Getting cycling whilst having you family

mrkev83
mrkev83 Posts: 184
edited October 2019 in Training, fitness and health
I'm keen to get back cycling. I have a fairly capable road bike but now with three kids ( youngest being 1) I'm struggling to work out where I would cycle. I work full time ( no showers) plus I'm a community nurse so need the car at work. How do you guys fit in it?
http://www.strava.com/athletes/mrkev83

Built for comfort... Not for speed
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Comments

  • Wait until kids have grown up
    I'm sorry you don't believe in miracles
  • monkimark
    monkimark Posts: 1,927
    I cycle to work (around 30km each way) a couple of times a week, without that I think I'd struggle to get much cycling done outside of summer.

    When the evenings are light enough, I try and do one "long way round" commute in the evening, or go to work on the motorbike and then go out cycling as soon as the kids are in bed - I can usually squeeze in around 60km as long as I take a light for the last bit.

    As it gets darker in the evenings, I tend to do shorter night rides on the cx or mountain bike because 3 hours in the dark on the road isn't much fun. I started doing them out of necessity but I actually really enjoy those rides, the trails are generally empty apart from the odd rabbit or badger.

    At the weekend, I occasionally get out with my mates for a decent ride but more likely a very early start for a ride on my own so I'm back by around 10am to spend time with the family.
    I also cycle with the kids quite a bit, we have a trailer bike and a front mounted seat - we're going to do around 30km on local trails with a lunch stop today. It doesn't sound like much but you certainly feel it when you're hauling 2 kids up the hills.
  • mrkev83
    mrkev83 Posts: 184
    monkimark wrote:
    I cycle to work (around 30km each way) a couple of times a week, without that I think I'd struggle to get much cycling done outside of summer.

    When the evenings are light enough, I try and do one "long way round" commute in the evening, or go to work on the motorbike and then go out cycling as soon as the kids are in bed - I can usually squeeze in around 60km as long as I take a light for the last bit.

    As it gets darker in the evenings, I tend to do shorter night rides on the cx or mountain bike because 3 hours in the dark on the road isn't much fun. I started doing them out of necessity but I actually really enjoy those rides, the trails are generally empty apart from the odd rabbit or badger.

    At the weekend, I occasionally get out with my mates for a decent ride but more likely a very early start for a ride on my own so I'm back by around 10am to spend time with the family.
    I also cycle with the kids quite a bit, we have a trailer bike and a front mounted seat - we're going to do around 30km on local trails with a lunch stop today. It doesn't sound like much but you certainly feel it when you're hauling 2 kids up the hills.

    Thanks for the reply. I've bought a front mounted seat for the hybrid and I bought missus a bike so maybe that's one option. Anything is better than nothing

    I've read all the usual advice about cycling to work without showers but I then need the car at work unless I work my community visits in by bike as I manage my own diary. Fortunately apart from a notepad and occasional bits of medication I don't need to carry much at work
    http://www.strava.com/athletes/mrkev83

    Built for comfort... Not for speed
  • slowmart
    slowmart Posts: 4,516
    It used to be early morning starts and back for breakfast, my gran was right in that it’s the best part of the day, very little traffic and exceptionally quiet. It’s also exceptionally beautiful in terms of sun and colours.

    Cycling with the sun rising is something special too.

    Ok it’s heading into Autumn but the up side is you don’t notice adverse weather so much as you’re always cycling in it and riding solo in the wind gets you stronger.
    “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to cycle and he will realize fishing is stupid and boring”

    Desmond Tutu
  • monkimark
    monkimark Posts: 1,927
    You could take the bike to work in the car then cycle the long way home that evening and a gentle ride in the next morning?
  • mrkev83
    mrkev83 Posts: 184
    Cheers guys. Didn't even think of leaving the car overnight at work
    http://www.strava.com/athletes/mrkev83

    Built for comfort... Not for speed
  • StillGoing
    StillGoing Posts: 5,211
    My cycling took a back seat other than occasional rides out at weekends and a lot of turbo time in the evenings. It depends what you value most; time with your kids (that you will never get back) or time on the bike. My youngest is now 5 and rides with me some days at her pace. Before that, I ensured my spare time was spent with her rather than out on the bike.
    I ride a bike. Doesn't make me green or a tree hugger. I drive a car too.
  • mrkev83
    mrkev83 Posts: 184
    That's the bit.... sacrifices of time. I just need some sort of riding to keep my head level. I was commuting to my last job but changed job and lost the bike commute which was keeping me fit....I'm thinking the early morning rides are the way to go even if it's twice a week
    http://www.strava.com/athletes/mrkev83

    Built for comfort... Not for speed
  • daniel_b
    daniel_b Posts: 11,973
    I increased my cycling when my daughter arrived, but for me a turbo is key.

    Evening and early (5:30/6:00) workouts with a monitor in the garage where I am, so I can be summoned if need be, though 95/100 I am back in the house before I am needed.

    I do that 3 times a week, and at the weekend used to get out on the road for a 50 at anything from 4:45-6:00, and be back often before she is even awake.
    No real time lost with my daughter, and I also believe as I am fitter, I'm far more awake and alert for the time we do have together.

    In recent years, now she is older, I tend to do a group ride on the Saturday, and am back at about 11:00.

    Both myself and my gf cycle and run a fair bit, and I have found this seems to be an inspiration of sorts, as she loves cycling, and wants to start running too.

    Key bit is, I think she sees this kind of activity, and wants to emulate mummy and daddy, and for that I am very thankful.

    I also tell her the reasons to do it as well, health, fitness etc, and she grasps that concept.

    We're in Italy today for her 6th birthday as it happens, have bikes with us, and she has been having a fine old time caning it about the place in the sunshine.
    Felt F70 05 (Turbo)
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  • maryka
    maryka Posts: 748
    1 kid, fairly easy to do it. 2 kids, quite a bit more difficult. 3 kids, pretty impossible til they are all in school and even then if you work full time normal hours it's going to be tough.
  • mrkev83
    mrkev83 Posts: 184
    I just have this in built guilt to exercise being ex forces and then the other side of the coin is spending time with family more important than anything....I've got a smart turbo that I could use. It's just nothing beats the fresh air and being in the middle of nowhere on a bike to air out lifes' stressors
    http://www.strava.com/athletes/mrkev83

    Built for comfort... Not for speed
  • simon_e
    simon_e Posts: 1,707
    MrKev83 wrote:
    That's the bit.... sacrifices of time. I just need some sort of riding to keep my head level. I was commuting to my last job but changed job and lost the bike commute which was keeping me fit....I'm thinking the early morning rides are the way to go even if it's twice a week
    Agree that early morning weekend rides worked for me when the kids were younger. As you've realised commuting and regular riding has both mental and fitness/physical health benefits then it should be easier to persuade yourself to get into the habit. Use a bike with mudguards, prepare route, bike, clothing and water/food the night before etc.

    If taking a car to/from work some days can you leave work clothes, food etc there? Means carrying less on the bike. A quick strip wash with a flannel in the mornings should be fine.

    And yes, bike commuting and regular riding is providing a great example to your kids. Discuss it with your other half so they realise that you're not shirking your responsibilities and how much you'll benefit from getting out regularly. Try to see that it's not a 'sacrifice' but essential maintenance to maintain optimum performance as a partner, parent and a member of society.
    Wait until kids have grown up
    And waste 15-20 years of your life not cycling and see your happiness, health & wellbeing (and life expectancy) plummet. :-( Then in your 50s your GP warns you that you are overweight and unfit and need to do some exercise. You finally get to cycling and regret the great years you wasted.
    Aspire not to have more, but to be more.
  • mrkev83
    mrkev83 Posts: 184
    Great response Simon. I work in mental health and really feel the difference in my mood when I don't cycle regularly so all the more to get back on it. Cheers for motivation guys. All appreciated
    http://www.strava.com/athletes/mrkev83

    Built for comfort... Not for speed
  • jgsi
    jgsi Posts: 5,062
    Unless that partner of yours is actually dialled into cycling, then in all seriousness, marital breakdown can , and does happen because of the nature of the activity.
    However, the 21st century is kind to you with its world of virtual cycling within the home environment.
    Lucky boy!
    You will not get fat and lazy and TYpe 2 diabetic just because you cant go "with the lads " for 6 hours on a Sunday, unless you are incredibly stupid.
  • StillGoing
    StillGoing Posts: 5,211
    MrKev83 wrote:
    Great response Simon. I work in mental health and really feel the difference in my mood when I don't cycle regularly so all the more to get back on it. Cheers for motivation guys. All appreciated

    Sorry but I think the response is pants.

    I'm ex forces and retired plod. I'm also in my late 50's. I missed out on the early years development of my first 2 kids due to being away on ops in the Army constantly and coming home to find them able to speak sentences and not just a word or two. Shift work in the plod took me away at other special times. You don't get these opportunities back, as before you know it, your kids have grown up and you are no longer the most important thing in their lives as they discover other interests.

    Thankfully, I have a 5 year old that being retired, I have raised from birth and got some of those moments I missed with the first two back with her. Yes, cycling took a back seat for a few years, but it didn't mean I was dormant, grew fat and became a useless wreck. You can still maintain a healthy life balance without sacrificing time with your kids.

    Only you can decide what is more important to you; your family or your hobby. You can make adjustments to your hobby, but you can't adjust opportunities to spend time with your kids.
    I ride a bike. Doesn't make me green or a tree hugger. I drive a car too.
  • mrkev83
    mrkev83 Posts: 184
    philthy3 wrote:
    MrKev83 wrote:
    Great response Simon. I work in mental health and really feel the difference in my mood when I don't cycle regularly so all the more to get back on it. Cheers for motivation guys. All appreciated

    Sorry but I think the response is pants.

    I'm ex forces and retired plod. I'm also in my late 50's. I missed out on the early years development of my first 2 kids due to being away on ops in the Army constantly and coming home to find them able to speak sentences and not just a word or two. Shift work in the plod took me away at other special times. You don't get these opportunities back, as before you know it, your kids have grown up and you are no longer the most important thing in their lives as they discover other interests.

    Thankfully, I have a 5 year old that being retired, I have raised from birth and got some of those moments I missed with the first two back with her. Yes, cycling took a back seat for a few years, but it didn't mean I was dormant, grew fat and became a useless wreck. You can still maintain a healthy life balance without sacrificing time with your kids.

    Only you can decide what is more important to you; your family or your hobby. You can make adjustments to your hobby, but you can't adjust opportunities to spend time with your kids.

    Did you read Simon's response? He didn't take anything away from spending time with kids
    http://www.strava.com/athletes/mrkev83

    Built for comfort... Not for speed
  • StillGoing
    StillGoing Posts: 5,211
    MrKev83 wrote:
    philthy3 wrote:
    MrKev83 wrote:
    Great response Simon. I work in mental health and really feel the difference in my mood when I don't cycle regularly so all the more to get back on it. Cheers for motivation guys. All appreciated

    Sorry but I think the response is pants.

    I'm ex forces and retired plod. I'm also in my late 50's. I missed out on the early years development of my first 2 kids due to being away on ops in the Army constantly and coming home to find them able to speak sentences and not just a word or two. Shift work in the plod took me away at other special times. You don't get these opportunities back, as before you know it, your kids have grown up and you are no longer the most important thing in their lives as they discover other interests.

    Thankfully, I have a 5 year old that being retired, I have raised from birth and got some of those moments I missed with the first two back with her. Yes, cycling took a back seat for a few years, but it didn't mean I was dormant, grew fat and became a useless wreck. You can still maintain a healthy life balance without sacrificing time with your kids.

    Only you can decide what is more important to you; your family or your hobby. You can make adjustments to your hobby, but you can't adjust opportunities to spend time with your kids.

    Did you read Simon's response? He didn't take anything away from spending time with kids

    Of course he did. He also implied that if you cut down your cycling you'll grow fat and useless. But, as I've said, it's your choice.
    I ride a bike. Doesn't make me green or a tree hugger. I drive a car too.
  • mrkev83
    mrkev83 Posts: 184
    philthy3 wrote:
    MrKev83 wrote:
    philthy3 wrote:
    MrKev83 wrote:
    Great response Simon. I work in mental health and really feel the difference in my mood when I don't cycle regularly so all the more to get back on it. Cheers for motivation guys. All appreciated

    Sorry but I think the response is pants.

    I'm ex forces and retired plod. I'm also in my late 50's. I missed out on the early years development of my first 2 kids due to being away on ops in the Army constantly and coming home to find them able to speak sentences and not just a word or two. Shift work in the plod took me away at other special times. You don't get these opportunities back, as before you know it, your kids have grown up and you are no longer the most important thing in their lives as they discover other interests.

    Thankfully, I have a 5 year old that being retired, I have raised from birth and got some of those moments I missed with the first two back with her. Yes, cycling took a back seat for a few years, but it didn't mean I was dormant, grew fat and became a useless wreck. You can still maintain a healthy life balance without sacrificing time with your kids.

    Only you can decide what is more important to you; your family or your hobby. You can make adjustments to your hobby, but you can't adjust opportunities to spend time with your kids.

    Did you read Simon's response? He didn't take anything away from spending time with kids

    Of course he did. He also implied that if you cut down your cycling you'll grow fat and useless. But, as I've said, it's your choice.

    Moving on...

    I'm setting the turbo back up this week and the bikes going in for a service. Cheers guys
    http://www.strava.com/athletes/mrkev83

    Built for comfort... Not for speed
  • simon_e
    simon_e Posts: 1,707
    philthy3 wrote:
    Sorry but I think the response is pants.
    Blimey, I didn't realise someone would get so offended. There are many people who have neglected their health and regretted it. No need to take it so personally.
    Aspire not to have more, but to be more.
  • slowbike
    slowbike Posts: 8,498
    Having just the one is much easier - having a better 1/2 also into cycling makes getting out more interesting - because she'd want to go out when I do - so we have to squeeze both of us getting rides in ... but at least we're of a similar mindset.
    Of course, a better 1/2 into cycling too means we can go on long family rides with the little one on his own bike - tagged onto mine for roads or when he gets tired or when we need to go a bit faster ...

    Not missing out on the key moments is one reason why my cycling has taken a dive since Little SB has come along - because I try to balance my desire to keep fitter with being with him - I think it's about right with me commuting by bike as much as possible, family rides or just mess around rides and club rides as an when I can fit them in. Sure, I'm not as quick as I used to be, but it's still ticking over and hopefully I'll get a few more miles per year in when he's older.
  • andyh01
    andyh01 Posts: 599
    I'm in a similar position -we have two boys now 5 and 11.
    When just my eldest we had a tandem with a kiddi seat on as mode of transport to work and nursery.
    As he got older I got a tailgater and then trailer and took them to parks etc they both ride bikes as way of getting out. We sometimes load bikes onto car drive to cycle park and ride around.
    I stopped for a bit as things changed job no longer able to commute got lazy n felt guilty for wanting to be out. I had mood swings put on 35kg l. Last year I sorted my diet out a bit and got back tin to early morning rides and now started jogging a bit. I've lost the extra weight back to 65kg feel so much better for it more energy to run around after the kids...
    I did my first longest run last night 13 miles at 9 mins mile.
    Wife happier as I'm happier
  • mrkev83
    mrkev83 Posts: 184
    AndyH01 wrote:
    I'm in a similar position -we have two boys now 5 and 11.
    When just my eldest we had a tandem with a kiddi seat on as mode of transport to work and nursery.
    As he got older I got a tailgater and then trailer and took them to parks etc they both ride bikes as way of getting out. We sometimes load bikes onto car drive to cycle park and ride around.
    I stopped for a bit as things changed job no longer able to commute got lazy n felt guilty for wanting to be out. I had mood swings put on 35kg l. Last year I sorted my diet out a bit and got back tin to early morning rides and now started jogging a bit. I've lost the extra weight back to 65kg feel so much better for it more energy to run around after the kids...
    I did my first longest run last night 13 miles at 9 mins mile.
    Wife happier as I'm happier
    Must of been hard graft. Well done
    http://www.strava.com/athletes/mrkev83

    Built for comfort... Not for speed
  • andyh01
    andyh01 Posts: 599
    Tandem wasn't too hard for as only about 5 miles few hills was cool as worked for us really well and saved a fortune - we became quite well known for it. Few funny stories, on way home, the eldest who was toddler at time used to o fall asleep in the bike on the way home, he once helped himself to the wife's sandwiches out her rucksack without us knowing until she went for lunch at work..
    To start with we got a cheapest old Peugeot tandem with stoker drum brake off eBay , anyway after a while going down hill, we never went that fast anyway with kiddi on,I felt the steering feel heavy I slowed and gingerly carried on, shortly after the front wheel came off it had snapped just below the crown and we toppled to the side, wife panicked and wanted ambulance to check him over - he was fine...

    Point is, try and include them.family activity...some of the time either whilst the other half relaxes without the kids so they get a break or if they're also.in to it as a whole.family so when you want some you time faster/longer ride once or twice a week it's not as much of an impact
  • andyh01
    andyh01 Posts: 599
    Like tonight I was out with running club need to get milage up for 1/2 marathon in October, could've done 9 mile route or 7, did the 7 so was back home to kiss youngest good night all about compromise s
  • eeney
    eeney Posts: 18
    With both parents working and two young boys, I understand your challenge. I've basically taken to very early mornings, ie. finished riding by 6:30am, some days I've done 2hrs by that time. I go to bed at the same time as the kids and wake between 4-4:30, easy once you get used to it. I've got into a routine where I'm riding virtually everyday, average 350km per week. I do more focused riding, ie. no junk miles.
    I do most of my riding on the trainer, Zwift has massively changed indoor riding. I do Zwift training plans, or group rides (workouts, rides or races) almost daily. A couple of mornings per week I get outdoors, Saturday back by 9am, and one weekday when I'm back by 6:30... good thing is that roads are nice and quiet at the time I ride.
    It's hard to juggle young family and riding, but I've found my semi-nocturnal routine allows me some early morning 'my time' to workout. Best thing is that I get 'my time' out of the way whilst everyone is sleeping, then I'm happy to give the rest of my day to everyone else (family & work).
  • Suppose it depends what your work hours are but I used to do a few early morning rides, back by 8, quick shower and off to work. Hard when it's dark but you get used to it.

    However I also used to do chain gangs - leave the house 6:40 pm and back by 8 (I live a couple of miles from the start of the local chaingang) and Saturday mornings for a hard 60 mile group training ride - out at 8:30 back by 12. If I wasn't doing a chaingang then it'd be a turbo in the garage probably after the kids were in bed.

    Maybe it's just me but it's not unreasonable to set aside a bit of time for yourself - we had 3 young kids including twins - but my other half was more than capable of looking after them for a few hours. At the same time she would be at her running club two evenings a week and go on long weekend trips with her girlfriends doing marathons As I say it does depend on your work - if you aren't getting home til 7 pm 5 nights a week or having to work weekends too I understand things are different.
    [Castle Donington Ladies FC - going up in '22]
  • I think that my approach is very similar to everyone else, either train early in the morning or late at night on the turbo and then out early on the weekend each morning for a couple of hours.

    I used to commute a lot as it was only 13 miles each way, but I started a new job that is 30 miles each way nearly a year ago, so I've only ridden in a few times :(

    I normally do a couple of century rides each year, which means that I normally ramp my distances up to get 4+ hour rides in each weekend for training in the run up to the rides. I think I am going to not enter any for the next few years at least, just so I can limit my time to 1-2 hours on a Saturday & Sunday.

    My biggest issue is the Sunday afternoon Cyclocross bike races which are at 14:45, which takes me away from my family for 3-4 hours. I always try to limit it to my local'ish races, but unfortunately for me that has meant that I have been racing for the last 3 weekends which I feel a lot of guilt about.
  • slowbike
    slowbike Posts: 8,498
    but unfortunately for me that has meant that I have been racing for the last 3 weekends which I feel a lot of guilt about.

    yup - Its hard when you're out on your bike when the weather is perfect for an activity you want to do with your kid(s) - like this weekend .... and next weekend I'm away ... "it's only a weekend" ... it still feels like an eternity - especially when you want to be in two places at once!
  • StillGoing
    StillGoing Posts: 5,211
    As someone that has been gifted a second chance, you don't realise what you're missing until it's gone. My excuse is that I was away in the Army a lot and then working unsociable shifts in plod with my first two. By the time I had time, my two kids from my first marriage were past the "Daddy is great" stage and were teenagers with things to do. Having a new toddler and being retired, I'm seeing what I missed. You don't get a second chance often and I'm damn sure I'm taking it. Cycling will always take a back seat if it is a choice between spending time with my daughter or going for a ride.
    I ride a bike. Doesn't make me green or a tree hugger. I drive a car too.
  • mrkev83
    mrkev83 Posts: 184
    Early mornings and around the commute it's going to be...oh and learn how to use the turbo
    http://www.strava.com/athletes/mrkev83

    Built for comfort... Not for speed