Velominati 'The Rules' - updated for 2019
The_Obsessive_Cyclist
Posts: 7
Hi all, It's been nearly 10 years since 'The Rules' came out, and cycling trends have obviously moved on massively since then - Strava, disc brakes, aero bikes, Zwift, Instagram etc.
I thought it would be fun to update some of the Velominati's list for the modern era - 'The Rules 2.0' if you like. Anyway hope you enjoy them. I'm sure there are loads of other new 'rules' we could all come up with... https://theobsessivecyclist.com/2019/12/06/velominati-the-rules-updated/
I thought it would be fun to update some of the Velominati's list for the modern era - 'The Rules 2.0' if you like. Anyway hope you enjoy them. I'm sure there are loads of other new 'rules' we could all come up with... https://theobsessivecyclist.com/2019/12/06/velominati-the-rules-updated/
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Posts
I am not sure. You have no chance.
here you need to step it up a notch.
for example in stead of
7) Sportives are races. Dismiss anyone who says they aren’t.
it could have been something like
7) All rides are races. If you are on a bike and not going as fast as you can you are going too slow.
Only #10 has the spirit right. Most of the rest are just "I like expensive things".
The issue was that some riders interpreted them literally.
I just don't get that vibe with these new rules.
(Oh, sorry, forgot the smiley 😊) 😊
People have every right to be offended by something, doesn't mean they are right or should be protected necessarily.
Marin Nail Trail
Cotic Solaris
Rule #9 // If you are out riding in bad weather, it means you are a badass. Period.
Rule #12 // The correct number of bikes to own is n+1.
Rule #42 // A bike race shall never be preceded with a swim and/or followed by a run.
Thanks for all the 'feedback'! Honestly I had no idea these would spark so much response and its great to hear what you lot think.
As some people have already said, these are written very much with the tongue firmly in the cheek as the original ones were. They're a dig at some of the stupid stuff we as cyclists have to contend with in the modern era - some people will agree with them, some won't, and that's the whole point. I don't agree with them all, and I wrote them.
For those who seem genuinely hacked off at the thought of someone even attempting to write a light hearted piece about cycling and share it with a cycling forum, (god forbid) I wonder if maybe you're taking this all a bit too seriously? It did make me laugh when someone said 'updated rules are meaningless'. Did you think the original rules had meaning? You really did get sucked in didn't you!
Like I said before, there must be loads more 'updated rules' that should be 'applied' given how much things have moved on, and if you think you can do better than me (and you probably can) then post them here and I'll add the best ones to the article.
Oh FWIW far from being a one post wonder I've actually been on this site since 2011 but seems my account got wiped when the refresh took place so I've had to start over - password doesn't work etc. Right now I can't even change my username from the shitty 'hello376' they gave me by default, so any advice on how to get that sorted would be appreciated!
Cheers,
Tom