confessions Of A Cyclist

cowsham
cowsham Posts: 1,399
edited January 2019 in The cake stop
I voted for Brexit in 2016 and as a direct result I ran over and killed a bunny rabbit this morning on my cycle into work. :shock:
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  • bianchimoon
    bianchimoon Posts: 3,942
    Cowsham wrote:
    I voted for Brexit in 2016 and as a direct result I ran over and killed a bunny rabbit this morning on my cycle into work. :shock:
    At least the rabbits out of its misery, the rest of us will have to put up with this shoot :?
    All lies and jest..still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest....
  • cowsham
    cowsham Posts: 1,399
    Cowsham wrote:
    I voted for Brexit in 2016 and as a direct result I ran over and killed a bunny rabbit this morning on my cycle into work. :shock:
    At least the rabbits out of its misery, the rest of us will have to put up with this shoot :?

    Yes he certainly is -- like us, he didn't know which way to turn so I ran over him.
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 58,916
    Cowsham wrote:
    I voted for Brexit in 2016 and as a direct result I ran over and killed a bunny rabbit this morning on my cycle into work. :shock:
    Isn't is great how much of our own bad luck and crap judgment we can just blame on Brexit :) Seems to be a popular activity judging by another thread on here.
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • cowsham
    cowsham Posts: 1,399
    Stevo 666 wrote:
    Cowsham wrote:
    I voted for Brexit in 2016 and as a direct result I ran over and killed a bunny rabbit this morning on my cycle into work. :shock:
    Isn't is great how much of our own bad luck and crap judgment we can just blame on Brexit :) Seems to be a popular activity judging by another thread on here.

    Yes Steve I think the same fate will happen to Mrs May -- she's just a remoaner put into office to carry out the wishes of the majority of this land which is brexit so how did they think that was going to go?

    But hey what do I know I'm just a knuckle dragging brexshitter.
  • robert88
    robert88 Posts: 2,696
    Cowsham wrote:
    But hey what do I know I'm just a knuckle dragging brexshitter.

    Oh! :shock:

    My S-i-L is one of them (I don't know any others). She has huge debts - her husband bought a pub, mainly cos he likes drinking lots of beer and it's now owned by the bank in effect and boarded up with the locks changed. She has a low level job with a company that just moved so her commute is 3x as far but she's too apathetic to look for another. Her husband is claiming benefits, having no job and poor health but still rants against the state.

    Luckily all their misfortunes will be resolved by Brexit. Ain't that wonderful?
  • Matthewfalle
    Matthewfalle Posts: 17,380
    This is all really disappointing - there is another thread for this kind of bickering.

    MF, MF, MF and I thought that this was going to be like proper confessions: "I was riding along and saw a donkey in a field so I stole it and left it in a friend's bathroom" kind of stuff rather than the bollox above.

    Oh well.............................
    Postby team47b » Sun Jun 28, 2015 11:53 am

    De Sisti wrote:
    This is one of the silliest threads I've come across. :lol:

    Recognition at last Matthew, well done!, a justified honour :D
    smithy21 wrote:

    He's right you know.
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 58,916
    This is all really disappointing - there is another thread for this kind of bickering.

    MF, MF, MF and I thought that this was going to be like proper confessions: "I was riding along and saw a donkey in a field so I stole it and left it in a friend's bathroom" kind of stuff rather than the bollox above.

    Oh well.............................
    You start then...got any good confessions?
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • cowsham
    cowsham Posts: 1,399
    This is all really disappointing - there is another thread for this kind of bickering.

    MF, MF, MF and I thought that this was going to be like proper confessions: "I was riding along and saw a donkey in a field so I stole it and left it in a friend's bathroom" kind of stuff rather than the bollox above.

    Oh well.............................

    At least one of you is right and I agree down with that sort of thing --- the poor bunny reminded me of Mrs May at this moment in time.

    Here's one ---- me admitting I need to wear a cycling nappy ( on the longer journeys ) and hence the Lycra after deriding all who wear it --- can't bring myself to even give it it's proper title.
  • surrey_commuter
    surrey_commuter Posts: 18,867
    Cowsham wrote:
    This is all really disappointing - there is another thread for this kind of bickering.

    MF, MF, MF and I thought that this was going to be like proper confessions: "I was riding along and saw a donkey in a field so I stole it and left it in a friend's bathroom" kind of stuff rather than the bollox above.

    Oh well.............................

    At least one of you is right and I agree down with that sort of thing --- the poor bunny reminded me of Mrs May at this moment in time.

    Here's one ---- me admitting I need to wear a cycling nappy ( on the longer journeys ) and hence the Lycra after deriding all who wear it --- can't bring myself to even give it it's proper title.

    Why in God’s name would you not stop and have a pee by the side of the road?
  • BelgianBeerGeek
    BelgianBeerGeek Posts: 5,226
    One day my gorgeous neighbour asked if I could help her repair her puncture...
    Stats summink like this?
    Ecrasez l’infame
  • plowmar
    plowmar Posts: 1,032
    Or go through towns with loos. All pubs and eating establishments have to have loos.
  • cowsham
    cowsham Posts: 1,399
    One day my gorgeous neighbour asked if I could help her repair her puncture...
    Stats summink like this?


    Only if you pumped er up afterwards.
  • cowsham
    cowsham Posts: 1,399
    plowmar wrote:
    Or go through towns with loos. All pubs and eating establishments have to have loos.

    I do this -- Mc Donald's is the easy target, pubs next easiest but you need a little more nerve to pull it off ( definitely no pun intended ) using the loo in a fancy restaurant -- I've done that too, just walked in bold as brass ( I pretend I own the place ) dripping with sweat, past posh fishface and his boyfriend straight into the loo, leave my deposit and go.
  • straas
    straas Posts: 338
    I farted on a clubrun and didn't know whether I'd shat myself until I got home (I hadn't)
    FCN: 6
  • veronese68
    veronese68 Posts: 27,425
    Once saw a very lovely young lady doctor and we were talking about broken ribs, she broke four of hers when a rabbit ran into her front wheel as she was going down a hill at speed. Still, it was worse for the rabbit I guess.
  • haydenm
    haydenm Posts: 2,997
    I rode directly over a badger once and stayed on, night time, first ride clipped in. My bike handling is Sagan level.
  • mrfpb
    mrfpb Posts: 4,569
    It's at this time of year that I tend to have a massacre of the frogs ride. anywhere off rode or on a cycle path, there will be a path with hundreds of golf ball sized frogs that are to immature to get out of the way. I thinks 20 is my record for squished frogs on one path about half a mile long.
  • cowsham
    cowsham Posts: 1,399
    straas wrote:
    I farted on a clubrun and didn't know whether I'd shat myself until I got home (I hadn't)

    That's nice
  • Stevo_666
    Stevo_666 Posts: 58,916
    Cowsham wrote:
    straas wrote:
    I farted on a clubrun and didn't know whether I'd shat myself until I got home (I hadn't)

    That's nice
    Probably wasn't very nice for the bloke riding behind him either.
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • cowsham
    cowsham Posts: 1,399
    Veronese68 wrote:
    Once saw a very lovely young lady doctor and we were talking about broken ribs, she broke four of hers when a rabbit ran into her front wheel as she was going down a hill at speed. Still, it was worse for the rabbit I guess.

    The one I killed didn't take me off but I could feel the crunch of it's bones -- yuck !
  • rjsterry
    rjsterry Posts: 27,916
    Cowsham wrote:
    Veronese68 wrote:
    Once saw a very lovely young lady doctor and we were talking about broken ribs, she broke four of hers when a rabbit ran into her front wheel as she was going down a hill at speed. Still, it was worse for the rabbit I guess.

    The one I killed didn't take me off but I could feel the crunch of it's bones -- yuck !

    Better a swift crunch than it dragging its wounded body into a ditch. Also better fresh than getting someone else's three day old roadkill splattered up your shins.
    1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
    Pinnacle Monzonite

    Part of the anti-growth coalition
  • cowsham
    cowsham Posts: 1,399
    mrfpb wrote:
    It's at this time of year that I tend to have a massacre of the frogs ride. anywhere off rode or on a cycle path, there will be a path with hundreds of golf ball sized frogs that are to immature to get out of the way. I thinks 20 is my record for squished frogs on one path about half a mile long.

    I have a bit of a reputation for running down animals with my vehicles -- birds dogs cats ducks badgers and a sheep BTW if you ever hit a sheep don't tell your workmates you split the sheep in two.
  • cowsham
    cowsham Posts: 1,399
    Ran over something like a large plastic bottle top on this mornings commute as I was leaned over -- it almost had me off but the object skighted out from below my tyre and rattled off a car door with a loud ding -- I'm sure the woman driver was mortified.
  • FishFish
    FishFish Posts: 2,152
    I vomited on a trainee nurse of the Glasgow Western Infirmary when in the process of losing my virginity. I don't suppose she's forgotten the episode either.
    ...take your pickelf on your holibobs.... :D

    jeez :roll:
  • FishFish
    FishFish Posts: 2,152
    Cowsham wrote:
    BTW if you ever hit a sheep don't tell your workmates you split the sheep in two.


    Well I usually split a sheep - neigh - a horse in two when I shag it.
    ...take your pickelf on your holibobs.... :D

    jeez :roll:
  • robert88
    robert88 Posts: 2,696
    Was behind a cyclist when they ran straight over a cat. I and others managed to swerve around the casualty who was in a right mess. So was their bike.

    We were also concerned for the cat that afterwards ran off at high speed. It was sitting on a shed ins someone's garden looking absolutely fine. That was before Brexit, of course.
  • FishFish
    FishFish Posts: 2,152
    I don't believe you.
    ...take your pickelf on your holibobs.... :D

    jeez :roll:
  • robert88
    robert88 Posts: 2,696
    FishFish wrote:
    I don't believe you.

    It certainly was before Brexit. I have witnesses.
  • FishFish
    FishFish Posts: 2,152
    There was NOTHING before Brexit but the firmament of nascent stars. And God saw that this was good and He created Brexit in his image.
    ...take your pickelf on your holibobs.... :D

    jeez :roll:
  • bianchimoon
    bianchimoon Posts: 3,942
    Ahh I see, atheists would vote stay based on rational thought processes, and Religulous folk would vote leave based on blind faith and belief?
    makes sense
    All lies and jest..still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest....