Dream jobs

Matthewfalle

Rick Chasey wrote:

Matthewfalle wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

Garry H wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

If I was good at it, I can't see why I wouldn't like being a hedgie.

A Hedgehog? Nah, you'd be shite.

Hedge fund Portfolio manager.

So, any job in the world and you want to do that?

Blimey - for once I am lost for words......

Personally I'd rather beat my bell end wafer thin with a steak tenderiser.

What's not to like? Be paid a fair bit to be right about stuff?

Even better if you can do it being contrarian.

Unfortunately I'm not very good at being right about that stuff.

Shuffling paper in a room full of arrogant dullards whilst making no difference to the world or being of any use to anyone, anywhere.

Yeah, what's not to like. Sounds like you'd like you'd meet some really great people as well who would feck you over at a second's notice in order to make another tenner whilst children around the world starve and die.

Seriously? Dream job?


I'd rather be RAF Regiment.

Matthewfalle

Garry H wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

Welcome .

What do you do? Recruitment isn't it?

Personnel I think.

Matthewfalle

Garry H wrote:

A millionaire astronaut playboy.

Astronaut vacancies on the NASA website - I kid you not.

Popped on there the other night out of interest - didn't realise that so much stuff was sub contracted.

Garry H

What about the millionaire bit?

Matthewfalle

No - none of them. Just common and garden astronaut - sort of schizzle anyone can do. Apart from Rick that is. He wants to manage hedges,

Thick Mike

Secondary school Chemistry teacher with a magic lackey who does all the marking and data and parents evenings and coursework and planning and meetings.

Unfortunately, I'm doing my dream job without the magic lackey.

4kicks

Leaving aside Lions Rugby team captain (I'm not eligible as I'm not Welsh) my current gaff, owning and operating a small Hotel in Mallorca, ticks most of the boxes. This is my fifth career after Army Officer, Engineering Project Manager building a factory in Yemen, Strategy Consultant and Media Exec for MTV. All good, but the combination of setting own hours, having enough money to do enough of what I want, being able to go cycling 4 or 5 times a week, and living in a great place is probably a winner. But ALL jobs have pluses and minuses, and I could have made any of the previous ones work for me well, so "Ideal" is more about me than it. Even this one has downsides, curiously not the clients who are great but, for example when a staff member calls in sick and we have to do a double shift reminds me that nothing Is perfect. Except my wife...

rick_chasey

Matthewfalle wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

Matthewfalle wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

Garry H wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

If I was good at it, I can't see why I wouldn't like being a hedgie.

A Hedgehog? Nah, you'd be shite.

Hedge fund Portfolio manager.

So, any job in the world and you want to do that?

Blimey - for once I am lost for words......

Personally I'd rather beat my bell end wafer thin with a steak tenderiser.

What's not to like? Be paid a fair bit to be right about stuff?

Even better if you can do it being contrarian.

Unfortunately I'm not very good at being right about that stuff.

Shuffling paper in a room full of arrogant dullards whilst making no difference to the world or being of any use to anyone, anywhere.

Yeah, what's not to like. Sounds like you'd like you'd meet some really great people as well who would feck you over at a second's notice in order to make another tenner whilst children around the world starve and die.

Seriously? Dream job?


I'd rather be RAF Regiment.

S'not how I'd describe it. It's not so much shuffling paper as trying to be a good gambler.

There are people who want to screw you over in any company in any industry, so I'm relaxed about that - dream jobs come with dream company cultures, presumably.

I just like the idea of markets being a bunch of opinions, and to make outsized returns you need to have better opinions than the rest. I imagine I would like the challenge and like the game of doing so.

I'd struggle in the army or indeed anywhere where hierarchy is a big factor.

4kicks

Matthewfalle wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

Matthewfalle wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

Garry H wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

If I was good at it, I can't see why I wouldn't like being a hedgie.

A Hedgehog? Nah, you'd be shite.

Hedge fund Portfolio manager.

So, any job in the world and you want to do that?

Blimey - for once I am lost for words......

Personally I'd rather beat my bell end wafer thin with a steak tenderiser.

What's not to like? Be paid a fair bit to be right about stuff?

Even better if you can do it being contrarian.

Unfortunately I'm not very good at being right about that stuff.

Shuffling paper in a room full of arrogant dullards whilst making no difference to the world or being of any use to anyone, anywhere.

Yeah, what's not to like. Sounds like you'd like you'd meet some really great people as well who would feck you over at a second's notice in order to make another tenner whilst children around the world starve and die.

Seriously? Dream job?


I'd rather be RAF Regiment.

Agree. Except the RAF Regment thing. Not even the Rock Apes themselves would describe it as a "dream job", more of a "nobody likes us but we don't care" kind of thing .

Garry H

4kicks wrote:

Matthewfalle wrote:

I'd rather be RAF Regiment.

Agree. Except the RAF Regment thing. Not even the Rock Apes themselves would describe it as a "dream job", more of a "nobody likes us but we don't care" kind of thing .

Can't they just outsource what they do to G4S or somebody?

Matthewfalle

Garry H wrote:

4kicks wrote:

Matthewfalle wrote:

I'd rather be RAF Regiment.

Agree. Except the RAF Regment thing. Not even the Rock Apes themselves would describe it as a "dream job", more of a "nobody likes us but we don't care" kind of thing .

Can't they just outsource what they do to G4S or somebody?

RAF Regiment.

When you find G4S too intense.

twist83

4kicks wrote:

Leaving aside Lions Rugby team captain (I'm not eligible as I'm not Welsh) my current gaff, owning and operating a small Hotel in Mallorca, ticks most of the boxes. This is my fifth career after Army Officer, Engineering Project Manager building a factory in Yemen, Strategy Consultant and Media Exec for MTV. All good, but the combination of setting own hours, having enough money to do enough of what I want, being able to go cycling 4 or 5 times a week, and living in a great place is probably a winner. But ALL jobs have pluses and minuses, and I could have made any of the previous ones work for me well, so "Ideal" is more about me than it. Even this one has downsides, curiously not the clients who are great but, for example when a staff member calls in sick and we have to do a double shift reminds me that nothing Is perfect. Except my wife...

Sounds pretty good to me!!!

FishFish

Today I accepted an offer as head of audit, risk management and legal compliance for an FTSE 250. Good pay and 80% travel. Turn up to 4 Audit Committee meetings a year and everything else is by and large down to me! This is my third job at this level and I really enjoy it. So - my dream job.

mr_goo

Matthewfalle wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

Matthewfalle wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

Garry H wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

If I was good at it, I can't see why I wouldn't like being a hedgie.

A Hedgehog? Nah, you'd be shite.

Hedge fund Portfolio manager.

So, any job in the world and you want to do that?

Blimey - for once I am lost for words......

Personally I'd rather beat my bell end wafer thin with a steak tenderiser.

What's not to like? Be paid a fair bit to be right about stuff?

Even better if you can do it being contrarian.

Unfortunately I'm not very good at being right about that stuff.

Shuffling paper in a room full of arrogant dullards whilst making no difference to the world or being of any use to anyone, anywhere.

Yeah, what's not to like. Sounds like you'd like you'd meet some really great people as well who would feck you over at a second's notice in order to make another tenner whilst children around the world starve and die.

Seriously? Dream job?


I'd rather be RAF Regiment.

A career in the forces has got to be the best foot forward for anyone these days. Whether commissioned or not, you are going to get paid for learning a trade. Bit of travel thrown in too. Perhaps if you are a grunt in the army you may find yourself fighting face to face with some idiots, but that's what you signed up for.

seanoconn

Professional sportsman, not too fussed which but one that has a bit of longevity. Retire as the G.O.A.T. Some punditry, do a bit of charity work and become an ambassador for something.

rick_chasey

Mr Goo wrote:

A career in the forces has got to be the best foot forward for anyone these days. Whether commissioned or not, you are going to get paid for learning a trade. Bit of travel thrown in too. Perhaps if you are a grunt in the army you may find yourself fighting face to face with some idiots, but that's what you signed up for.

Not so good if you want to spend time with your other half/children.

Garry H

Rick Chasey wrote:

Mr Goo wrote:

A career in the forces has got to be the best foot forward for anyone these days. Whether commissioned or not, you are going to get paid for learning a trade. Bit of travel thrown in too. Perhaps if you are a grunt in the army you may find yourself fighting face to face with some idiots, but that's what you signed up for.

Not so good if you want to spend time with your other half/children.

Or when you retire at an early age and start getting under your partner's feet.

voodooman

I've had three main jobs since the 1989 and appear to be getting worse pay / conditions and holiday as I get older.

Started as a pro cricketer (quick bowler and lower middle order slogger - unfortunately prior to T20!), then worked offshore (mobile sediment specialist / 4D modelling / sands and gravels), then re-trained as a teacher.

Now a headteacher (of three small units), but my life tends to revolve around work and the impending sh!tstorm that is Ofsted. Still, I work with behavioural ASD / attachment disorder / abused kids so every day is different. When one of our kids manages to nail their college course and get employment it's fantastic. I do get bored of having to physically intervene (it keeps me young and a reason to hit the gym) and can't see myself doing this beyond 55 (only 7 yrs away) as it's just too wearing physically and emotionally.

shortfall

Mr Goo wrote:

Matthewfalle wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

Matthewfalle wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

Garry H wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

If I was good at it, I can't see why I wouldn't like being a hedgie.

A Hedgehog? Nah, you'd be shite.

Hedge fund Portfolio manager.

So, any job in the world and you want to do that?

Blimey - for once I am lost for words......

Personally I'd rather beat my bell end wafer thin with a steak tenderiser.

What's not to like? Be paid a fair bit to be right about stuff?

Even better if you can do it being contrarian.

Unfortunately I'm not very good at being right about that stuff.

Shuffling paper in a room full of arrogant dullards whilst making no difference to the world or being of any use to anyone, anywhere.

Yeah, what's not to like. Sounds like you'd like you'd meet some really great people as well who would feck you over at a second's notice in order to make another tenner whilst children around the world starve and die.

Seriously? Dream job?


I'd rather be RAF Regiment.

A career in the forces has got to be the best foot forward for anyone these days. Whether commissioned or not, you are going to get paid for learning a trade. Bit of travel thrown in too. Perhaps if you are a grunt in the army you may find yourself fighting face to face with some idiots, but that's what you signed up for.

Do we have any armed forces left? I thought we'd decided to spunk a big part of the defence budget on Trident whilst reducing our conventional forces to something resembling Dad's Army.

voodooman

Agh - dream job for me....

Long distance lorry driver. Listen to podcasts, solitude if you want it. No people constantly needing answers all the time (students or staff or parents) and knowing that each load delivered is a job complete. In education the job is never complete (lessons could be better, more paperwork, further analysis, detailed marking, policy updates, safeguarding updates etc etc).

Matthewfalle

voodooman wrote:

Agh - dream job for me....

Long distance lorry driver. Listen to podcasts, solitude if you want it. No people constantly needing answers all the time (students or staff or parents) and knowing that each load delivered is a job complete. In education the job is never complete (lessons could be better, more paperwork, further analysis, detailed marking, policy updates, safeguarding updates etc etc).

But doesn't being a lorry driver mean that you have to get fat, buy loads of porn in petrol stations and kill prostitutes?

Surely all that will affect bicycle riding time?

shortfall

voodooman wrote:

Agh - dream job for me....

Long distance lorry driver. Listen to podcasts, solitude if you want it. No people constantly needing answers all the time (students or staff or parents) and knowing that each load delivered is a job complete. In education the job is never complete (lessons could be better, more paperwork, further analysis, detailed marking, policy updates, safeguarding updates etc etc).

Not that I'm one to generalise but won't you have to become a really sh1t, inconsiderate driver who overtakes other wagons at 35mph on uphill sections of dual carriageway and then refuse to cut back in despite the 3 mile queue of cars in your mirrors?

Matthewfalle

Shortfall wrote:

voodooman wrote:

Agh - dream job for me....

Long distance lorry driver. Listen to podcasts, solitude if you want it. No people constantly needing answers all the time (students or staff or parents) and knowing that each load delivered is a job complete. In education the job is never complete (lessons could be better, more paperwork, further analysis, detailed marking, policy updates, safeguarding updates etc etc).

Not that I'm one to generalise but won't you have to become a really sh1t, inconsiderate driver who overtakes other wagons at 35mph on uphill sections of dual carriageway and then refuse to cut back in despite the 3 mile queue of cars in your mirrors?

And then masturbates in lay byes and kills prostitutes?

shortfall

Matthewfalle wrote:

Shortfall wrote:

voodooman wrote:

Agh - dream job for me....

Long distance lorry driver. Listen to podcasts, solitude if you want it. No people constantly needing answers all the time (students or staff or parents) and knowing that each load delivered is a job complete. In education the job is never complete (lessons could be better, more paperwork, further analysis, detailed marking, policy updates, safeguarding updates etc etc).

Not that I'm one to generalise but won't you have to become a really sh1t, inconsiderate driver who overtakes other wagons at 35mph on uphill sections of dual carriageway and then refuse to cut back in despite the 3 mile queue of cars in your mirrors?

And then masturbates in lay byes and kills prostitutes?

Yeah, invariably with a hammer.

Matthewfalle

Blimey.

Never known anyone to mastirbate with/over a hammer before.

Still, each to their own.......

shortfall

Matthewfalle wrote:

Blimey.

Never known anyone to mastirbate with/over a hammer before.

Still, each to their own.......

It's the bomb.

Matthewfalle

Shurely da bomb?

Garry H

What about a Gondolier?

kingstongraham

Garry H wrote:

What about a Gondolier?

All the cornettos you can eat.

Matthewfalle

Garry H wrote:

What about a Gondolier?

What - masturbating using a gondolier?

How you going to get it off the ceiling? Or are you going to stand on top of a really tall ladder and hope that the precariousness of the situation adds to excitement?

You lot are well weird.