Charity bike bash, please donate

pinno

A well known a down trodden and impoverished accountant who frequents this forum has tried desperately to sell his tired out old, worn Mountain Bike. It has done 34 miles (most of it downhill) and no one wants it.
He is quite happy to pay for half the postage.
The problem with this type of scaffolding is that it weighs a lot. I was always under the impression that light things go up hill quicker than heavy things when propelled by a person. Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that 'Mountain Bike' is a contradiction in terms.

I have offered to halve the postage with him and get it sent up to Scotland where I can put it on my tin can baling machine and thereby increasing my profits and doing him a favour. It has a social and environmental advantage in that we a ridding a forest track of a path wrecking monster bike and giving the pedantry folk peace of mind by not being threatened by death of a descending, wobbly, uncontrollable headcase on a fat tyre'd abomination of a bicycle.
As my organisation is voluntary, I was hoping that the good, soulful, generous roadies of Cake Stop will help me with the other half of the postage from London.

Stevo_666

I'm touched by your generosity Pinno.

Did you put this in Cake Stop to limit how badly it could backfire on you?

Flâneur

I would love to help, but such scaffolding must cost a fair bit to courier to such far fetched lands

ballysmate

We could organise a relay from Bromley to Stranraer. Each of us donning baggy shorts for our leg of the journey. We would, of course, need special dispensation to wear such apparel.

arran77

pinarello001 wrote:

The problem with this type of scaffolding is that it weighs a lot. I was always under the impression that light things go up hill quicker than heavy things when propelled by a person. Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that 'Mountain Bike' is a contradiction in terms.

Wrong

Downhill mountain bikes do weigh a lot so therefore they go quicker downhill propelled by a person and quicker up hill propelled by a van :P

pinarello001 wrote:

soulful, generous roadies

This would be the same soulful (pot smoking ) roadies from California who got bored so with their friends discovered the fun of riding old fat-tyred bikes down and then up Marin's Mount Tamalpais, their bikes broke, so they fixed and improved them, eventually they started building custom frames. That was the point at which the 'klunkers', the name given to the bikes they rode at the time became mountain bikes.

Therefore it's your fault mountain biking exists at all because road cycling was so boring :P

homers_double

Quality post /\

Stevo_666

arran77 wrote:

pinarello001 wrote:

The problem with this type of scaffolding is that it weighs a lot. I was always under the impression that light things go up hill quicker than heavy things when propelled by a person. Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that 'Mountain Bike' is a contradiction in terms.

Wrong

Downhill mountain bikes do weigh a lot so therefore they go quicker downhill propelled by a person and quicker up hill propelled by a van :P

pinarello001 wrote:

soulful, generous roadies

This would be the same soulful (pot smoking ) roadies from California who got bored so with their friends discovered the fun of riding old fat-tyred bikes down and then up Marin's Mount Tamalpais, their bikes broke, so they fixed and improved them, eventually they started building custom frames. That was the point at which the 'klunkers', the name given to the bikes they rode at the time became mountain bikes.

Therefore it's your fault mountain biking exists at all because road cycling was so boring :P

Do I hear the sound of backfiring?

Pinno, you need to change your username to 'Del Boy' as your threads seem to backfire on you more often than a certain yellow Robin Reliant

AlexMac1973

Nice one Pina, it's like poking a bear with a stick Or in this case old scaffolding

Stevo_666

AlexMac1973 wrote:

Nice one Pina, it's like poking a bear with a stick

Good point. I think Pinno has retired injured from this thread, in much the same way as someone who actually tries to poke a bear with a stick

AlexMac1973

Stevo 666 wrote:

AlexMac1973 wrote:

Nice one Pina, it's like poking a bear with a stick

Good point. I think Pinno has retired injured from this thread, in much the same way as someone who actually tries to poke a bear with a stick

I was siding with him on this one, if you didn't work it out previously - bear = cruddite. You all took the bait and bit.

Stevo_666

AlexMac1973 wrote:

Stevo 666 wrote:

AlexMac1973 wrote:

Nice one Pina, it's like poking a bear with a stick

Good point. I think Pinno has retired injured from this thread, in much the same way as someone who actually tries to poke a bear with a stick

I was siding with him on this one, if you didn't work it out previously - bear = cruddite. You all took the bait and bit.

Yeah I figured that, but Pinno's fishing trips often have a striking similarity to someone dangling their hand in the Amazon as Piranha bait :P

pinno

The 'Bear Baiters', hmm, nice one.

In retrospect, I should have put an 85kg breaking strain line on my reel.

finchy

Stevo 666 wrote:

arran77 wrote:

pinarello001 wrote:

The problem with this type of scaffolding is that it weighs a lot. I was always under the impression that light things go up hill quicker than heavy things when propelled by a person. Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that 'Mountain Bike' is a contradiction in terms.

Wrong

Downhill mountain bikes do weigh a lot so therefore they go quicker downhill propelled by a person and quicker up hill propelled by a van :P

pinarello001 wrote:

soulful, generous roadies

This would be the same soulful (pot smoking ) roadies from California who got bored so with their friends discovered the fun of riding old fat-tyred bikes down and then up Marin's Mount Tamalpais, their bikes broke, so they fixed and improved them, eventually they started building custom frames. That was the point at which the 'klunkers', the name given to the bikes they rode at the time became mountain bikes.

Therefore it's your fault mountain biking exists at all because road cycling was so boring :P

Do I hear the sound of backfiring?

Pinno, you need to change your username to 'Del Boy' as your threads seem to backfire on you more often than a certain yellow Robin Reliant

It's Reliant Robin, not Robin Reliant. And it'd probably still go uphill faster than a mountain biker.

arran77

johnfinch wrote:

Stevo 666 wrote:

arran77 wrote:

pinarello001 wrote:

The problem with this type of scaffolding is that it weighs a lot. I was always under the impression that light things go up hill quicker than heavy things when propelled by a person. Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that 'Mountain Bike' is a contradiction in terms.

Wrong

Downhill mountain bikes do weigh a lot so therefore they go quicker downhill propelled by a person and quicker up hill propelled by a van :P

pinarello001 wrote:

soulful, generous roadies

This would be the same soulful (pot smoking ) roadies from California who got bored so with their friends discovered the fun of riding old fat-tyred bikes down and then up Marin's Mount Tamalpais, their bikes broke, so they fixed and improved them, eventually they started building custom frames. That was the point at which the 'klunkers', the name given to the bikes they rode at the time became mountain bikes.

Therefore it's your fault mountain biking exists at all because road cycling was so boring :P

Do I hear the sound of backfiring?

Pinno, you need to change your username to 'Del Boy' as your threads seem to backfire on you more often than a certain yellow Robin Reliant

It's Reliant Robin, not Robin Reliant. And it'd probably still go uphill faster than a mountain biker.

Unlikely, we use vans on uplift days

Stevo_666

arran77 wrote:

Unlikely, we use vans on uplift days

Here's a pic of me kicking roadie butt uphill last time I was in Wales:



In that pic the roadie is so far behind you can't even see him And most of the access road is single track so when we do come a cross a roadie huffing & puffing up the hill, they have to move over onto the verge to let the van past. Nice opportunity to give the lycra clad misery guts a few choice hand signals :P

finchy

I thought the bit about going uphill in a van was self-deprecating humour.

Stevo_666

johnfinch wrote:

I thought the bit about going uphill in a van was self-deprecating humour.

Nope, it's all true. Mind you, it makes an uplift day quite a good social event as you get to have a good bit of banter on the way up 8)

If anyone tries to pedal an 18kg bike with marshmallow style suspension and low pressure tractor tyres to the top of a 800 foot climb in full body armour and 25c heat 10-12 times in a day, they'll soon see the sense in using a van to get to the top

finchy

I've pedalled a mountain bike to the top of an Austrian Alp before, you lazy mud-eating git. Mind you, I didn't have the body armour on, but then I don't have to hide my face away from the world.

veronese68

johnfinch wrote:

It's Reliant Robin, not Robin Reliant. And it'd probably still go uphill faster than a mountain biker.

But it was a Reliant Regal, not a Robin. Please try to get it right if you want to be a sad pedantic old fool. :P

Stevo_666

Veronese68 wrote:

johnfinch wrote:

It's Reliant Robin, not Robin Reliant. And it'd probably still go uphill faster than a mountain biker.

But it was a Reliant Regal, not a Robin. Please try to get it right if you want to be a sad pedantic old fool. :P

Just when I thought the backfiring had stopped

VTech

If this is genuine, ill cover the courier fee. I can arrange for it to be collected and delivered.

pinno

There you go Stevo. Lets raise some cash for a good charity and I will bail your unwanted excuse for a bike and Vtech will cover the postage.
I could force your hand here...

What do you reckon folks - which charitable cause shall we support?

Stevo_666

Generous soul that I am, you 'll have to settle for my daughters 'Diva 24'.

arran77

Stevo 666 wrote:

Generous soul that I am, you 'll have to settle for my daughters 'Diva 24'.

That would be more that suitable for his needs

diplodicus

Stevo 666 wrote:

Generous soul that I am, you 'll have to settle for my daughters 'Diva 24'.

Diva and 24 are strange names for your daughters, and you really shouldn't be trying to give them away on the internet :shock:

Stevo_666

diplodicus wrote:

Stevo 666 wrote:

Generous soul that I am, you 'll have to settle for my daughters 'Diva 24'.

Diva and 24 are strange names for your daughters, and you really shouldn't be trying to give them away on the internet :shock:

If it was my daughter I was trying to give away then I'd gladly pay the postage :twisted: Unfortunately it's her bike I'm talking about, which would make an ideal starter MTB for Stranraer's answer to Victor Meldrew

pinno

^^This is bollox. He was trying to sell one of his MTB's to offset the cost of the 'Panzer'. After many moons of trying, he failed 'cos no-one wanted the damn thing. So this bollox from Stevo is a U turn into a cul-de-sac of gigantic proportions as I now have the slimy contrary bean counter backed in a corner with Vtech's financial backing ( :shock: :shock: ).

Me thinks, we'll have a whip around for a charity, Vtech pays the postage and I will bail the thing. Ha ha.

I could think of a number of off and on road bicycle ventures to raise the cash.

As an accountant working in London, I don't think he really needs the proceeds from the no-sale of the bike, so we will help him out and he can help a good cause. good idea?

arran77

Stevo 666 wrote:

If it was my daughter I was trying to give away then I'd gladly pay the postage :twisted: Unfortunately it's her bike I'm talking about, which would make an ideal starter MTB for Stranraer's answer to Victor Meldrew

That's great, the saddle is even set up right for a spot of down hill racing

Stevo_666

arran77 wrote:

Stevo 666 wrote:

If it was my daughter I was trying to give away then I'd gladly pay the postage :twisted: Unfortunately it's her bike I'm talking about, which would make an ideal starter MTB for Stranraer's answer to Victor Meldrew

That's great, the saddle is even set up right for a spot of down hill racing

...and the brakes are ideal for stopping on steep, damp downhill courses :twisted:

Stevo_666

pinarello001 wrote:

^^This is bollox. He was trying to sell one of his MTB's to offset the cost of the 'Panzer'. After many moons of trying, he failed 'cos no-one wanted the damn thing. So this bollox from Stevo is a U turn into a cul-de-sac of gigantic proportions as I now have the slimy contrary bean counter backed in a corner with Vtech's financial backing ( :shock: :shock: ).

Me thinks, we'll have a whip around for a charity, Vtech pays the postage and I will bail the thing. Ha ha.

I could think of a number of off and on road bicycle ventures to raise the cash.

As an accountant working in London, I don't think he really needs the proceeds from the no-sale of the bike, so we will help him out and he can help a good cause. good idea?

You're right I don't need the dosh and The Bruiser is a handy back up downhill bike in case The Panzer is ever out of action. But you maybe haven't counted on the fact that I'm from what was originally part of Yorkshire so naturally I'm as tight as a gnats chuff :P .

So here's the deal: if anyone on here pays the market rate for The Bruiser I'll donate 20% of the proceeds to a charity that we can nominate by a poll on the forum. I'd normally let someone chip me up to 10% on a sale, so effectively whoever buys it and me will be each donating 10% of the bikes value to charity.

Market rate is set by the Stevo 666 Asset Valuation Co (Guernsey) Ltd as 1/3 of the list price when new (it's less than 3 years old). And I'll accept VTech's kind offer of paying for collection and delivery if anyone wants to take me up on it.

Want to put your money where your mouth is?

pinno

Stevo 666 wrote:

pinarello001 wrote:

^^This is bollox. He was trying to sell one of his MTB's to offset the cost of the 'Panzer'. After many moons of trying, he failed 'cos no-one wanted the damn thing. So this bollox from Stevo is a U turn into a cul-de-sac of gigantic proportions as I now have the slimy contrary bean counter backed in a corner with Vtech's financial backing ( :shock: :shock: ).

Me thinks, we'll have a whip around for a charity, Vtech pays the postage and I will bail the thing. Ha ha.

I could think of a number of off and on road bicycle ventures to raise the cash.

As an accountant working in London, I don't think he really needs the proceeds from the no-sale of the bike, so we will help him out and he can help a good cause. good idea?

You're right I don't need the dosh and The Bruiser is a handy back up downhill bike in case The Panzer is ever out of action. But you maybe haven't counted on the fact that I'm from what was originally part of Yorkshire so naturally I'm as tight as a gnats chuff :P .

So here's the deal: if anyone on here pays the market rate for The Bruiser I'll donate 20% of the proceeds to a charity that we can nominate by a poll on the forum. I'd normally let someone chip me up to 10% on a sale, so effectively whoever buys it and me will be each donating 10% of the bikes value to charity.

Market rate is set by the Stevo 666 Asset Valuation Co (Guernsey) Ltd as 1/3 of the list price when new (it's less than 3 years old). And I'll accept VTech's kind offer of paying postage if anyone wants to take me up on it.

Want to put your money where your mouth is?

Nope. That's not charity, that's exploitation. No one in their right mind would take you up on that offer. Even Vtech can see holes in that cheese grater of a proposition.

Nice try beano, time I got some momentum going.