Relaxation?

team47b

yeah, yeah, I know but this is a serious question

After a busy day how do you wind down and relax?

the methods I see others using are not for me,
I don't have a TV
I don't drink
I can't eat pizza
Chocolates, no
I listen to music, but don't find this relaxing (not just because I am on the rollers!)
Books stimulate the mind, not relax it (perhaps I should read carp books)

What else is there/what do you find relaxing/what do you do in the evenings?
(Activities lasting less than five minutes don't count )

mikpem

I lie on the floor in my lounge getting smacked in the head by one of a large selection of toys, crawled all over and poked in the eye.

I used to play FIFA but this seems to do a better job of calming me down after a bad day at the moment

veronese68

Move somewhere warm and enjoy the sunshine?

Flâneur

Move to Italy.

For me I find the best way to switch off is to take the dogs for a walk on the hill or beach, open space, lack of people.

I also read books like Terry Pratchett to switch off, engaging enough but require little thought.

Question is are you looking for a break for a short period or just wanting to switch off for the night before bed?

southdownswolf

I always find that exercise is the best way to relax, especially after a hard or bad day at work.
Going for a run or cycle really helps to chill the mind.

Other ways for me are reading, doesn't have to be "carp" but at the same time it doesn't have to be nuclear fission.
Taking the dog for a walk along the seafront or over the hills.
Listening to music. Although I tend to like rock or alternative music, I can quite often listen to something "softer" if I just want to relax.
Playing a game with the kids, either a board game or on the XBox etc.

slowmart

How busy is your day and do you find yourself re-thinking the days events and do those thoughts raise concerns?


You could have Eva Green as company but unless you reconcile your days activities then your not addressing the cause and redressing the issue as a desired outcome but you cant't concentrate on the beauty in the room or your life if you're churning on concerns. maybe its a off button you need?


If the above is wide of the mark then I find tinkering with my bike or good company being good for the soul as is a relaxed bike ride. By that i mean just pedalling and drinking in the views, smells and sound around you.

I've always found music to be relaxing and a decent system will make your usual choice sound much more detailed and softer. I'm recently getting into my cooking, I love my meat and have a vegetarian wife and challenging teen with daily changing tastes but i enjoy the process and in turn feeding my loved ones. OK Ive had the occasional disaster but its made with love and the ability is building is my comment to that.

southdownswolf

Slowmart wrote:

I'm recently getting into my cooking, I love my meat and have a vegetarian wife and challenging teen with daily changing tastes but i enjoy the process and in turn feeding my loved ones.

I do most of the cooking in our house as my wife is a community children's nurse working odd hours. As we have foreign students staying with us quite often, cooking a meal normally involves meals for 6/7 people so there is always a variety of tastes. However, when we had our first (and only so far) vegetarian stay with us a couple of years ago it caused me to rethink a few meals. I actually found it quite refreshing to be using vegetables that I may not normally use and now incorporate them into other dishes that may or may not have meat in.

veronese68

I once read an article in the back of a Sunday supplement about the bloke with the pineapple hair cut from Soul II Soul. He lived in a town house with 1 room downstairs by the front door and most of the living area on the first floor. The room by the door was for unwinding, people were not allowed upstairs into the rest of the house until they had unwound from the trials and tribulations of their day. Sometimes there was no need to go into the room, after a bad day you could spend a long time in there. I love the idea of that, but would need a bigger house.

team47b

Can't have dog, don't really fancy taking someone else's dog for a walk. When I asked Marmite what he thought of the idea he creased up...



Left the kids, somewhere, in another country, years ago, so can't play with them

Mr V, I live in an open plan house, I can see all areas, I suppose I could stand outside. Move somewhere warm and sunny sounds relaxing, have a feeling this might not work.

Slowmart wrote:

How busy is your day and do you find yourself re-thinking the days events and do those thoughts raise concerns?

You could have Eva Green as company but unless you reconcile your days activities then your not addressing the cause and redressing the issue as a desired outcome but you cant't concentrate on the beauty in the room or your life if you're churning on concerns. maybe its a off button you need?

Slowmart, I think you're onto something! Yes, I need the off button from anything that has gone on during the day to switch off thoughts. Any ideas on how to find thIs?

southdownswolf

Therein lies your problem.... you have a cat, not a dog.

Stevo_666

team47b wrote:

After a busy day how do you wind down and relax?

You have busy days?

I suppose I should know how to wind down and relax as I am genuinely pretty busy day to day (not always work but usually). Some of these are pretty obvious, but:
- Cycling: a good road ride out in the countryside on a weekend works a treat. And this may sound odd but the commute to work counts as well even if London is some peoples idea of hell. Even more bizarrely downhill is mentally relaxing in the sense that you're focused on something pretty intensely and so cannot think about work etc :shock: And at the end of all of these, I am relaxed so it works.
- Coming on this forum and being immature :P
- A drink, though I try not to make it my main form of relaxation.
- Getting out of town and seeing friends.

chris_bass

team47b wrote:

I can't eat pizza

They can be tricky but I find if you cut them into slices it makes them more manageable.

team47b

Stevo, busy is a relative term

Not having to work and having a restricted diet, seems to rule out most of the usual activities, a cycle ride sounds like a good way to relax, perhaps I should take this up as my new hobby to replace my old hobby of being sarcastic on various fora

Chris, calzone is your friend

Let it go...a phrase that is annoying and appropriate in equal amounts to me.

So how do you simply let it go, or do I have to keep asking?

slowmart

team47b wrote:

Can't have dog, don't really fancy taking someone else's dog for a walk. When I asked Marmite what he thought of the idea he creased up...



Left the kids, somewhere, in another country, years ago, so can't play with them

Mr V, I live in an open plan house, I can see all areas, I suppose I could stand outside. Move somewhere warm and sunny sounds relaxing, have a feeling this might not work.

Slowmart wrote:

How busy is your day and do you find yourself re-thinking the days events and do those thoughts raise concerns?

You could have Eva Green as company but unless you reconcile your days activities then your not addressing the cause and redressing the issue as a desired outcome but you cant't concentrate on the beauty in the room or your life if you're churning on concerns. maybe its a off button you need?

Slowmart, I think you're onto something! Yes, I need the off button from anything that has gone on during the day to switch off thoughts. Any ideas on how to find thIs?

How long have you got!

Understand your fears and concerns and identify what is the driver for these emotions? If you face into your fears and understand the dynamics and mentally construct fall back positions and alternate scenarios - then those fears dissipate as its not an unknown and you have plans in place to deal with most eventualities?

If your thoughts are more mundane without the fear aspect go and find a charity you can help by donating your time. Its a great reset button for perspective.

Michael Gambon took a part in a film and one of his lines really struck me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVYHjEeYGFA

arthur_scrimshaw

Are you alone? You don't mention anyone else (apart from Marmite)

team47b

Arthur Scrimshaw wrote:

Are you alone? You don't mention anyone else (apart from Marmite)

No, Marmite has a sister called Zen and a mother called BB

Seriously though i have Mrs T, think blonde Eva green

sungod

team47b wrote:

[snip]
Let it go...a phrase that is annoying and appropriate in equal amounts to me.

So how do you simply let it go, or do I have to keep asking?

i doubt there's any general answer, how about...

stop thinking and just be in the moment, it takes practice, so practice

contemplate the universe, imagine your awareness extending into the future, imagine so far that you find out if protons really do decay and then what happens when there's nothing left, some physics background helps with this one

observe the cats and learn from them, you can draw/paint them while you are doing this

team47b

Slowmart wrote:

team47b wrote:

Can't have dog, don't really fancy taking someone else's dog for a walk. When I asked Marmite what he thought of the idea he creased up...



Left the kids, somewhere, in another country, years ago, so can't play with them

Mr V, I live in an open plan house, I can see all areas, I suppose I could stand outside. Move somewhere warm and sunny sounds relaxing, have a feeling this might not work.

Slowmart wrote:

How busy is your day and do you find yourself re-thinking the days events and do those thoughts raise concerns?

You could have Eva Green as company but unless you reconcile your days activities then your not addressing the cause and redressing the issue as a desired outcome but you cant't concentrate on the beauty in the room or your life if you're churning on concerns. maybe its a off button you need?

Slowmart, I think you're onto something! Yes, I need the off button from anything that has gone on during the day to switch off thoughts. Any ideas on how to find thIs?

How long have you got!

Understand your fears and concerns and identify what is the driver for these emotions? If you face into your fears and understand the dynamics and mentally construct fall back positions and alternate scenarios - then those fears dissipate as its not an unknown and you have plans in place to deal with most eventualities?

If your thoughts are more mundane without the fear aspect go and find a charity you can help by donating your time. Its a great reset button for perspective.

Michael Gambon took a part in a film and one of his lines really struck me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DVYHjEeYGFA

Nail and head in your first paragraph, thanks. I can see the fall back positions are a good resting place for the mind, allowing me to let it go and come back to it another time when/if I want to, which is better than letting it constantly nag.

On the film quote, I was told the old saying that life was a sh1t sandwich and the more bread you had the less sh1t you had to contend with

veronese68

team47b wrote:

Let it go...a phrase that is annoying and appropriate in equal amounts to me.

So how do you simply let it go, or do I have to keep asking?

Easier said than done. I'm terrible for stewing over little things that really don't matter in the great scheme of things. Trying to get a bit of perspective helps.

lostboysaint

As soon as the clocks forward then it's anything to do with the beach for me. If there's no wind then a paddleboard session, if there's 5-15 knots then I may take a longboard (windsurfer) out or I may do a downwinder on the paddleboard, if it's 15 knots + then I'll be out on a short board of some description. If I can be bothered to drive to the boat then I may go wakeboarding.

Otherwise it's probably the mountain bike. It means that you can't ride and stew about the world, you have to concentrate on nothing but your riding, everything else gets zoned out.

If I'm not going out to do any of those then it's the Kindle and whatever book takes my fancy.

capt_slog

How about fishing? I used to do a lot of fly-fishing when I worked closer to a river than I do now, very relaxing and it's still a place I go to in my head when I'm feeling especially stressed.

I also kept bees around 25 years ago. Now, although they can be a complete nuisance to manage, there's also something very calming about them. You have to go and inspect them periodically, and during that time you have to completely focussed on what you're doing. Strangely, I found that no-one bothered me or came near while I was doing this, odd that.

katiebob

My cycling commute lets me get my head straight after a heavy day.

I also dance 1-3 times a week each between 2-3 hours of lessons and social. It gives me something else to concentrate on entirely. Although its not particularly relaxing...

Wheelspinner

I go for a walk with the OH. It's more of an amble most evenings, along the local coast track. We stop on a bench often and watch the surf, or the boats or whatever is moving about on land or sea or in sky. Not much chatter goes on, just peace and quiet. Phones are not allowed.

Do that most evenings, year round, unless it's chucking it down. Best part of pretty much every day.

Flâneur

Is this to switch off? Remove anxiety/stress/ other worries? I know for different reasons I have to do different things and even half of those aren't reliable

team47b

Sa0u6dghjj63zxcdggheretc Is anxiety simply a description of worrying beyond what others do or is it a different word for the same thing, if you worry about things that concern you is this anxiety or is worrying about things that don't really matter called anxiety?

This is not what is worrying me

Which things work for which bits for you?

Flâneur

To switch off from work and the like then sport does it for me, I just change the mental zone I am in and it works, no matter how intense it is or how much I have to concentrate I can come in buzzing but still feel relaxed. Probably something to do with hormones and the distraction of pain.

Good company always helps, but you have a cat not dogs ;0

The other bits, for me, are bit trickier and are dealt with by constantly moving so to speak and by doing this miles away from home.

graham.

Get a dog. They soon show you how to relax.

CHRISNOIR

I have occasional periods where just switching my head off is really, really difficult. It usually happens at night when distraction is thin on the ground. Last week I found myself checking work emails at half-two in the morning the contents of which led me to get (needlessly) really angry and this in turn then led to a full on panic-attack and I've not had one of those for years and years.

I've always used my phone as an alarm so instead I've bought myself an alarm clock so the mobile stays downstairs. No more tea / coffee after seven o' clock. I've started reading before sleep as well which is always quite relaxing.

However, getting a good night's sleep is easier said than done when your seven month old kid's in the house...

slowmart

CHRISNOIR wrote:

I have occasional periods where just switching my head off is really, really difficult. It usually happens at night when distraction is thin on the ground. Last week I found myself checking work emails at half-two in the morning the contents of which led me to get (needlessly) really angry and this in turn then led to a full on panic-attack and I've not had one of those for years and years.

I've always used my phone as an alarm so instead I've bought myself an alarm clock so the mobile stays downstairs. No more tea / coffee after seven o' clock. I've started reading before sleep as well which is always quite relaxing.

However, getting a good night's sleep is easier said than done when your seven month old kid's in the house...

You seem to be dealing with the symptoms rather than the cause? You do have the perfect reset button for what is actually important in life. Your child.

homers_double

But sometimes when you control the work that funds the lifestyle of you and the child maybe its harder toswitch off.

Thats my situation but I'm fairly relaxed about stiff so things don't tend to give me sleepless nights. Except when a bird (tweet tweet variety) trips the alarm in the warehouse.

mr_goo

In the summer I find the best way to unwind is take my fishing rod and bottle of beer down to the beach. A great way to relax and unwind in solitude. In the winter I am completely wound up irritable with the only release being getting out on the bike in the forest.