Cheating in Sport - The Transparency Thread

bobmcstuff

I was always taught in hockey that if you didn't get a green card you weren't trying hard enough.

I think I only ever got one or two in my hockey career which was probably 8 years long, so maybe I wasn't trying hard enough... Both for overenthusiastic tackling (wahey).

I don't think I've got any sports cheating stories though

pinno

bobmcstuff wrote:

I don't think I've got any sports cheating stories though

Not even use of Viagra?

joelsim

I once used a mythical Hungarian supermotor to cycle to the shops.

fat daddy

I have never been good enough at a sport to even consider cheating ..... surely cheating is only necessary if you have something to gain ... ie winning.

There is no sport that I have partaken in that descrete cheating would have seen me win .... maybe come 19th instead of 20th ... but really 19th is still arse, so whats the point

Oh, I suppose sometimes I cheat on zwift .... my weight is 75kg on zwift ... currently I weigh 74.2 .... but sunday mornings I quite often weigh 77kg .... but I never change my weight off of 75kg .... so I guess some sundays I cheat on zwift ... but thendays like today I uncheat ?

pinno

Joelsim wrote:

I once used a mythical Hungarian supermotor to cycle to the shops.

Where the shops imaginary? Did you have a support crew?

RichN95.

I wear contact lenses. They're a performance enhancer like no other.

bobmcstuff

Oh I have cheated at cards before. Beat your Neighbour.

I have also surreptitiously checked Scrabble words were legit before playing them.

hanshotfirst

Used to make up the rules to Warhammer as I went along. My cousin was none the wiser.

joelsim

Pinno wrote:

Joelsim wrote:

I once used a mythical Hungarian supermotor to cycle to the shops.

Where the shops imaginary? Did you have a support crew?

Just me on my LeMond bike.

Tashman

On a university football tour to Amsterdam our "refreshments" during the game consisted of a crate of beer in the back of my net. I'm not entirely sure it's PED or indeed cheating but we won none-the-less to chalk up our first international victory

spam02

I remember playing football for the school and being stuck out on the wing instead of my normal midfield position.
Towards the end of the second half I chased a massive hoof down the field from one of our midfielders all the way to the bye line where I 'just' managed to keep it in before crossing back for our forward to make the score 2-1.
Reality was, it had gone at least 2 feet over the bye line. The referee was miles behind play, there was no linesman and for some reason I still don't understand, the keeper said nothing, despite the fact he must have seen I was well off the pitch before crossing the ball back in.

We ended up winning 3-1 (which made me feel better about second 'goal'). The win put us into the Cup semi-finals where we lost 4-1 and I missed an open goal when we were only 1-0 down :oops: - Karma

I've also stopped/cleared the ball from our own goal line with my hand on more than one occasion (it was my chest/thigh ref!) - but that's standard isn't it.

salsiccia1

SPaM02 wrote:

but that's standard isn't it.

Ah, the 'level playing field' excuse...

RichN95.

SPaM02 wrote:

I remember playing football for the school and being stuck out on the wing instead of my normal midfield position.
Towards the end of the second half I chased a massive hoof down the field from one of our midfielders all the way to the bye line where I 'just' managed to keep it in before crossing back for our forward to make the score 2-1.
Reality was, it had gone at least 2 feet over the bye line. The referee was miles behind play, there was no linesman and for some reason I still don't understand, the keeper said nothing, despite the fact he must have seen I was well off the pitch before crossing the ball back in.

We ended up winning 3-1 (which made me feel better about second 'goal'). The win put us into the Cup semi-finals where we lost 4-1 and I missed an open goal when we were only 1-0 down :oops: - Karma

I've also stopped/cleared the ball from our own goal line with my hand on more than one occasion (it was my chest/thigh ref!) - but that's standard isn't it.

With referees/umpires. We're always told that it's wrong to dispute a decision that goes against us no matter how wrong - that's fine. But don't then expect us to then own up when a wrong decision goes in our favour.

(The exception to this me correcting the umpire when I've made a save and the umpire hasn't given the corner - I want everyone to know it was a save)

Matthewfalle

Tashman wrote:

On a university football tour to Amsterdam our "refreshments" during the game consisted of a crate of beer in the back of my net. I'm not entirely sure it's PED or indeed cheating but we won none-the-less to chalk up our first international victory

I used to play lacrosse for my university and we generally had a tab on underneath our helmets at random parts of the game.

Multiple league winners in both lacrosse and smoking tabs.

andyp

Our school football team played a match against a local deaf grammar school. We were told before hand that if the ref blew the whistle we all had to stop so that the opposition knew too. We were 1-0 down with about ten minutes left to go when we got a corner. Our captain quickly ran round everyone in the box, told them to stop as the ball came in, which was executed to perfection. The opposition stopped and looked at the ref, one of our players buried the ball into the corner.

We got an absolute bollocking on the way back to school by the PE teacher, then again by the headmaster when we arrived.

orraloon

RichN95 wrote:

(The exception to this me correcting the umpire when I've made a save and the umpire hasn't given the corner - I want everyone to know it was a save)

Too right. Goalkeeper creed innit, credit where due, unless one is one of them fancy dan professional soccerballists. Sez former goalkeeper sidelined by knee knackeration.

salsiccia1

andyp wrote:

Our school football team played a match against a local deaf grammar school. We were told before hand that if the ref blew the whistle we all had to stop so that the opposition knew too. We were 1-0 down with about ten minutes left to go when we got a corner. Our captain quickly ran round everyone in the box, told them to stop as the ball came in, which was executed to perfection. The opposition stopped and looked at the ref, one of our players buried the ball into the corner.

We got an absolute bollocking on the way back to school by the PE teacher, then again by the headmaster when we arrived.

That is horrendous and brilliant all at the same time

Richmond Racer 2

andyp wrote:

Our school football team played a match against a local deaf grammar school. We were told before hand that if the ref blew the whistle we all had to stop so that the opposition knew too. We were 1-0 down with about ten minutes left to go when we got a corner. Our captain quickly ran round everyone in the box, told them to stop as the ball came in, which was executed to perfection. The opposition stopped and looked at the ref, one of our players buried the ball into the corner.

We got an absolute bollocking on the way back to school by the PE teacher, then again by the headmaster when we arrived.

Straight to Hell. Do not pass Go, do not collect £200

Tashman

orraloon wrote:

RichN95 wrote:

(The exception to this me correcting the umpire when I've made a save and the umpire hasn't given the corner - I want everyone to know it was a save)

Too right. Goalkeeper creed innit, credit where due, unless one is one of them fancy dan professional soccerballists. Sez former goalkeeper sidelined by knee knackeration.

Good to know that the GK union is multi-disciplinary and strong in cycling sez another knee knackeration sufferer

Tashman

andyp wrote:

Our school football team played a match against a local deaf grammar school. We were told before hand that if the ref blew the whistle we all had to stop so that the opposition knew too. We were 1-0 down with about ten minutes left to go when we got a corner. Our captain quickly ran round everyone in the box, told them to stop as the ball came in, which was executed to perfection. The opposition stopped and looked at the ref, one of our players buried the ball into the corner.

We got an absolute bollocking on the way back to school by the PE teacher, then again by the headmaster when we arrived.

I'm both horrified and full of admiration all at the same time :evil:

my_grandadʹs_bike

Pinno wrote:

RichN95 wrote:

Pinno wrote:

Perfect...shirt.

Two points here from the forum expert.

1. Why are you hitting the ball? You have pads and kickers for a reason. Use them.

You are assuming:
A) That I knew what I was doing.
That I had any experience/coaching.
C) That I understood the rules.

Besides, it was begging to be hit and I was seriously bored (and cold).

This is not high level stuff - a state school in the back of beyond in a town with a high level of unemployment. It was mainly about participation and little else. If you knew the right end of the Hockey stick from the other, you could be on the team.

We often had to play indoor mixed hockey in the sixth form at our school and I had constant verbal battles with the female PE teachers about being disadvantaged because there were no "left handed sticks".

I was however told I could have been quite a handy player if only I'd "shut up and get on with playing" - Still think its wrong the sticks are all the same.

bompington

my grandad's bike wrote:

I had constant verbal battles with the female PE teachers about being disadvantaged because there were no "left handed sticks".

I was however told I could have been quite a handy player if only I'd "shut up and get on with playing" - Still think its wrong the sticks are all the same.

Actually, the top (i.e. left) hand is more important for controlling the stick, so left handers are advantaged at hockey.

Not that it mattered much to me as a goalkeeper, I normally used to hold the stick on my left so that aerial shots on the left were stopped with the stick, on the right with my hand.

As for the GK union and the strange things that go on in a keeper's head - I used to hate games where we were winning and I got bored, but loved constant desperate defence.

RichN95.

my grandad's bike wrote:

We often had to play indoor mixed hockey in the sixth form at our school and I had constant verbal battles with the female PE teachers about being disadvantaged because there were no "left handed sticks".

I was however told I could have been quite a handy player if only I'd "shut up and get on with playing" - Still think its wrong the sticks are all the same.

They were right. There are plenty of world class left handed players. In another sport Rafa Nadal plays tennis left handed because he was made to from an early age. He's actually right handed.

bompington wrote:

Not that it mattered much to me as a goalkeeper, I normally used to hold the stick on my left so that aerial shots on the left were stopped with the stick, on the right with my hand.

That's really weird. So weird that you can't do that with modern gloves

bompington

RichN95 wrote:

bompington wrote:

Not that it mattered much to me as a goalkeeper, I normally used to hold the stick on my left so that aerial shots on the left were stopped with the stick, on the right with my hand.

That's really weird. So weird that you can't do that with modern gloves

we're talking 1980ish here. I actually used to wear Dachsteins (old-fashioned woolly climbing gloves) as keeping warm in nasty weather on exposed pitches was more important to me than protection.

Tashman

bompington wrote:

As for the GK union and the strange things that go on in a keeper's head - I used to hate games where we were winning and I got bored, but loved constant desperate defence.

This totally, especially when you come out on top and the oppo striker refuses to shake your hand at the end. Telling him to shoot everytime he got the ball because you're confident in stopping it probably doesn't endear you to him much thinking about it though

my_grandadʹs_bike

bompington wrote:

my grandad's bike wrote:

I had constant verbal battles with the female PE teachers about being disadvantaged because there were no "left handed sticks".

I was however told I could have been quite a handy player if only I'd "shut up and get on with playing" - Still think its wrong the sticks are all the same.

Actually, the top (i.e. left) hand is more important for controlling the stick, so left handers are advantaged at hockey.

Not that it mattered much to me as a goalkeeper, I normally used to hold the stick on my left so that aerial shots on the left were stopped with the stick, on the right with my hand.

As for the GK union and the strange things that go on in a keeper's head - I used to hate games where we were winning and I got bored, but loved constant desperate defence.

And here's me thinking I was just naturally gifted

bompington

my grandad's bike wrote:

And here's me thinking I was just naturally gifted

If you're left-handed, you are

my_grandadʹs_bike

bompington wrote:

my grandad's bike wrote:

And here's me thinking I was just naturally gifted

If you're left-handed, you are

Doesn't blinking help me on the bike though

pinno

RichN95 wrote:

my grandad's bike wrote:

We often had to play indoor mixed hockey in the sixth form...same.

They were right. There are plenty of world class left handed players. In another sport Rafa Nadal plays tennis left handed because he was made to from an early age. He's actually right handed.

Mixed Hockey is lethal.

I get my TT players to play with their opposite hand. This encourages balance, symmetry in muscle development and hand-eye coordination.
It's amazing how slow the game seems after playing 15-20 minutes with the 'wrong hand' and swapping over.

ddraver

...TT?

(sorry)