Cycling depresses me

neilo23

A couple of months ago I went through a painful breakup of a relationship and have the usual (there have been to many) moping around, drinking too much phase behind me and have started riding my bike again after giving myself a necessary kick up the backside.
I have no idea if I officially suffer from depression but seem to tick quite a few boxes when I read about the illness. Any information I've read has suggested sport as being a helpful aid to increasing happiness and getting back into a positive frame of mind. I find the opposite: if I'm out on my bike my problems keep churning around in my head. Sometimes it gets so bad that I just turn around and go home as I'm too distracted and miserable to carry on.
I leave home full of optimism with the feeling that I'm doing something positive but these feelings erode when I'm actually out on the road. It feels as if my problems are exacerbated with every stroke of the pedal. It's been like this for years and depresses me even more knowing that doing something positive has a negative effect on me.
Anyone else know what I'm talking about? I've never spoken to anyone who understands this. I did speak to a therapist once and she said she'd never come across this before.

napoleond

Go and see your doc mate.
Could well be depression which can be helped in a number of ways. Or it could be a strong reaction to a bad turn of events that will sort itself over time.
Either way you can get good help.

neilo23

NapoleonD wrote:

Go and see your doc mate.
Could well be depression which can be helped in a number of ways. Or it could be a strong reaction to a bad turn of events that will sort itself over time.
Either way you can get good help.

You're probably right. I've always been the embodiment of the tears of a clown type of person: a melancholy man who usually appears to be carefree. Just always been wary of seeing a doc as I don't want to be given tablets and told to get on with things. May well be the most sensible thing to do, however.

LinkD

^ +1

Alternatively....

1.Set some goals
2.Motivational videos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-jwWYX7Jlo
3.Put things into perspective https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hP4MHqPYir4
4.Good luck

slowbike

neilo23 wrote:

Any information I've read has suggested sport as being a helpful aid to increasing happiness and getting back into a positive frame of mind. I find the opposite: if I'm out on my bike my problems keep churning around in my head.

There is no way I'm depressed yet I often have the same problem as you whilst riding.

The problem is that riding is something you can do mostly without concious thought - so your mind is free to churn over whatever it wants.
To get away from this I either ride with others or push so hard that I don't have the energy to think - usually best up a quiet hill where I can take out my anger without going stupid speeds.

I race dinghies too - and that is a great distraction because you have to concentrate if you want to go fast - better if there is a good wind as that makes it harder work physically.

There is no harm in going to see your doctor - I doubt you're a frequent flyer otherwise you'd've already discussed it with them so you're not wasting their time - or yours. [edit having seen your tablets concern] Tablets to counter depression would concern me, but it is something you need to talk about with a medical professional - or two - if your doc prescribes you tablets you're not forced into taking them - you can talk to someone else first.

My non-medical advice is to get out with other people, not necessarily to talk about your issues, but just to get out and do "normal" stuff, it can put you in a much better frame of mind - if you want to ride your bike then see what local clubs are doing and get out with them...

stoveman

I know how you feel mate as have been through this myself many years ago,to the point that I had thought my time here was over if you know what I mean.I was worried about the whole doctor dishing out the pills and pull yourself together approach.But I ended up finding a local organisation to talk to and things have worked out fine.

Had a spell a while back where things were getting me down,the usual stuff,work home life etc,whilst looking around on the net I came across Outlook SW who are able to support and help people through dificult times.

I appreciate that you may not be in the South West but google them,they are able to give support via the net and may know of a similar organisation in your area should you need the contact.

Above all remember that life can and will get better,don't let people that have influenced your past have any influence on your future.Start each day as a fresh day and set a particular target for that day to acheive something new.
Might be something as simple as cycling to a landmark etc you've never been too.targets don't even have to be cycling related,they will help you focus and push yourself onto new paths.


Best of luck ,you CAN do it.

Phil.

apreading

When I am feeling down, I get spells like this on the bike, but find that if the ride is long enough, I work through them in the first hour and then without realising, it passes and I start to enjoy the ride - I dont know if this is because my mind starts to wander onto other things or this is how long it takes for the endorphins to start kicking in but on my semi-regular 28 mile loop, from half way it starts to get better, I get into it and it doesnt feel so hard to keep going any more. Then I feel better on arrival back at home too. Perhaps you are giving up too early and actually would benefit from a longer ride rather than a shorter one?

neilo23

Thanks for all of your quick and encouraging replies.
I am a bit of a loner. My work means that I'm always in contact with a lot of people so I cherish my time alone or with a girlfriend. I know I'll get over my broken heart (yet again) but there are other problems regarding the business which can't be ignored and are not so easily solved. I really should ride with other people but I'm always worried about not being as fast as them. A silly thing to worry about, I know.
As for talking about problems, I've always been sceptical as it doesn't solve any problems. However, most people seem to think otherwise :-)
Being self-employed I don't go to the doctor much as I have to pay for it (I'm not in the UK) but it may be the best spent couple of bob I ever spend.

Thanks gentlemen.

craker

I went through a phase of depression about a decade ago, similar symptoms to you (it's good to know someone else's head does what mine can from time to time!). It would come and go, I went to see the doctor who was pretty unhelpful TBH ('Do you want me to prescribe tablets?', 'Well, you're the doctor...') I think the doctor should have been firmer in this respect - take some anti-depressants, don't worry about any imaginary stigma. I think the clinical results endorse their use, why would you not use the treatment on offer?

arthur_scrimshaw

Nothing to add really to the above, just hope it gets better for you soon,

neilo23

craker wrote:

I went through a phase of depression about a decade ago, similar symptoms to you (it's good to know someone else's head does what mine can from time to time!). It would come and go, I went to see the doctor who was pretty unhelpful TBH ('Do you want me to prescribe tablets?', 'Well, you're the doctor...') I think the doctor should have been firmer in this respect - take some anti-depressants, don't worry about any imaginary stigma. I think the clinical results endorse their use, why would you not use the treatment on offer?

I'm not worried about stigma (nobody needs to know) but I would simply prefer to get to the root of the problems. However, depression can be due to chemical imbalances so I assume that tablets can help in this respect.

I do tend to make mountains out of molehills in my head. I've inherited that from my mother. I was recently worried about something completely different and although I kept telling myself that nothing had happened and if something bad was going to happen it would have happened by now but the negative thoughts just took over. My brain could be compared with that of a poor descender (which I've become as I've got older), unable to enjoy the downhill road for worrying about his handlebars snapping or hitting a pothole. Just thought you might understand a cycling analogy ;-)

neilo23

Arthur Scrimshaw wrote:

Nothing to add really to the above, just hope it gets better for you soon,

Maybe if I'd never left your location, where I grew up, all those years ago I would have been a less complicated and happier character :-)

slowbike

neilo23 wrote:

there are other problems regarding the business which can't be ignored and are not so easily solved.

Yup - but you still need the odd break from thinking about it

neilo23 wrote:

I really should ride with other people but I'm always worried about not being as fast as them. A silly thing to worry about, I know.

Well - why not go along and see what happens - if you're used to riding alone then the worst that'll happen is you drop off the back and have a ride by yourself - but it just depends who you go with - most clubs seem to run a "no drop" policy in at least one group - so join in the slowest ride and take it from there.

neilo23 wrote:

As for talking about problems, I've always been sceptical as it doesn't solve any problems. However, most people seem to think otherwise :-)

Depends who you're talking to and what about - I doubt you've got unique problems, so there will be someone who could give you good advice on how to deal with them directly - no doubt there are those who can give general advice too, but it's only one part of the problem - the other part is unwinding and not thinking about it for a short while.

neilo23 wrote:

Being self-employed I don't go to the doctor much as I have to pay for it (I'm not in the UK) but it may be the best spent couple of bob I ever spend.

TBH I try not to go to the doctor and I don't have to pay so you're not unique there!

neilo23 wrote:

Thanks gentlemen.

You're welcome - now ... what bike have you got ...

PompeyPaul

I have suffered similarly for similar reasons so i feel your pain,im out of it now thank goodness and have been for years!

My advice would be this:

1) Take whatever help you are offered (inc medical)
2) Therapy (talking theapy works) group of solo
3) Remember you are not completely passive in training your mind to be positive! just like doing training drills you can do positive thinking drills also, for spells of time try to enjoy the feeling of the Bike Underneath you the movement, the changing scenery, the wind on your face and the physical feelings that you get from it and focus on that.
4) Your mind is responding to your stuation in an outdated and non useful way which dates back to caveman days understand that.
5) Read "The Chimp Paradox"

Good luck

hugo15

Some random thoughts based on my experience.

1. Don't rule out the meds. I suffered with mental health issues for nearly 20 years before I finally "gave in" to the meds. I say "gave in" as it felt like defeat at the time but it was possible one of the greatest decisions I've ever made. Been on them for nearly a year now and had one of the best years of my life, much more settled at home and the best performance reviews at work I've ever had.

2. It might help for you to have a look into mindfulness. It's about trying to get you to focus on the present and not ruminate about the past or worry about the future. You do need to practice though. There is an app called Headspace that has a free course called Take 10 that might be worth a look at.

3. Agree with PompeyPaul that the Chimp Paradox is worth a read.

4. Talking therapy can be useful. I got referred by my GP to the local Mind service and the guy I saw was helpful in getting me to sort my thoughts out and understand the triggers. I'm a champion procrastinator, putting of making decisions, doing jobs at work because they might be difficult. I've been working really hard at this with a "just effing do it" motto.

5. Riding with others can help distract your mind and let you get the benefits from riding, especially if you have a mate who you feel comfortable talking to and letting know you need some help. I ride with a few others and used to worry about getting dropped (I'm the worst rider) but then I decided that if they were bothered about waiting they wouldn't keep dragging me out so now I enjoyed it and try not to get too worried when I get shelled out the back! I've also ditched my HRM and also showing my speed on my Garmin when I'm riding as I found I was beating my self up about the HR being too high and the speed not high enough.

Hope this is of some use to you.

Alex_Simmons/RST

hugo15 wrote:

5. Riding with others can help distract your mind and let you get the benefits from riding, especially if you have a mate who you feel comfortable talking to and letting know you need some help.

I was going to say same. Sometimes solo bike time can mean the mind goes to places you prefer it wouldn't, but in a small and reasonably social group, you talk about all sorts of crap and generally have a bit of a laugh. It might only be temporary relief, but it's sure better than the alternative of not riding.

paxington

I know real life problems don't go away by just putting one's head in the sand but everybody needs a break from their worries.
With that in mind why not just look at cycling as your "me time". A time to switch of from everything but the what your doing at that moment and just enjoy the ride. Now I know this is going to be easier said than done but with some perseverance it's eminently doable. Just say to yourself F**k it this ride is going to take X amount of time so for that amount of time I might as well just switch off and enjoy as I can't ride a bike AND do other things at the same time.
When you can do this you may well find that, far from it being running away from things, the rest you get mentally gives you extra resource to cope with the things that need to be coped with off the bike.
You might even find it gives your sub conscious a chance to get to work on what needs doing and that some useful ideas just come to you as if "out of the blue".
Good luck anyway mate. Give it a go !

OfficerDigby

Perhaps try a bit of MTB?

:-).

mxp27824

OfficerDigby wrote:

Perhaps try a bit of MTB?

:-).

Not a bad idea. You may have conditioned yourself to mull things over when cycling. Weirdly, I can't stop thinking about cycling while chopping vegetables.
Getting off-road will get you fully-concentrated on the task at hand. Oh, and see a professional about the depression. You would if you had a similarly serious physical illness.

keef66

I've been coming to terms with the fact that I suffer from depression for nearly 15 years. On occasion it's been so bad I've nearly stopped functioning, and then the drugs do seem to help relatively quickly. But more recently I've had some one to one talking therapy which has proved to be very useful in helping me avoid the mental downward spiral when things go wrong.

So do go to the docs, do consider medication, but also try to get a referral for some kind of counselling / CBT.

I'm the opposite with my cycling; life can appear bewildering, scary and out of control, but as soon as I get on the bike I feel very different. I get to choose where I go, how far, how hard I push and so on; it's so empowering to be spinning through the countryside under my own steam, in complete control, and nobody can get to me.

mrwibble

past is gone, can't do anything about it so why waste time thinking about it? Re: Cycling, listen to some banging tunes on the ipod when cycling or find a cycling buddy. Channel all that energy into a cycle related goal, time trialling, distance thing etc. Don't waste time about life's shite! Good luck x

Harrogate Velo50

Getting out on the bike gives you freedom and puts you in control. You can go as fast or slow, or as far as you want. Understand that when you go out on your own you can run things round in your head over and over again. I know as I suffer from depression, but sometimes being by yourself can be a good thing, just as being with a group can. A ride can seem a lot easier if you are in a group and it can take your mind of things, plus you may be surprised how many people suffer like we do and may well come across somebody who you can talk to in that group.

If you can get out on the bike do it, but don't set yourself targets, just enjoy riding. And agree chimp paradox is a very good read.

Also don't let people put you off medication. It's not the answer for everyone that fir sure, but it may help. I was dead against it, but after a long time if not taking meds, I am now on a small dose and it gas helped. Not a quick fix though and bit of trial and error and might not be the answer, but don't rule it out.

All the very best and believe in your self. You will get better

mm1

The new generation of anti depressants are not really something to worry about taking too much. Best description of their effect I've heard came from my sister (who happens to be a Dr., though not a GP or a psych) who said that they are "very good for turning down the background noise", which sounds like exactly what you need. If you need to take some time off the bike, this is the time of year to do it. Find something new that you haven't tried before like an evening class (learn a language, or cookery, or how to dance) or anything new really to try and have some fun. Hope you're feeling better soon.

madasahattersley

OP - riding with good people is the way to go. I always thought I was happiest in solitude, which is often true, but after a long period of time training solo full time then continuing training full time with people I wouldn't even call friends meant the bike got very unhealthy for me.

Eventually things will fall into place and you'll wonder why you ever suffered in the first place.

Good luck with it mate