Lion poo...

Mikey23

Been looking for summat to deter local moggies from defecating in my garden because their owners cant be bovvered to teach them to use a litter tray. On the asvice of my local garden centre i have purchased some pellets which are 'soaked in the real essence of lion dung'. So presumably they become fearful that their is a big and powerful distant cousin around so go off and do their business elsewhere.

And to be honest, i really dont care whether they work or not. This is a talking point for the rest of my life...

arran77

The problem with this is that any passing lions will think that your garden is a giant litter tray.....you'll soon be wishing you left the little moggies to shat in the flower beds as their shite is much smaller than lion shite

verylonglegs

How do they know what lion dung smells like to begin with if they've never left Cornwall?

team47b

How does Mikey know what lion poo smells like, they could have sold him slug pellets, still if you use them in a catapult it should deter cats

slowmart

Cat deterrents
Surround an area with a fence (chicken wire etc) that leans in the direction from which the cat will approach. The cat is unable to climb over such an angled fence.
Flimsy plastic roll-up fencing placed on top of a fence etc to prevent cats climbing over it.
Taut wire or string fitted 10-15 cm above the fence-top makes it difficult for cats to balance on the fence.
Place half-full plastic bottles in borders. This is an old gamekeeper's trick - the light reflection is supposed to deter.
Mailshot and other unwanted CDs can be threaded on twine with knots in between to keep them apart. String these across flower beds or hang from trees. The light reflections deter.
Spiked tree collar to prevent climbing up a tree.
Downward-opening cone or a biscuit tin fixed to the pole below the bird table to prevent cat climbing up it. Vaseline or other grease on a smooth pole will also help.
Placing clippings from thorny or spiky plants under bird feeders and under bushes will prevent cats from using these areas to stalk birds.
There is a new garden plant, Coleus canina, on the market. It is marketed under the names Pee-off and Scaredy-cat. This plant has a pungent odour that is said to repel cats and other mammals from the garden. It should be available from a number of garden suppliers.
Scent deterrents will either serve to repel (eg. Citronella) or mark a territory (eg. Silent Roar). Alternatively, try orange or lemon peel, since cats are not keen on the smell of citrus.
Bucket or water pistol full of water will help to chase a cat out of the garden. There is an automated option, the scarecrow, which is attached to a hosepipe, and will deliver a water jet when activated by a motion detector, but be aware that water freezing in the pipes can damage the gadget.
The CATWatch deterrent is endorsed by the RSPB and reduces cat visits by up to 33%. Follow the link from this page.

ballysmate

If I were a Cornish tomcat and came across lion shite in Mikey's garden, I would think to myself,'If it's good enough for Simba, it's good enough for me!' and take a massive dump.

team47b

AK-47. The very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every furryfella in the garden, accept no substitutes.

ballysmate

team47b wrote:

AK-47. The very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every furryfella in the garden, accept no substitutes.

Suicide bomb works every time... well once anyway.

Allahu akbar!

southdownswolf

The problem will not be the Lions that come into your garden and cr*p everywhere, it will be the Hyenas that follow the Lions around. They will be laughing their heads off all night keeping you awake.

Mayniac

Coffee grounds stopped the cats crapping on my garden.

arran77

Mayniac wrote:

Coffee grounds stopped the cats crapping on my garden.

Did it give them constipation then?

ballysmate

arran77 wrote:

Mayniac wrote:

Coffee grounds stopped the cats crapping on my garden.

Did it give them constipation then?

veronese68

Ballysmate wrote:

Suicide bomb works every time... well once anyway.

But how would you know?

ballysmate

Veronese68 wrote:

Ballysmate wrote:

Suicide bomb works every time... well once anyway.

But how would you know?

It wouldn't matter either way. You would no longer be around to care - so problem solved.

ballysmate

Mikey23 wrote:

Been looking for summat to deter local moggies from defecating in my garden because their owners cant be bovvered to teach them to use a litter tray. On the asvice of my local garden centre i have purchased some pellets which are 'soaked in the real essence of lion dung'. So presumably they become fearful that their is a big and powerful distant cousin around so go off and do their business elsewhere.

And to be honest, i really dont care whether they work or not. This is a talking point for the rest of my life...

If you were a she cat would you not take one whiff and think,'Hello Big Boy, come and get it!'?

mr_goo

I have two cats, one of which I know uses the neighbours' gardens for his convenience (good boy).
A few years back I had put out the bin bags ready for collection the following morning, and as usual by late evening the Goo household had managed to acquire another load of rubbish. So I went out front to top up my bin bags. I was perplexed to find that there was another bin bag outside my house. On investigation it contained a solitary Quality Street tin. My curiosity got the better of me, so I opened the tin. To find it full of cat 5hit !!!! Nice.

team47b

Ballysmate wrote:

team47b wrote:

AK-47. The very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every furryfella in the garden, accept no substitutes.

Suicide bomb works every time... well once anyway.

Allahu akbar!

My post was a quote from the film Jackie brown ( watch it if you haven't already, great film) :roll:

I was offended by your remark, well I say offended, I mean offended on someone else's behalf, well I say on behalf of someone, what I mean on behalf of the cats, I mean how would you persuade the 'volunteer' cat to give up one of his lives, he already has all the pussy he needs in this life?

Not wishing to offend anyone who believes in the after life being solely the preserve of one species on the planet

homers_double

Ballysmate wrote:

Allahu akbar!

???

pesky_jones

Slowmart wrote:

Cat deterrents
Surround an area with a fence (chicken wire etc) that leans in the direction from which the cat will approach. The cat is unable to climb over such an angled fence.
Flimsy plastic roll-up fencing placed on top of a fence etc to prevent cats climbing over it.
Taut wire or string fitted 10-15 cm above the fence-top makes it difficult for cats to balance on the fence.
Place half-full plastic bottles in borders. This is an old gamekeeper's trick - the light reflection is supposed to deter.
Mailshot and other unwanted CDs can be threaded on twine with knots in between to keep them apart. String these across flower beds or hang from trees. The light reflections deter.
Spiked tree collar to prevent climbing up a tree.
Downward-opening cone or a biscuit tin fixed to the pole below the bird table to prevent cat climbing up it. Vaseline or other grease on a smooth pole will also help.
Placing clippings from thorny or spiky plants under bird feeders and under bushes will prevent cats from using these areas to stalk birds.
There is a new garden plant, Coleus canina, on the market. It is marketed under the names Pee-off and Scaredy-cat. This plant has a pungent odour that is said to repel cats and other mammals from the garden. It should be available from a number of garden suppliers.
Scent deterrents will either serve to repel (eg. Citronella) or mark a territory (eg. Silent Roar). Alternatively, try orange or lemon peel, since cats are not keen on the smell of citrus.
Bucket or water pistol full of water will help to chase a cat out of the garden. There is an automated option, the scarecrow, which is attached to a hosepipe, and will deliver a water jet when activated by a motion detector, but be aware that water freezing in the pipes can damage the gadget.
The CATWatch deterrent is endorsed by the RSPB and reduces cat visits by up to 33%. Follow the link from this page.

A garden that will make the crazy cat lady look sane.

mamba80

in times past, a local farmer (my great uncle) used a gin trap to stop our cat going into his garden, we re-named him to Stumpy....the cat that is! my Uncle got called another word beginning with C.

My gf who knows all things cat, says you need to hose/powerful water pistol them, the deterrents don't really work as the cats soon realize there is no danger and they get used to any smells, they might reduce their visits but that's about all.

ballysmate

i think it fair to say that not many zoo keepers when collecting the raw product, grab the culprit by the scruff of its neck and rub its nose in it.

laurentian

Slowmart wrote:

Cat deterrents
Surround an area with a fence (chicken wire etc) that leans in the direction from which the cat will approach. The cat is unable to climb over such an angled fence.
Flimsy plastic roll-up fencing placed on top of a fence etc to prevent cats climbing over it.
Taut wire or string fitted 10-15 cm above the fence-top makes it difficult for cats to balance on the fence.
Place half-full plastic bottles in borders. This is an old gamekeeper's trick - the light reflection is supposed to deter.
Mailshot and other unwanted CDs can be threaded on twine with knots in between to keep them apart. String these across flower beds or hang from trees. The light reflections deter.
Spiked tree collar to prevent climbing up a tree.
Downward-opening cone or a biscuit tin fixed to the pole below the bird table to prevent cat climbing up it. Vaseline or other grease on a smooth pole will also help.
Placing clippings from thorny or spiky plants under bird feeders and under bushes will prevent cats from using these areas to stalk birds.
There is a new garden plant, Coleus canina, on the market. It is marketed under the names Pee-off and Scaredy-cat. This plant has a pungent odour that is said to repel cats and other mammals from the garden. It should be available from a number of garden suppliers.
Scent deterrents will either serve to repel (eg. Citronella) or mark a territory (eg. Silent Roar). Alternatively, try orange or lemon peel, since cats are not keen on the smell of citrus.
Bucket or water pistol full of water will help to chase a cat out of the garden. There is an automated option, the scarecrow, which is attached to a hosepipe, and will deliver a water jet when activated by a motion detector, but be aware that water freezing in the pipes can damage the gadget.
The CATWatch deterrent is endorsed by the RSPB and reduces cat visits by up to 33%. Follow the link from this page.

Why should anyone have to go to such trouble and expense because someone else is unable or unwilling to control their livestock?

badgermilk

Water pistol worked for me. Only had to shoot the cat twice. Every time I opened the door and the cat saw me from then on it ran like crazy.
Doesn't even come into the garden now

fatsmoker

We have a stoney driveway which disguises cat sh1te very well, so both I and the kids regularly tread in it. So now, every supermarket visit I buy a bottle of toilet bleach and liberally spread it all over the drive. No very eco, but it works. I tried running over the culprit once but missed, and my wife told me off.

pblakeney

fatsmoker wrote:

I tried running over the culprit once but missed, and my wife told me off.

For not steering accurately enough?

wishitwasallflat

fatsmoker wrote:

We have a stoney driveway which disguises cat sh1te very well, so both I and the kids regularly tread in it. So now, every supermarket visit I buy a bottle of toilet bleach and liberally spread it all over the drive. No very eco, but it works. I tried running over the culprit once but missed, and my wife told me off.

Shoot them with an air gun - works very well on dogs so I expect same for cats. My dad shot a dog in our garden once when I was a kid and the dog limped every time it walked past our house after that and never went in the garden again.

ballysmate

wishitwasallflat wrote:

fatsmoker wrote:

We have a stoney driveway which disguises cat sh1te very well, so both I and the kids regularly tread in it. So now, every supermarket visit I buy a bottle of toilet bleach and liberally spread it all over the drive. No very eco, but it works. I tried running over the culprit once but missed, and my wife told me off.

Shoot them with an air gun - works very well on dogs so I expect same for cats. My dad shot a dog in our garden once when I was a kid and the dog limped every time it walked past our house after that and never went in the garden again.

I give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you not to be serious. But just in case anyone is tempted

http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/200 ... 045_en.pdf
http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1971/48/section/1

Owners do have a duty of care though

http://www.cats.org.uk/uploads/document ... he_law.pdf

wishitwasallflat

Ballysmate wrote:

wishitwasallflat wrote:

fatsmoker wrote:

We have a stoney driveway which disguises cat sh1te very well, so both I and the kids regularly tread in it. So now, every supermarket visit I buy a bottle of toilet bleach and liberally spread it all over the drive. No very eco, but it works. I tried running over the culprit once but missed, and my wife told me off.

Shoot them with an air gun don't get caught doing it - works very well on dogs so I expect same for cats. My dad shot a dog in our garden once when I was a kid and the dog limped every time it walked past our house after that and never went in the garden again.

I give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you not to be serious. But just in case anyone is tempted

http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/200 ... 045_en.pdf
http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1971/48/section/1

Owners do have a duty of care though

http://www.cats.org.uk/uploads/document ... he_law.pdf

pinno

Perfect solution:

Go to the nearest dog/cat home and get the biggest, ugliest, gnarliest tom cat in the place.
That will cut the cat sh!t down to 1 animal and you could even try to train him to use a litter tray.

They say that people who don't like dogs are anti-social and people who don't like cats are intolerant.

Mikey23

Erm well ... I have to say that lion poo has not been a 'roaring' success so far...

Pituophis

Ballysmate wrote:

wishitwasallflat wrote:

fatsmoker wrote:

We have a stoney driveway which disguises cat sh1te very well, so both I and the kids regularly tread in it. So now, every supermarket visit I buy a bottle of toilet bleach and liberally spread it all over the drive. No very eco, but it works. I tried running over the culprit once but missed, and my wife told me off.

Shoot them with an air gun - works very well on dogs so I expect same for cats. My dad shot a dog in our garden once when I was a kid and the dog limped every time it walked past our house after that and never went in the garden again.

I give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you not to be serious. But just in case anyone is tempted

http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/200 ... 045_en.pdf
http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1971/48/section/1

Owners do have a duty of care though

http://www.cats.org.uk/uploads/document ... he_law.pdf

I suspect he is joking, but rather hope he isn't.
If I really had to choose, I'd rather step in cat sh*t than dog sh*t any day of the week. :evil:
At least cat owners can pretend they don't know where there cats are "going". Dog owner know very well but just don't care.