If I was in charge...

anonymousblackfg

If you are that much of a fcuktard, why blank out the number plate? what reason should you every be protected from the public.

Plenty of good ideas on here but...

People using cash machines very slowly or to ponderously do all their banking (even though you can't), baseball bat to the right knee while those behind get to use the machine while they writhe about in main next to it.

verylonglegs

Articles like this http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-30560208 would result in both the writers of the item and anyone who's work is referenced in it being chased out of town stark naked whilst a baying mob whip them repeatedly with knotted lengths of wet rope. 'Panic Saturday' as labelled by researchers?! No, not at all really, I was shopping in the city today and yes it was a bit busier than usual but less than I expected and nothing worthy of the phrase panic. If you find yourself studying the spending habits of the population in the run up to Christmas you should either get another more worthwhile job or hang yourself.

All vehicles need to be fitted with dashboard cams so we can witness the evidence of lorry drivers who deliberately pull out in front of you at junctions knowing you have no choice but to brake hard and slow down rather than crash into them, always whilst they give their stupid 'cheers mate' wave as if you let them out as a favour of your own accord. First offence should involve them holding their hands and fingers in the frame of the cab door whilst you slam that door on them, the second offence it should be their heads that is slammed in the door. Fat greasy w*nkers.

tyred&weary

verylonglegs wrote:

All vehicles need to be fitted with dashboard cams so we can witness the evidence of lorry drivers who deliberately pull out in front of you at junctions knowing you have no choice but to brake hard and slow down rather than crash into them, always whilst they give their stupid 'cheers mate' wave as if you let them out as a favour of your own accord. First offence should involve them holding their hands and fingers in the frame of the cab door whilst you slam that door on them, the second offence it should be their heads that is slammed in the door. Fat greasy w*nkers.

Bad day then?

vinnymarsden

There seems to be a common thread thro this discussion…and it is that cyclists are sooooooo much more savvy than anyone else…NEVER wrong in the way they cycle, always the drivers fault etc etc blah blah blah…take the driving licence off people over 70 at threat of gunpoint!! Come on…grow up!
I am an avid cyclist and like to think i CAN coexist with my fellow road users….I don't think, being serious…ANYONE goes out with the intention of being a bell end, but to listen to some of the posters here EVERY car driver is wrong…ONLY cyclists are right, it's that kind of thinking that creates the divide in the first place.
I have when cycling, 99% of the time on my own witnessed some truly stupid, inconsiderate cycling, usually by 2 or more people (hence I cycle alone) trying to out Strava each other or some stupid pointless, dangerous thing to have bragging rights over an equally obsessed mate or two. I have a bit of news for them Its NOT worth it!!
NOBODY cares that you are KOTM on a "sector" or whatever it is they call them, because truth…those KOTM things even exist on downhill bits, so how relevant are they really!!
Flying past the "too old" 70yr old on a long descent, taking insane risks, shouting at a motorist who breaches "YOUR" rules it all looks a bit silly when it's usually from men old enough to know LOT better.
We, as cyclists need a reality check we DO NOT own the road, far from it, we share it with some people who use different modes of transport, just because you are trying to keep fit etc does not make you better than them, but I have noticed it makes cyclists FAR more sanctimonious, far more judgemental, and ALWAYS right.
I cycle, AND I drive, and I always like to think I give my full attention to both in equal measure, and in the event i make a mistake I am not too big a person to put up my hand and accept the withering look, be it from a car driver or a cyclist.
So, in this time of goodwill, lets all take a step back from the cycling heaven we want to create, and realise it's not going to happen any time soon…road users SHARE the road, as I said, with a bit of co-operation we CAN coexist.

pottssteve

You don't ride in Hong Kong, do you?

john_kline

People who do their shopping in the petrol station mini mart, don't buy any petrol but hold up everybody else in the queue who just want want to fill up and go. Its a Petrol Station ffs. Keelhaul them.

crescent

VinnyMarsden wrote:

There seems to be a common thread thro this discussion…and it is that cyclists are sooooooo much more savvy than anyone else…NEVER wrong in the way they cycle, always the drivers fault etc etc blah blah blah…take the driving licence off people over 70 at threat of gunpoint!! Come on…grow up!
I am an avid cyclist and like to think i CAN coexist with my fellow road users….I don't think, being serious…ANYONE goes out with the intention of being a bell end, but to listen to some of the posters here EVERY car driver is wrong…ONLY cyclists are right, it's that kind of thinking that creates the divide in the first place.
I have when cycling, 99% of the time on my own witnessed some truly stupid, inconsiderate cycling, usually by 2 or more people (hence I cycle alone) trying to out Strava each other or some stupid pointless, dangerous thing to have bragging rights over an equally obsessed mate or two. I have a bit of news for them Its NOT worth it!!
NOBODY cares that you are KOTM on a "sector" or whatever it is they call them, because truth…those KOTM things even exist on downhill bits, so how relevant are they really!!
Flying past the "too old" 70yr old on a long descent, taking insane risks, shouting at a motorist who breaches "YOUR" rules it all looks a bit silly when it's usually from men old enough to know LOT better.
We, as cyclists need a reality check we DO NOT own the road, far from it, we share it with some people who use different modes of transport, just because you are trying to keep fit etc does not make you better than them, but I have noticed it makes cyclists FAR more sanctimonious, far more judgemental, and ALWAYS right.
I cycle, AND I drive, and I always like to think I give my full attention to both in equal measure, and in the event i make a mistake I am not too big a person to put up my hand and accept the withering look, be it from a car driver or a cyclist.
So, in this time of goodwill, lets all take a step back from the cycling heaven we want to create, and realise it's not going to happen any time soon…road users SHARE the road, as I said, with a bit of co-operation we CAN coexist.

I don't want to be in charge now, I want you to be in charge.

Phil Fouracre

I agree with Crescent

ai_1

VinnyMarsden wrote:

There seems to be a common thread thro this discussion…and it is that cyclists are sooooooo much more savvy than anyone else…NEVER wrong in the way they cycle, always the drivers fault etc etc blah blah blah…take the driving licence off people over 70 at threat of gunpoint!! Come on…grow up!
I am an avid cyclist and like to think i CAN coexist with my fellow road users….I don't think, being serious…ANYONE goes out with the intention of being a bell end, but to listen to some of the posters here EVERY car driver is wrong…ONLY cyclists are right, it's that kind of thinking that creates the divide in the first place.
I have when cycling, 99% of the time on my own witnessed some truly stupid, inconsiderate cycling, usually by 2 or more people (hence I cycle alone) trying to out Strava each other or some stupid pointless, dangerous thing to have bragging rights over an equally obsessed mate or two. I have a bit of news for them Its NOT worth it!!
NOBODY cares that you are KOTM on a "sector" or whatever it is they call them, because truth…those KOTM things even exist on downhill bits, so how relevant are they really!!
Flying past the "too old" 70yr old on a long descent, taking insane risks, shouting at a motorist who breaches "YOUR" rules it all looks a bit silly when it's usually from men old enough to know LOT better.
We, as cyclists need a reality check we DO NOT own the road, far from it, we share it with some people who use different modes of transport, just because you are trying to keep fit etc does not make you better than them, but I have noticed it makes cyclists FAR more sanctimonious, far more judgemental, and ALWAYS right.
I cycle, AND I drive, and I always like to think I give my full attention to both in equal measure, and in the event i make a mistake I am not too big a person to put up my hand and accept the withering look, be it from a car driver or a cyclist.
So, in this time of goodwill, lets all take a step back from the cycling heaven we want to create, and realise it's not going to happen any time soon…road users SHARE the road, as I said, with a bit of co-operation we CAN coexist.

Yep. I agree with pretty much all of that.
Of course it's not just cyclists who think they're superior. Nearly everyone does it. Find anyone who's proud of being part of any group and you've found someone who thinks this way.....i.e. all of us.
Many people hunt for excuses to justify these feelings and turn them into beliefs. For example, many motorists will claim they pay "road tax" and therefore have greater legitimacy and many cyclists will point at the health or environmental benefits as the basis of moral superiority.
Thankfully some of us are aware enough not to pretend this nonsense is justified and will try not to indulge our divisionist tendencies. Unfortunately I think that's the minority.
Cyclists and motorists aren't the worst offenders though. It's the same attitude you get between, races, religions, nationalities, sexes....all with much more serious consequences. As soon as you identify a them, and an us, you have a problem.

Soapbox over

homers_double

thegreatdivide wrote:

Anyone caught importing or driving white German brand cars would have said vehicle crushed and the driver made to ride a bike on the A9 – at night – with no lights.

But would they be wearing flouro clothing?

tangled_metal

Grammar and punctuation pendants - 2 years hard Labour, writing shop signs with the improper use of the apostrophe. Let them propagate one of the most complained about misuse of punctuation.

pottssteve

Tangled Metal wrote:

Grammar and punctuation pendants - 2 years hard Labour, writing shop signs with the improper use of the apostrophe. Let them propagate one of the most complained about misuse of punctuation.

You mean labour, not "Labour" (unless you would force them to join the political party).
Also, you missed a letter, "s" off the word, "misuse".

You're welcome!

CHRISNOIR

Death by mustard gas for anyone caught farting on public transport.

Now, I like farting. Yes, it's funny. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than something escaping from my chuff which sounds like the soundtrack to 'Brassed Off'. But not a stinky SBD on a crowded, hot tram. That's just not cricket.

secretsam

Anyone with one of those ironic, hipster beards.

Sentence: never being allowed to shave again and having nits introduced into the filthy thing.

RDW

Criminals: Anyone working on a till who coughs into their hands before picking up and scanning my purchases.
Sentence: 1 month of front line duty in an Ebola clinic in Sierra Leone to learn the importance of hygiene and infection control.

Criminals: Motorists who impatiently beep cyclists whenever they come within 50 feet of them.
Sentence: 14 days in a concrete cell with an amplified air horn blasting every 5 seconds, 24 hours a day.

kingstonian

Any car tyre fitting garage (Kwik-Fit etc) who find it incapable of stocking regular car tyre sizes. It really isn't difficult.

And why call your service "quick" when I have to wait 2 days for you to get said required tyre in stock? That's slow, not quick. Retards.