith the terrifying weather woman, rain and wind, the Ivy Leaf fish and chip bar.
seanoconn - gruagach craic!
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Comments

  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 57,718
    Even if she did let him in, he might get a bit of this:

    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • johngti
    johngti Posts: 2,508
    edited April 2022
    Only sensible answer. To everything.

    (Ask the wife, btw)
  • seanoconn
    seanoconn Posts: 11,268
    Yes. Pub situation and running routes need to be scouted first of course. Can always get a new wife even if you can’t understand what she says.
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי
  • pblakeney
    pblakeney Posts: 25,218
    seanoconn said:

    Yes. Pub situation and running routes need to be scouted first of course. Can always get a new wife even if you can’t understand what she says.

    Understanding what a wife says and what she means are two entirely different things. 😉
    The above may be fact, or fiction, I may be serious, I may be jesting.
    I am not sure. You have no chance.
    Veronese68 wrote:
    PB is the most sensible person on here.
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,031
    seanoconn said:

    Yes. Pub situation and running routes need to be scouted first of course. Can always get a new wife even if you can’t understand what she says.

    The pub situation?

    Newton Stewart. More pubs per head of population than anywhere in Scotland (and there are hotels too for those key/iphone swap evenings).
    Through the middle of it is a river that he can swim in, it is in the foothills of the Galloway hills and the 7 Stanes for cycling where he can also. satisfy his odd running fetish.
    The wenches in NS are okay.
    The one's next door in Minigaff are free range and 4 foot tall. They do not take kindly to 'no'.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • tlw1
    tlw1 Posts: 21,789
    Need to be decent bars, the current wife does like to dress up for going out
  • First.Aspect
    First.Aspect Posts: 14,283
    Who?

    Main advantage, outside of Edinburgh and Aberdeen, is house prices. Main disadvantage is the prospect of the Scottish pound, which would fall faster than Jurgen Klinsman if it was ever created.

    Scenery is great in Scotland. Weather is not.

    People can be friendly. People can be astonishingly ignorant and unfriendly. It is a bit polarised.

    And you need to be able to tolerate relentless Scotishness and re-telling of world events from the Scottish perspective, and how that in fact is evidence that it should be independent.

    And the council roads are basically gravel up here to pay for free education, free prescriptions, loss making shipyards, and really shyte bikes for every child who wants to go to school and get bullied for only having an SNP bicycle.
  • photonic69
    photonic69 Posts: 2,341
    tlw1 said:

    Need to be decent bars, the current wife does like to dress up for going out

    From my experience of North of the Border, dressing up appears to be wearing your hoodie and trackie bottoms WITHOUT the curry sauce stains.


    Sometimes. Maybe. Possibly.

  • MattFalle
    MattFalle Posts: 11,644
    Why not?

    He lkes it, mega. Doesn't like it, leaves. Nothing to lose really.

    #carpediem
    .
    The camera down the willy isn't anything like as bad as it sounds.
  • orraloon
    orraloon Posts: 12,509
    FA, sounds like you should upsticks and relocate to somewhere more inclusive and all-welcoming like Crawley, or Alsager? Or just get yourself a gravel bike. Simples.
  • First.Aspect
    First.Aspect Posts: 14,283
    orraloon said:

    FA, sounds like you should upsticks and relocate to somewhere more inclusive and all-welcoming like Crawley, or Alsager? Or just get yourself a gravel bike. Simples.

    I like the scenery.

    If the independence thing went away and my retirement was secured I'd be happier.

    I tend to take a dim view of expats expressing strong opinions either way, incidentally. You kind of need to have direct experience of the political mismanagement up here to be able to disagree.
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 57,718
    seanoconn said:

    Yes. Pub situation and running routes need to be scouted first of course. Can always get a new wife even if you can’t understand what she says.

    I hear they are good value up there. Although I guess you get what you pay for?
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • orraloon
    orraloon Posts: 12,509
    ^ Lamborghini! Is that where Vtech ran and hid?
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,031
    Vtech never had a f*cking Lamborghini.
    Vtech only had pictures of Lamborghini's.

    Vtech actually only managed to re-map VW Golfs, which were pretty f*cked once they passed through his hands.

    At a track meet, a little boy asked him what he as looking at on his mobile phone. Vtech told the boy 'live telemetry data' (of a car that was going around).
    That's bollox. Impossible.

    He told a boy in a hospital who was seriously ill that he was going to get him in a race car and go around a circuit when he got better. Never happened.

    Let's see if this c*nt will respond... @VTech
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • orraloon
    orraloon Posts: 12,509
    Oooh, pressed a hot button there.

    I was being mildly flippant; isn't vtech claiming to be in Dubai scamming crypto currency fanbois?
  • slowmart
    slowmart Posts: 4,459
    Ahhhh posters from the past.

    Who was the noodle with kitchen foil as bar tape? He was glorious in his own world.

    And the conspiracy theorist from Manchester

    Do any others spring to mind.
    “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to cycle and he will realize fishing is stupid and boring”

    Desmond Tutu
  • pblakeney
    pblakeney Posts: 25,218
    slowmart said:

    Ahhhh posters from the past.

    Who was the noodle with kitchen foil as bar tape? He was glorious in his own world.

    And the conspiracy theorist from Manchester

    Do any others spring to mind.

    Manc33?
    The above may be fact, or fiction, I may be serious, I may be jesting.
    I am not sure. You have no chance.
    Veronese68 wrote:
    PB is the most sensible person on here.
  • slowmart
    slowmart Posts: 4,459
    edited April 2022
    That’s the one

    Here’s the kitchen foil bar tape thread

    https://forum.bikeradar.com/discussion/13034619/dogma-down-but-not-out/p1
    “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to cycle and he will realize fishing is stupid and boring”

    Desmond Tutu
  • seanoconn
    seanoconn Posts: 11,268
    slowmart said:

    That’s the one

    Here’s the kitchen foil bar tape thread

    https://forum.bikeradar.com/discussion/13034619/dogma-down-but-not-out/p1

    Good work by @imposter2.0

    Those were the days.
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי
  • No, please keep away , Scotland is already overpopulated , honest.
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,031

    No, please keep away , Scotland is already overpopulated , honest.

    It is. I saw a bloke walk past my house 3 days ago.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • Ben6899
    Ben6899 Posts: 9,686
    No. It's too cold.
    Ben

    Bikes: Donhou DSS4 Custom | Condor Italia RC | Gios Megalite | Dolan Preffisio | Giant Bowery '76
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ben_h_ppcc/
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  • Ben6899
    Ben6899 Posts: 9,686
    pinno said:

    Let's see if this c*nt will respond... @VTech

    You need to @ him three times.
    Ben

    Bikes: Donhou DSS4 Custom | Condor Italia RC | Gios Megalite | Dolan Preffisio | Giant Bowery '76
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ben_h_ppcc/
    Flickr: https://www.flickr.com/photos/143173475@N05/
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,031
    Ben6899 said:

    pinno said:

    Let's see if this c*nt will respond... @VTech

    You need to @ him three times.
    He's not Beetlejuice, he's a tw@t.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 57,718
    pinno said:

    No, please keep away , Scotland is already overpopulated , honest.

    It is. I saw a bloke walk past my house 3 days ago.
    You've got so much space it would be an ideal place to film the next 'Lord of the Rings' movie. And they wouldn't need to put any make up on the extras.
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • pinno
    pinno Posts: 51,031
    Stevo_666 said:

    pinno said:

    No, please keep away , Scotland is already overpopulated , honest.

    It is. I saw a bloke walk past my house 3 days ago.
    You've got so much space it would be an ideal place to film the next 'Lord of the Rings' movie. And they wouldn't need to put any make up on the extras.
    There's no artistic merit in a bunch of glazed eyed locals staring gaping mouthed at the cameras/crew/cast.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • johngti
    johngti Posts: 2,508
    slowmart said:

    That’s the one

    Here’s the kitchen foil bar tape thread

    https://forum.bikeradar.com/discussion/13034619/dogma-down-but-not-out/p1

    Blimey - an actual editor/moderator got involved! Don’t know how I missed that one.

    Silver bar tape is definitely abitshit though
  • First.Aspect
    First.Aspect Posts: 14,283
    johngti said:

    slowmart said:

    That’s the one

    Here’s the kitchen foil bar tape thread

    https://forum.bikeradar.com/discussion/13034619/dogma-down-but-not-out/p1

    Blimey - an actual editor/moderator got involved! Don’t know how I missed that one.

    Silver bar tape is definitely abitshit though
    I quite like the silver bar tape.
  • johngti
    johngti Posts: 2,508

    johngti said:

    slowmart said:

    That’s the one

    Here’s the kitchen foil bar tape thread

    https://forum.bikeradar.com/discussion/13034619/dogma-down-but-not-out/p1

    Blimey - an actual editor/moderator got involved! Don’t know how I missed that one.

    Silver bar tape is definitely abitshit though
    I quite like the silver bar tape.
    I bet you’ve got a dodgy fence too…