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Lion poo...

Mikey23Mikey23 Posts: 5,306
edited January 2015 in The cake stop
Been looking for summat to deter local moggies from defecating in my garden because their owners cant be bovvered to teach them to use a litter tray. On the asvice of my local garden centre i have purchased some pellets which are 'soaked in the real essence of lion dung'. So presumably they become fearful that their is a big and powerful distant cousin around so go off and do their business elsewhere.

And to be honest, i really dont care whether they work or not. This is a talking point for the rest of my life...

Posts

  • arran77arran77 Posts: 9,260
    The problem with this is that any passing lions will think that your garden is a giant litter tray.....you'll soon be wishing you left the little moggies to shat in the flower beds as their shite is much smaller than lion shite :wink:
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn
  • verylonglegsverylonglegs Posts: 3,505
    How do they know what lion dung smells like to begin with if they've never left Cornwall?
  • team47bteam47b Posts: 6,424
    How does Mikey know what lion poo smells like, they could have sold him slug pellets, still if you use them in a catapult it should deter cats :D
    my isetta is a 300cc bike
  • slowmartslowmart Posts: 4,041
    Cat deterrents
    Surround an area with a fence (chicken wire etc) that leans in the direction from which the cat will approach. The cat is unable to climb over such an angled fence.
    Flimsy plastic roll-up fencing placed on top of a fence etc to prevent cats climbing over it.
    Taut wire or string fitted 10-15 cm above the fence-top makes it difficult for cats to balance on the fence.
    Place half-full plastic bottles in borders. This is an old gamekeeper's trick - the light reflection is supposed to deter.
    Mailshot and other unwanted CDs can be threaded on twine with knots in between to keep them apart. String these across flower beds or hang from trees. The light reflections deter.
    Spiked tree collar to prevent climbing up a tree.
    Downward-opening cone or a biscuit tin fixed to the pole below the bird table to prevent cat climbing up it. Vaseline or other grease on a smooth pole will also help.
    Placing clippings from thorny or spiky plants under bird feeders and under bushes will prevent cats from using these areas to stalk birds.
    There is a new garden plant, Coleus canina, on the market. It is marketed under the names Pee-off and Scaredy-cat. This plant has a pungent odour that is said to repel cats and other mammals from the garden. It should be available from a number of garden suppliers.
    Scent deterrents will either serve to repel (eg. Citronella) or mark a territory (eg. Silent Roar). Alternatively, try orange or lemon peel, since cats are not keen on the smell of citrus.
    Bucket or water pistol full of water will help to chase a cat out of the garden. There is an automated option, the scarecrow, which is attached to a hosepipe, and will deliver a water jet when activated by a motion detector, but be aware that water freezing in the pipes can damage the gadget.
    The CATWatch deterrent is endorsed by the RSPB and reduces cat visits by up to 33%. Follow the link from this page.
    “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to cycle and he will realize fishing is stupid and boring”

    Desmond Tutu
  • ballysmateballysmate Posts: 14,804
    If I were a Cornish tomcat and came across lion shite in Mikey's garden, I would think to myself,'If it's good enough for Simba, it's good enough for me!' and take a massive dump.
  • team47bteam47b Posts: 6,424
    AK-47. The very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every furryfella in the garden, accept no substitutes. :D
    my isetta is a 300cc bike
  • ballysmateballysmate Posts: 14,804
    team47b wrote:
    AK-47. The very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every furryfella in the garden, accept no substitutes. :D

    Suicide bomb works every time... well once anyway.

    Allahu akbar!
  • The problem will not be the Lions that come into your garden and cr*p everywhere, it will be the Hyenas that follow the Lions around. They will be laughing their heads off all night keeping you awake.
  • MayniacMayniac Posts: 174
    Coffee grounds stopped the cats crapping on my garden.
    This is not 'Nam, Smokey. This is bowling. There are rules.
  • arran77arran77 Posts: 9,260
    Mayniac wrote:
    Coffee grounds stopped the cats crapping on my garden.

    Did it give them constipation then?
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn
  • ballysmateballysmate Posts: 14,804
    arran77 wrote:
    Mayniac wrote:
    Coffee grounds stopped the cats crapping on my garden.

    Did it give them constipation then?

    :lol:
  • veronese68veronese68 Posts: 23,487 Lives Here
    ballysmate wrote:
    Suicide bomb works every time... well once anyway.
    But how would you know?
  • ballysmateballysmate Posts: 14,804
    veronese68 wrote:
    ballysmate wrote:
    Suicide bomb works every time... well once anyway.
    But how would you know?

    :lol:
    It wouldn't matter either way. You would no longer be around to care - so problem solved. :D
  • ballysmateballysmate Posts: 14,804
    Mikey23 wrote:
    Been looking for summat to deter local moggies from defecating in my garden because their owners cant be bovvered to teach them to use a litter tray. On the asvice of my local garden centre i have purchased some pellets which are 'soaked in the real essence of lion dung'. So presumably they become fearful that their is a big and powerful distant cousin around so go off and do their business elsewhere.

    And to be honest, i really dont care whether they work or not. This is a talking point for the rest of my life...


    If you were a she cat would you not take one whiff and think,'Hello Big Boy, come and get it!'?
  • mr_goomr_goo Posts: 3,755
    I have two cats, one of which I know uses the neighbours' gardens for his convenience (good boy).
    A few years back I had put out the bin bags ready for collection the following morning, and as usual by late evening the Goo household had managed to acquire another load of rubbish. So I went out front to top up my bin bags. I was perplexed to find that there was another bin bag outside my house. On investigation it contained a solitary Quality Street tin. My curiosity got the better of me, so I opened the tin. To find it full of cat 5hit !!!! Nice.
    Always be yourself, unless you can be Aaron Rodgers....Then always be Aaron Rodgers.
  • team47bteam47b Posts: 6,424
    ballysmate wrote:
    team47b wrote:
    AK-47. The very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every furryfella in the garden, accept no substitutes. :D

    Suicide bomb works every time... well once anyway.

    Allahu akbar!

    My post was a quote from the film Jackie brown ( watch it if you haven't already, great film) :roll:

    I was offended by your remark, well I say offended, I mean offended on someone else's behalf, well I say on behalf of someone, what I mean on behalf of the cats, I mean how would you persuade the 'volunteer' cat to give up one of his lives, he already has all the censored he needs in this life?

    Not wishing to offend anyone who believes in the after life being solely the preserve of one species on the planet :D
    my isetta is a 300cc bike
  • ballysmate wrote:

    Allahu akbar!

    Admiral-ackbar.jpg

    ???
    Advocate of disc brakes.
  • Pesky JonesPesky Jones Posts: 2,986
    slowmart wrote:
    Cat deterrents
    Surround an area with a fence (chicken wire etc) that leans in the direction from which the cat will approach. The cat is unable to climb over such an angled fence.
    Flimsy plastic roll-up fencing placed on top of a fence etc to prevent cats climbing over it.
    Taut wire or string fitted 10-15 cm above the fence-top makes it difficult for cats to balance on the fence.
    Place half-full plastic bottles in borders. This is an old gamekeeper's trick - the light reflection is supposed to deter.
    Mailshot and other unwanted CDs can be threaded on twine with knots in between to keep them apart. String these across flower beds or hang from trees. The light reflections deter.
    Spiked tree collar to prevent climbing up a tree.
    Downward-opening cone or a biscuit tin fixed to the pole below the bird table to prevent cat climbing up it. Vaseline or other grease on a smooth pole will also help.
    Placing clippings from thorny or spiky plants under bird feeders and under bushes will prevent cats from using these areas to stalk birds.
    There is a new garden plant, Coleus canina, on the market. It is marketed under the names Pee-off and Scaredy-cat. This plant has a pungent odour that is said to repel cats and other mammals from the garden. It should be available from a number of garden suppliers.
    Scent deterrents will either serve to repel (eg. Citronella) or mark a territory (eg. Silent Roar). Alternatively, try orange or lemon peel, since cats are not keen on the smell of citrus.
    Bucket or water pistol full of water will help to chase a cat out of the garden. There is an automated option, the scarecrow, which is attached to a hosepipe, and will deliver a water jet when activated by a motion detector, but be aware that water freezing in the pipes can damage the gadget.
    The CATWatch deterrent is endorsed by the RSPB and reduces cat visits by up to 33%. Follow the link from this page.

    A garden that will make the crazy cat lady look sane.
    :D:lol::)cooldad :shock: :? :cry:
  • mamba80mamba80 Posts: 5,032
    in times past, a local farmer (my great uncle) used a gin trap to stop our cat going into his garden, we re-named him to Stumpy....the cat that is! my Uncle got called another word beginning with C.

    My gf who knows all things cat, says you need to hose/powerful water pistol them, the deterrents don't really work as the cats soon realize there is no danger and they get used to any smells, they might reduce their visits but that's about all.
  • ballysmateballysmate Posts: 14,804
    i think it fair to say that not many zoo keepers when collecting the raw product, grab the culprit by the scruff of its neck and rub its nose in it.
  • laurentianlaurentian Posts: 1,773
    slowmart wrote:
    Cat deterrents
    Surround an area with a fence (chicken wire etc) that leans in the direction from which the cat will approach. The cat is unable to climb over such an angled fence.
    Flimsy plastic roll-up fencing placed on top of a fence etc to prevent cats climbing over it.
    Taut wire or string fitted 10-15 cm above the fence-top makes it difficult for cats to balance on the fence.
    Place half-full plastic bottles in borders. This is an old gamekeeper's trick - the light reflection is supposed to deter.
    Mailshot and other unwanted CDs can be threaded on twine with knots in between to keep them apart. String these across flower beds or hang from trees. The light reflections deter.
    Spiked tree collar to prevent climbing up a tree.
    Downward-opening cone or a biscuit tin fixed to the pole below the bird table to prevent cat climbing up it. Vaseline or other grease on a smooth pole will also help.
    Placing clippings from thorny or spiky plants under bird feeders and under bushes will prevent cats from using these areas to stalk birds.
    There is a new garden plant, Coleus canina, on the market. It is marketed under the names Pee-off and Scaredy-cat. This plant has a pungent odour that is said to repel cats and other mammals from the garden. It should be available from a number of garden suppliers.
    Scent deterrents will either serve to repel (eg. Citronella) or mark a territory (eg. Silent Roar). Alternatively, try orange or lemon peel, since cats are not keen on the smell of citrus.
    Bucket or water pistol full of water will help to chase a cat out of the garden. There is an automated option, the scarecrow, which is attached to a hosepipe, and will deliver a water jet when activated by a motion detector, but be aware that water freezing in the pipes can damage the gadget.
    The CATWatch deterrent is endorsed by the RSPB and reduces cat visits by up to 33%. Follow the link from this page.

    Why should anyone have to go to such trouble and expense because someone else is unable or unwilling to control their livestock?
    Wilier Izoard XP
  • Water pistol worked for me. Only had to shoot the cat twice. Every time I opened the door and the cat saw me from then on it ran like crazy.
    Doesn't even come into the garden now :mrgreen:
  • fatsmokerfatsmoker Posts: 638
    We have a stoney driveway which disguises cat sh1te very well, so both I and the kids regularly tread in it. So now, every supermarket visit I buy a bottle of toilet bleach and liberally spread it all over the drive. No very eco, but it works. I tried running over the culprit once but missed, and my wife told me off.
  • pblakeneypblakeney Posts: 14,213
    fatsmoker wrote:
    I tried running over the culprit once but missed, and my wife told me off.
    For not steering accurately enough?
    The above may be fact, or fiction, I may be serious, I may be jesting.
    I am not sure. You have no chance.
    veronese68 wrote:
    PB is the most sensible person on here.
  • fatsmoker wrote:
    We have a stoney driveway which disguises cat sh1te very well, so both I and the kids regularly tread in it. So now, every supermarket visit I buy a bottle of toilet bleach and liberally spread it all over the drive. No very eco, but it works. I tried running over the culprit once but missed, and my wife told me off.

    Shoot them with an air gun - works very well on dogs so I expect same for cats. My dad shot a dog in our garden once when I was a kid and the dog limped every time it walked past our house after that and never went in the garden again.
  • ballysmateballysmate Posts: 14,804
    fatsmoker wrote:
    We have a stoney driveway which disguises cat sh1te very well, so both I and the kids regularly tread in it. So now, every supermarket visit I buy a bottle of toilet bleach and liberally spread it all over the drive. No very eco, but it works. I tried running over the culprit once but missed, and my wife told me off.

    Shoot them with an air gun - works very well on dogs so I expect same for cats. My dad shot a dog in our garden once when I was a kid and the dog limped every time it walked past our house after that and never went in the garden again.

    I give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you not to be serious. But just in case anyone is tempted

    http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/200 ... 045_en.pdf
    http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1971/48/section/1

    Owners do have a duty of care though

    http://www.cats.org.uk/uploads/document ... he_law.pdf
  • ballysmate wrote:
    fatsmoker wrote:
    We have a stoney driveway which disguises cat sh1te very well, so both I and the kids regularly tread in it. So now, every supermarket visit I buy a bottle of toilet bleach and liberally spread it all over the drive. No very eco, but it works. I tried running over the culprit once but missed, and my wife told me off.

    Shoot them with an air gun don't get caught doing it - works very well on dogs so I expect same for cats. My dad shot a dog in our garden once when I was a kid and the dog limped every time it walked past our house after that and never went in the garden again.

    I give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you not to be serious. But just in case anyone is tempted

    http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/200 ... 045_en.pdf
    http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1971/48/section/1

    Owners do have a duty of care though

    http://www.cats.org.uk/uploads/document ... he_law.pdf
  • pinnopinno Posts: 40,277
    Perfect solution:

    Go to the nearest dog/cat home and get the biggest, ugliest, gnarliest tom cat in the place.
    That will cut the cat sh!t down to 1 animal and you could even try to train him to use a litter tray.

    They say that people who don't like dogs are anti-social and people who don't like cats are intolerant.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • Mikey23Mikey23 Posts: 5,306
    Erm well ... I have to say that lion poo has not been a 'roaring' success so far...
  • PituophisPituophis Posts: 1,025
    ballysmate wrote:
    fatsmoker wrote:
    We have a stoney driveway which disguises cat sh1te very well, so both I and the kids regularly tread in it. So now, every supermarket visit I buy a bottle of toilet bleach and liberally spread it all over the drive. No very eco, but it works. I tried running over the culprit once but missed, and my wife told me off.

    Shoot them with an air gun - works very well on dogs so I expect same for cats. My dad shot a dog in our garden once when I was a kid and the dog limped every time it walked past our house after that and never went in the garden again.

    I give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you not to be serious. But just in case anyone is tempted

    http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/200 ... 045_en.pdf
    http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1971/48/section/1

    Owners do have a duty of care though

    http://www.cats.org.uk/uploads/document ... he_law.pdf

    I suspect he is joking, but rather hope he isn't.
    If I really had to choose, I'd rather step in cat sh*t than dog sh*t any day of the week. :evil:
    At least cat owners can pretend they don't know where there cats are "going". Dog owner know very well but just don't care.
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