tuesday like a spanner onto a tiled floor

pinno

If anything, you'd want to be a merchant banker. Those f*ckers earn silly money.
Then again, there's re-insurance...

step83

Can confirm merchant *ankers are rather loaded.

Tnoon, odd day hear with bimbo this morning stated no rain, its been raining on an off last couple hours an all I have I could use to protect myself is a Banana.

Anyway annoy the local Argos later to pick up an eBay order which has turned up two days early and debate meal choice this evening.

pinno

Stevo 666 wrote:

Pinno wrote:

You can do more that Stevo. He's completely shyte at fettling.

I listened at school for a reason...

...and the reason is?!

So I can fix things. I can re-build an engine. I can fettle my bike. I can do multiple DIY jobs. Do you think for a single second, that I would prefer to be sat behind a desk playing corporate games on the 9-5 treadmill just so that I can pay some bloke to do the work that I couldn't do?
Will you ever be able to look at something you did or made and say 'I did that' ? No but you will be able to say 'I paid a bloke to do that'.

I get zero satisfaction out of paying some one to do something that I could have done myself. When you are sat in your slippers drinking Ovaltine, happy in the satisfaction you built up a sizeable pension pot (for deluxe incontinence pads) and looking back on your life, apart from a pile of papers and some numbers, what will you say you have actually achieved? Of course, you'll have plenty of time to watch 'About Schmidt' 30 times and look out for all the non similar things (if there are any).

Is the bottom line the numerical figure that you receive for doing whatever you do, regardless of the effort and skill required to do it?

As an aside, I am surprised you actually come on BR and fraternise with the proletariat.

Matthewfalle

hopkinb wrote:

Matthewfalle wrote:

Just Get rid of the factors are holding you back from a life of blow and whores. Ship the kids off to a gran or an aunt somewhere, get rid of the crib and doss down in a mate's garage or she'd.

Blow and whores go-go.

Simples, innit.

You'll thank me when you've done it and you know it.

I'll let you know how that goes....

Can you spare a quid? I've got a place in a hostel, and I just need £3 to get in. I used to have it all you know. Wife, kids, job, house. Then I chucked it all in for a life of blow and whores. I got a short gram of vim-laced talcum powder and a half hearted tug job round the back of a skip off an 79 year old crack whore who swore blind she was 52.

Sounds like a normal Tuesday night out in Cwmbran.

I just reckon you're too scared to live your dreams as blow and whores. Pinno and The Gazlar - not to mention Seano, T47, etc - would have the cojones to do it without a second thought.

Matthewfalle

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!! My arms hurt sooooooo much. Think I may cut them off to stop the pain.

seanoconn

Matthewfalle wrote:

hopkinb wrote:

Matthewfalle wrote:

Just Get rid of the factors are holding you back from a life of blow and whores. Ship the kids off to a gran or an aunt somewhere, get rid of the crib and doss down in a mate's garage or she'd.

Blow and whores go-go.

Simples, innit.

You'll thank me when you've done it and you know it.

I'll let you know how that goes....

Can you spare a quid? I've got a place in a hostel, and I just need £3 to get in. I used to have it all you know. Wife, kids, job, house. Then I chucked it all in for a life of blow and whores. I got a short gram of vim-laced talcum powder and a half hearted tug job round the back of a skip off an 79 year old crack whore who swore blind she was 52.

Sounds like a normal Tuesday night out in Cwmbran.

I just reckon you're too scared to live your dreams as blow and whores. Pinno and The Gazlar - not to mention Seano, T47, etc - would have the cojones to do it without a second thought.

The cojones club Although I'm sure some on that list are down to one cojone.

Matthewfalle

Are you calling the BBers Hiltler????.?.?????????

I call Godwins.

Stevo_666

Pinno wrote:

Stevo 666 wrote:

Pinno wrote:

You can do more that Stevo. He's completely shyte at fettling.

I listened at school for a reason...

...and the reason is?!

So I can fix things. I can re-build an engine. I can fettle my bike. I can do multiple DIY jobs. Do you think for a single second, that I would prefer to be sat behind a desk playing corporate games on the 9-5 treadmill just so that I can pay some bloke to do the work that I couldn't do?
Will you ever be able to look at something you did or made and say 'I did that' ? No but you will be able to say 'I paid a bloke to do that'.

I get zero satisfaction out of paying some one to do something that I could have done myself. When you are sat in your slippers drinking Ovaltine, happy in the satisfaction you built up a sizeable pension pot (for deluxe incontinence pads) and looking back on your life, apart from a pile of papers and some numbers, what will you say you have actually achieved? Of course, you'll have plenty of time to watch 'About Schmidt' 30 times and look out for all the non similar things (if there are any).

Is the bottom line the numerical figure that you receive for doing whatever you do, regardless of the effort and skill required to do it?

As an aside, I am surprised you actually come on BR and fraternise with the proletariat.

....so I don't have to do manual labour is the answer.

Don't like spannering and I'm not very good at it. In fact I'm more useless at spannering than Arsenal are at winning the Champions League

And when I pay people to do stuff for me that's more time for me to do the stuff I want to do. Simples

And the next time you get all serious on me in BB I'm making an official complaint.

webboo

Pinno wrote:

Stevo 666 wrote:

Pinno wrote:

You can do more that Stevo. He's completely shyte at fettling.

I listened at school for a reason...

...and the reason is?!

So I can fix things. I can re-build an engine. I can fettle my bike. I can do multiple DIY jobs. Do you think for a single second, that I would prefer to be sat behind a desk playing corporate games on the 9-5 treadmill just so that I can pay some bloke to do the work that I couldn't do?
Will you ever be able to look at something you did or made and say 'I did that' ? No but you will be able to say 'I paid a bloke to do that'.

I get zero satisfaction out of paying some one to do something that I could have done myself. When you are sat in your slippers drinking Ovaltine, happy in the satisfaction you built up a sizeable pension pot (for deluxe incontinence pads) and looking back on your life, apart from a pile of papers and some numbers, what will you say you have actually achieved? Of course, you'll have plenty of time to watch 'About Schmidt' 30 times and look out for all the non similar things (if there are any).

Is the bottom line the numerical figure that you receive for doing whatever you do, regardless of the effort and skill required to do it?

As an aside, I am surprised you actually come on BR and fraternise with the proletariat.

So do you prefer to give yourself a blow job or get your other half to do it for you.

pinno

Stevo 666 wrote:

Pinno wrote:

Stevo 666 wrote:

Pinno wrote:

You can do more that Stevo. He's completely shyte at fettling.

I listened at school for a reason...

...and the reason is?!

So...proletariat.

....so I don't have to do manual labour is the answer.

Don't like spannering and I'm not very good at it. In fact I'm more useless at spannering than Arsenal are at winning the Champions League

And when I pay people to do stuff for me that's more time for me to do the stuff I want to do. Simples

And the next time you get all serious on me in BB I'm making an official complaint.

Someone has to temper your condescension. Anyway, seen as you're useless at most things, do you want a hand with writing that complaint?

Matthewfalle

Hang on, hang on - check on fellas! What's all this bickering?

Cut it ou now - you know we only save the arguing for the real bell ends on here. We all know the ones.

tlw1

Pinno wrote:

Stevo 666 wrote:

Pinno wrote:

Stevo 666 wrote:

Pinno wrote:

You can do more that Stevo. He's completely shyte at fettling.

I listened at school for a reason...

...and the reason is?!

So...proletariat.

....so I don't have to do manual labour is the answer.

Don't like spannering and I'm not very good at it. In fact I'm more useless at spannering than Arsenal are at winning the Champions League

And when I pay people to do stuff for me that's more time for me to do the stuff I want to do. Simples

And the next time you get all serious on me in BB I'm making an official complaint.

Someone has to temper your condescension. Anyway, seen as you're useless at most things, do you want a hand with writing that complaint?

He has already had lots of offers

hopkinb

I like spannering, I'm just shite at it. Takes me ages, and there's always something left over that looks important. Sense of satisfaction is high when it works though. Practice makes perfect.

Stevo_666

Path, double post. Should have left it to the minions.

Stevo_666

TLW1 wrote:

Pinno wrote:

do you want a hand with writing that complaint?

He has already had lots of offers

Thanks everyone

In the meantime I'll post some chill pills North of the border. Or come to think of it, I'll pay someone else to do it

hopkinb

Matthewfalle wrote:

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!! My arms hurt sooooooo much. Think I may cut them off to stop the pain.

You've not been injecting that vim-laced gear from Cwmbran have you? Stings on the way in, but it'll see you all right.

pinno

Matthewfalle wrote:

Hang on, hang on - check on fellas! What's all this bickering?

Cut it ou now - you know we only save the arguing for the real bell ends on here. We all know the ones.

Who said you could stick your oar in?

You still haven't explained why your arms are sore.

Matthewfalle

hopkinb wrote:

Matthewfalle wrote:

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!! My arms hurt sooooooo much. Think I may cut them off to stop the pain.

You've not been injecting that vim-laced gear from Cwmbran have you? Stings on the way in, but it'll see you all right.

My arms hurt more than a wet weekend in Aberystwyth being buggered by a thousand valley girls. Clip state alpha. So much pain. Have been reduced to drinking beer, eating popcorn and watching You Tube (face plant specials - actually really good).

Matthewfalle

Pinno wrote:

Matthewfalle wrote:

Hang on, hang on - check on fellas! What's all this bickering?

Cut it ou now - you know we only save the arguing for the real bell ends on here. We all know the ones.

Who said you could stick your oar in?

You still haven't explained why your arms are sore.

TDN did - she said that I was the only sensible around here so I'd better wade in and sort it out.

Multiple reasons rear horrendously hurting arms: I burnt the inside of my right bicep with a frying pan a few days ago and it's gone all weird and red and stuff and hurts really feckin' badly and hurts even more than things that hurt really badly.

I also had my jabs to go away today (about a million in each arm) so now have arms that really hurt.

Couple my festering burn and the millions of needles that went into me then I am officially in clip state Alpha, the highest level ever of pain.

pinno

You can get that alpha clip stuff at Edwyn's. I prefer Blu Tack, available at WH Smiths. Other suppliers are available.

Now, I presume the jabs are vaccines including anti-malarial and anti ebolaids but the frying pan, wtf is that all about? Or is it because your part Italian and you have proper domestics not this faffing around namby pamby British domestics?

Matthewfalle

Pinno wrote:

You can get that alpha clip stuff at Edwyn's. I prefer Blu Tack, available at WH Smiths. Other suppliers are available.

Now, I presume the jabs are vaccines including anti-malarial and anti ebolaids but the frying pan, wtf is that all about? Or is it because your part Italian and you have proper domestics not this faffing around namby pamby British domestics?

Last time I asked Edwyn to put something up on my wall he nailed my Debbie Gibson poster to a water pipe. Came home to a crazy gangsta crib that was less South Central LA and more Basingstoke Baths.

Frying pan attacked me. Obviously jealous of my wit and good looks. Naturally I smashed it with a hammer and set fire to it with fire before lobbing it into next door's garden.

My arms really, really, really hurt. If I was a lesser person I would cry.

Matthewfalle

Following the pain inflicted on me by the frying pan, I have decided never to feed my family again. Hot food, cold food, whatever - pluck them. This feeding people stuff is well dangerous.

I'm going to live on top of Edwyn's doner meat emporioum and every time I'm hungry I just need to call down on the (patented) Edwyn-a-phone and get food sent up.

pinno

You're not being sent to El Salvador again are you?!

pinno

Webboo wrote:

So do you prefer to give yourself a blow job or get your other half to do it for you.

It's immaterial: Either way, I don't pay for it

Matthewfalle

Pinno wrote:

You're not being sent to El Salvador again are you?!

Unfortunately not - I've just finished looking at where I'm going and it's really awful. Pants. Has potential to be shockingly awful.

pinno

Milton Keynes?

slowmart

MF Treat yourself to a quick one off the wrist while looking at a well stained lab coat. Just lie on the sorest arm until it goes to sleep and then begin and it'll feel like lab coat girl will be assisting you.

Stevo, is the thought of a Labour win keeping you awake at night? It's Mays to lose and it's started to unravel for the Tories simply from the sheer enptitude of the PM. It seems we could be fucked equally and we will be reduced to a barter system for goods....

slowmart

And can someone tell me why the medical profession make the worst patients by far?

pinno

Slowmart wrote:

MF Treat yourself to a quick one off the wrist while looking at a well stained lab coat. Just lie on the sorest arm until it goes to sleep and then begin and it'll feel like lab coat girl will be assisting you.

Stevo, is the thought of a Labour win keeping you awake at night? It's Mays to lose and it's started to unravel for the Tories simply from the sheer enptitude of the PM. It seems we could be farked equally and we will be reduced to a barter system for goods....

I always wanted to know how many Camels a rich Arab would give me for my sister. Now she's getting a bit rough around the edges (and the fact she got married), it may have halved her value.

Matthewfalle

Slowmart wrote:

And can someone tell me why the medical profession make the worst patients by far?

Because everything we get is 10,000 times more potent than the equivalent thing that you lot get.

Your dose of fatal ebolaids? Ha! Nothing more than a springtime sneeze to us. Our dose of fatal ebolaids? Enough to wipe out Bratislava in 7 minutes.

If any of you had the Frying Pan Burn of Death on your arm your whole body would be shrivelled up. Me - I just laugh in the face of acute agony and carry on. Like good old Babs getting smashed by the Krays in an alley in East London (well, one of the Krays but I can't remember which one offhand).