monday giant lizards, everywhere

hopkinb

Even better, offshore a bunch of processes to somewhere cheap, but where they have no one who can do the job. Call it something zappy, maybe with "hub" as a suffix. Maybe TaxHub. Sell it to senior folk on the basis of cost savings. Spend £ millions on recruiting staff in cheap foreign location who are incompetent and leave. Continue to employ all the people who used to do the job, but as contractors, for more money. Make sure you're Teflon when it all goes to sh!t. Sack several minions. Soon you will rule the UNIVERSE.

hopkinb

Matthewfalle wrote:

hopkinb wrote:

Call the inefficiencies something zappy, preferably with a numerical suffix, seeing as how we are all about tech now, and the numbers mean tech. Maybe something like Systax 3.1. Do a presentation. Put some bullsh!t in it. Get someone sufficiently senior to buy in to it. Roll it out. Make sure you're Teflon when it all goes to sh!t and gets kicked into the long grass. Sack a minion. Rinse and repeat. Soon you will rule the world.

You forgot the important bit:

Pay H3 and MF massive royalties for devising the whole shebang in the beginning.

Unfortunately the Big 4 have cornered the market in this shyte. Maybe we could set up a boutique advisory firm. Boutique means small and expensive, so it must be good.

I have to start drinking again. It's all a facade!



Pays the mortgage if I keep quiet though.

:roll:

sungod

Stevo 666 wrote:

Inefficiently - told we were on a trial then it got delayed and delayed more, then told it wasn't happening but we have to stick around in case they need us for another one today; then later got told nothing was happening today and can we come back to tomorrow for another one - possibly. It was gone 3.30 by time we were told that we could clear off :roll:

If I wasted people's time like that I'd get a right kick up the arris. In the meantime I've got real work to do, tax doesn't just avoid* itself you know.

couple more days and they'll probably tell you to sod off

if there's a threat of a long one, say 'no, because [whatever reason you can come up with]'

*ftfy, note i said avoid not evade

Stevo_666

hopkinb wrote:

Call the inefficiencies something zappy, preferably with a numerical suffix, seeing as how we are all about tech now, and the numbers mean tech. Maybe something like Systax 3.1. Do a presentation. Put some bullsh!t in it. Get someone sufficiently senior to buy in to it. Roll it out. Make sure you're Teflon when it all goes to sh!t and gets kicked into the long grass. Sack a minion. Rinse and repeat. Soon you will rule the world.

Been there, done it, got the CD 8)



Just working on the offshoring stuff...

Stevo_666

sungod wrote:

Stevo 666 wrote:

Inefficiently - told we were on a trial then it got delayed and delayed more, then told it wasn't happening but we have to stick around in case they need us for another one today; then later got told nothing was happening today and can we come back to tomorrow for another one - possibly. It was gone 3.30 by time we were told that we could clear off :roll:

If I wasted people's time like that I'd get a right kick up the arris. In the meantime I've got real work to do, tax doesn't just avoid* itself you know.

couple more days and they'll probably tell you to sod off

if there's a threat of a long one, say 'no, because [whatever reason you can come up with]'

*ftfy, note i said avoid not evade

We're probably going on one tomorrow - hopefully shortish. They've said they will put the first week noobs on the longer ones.

You say avoid, I say save - like rescuing

Wheelspinner

Veronese68 wrote:

Wheelspinner wrote:

Scaffolding.

This isn't a reference to lolly pop sticks and elastic bands is it?

Lordy no.

Besides, everyone knows the best solutions these days are Di2-based hydraulic systems.