thursday with a pineapple in a pear tree

BelgianBeerGeek

Stevo 666 wrote:

Pinno wrote:

I noticed first thing in the morning, I would let him out and he would always want to go when the cat went.
So I followed him sneakily. It took me a few attempts but there one morning, there was this very neat pile of leaves and steam rising from it. And there was my dog; gently scraping the leaves off the top to get access to the source of the steam. :roll:

Mine has a preference for fox s**t. Likes to roll in it as well which is really vile. Luckily he hates getting a bollocking and the full body shampoo and hose down that results from doing this so he usually thinks twice about it these days.

If you don’t have time for that, tomato sauce rubbed in the affected areas at least neutralises the niff. When we used walk our collie in the sticks he would always find some fox poo and the drive home would be grim. A sachet or two of ketchup nicked from a takeaway would always be in the car. Didn’t stop the little beast, though.
Anyway, evening all. Trying to do stuff today and got called into work for some pseudo-emergency. Utter, utter gits. Came home and needed some beer to calm down. Last day at work tomorrow for a bit, thank the gods.
Laters.

BelgianBeerGeek

Matthewfalle wrote:

darkhairedlord wrote:

Matthewfalle wrote:

darkhairedlord wrote:

Stevo 666 wrote:

hopkinb wrote:

Matthewfalle wrote:

hopkinb wrote:

Penultimate day before 16 days off work for only 2 days annual leave spend. Unfortunately I have to get a lot of sh!t done between now and Friday evening, but it's all in hand. At least I think it is.

how did you manage that one? its brilliant!

All the expats hightail it back to Japan, so they close the office from 21st December and re-open on the 3rd Jan and give it to us as paid holiday. I've taken 3rd and 4th off, and the weekend means I start back on the 7th Jan.

Hoppy, I hope that you managed to suppress a smirk as the expats wished you a 'Merry Christmas' before departing for Japan

Second last day in for me, got beer and curry this eve with a couple of mates as Thursday is the new Friday. Last outing before I'm imprisoned with family for a while...

I've just found out the SU bar won't be open tomorrow so might be working from home.

DHL - do you work/lecture on a university campus?

Someone's gotta do it.

cool!!!!!

Bracketeers beer session - never mind nerdy London pubs and plotting fake log ins, we're heading down the SU.

The MFs can't wait. ITS GONNA BE EPIC.

Do they still do snakebite and black?

pinno

It's always how proud they act when plastered in something very smelly.

1976. Missy Lee and Brandy* were all cut and preened and ready for the East African Dog show.
Missy 2 and Mum 6, sneaked out the morning of the show... they came back green. Covered in cow sh1t. Every square inch of them
Then it was a mad dash to get them in the bath and clean (somehow). We got there (or at least, my parents 'got there') and Missy won best junior Gundog and Brandy best in show.
That made us all quietly grin for a long time, knowing what had happened that morning.

*Brandy. Direct daughter of Hawkhill Connaught:

http://www.pedigreedatabase.com/english ... -connaught

Matthewfalle

BelgianBeerGeek wrote:

Matthewfalle wrote:

darkhairedlord wrote:

Matthewfalle wrote:

darkhairedlord wrote:

Stevo 666 wrote:

hopkinb wrote:

Matthewfalle wrote:

hopkinb wrote:

Penultimate day before 16 days off work for only 2 days annual leave spend. Unfortunately I have to get a lot of sh!t done between now and Friday evening, but it's all in hand. At least I think it is.

how did you manage that one? its brilliant!

All the expats hightail it back to Japan, so they close the office from 21st December and re-open on the 3rd Jan and give it to us as paid holiday. I've taken 3rd and 4th off, and the weekend means I start back on the 7th Jan.

Hoppy, I hope that you managed to suppress a smirk as the expats wished you a 'Merry Christmas' before departing for Japan

Second last day in for me, got beer and curry this eve with a couple of mates as Thursday is the new Friday. Last outing before I'm imprisoned with family for a while...

I've just found out the SU bar won't be open tomorrow so might be working from home.

DHL - do you work/lecture on a university campus?

Someone's gotta do it.

cool!!!!!

Bracketeers beer session - never mind nerdy London pubs and plotting fake log ins, we're heading down the SU.

The MFs can't wait. ITS GONNA BE EPIC.

Do they still do snakebite and black?

they will for us and beforehand WE SHALL DINE LIKE KINGS on Pot Noodle.

tlw1

Matthewfalle wrote:

BelgianBeerGeek wrote:

Matthewfalle wrote:

darkhairedlord wrote:

Matthewfalle wrote:

darkhairedlord wrote:

Stevo 666 wrote:

hopkinb wrote:

Matthewfalle wrote:

hopkinb wrote:

Penultimate day before 16 days off work for only 2 days annual leave spend. Unfortunately I have to get a lot of sh!t done between now and Friday evening, but it's all in hand. At least I think it is.

how did you manage that one? its brilliant!

All the expats hightail it back to Japan, so they close the office from 21st December and re-open on the 3rd Jan and give it to us as paid holiday. I've taken 3rd and 4th off, and the weekend means I start back on the 7th Jan.

Hoppy, I hope that you managed to suppress a smirk as the expats wished you a 'Merry Christmas' before departing for Japan

Second last day in for me, got beer and curry this eve with a couple of mates as Thursday is the new Friday. Last outing before I'm imprisoned with family for a while...

I've just found out the SU bar won't be open tomorrow so might be working from home.

DHL - do you work/lecture on a university campus?

Someone's gotta do it.

cool!!!!!

Bracketeers beer session - never mind nerdy London pubs and plotting fake log ins, we're heading down the SU.

The MFs can't wait. ITS GONNA BE EPIC.

Do they still do snakebite and black?

they will for us and beforehand WE SHALL DINE LIKE KINGS on Pot Noodle.

I want a fray bentos pie

pinno

TLW1 wrote:

I want a fray bentos pie

Do they still make those fekkin awful things?
I thought they died along with Spam.

tlw1

Pinno wrote:

TLW1 wrote:

I want a fray bentos pie

Do they still make those fekkin awful things?
I thought they died along with Spam.

Feck knows

I used to buy the drink and my mate would cook proper food

darkhairedlord

Pinno wrote:

TLW1 wrote:

I want a fray bentos pie

Do they still make those fekkin awful things?
I thought they died along with Spam.

Team brexit has just ordered 100 million of them for the stockpile.

BelgianBeerGeek

TLW1 wrote:

Pinno wrote:

TLW1 wrote:

I want a fray bentos pie

Do they still make those fekkin awful things?
I thought they died along with Spam.

Feck knows

I used to buy the drink and my mate would cook proper food

You can indeed still get Fray Bentos pies. I cooked a steak and kidney one a couple of years back. I remember them having more kidney in years ago but the current pie was a real disappointment. Bit like that cute girl you knew at school and you bump into her many years later and find she is enormous and has five kids. Memories are just that for a reason.
And I’m pleased to report Spam is a thing. You can get all kinds, including halal Spam, which I think is chicken. Amazing, eh?

Matthewfalle

boiled potatos and mayonnaise from Kwik Save for me. Lived on it for 3 years.

I fukking hate boiled potatos and cheap mayonnaise.

Matthewfalle

BelgianBeerGeek wrote:

TLW1 wrote:

Pinno wrote:

TLW1 wrote:

I want a fray bentos pie

Do they still make those fekkin awful things?
I thought they died along with Spam.

Feck knows

I used to buy the drink and my mate would cook proper food

You can indeed still get Fray Bentos pies. I cooked a steak and kidney one a couple of years back. I remember them having more kidney in years ago but the current pie was a real disappointment. Bit like that cute girl you knew at school and you bump into her many years later and find she is enormous and has five kids. Memories are just that for a reason.
And I’m pleased to report Spam is a thing. You can get all kinds, including halal Spam, which I think is chicken. Amazing, eh?

Spam rocks.

Thats the good thing about having an ambulance or tank: while everyone is carrying awful ration packs around and eating them you open back of your tank, saucepan, olive oil, herbs, Spam and chill out as the class 3 gently cooks your dinner under a setting sun on the Canadian praire.

#BATUS

BelgianBeerGeek

Pinno wrote:

It's always how proud they act when plastered in something very smelly.

1976. Missy Lee and Brandy* were all cut and preened and ready for the East African Dog show.
Missy 2 and Mum 6, sneaked out the morning of the show... they came back green. Covered in cow sh1t. Every square inch of them
Then it was a mad dash to get them in the bath and clean (somehow). We got there (or at least, my parents 'got there') and Missy won best junior Gundog and Brandy best in show.
That made us all quietly grin for a long time, knowing what had happened that morning.

*Brandy. Direct daughter of Hawkhill Connaught:

http://www.pedigreedatabase.com/english ... -connaught

Haha, that sums it up exactly: proud. The day my hound found a very rotten deer carcass to roll in (he was shiny and covered with maggots) I swear he was laughing at me.
Cool link, Pinno. My family have had Springers for years, lovely dogs. Daft, but lovely.

BelgianBeerGeek

Matthewfalle wrote:

BelgianBeerGeek wrote:

TLW1 wrote:

Pinno wrote:

TLW1 wrote:

I want a fray bentos pie

Do they still make those fekkin awful things?
I thought they died along with Spam.

Feck knows

I used to buy the drink and my mate would cook proper food

You can indeed still get Fray Bentos pies. I cooked a steak and kidney one a couple of years back. I remember them having more kidney in years ago but the current pie was a real disappointment. Bit like that cute girl you knew at school and you bump into her many years later and find she is enormous and has five kids. Memories are just that for a reason.
And I’m pleased to report Spam is a thing. You can get all kinds, including halal Spam, which I think is chicken. Amazing, eh?

Spam rocks.

Thats the good thing about having an ambulance or tank: while everyone is carrying awful ration packs around and eating them you open back of your tank, saucepan, olive oil, herbs, Spam and chill out as the class 3 gently cooks your dinner under a setting sun on the Canadian praire.

#BATUS

I did once drive the 432 ambulance on a Medman for our battle group. Late summer, so immensely hot during the day and cool and night which was most welcome. After the days shooting we would also go out to reset targets, put out fires caused by tracer, that sort of thing. And stop on the way back for some scran out of the BV, or a quick fry up in the middle of nowhere. Get eaten alive by mozzies, then lie on the decks and watch the dropshorts put on a firework display at night with a mug of hot chocolate. Happy times.

Matthewfalle

BelgianBeerGeek wrote:

Matthewfalle wrote:

BelgianBeerGeek wrote:

TLW1 wrote:

Pinno wrote:

TLW1 wrote:

I want a fray bentos pie

Do they still make those fekkin awful things?
I thought they died along with Spam.

Feck knows

I used to buy the drink and my mate would cook proper food

You can indeed still get Fray Bentos pies. I cooked a steak and kidney one a couple of years back. I remember them having more kidney in years ago but the current pie was a real disappointment. Bit like that cute girl you knew at school and you bump into her many years later and find she is enormous and has five kids. Memories are just that for a reason.
And I’m pleased to report Spam is a thing. You can get all kinds, including halal Spam, which I think is chicken. Amazing, eh?

Spam rocks.

Thats the good thing about having an ambulance or tank: while everyone is carrying awful ration packs around and eating them you open back of your tank, saucepan, olive oil, herbs, Spam and chill out as the class 3 gently cooks your dinner under a setting sun on the Canadian praire.

#BATUS

I did once drive the 432 ambulance on a Medman for our battle group. Late summer, so immensely hot during the day and cool and night which was most welcome. After the days shooting we would also go out to reset targets, put out fires caused by tracer, that sort of thing. And stop on the way back for some scran out of the BV, or a quick fry up in the middle of nowhere. Get eaten alive by mozzies, then lie on the decks and watch the dropshorts put on a firework display at night with a mug of hot chocolate. Happy times.

good times, good times.

then get the class 3 to do foot inspection on the guys/girls because its minging.

tlw1

BelgianBeerGeek wrote:

Pinno wrote:

It's always how proud they act when plastered in something very smelly.

1976. Missy Lee and Brandy* were all cut and preened and ready for the East African Dog show.
Missy 2 and Mum 6, sneaked out the morning of the show... they came back green. Covered in cow sh1t. Every square inch of them
Then it was a mad dash to get them in the bath and clean (somehow). We got there (or at least, my parents 'got there') and Missy won best junior Gundog and Brandy best in show.
That made us all quietly grin for a long time, knowing what had happened that morning.

*Brandy. Direct daughter of Hawkhill Connaught:

http://www.pedigreedatabase.com/english ... -connaught

Haha, that sums it up exactly: proud. The day my hound found a very rotten deer carcass to roll in (he was shiny and covered with maggots) I swear he was laughing at me.
Cool link, Pinno. My family have had Springers for years, lovely dogs. Daft, but lovely.

We always had boxers, but one year into springers, got to admit I’ve got a soft spot for them

BelgianBeerGeek

Matthewfalle wrote:

BelgianBeerGeek wrote:

Matthewfalle wrote:

BelgianBeerGeek wrote:

TLW1 wrote:

Pinno wrote:

TLW1 wrote:

I want a fray bentos pie

Do they still make those fekkin awful things?
I thought they died along with Spam.

Feck knows

I used to buy the drink and my mate would cook proper food

You can indeed still get Fray Bentos pies. I cooked a steak and kidney one a couple of years back. I remember them having more kidney in years ago but the current pie was a real disappointment. Bit like that cute girl you knew at school and you bump into her many years later and find she is enormous and has five kids. Memories are just that for a reason.
And I’m pleased to report Spam is a thing. You can get all kinds, including halal Spam, which I think is chicken. Amazing, eh?

Spam rocks.

Thats the good thing about having an ambulance or tank: while everyone is carrying awful ration packs around and eating them you open back of your tank, saucepan, olive oil, herbs, Spam and chill out as the class 3 gently cooks your dinner under a setting sun on the Canadian praire.

#BATUS

I did once drive the 432 ambulance on a Medman for our battle group. Late summer, so immensely hot during the day and cool and night which was most welcome. After the days shooting we would also go out to reset targets, put out fires caused by tracer, that sort of thing. And stop on the way back for some scran out of the BV, or a quick fry up in the middle of nowhere. Get eaten alive by mozzies, then lie on the decks and watch the dropshorts put on a firework display at night with a mug of hot chocolate. Happy times.

good times, good times.

then get the class 3 to do foot inspection on the guys/girls because its minging.

It’s worse than that. None of us were medics, “just” cav. I think our medic had done his course. I hope so, anyway. Luckily we weren’t called on to use our skills as our (female) MO went everywhere by helicopter. No sweaty squaddies and diesel for her.

big_harv

Hello, what. Bonjour!

Was anything deleted today? Where are the girls. By "girls" I may or may not include Bunglers.. What's all this about dogs and spam, might as well start a thread on khaki shorts and pipe cleaners.

BelgianBeerGeek

Big Harv wrote:

Hello, what. Bonjour!

Was anything deleted today? Where are the girls. By "girls" I may or may not include Bunglers.. What's all this about dogs and spam, might as well start a thread on khaki shorts and pipe cleaners.

In the absence of girls, some may be reduced to employing Spam to entice a spaniel to do a favour. Spaniels, eh?

hopkinb

So, we're all off down the union for a pint of Carlsberg export with a double vodka in it? A couple of big dabs of speed, 20 Marlboro lights, some cheap Moroccan flat press hash, then copping off with a girl with chronic cystitis, and I'll be transported back to the Southampton of the early 90's. Marvellous.

Stevo_666

BelgianBeerGeek wrote:

You can indeed still get Fray Bentos pies.

I'm sure the Macc Lads did a song about that.

pinno

Pinno's Dog Jackanory No.#3

Mad keen springers.

The Grey farm cat used to come visiting and sniffing out our (spade) female cats. Sometimes he'd sleep in the utility room, access via the cat flap. He was fine, except one day, I was stroking him and he had a spit and snarl at me out of the blue. My old Springer (Brutus) took exception at Boss man being scolded by a cat and got quite animated,
He chased the cat when it turned. Which was surprising as he lived with our cats harmoniously (they put him in his place when he was a pup).
From then on, I would say "Shhh... listen... bad pussy cat" at which point he would whimper and the eye's would be darting all over the place. Then he would scramble to get to the back door, i'd open it and he would go off into the pitch black at 100 mph barking his head off. After a short while he would come back trotting like a show horse, proud as punch that he had done his job.
99 times out of 100, there was no 'bad pussy cat'.

Matthewfalle

hopkinb wrote:

So, we're all off down the union for a pint of Carlsberg export with a double vodka in it? A couple of big dabs of speed, 20 Marlboro lights, some cheap Moroccan flat press hash, then copping off with a girl with chronic cystitis, and I'll be transported back to the Southampton of the early 90's. Marvellous.

visit to Bargain Booze prior to happy hour at the local then onto the SU for awful fake Guinness in a plastic pint pot and a burger from a vending machine cooked in a microwave before ending up with some first year bird from the hockey club was the way it was round these parts.

if it were a posh bird you'd get a portion of doner meat and chips on the way home.

BelgianBeerGeek

hopkinb wrote:

So, we're all off down the union for a pint of Carlsberg export with a double vodka in it? A couple of big dabs of speed, 20 Marlboro lights, some cheap Moroccan flat press hash, then copping off with a girl with chronic cystitis, and I'll be transported back to the Southampton of the early 90's. Marvellous.

Southampton hasn’t moved on much, hopkinb.
I take it that is your alma mater?

Matthewfalle

what you lot don't realise is that i'm actually serious and quite excited.

we once got banned for life from Stoke University SU on our first - and only - trip there.

I'm not even sure why we were as we didn't go to university there or know anyone that did.

Matthewfalle

and if none of you lot want to come then fukkit - me and the MFs will all go by ourself.

Matthewfalle

BelgianBeerGeek wrote:

hopkinb wrote:

So, we're all off down the union for a pint of Carlsberg export with a double vodka in it? A couple of big dabs of speed, 20 Marlboro lights, some cheap Moroccan flat press hash, then copping off with a girl with chronic cystitis, and I'll be transported back to the Southampton of the early 90's. Marvellous.

Southampton hasn’t moved on much, hopkinb.
I take it that is your alma mater?

no - she's from Lincoln, not Southampton.

He went to University in Southampton.

BelgianBeerGeek

Pinno wrote:

Pinno's Dog Jackanory No.#3

Mad keen springers.

The Grey farm cat used to come visiting and sniffing out our (spade) female cats. Sometimes he'd sleep in the utility room, access via the cat flap. He was fine, except one day, I was stroking him and he had a spit and snarl at me out of the blue. My old Springer (Brutus) took exception at Boss man being scolded by a cat and got quite animated,
He chased the cat when it turned. Which was surprising as he lived with our cats harmoniously (they put him in his place when he was a pup).
From then on, I would say "Shhh... listen... bad pussy cat" at which point he would whimper and the eye's would be darting all over the place. Then he would scramble to get to the back door, i'd open it and he would go off into the pitch black at 100 mph barking his head off. After a short while he would come back trotting like a show horse, proud as punch that he had done his job.
99 times out of 100, there was no 'bad pussy cat'.

But Brutus got a biscuit every time? Odd things, spaniels. They range from docile/boneless/comatose to manic hyperintelligence. When they go to work they are formidable. And they are exceedingly loyal beasts.

pinno

Matthewfalle wrote:

hopkinb wrote:

So, we're all off down the union for a pint of Carlsberg export with a double vodka in it? A couple of big dabs of speed, 20 Marlboro lights, some cheap Moroccan flat press hash, then copping off with a girl with chronic cystitis, and I'll be transported back to the Southampton of the early 90's. Marvellous.

visit to Bargain Booze prior to happy hour at the local then onto the SU for awful fake Guinness in a plastic pint pot and a burger from a vending machine cooked in a microwave before ending up with some first year bird from the hockey club was the way it was round these parts.

if it were a posh bird you'd get a portion of doner meat and chips on the way home.

6 pints of the cheapest Boddington's at the SU, a mad dash on the bikes into town, get into the Cafe Tabac or Fish n Fiddle, shish kebab and if it was a Friday, home slightly earlier to watch Banzai.
I was spoken for for the first 3 years at Uni and the last, a on the rebound mess.

BelgianBeerGeek

Matthewfalle wrote:

what you lot don't realise is that i'm actually serious and quite excited.

we once got banned for life from Stoke University SU on our first - and only - trip there.

I'm not even sure why we were as we didn't go to university there or know anyone that did.

‘Kinnell you got banned from Stoke? I thought that was an impossibility?

pinno

BelgianBeerGeek wrote:

And they are exceedingly loyal beasts.

I do love them. I like Boxers too funnily enough.