Mother's Day recriminations

badgerbeaver
badgerbeaver Posts: 102
edited April 2014 in The cake stop
So yesterday was Mother's Day. This isn't an anti-Clinton cards rant or anything, but I wanted to gauge the opinion of my cycling brethren on the following.

My wife has produced two lovey children (6 & 5 years old) who in turn produced large volumes of cards and various arts and crafts stuff to celebrate mothers day. We planned a breakfast in bed as well.

When the children were to young for this, I have taken my wife out for dinner, and one year when #2 was about 2 years old, I gave her an eternity ring. This year I did not give her anything and she has got The Hump. Royally p155ed off with me. To be honest I was a bit shocked, and just apologised instinctively because she was upset, and felt she wouldn't feel any better if I was to explain that my primary reason for not giving her a present on Mother's Day was that She is Not My Mother.

Context / irony : at the time of said conflab she was wearing a top from Karen Millen which I bought for her as a surprise and out of the blue.

So. My question is this. On the strength of the sorry story above, does she have a point, or is she being unreasonable. Alternatively, am I being a total d1ck for even asking the question?
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Comments

  • ballysmate
    ballysmate Posts: 15,996
    No she doesn't have a point.
    Yes she is being unreasonable.

    Doesn't matter, you are never going to win or even understand her twisted logic. :cry:
  • finchy
    finchy Posts: 6,686
    edited March 2014
    She's being unreasonable.

    If I were you, I'd ask your wife if it's her time of the month. That's definitely the best way to handle this.
  • napoleond
    napoleond Posts: 5,992
    johnfinch wrote:
    Definitely unreasonable.

    If I were you, I'd ask her if it's her time of the month. That's definitely the best way to handle this.

    Lol :D
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  • pdstsp
    pdstsp Posts: 1,264
    Does she have a point - no
    Is she being unreasonable - yes
    Are you a dick for asking - yes because she's meant to be unreasonable.

    My wife's treat fro Mothers day was having my mad mother round for tea and having the same conversation with her every 20 seconds for 2 hours. She took it quite well.
  • verylonglegs
    verylonglegs Posts: 4,023
    She is being unreasonable but good luck with trying to get her to see it that way.

    Don't forget to have a proper tantrum when she fails to get you a Campagnolo Super Record groupset on Father's Day, nothing like the tit-for-tat approach to solve these issues.
  • me-109
    me-109 Posts: 1,915
    My wife's treat was me getting up early and going out on the bike for five hours. When I got back she'd left to see her Mam and Dad (his birthday) so I had a lovely hot bath in peace.

    Later, she cooked tea.

    What's wrong with Mother's Day? :)
  • thanks guys

    I feel bad. Wished I hadn't slapped her now.
  • mamba80
    mamba80 Posts: 5,032
    she is probably having a guilty affair and this was YOUR chance to show you are the better man, you failed and now will need a lawyer, that will cost many times more than a card and some flowers.
  • southdownswolf
    southdownswolf Posts: 1,525
    If you were to stop wearing nappies at that "special time of day" and didn't keep asking for "Bitty" then she wouldn't expect a present.
  • bianchimoon
    bianchimoon Posts: 3,942
    If your relationship happiness is based on what you do or don't buy her... oh dear!
    All lies and jest..still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest....
  • nathancom
    nathancom Posts: 1,567
    thanks guys

    I feel bad. Wished I hadn't slapped her now.
    Are you serious?
  • nathancom wrote:
    thanks guys

    I feel bad. Wished I hadn't slapped her now.
    Are you serious?

    NO!
  • nathancom
    nathancom Posts: 1,567
    nathancom wrote:
    thanks guys

    I feel bad. Wished I hadn't slapped her now.
    Are you serious?

    NO!
    Phew!
  • markhewitt1978
    markhewitt1978 Posts: 7,614
    Yes I don't get it either, but, you have to go with it I guess.

    Now to my mind, and I'm sure to others here, Mothers Day is all about the sons & daughters showing appreciation to their mother. Fathers can do this on their behalf when too young.

    But; I think from her point of view it's general appreciation of her role as the Mother, so everyone has to get her a card and present. I think that's how it works anyway, all I know is that I'm seemingly constantly at the card shop, and I hate cards!
  • rc856
    rc856 Posts: 1,144
    I was away on the lash with mates for the weekend and my missus was ok :)
    If I had been home, I'd have been out the house at 8am for the club run.
    Our wee one is nearly 6 and wife is still waiting for an eternity ring.

    So yes, yours is being unreasonable :)

    Lol @ time of month question :):)
  • slowmart
    slowmart Posts: 4,516
    So it seems there are a lot of single or divorced blokes on this thread. :roll:


    Forget the commerciality of the day as that's wrong, however you have set the benchmark by your behaviours in the past so if you didn't communicate your revised thinking prior to the day then that's a questionable aspect from you.

    Its a give and take, you want to ride all day and leave the little ones at home with your wife? Play the game then. :wink:
    “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to cycle and he will realize fishing is stupid and boring”

    Desmond Tutu
  • Slowmart wrote:

    Forget the commerciality of the day as that's wrong, however you have set the benchmark by your behaviours in the past so if you didn't communicate your revised thinking prior to the day then that's a questionable aspect from you.

    Its a give and take, you want to ride all day and leave the little ones at home with your wife? Play the game then. :wink:

    Fair play. I think expectation played a large part in this.
  • mpatts
    mpatts Posts: 1,010
    what I always hate about these hallmark events is that to get to normal level of happiness it needs to be somehow marked with a gift.

    That said, I fear you have made a rod for your own back - you needed to have either of discussed it, got her something, or invented a time machine and not made a fuss in previous years.

    Personally, I'd arrange for a baby sitter, take her out for a meal, and discuss the mix up.
    Insert bike here:
  • markhewitt1978
    markhewitt1978 Posts: 7,614
    mpatts wrote:
    what I always hate about these hallmark events is that to get to normal level of happiness it needs to be somehow marked with a gift.

    It does seem this time of year everything requires a gift and a card. Personally in the 4 months between Christmas and the end of April there are six family occasions which require me to buy my wife a gift and a card, it's difficult to be original.
  • slowmart
    slowmart Posts: 4,516
    Slowmart wrote:

    Forget the commerciality of the day as that's wrong, however you have set the benchmark by your behaviours in the past so if you didn't communicate your revised thinking prior to the day then that's a questionable aspect from you.

    Its a give and take, you want to ride all day and leave the little ones at home with your wife? Play the game then. :wink:

    Fair play. I think expectation played a large part in this.


    No shit Sherlock! :wink:
    “Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to cycle and he will realize fishing is stupid and boring”

    Desmond Tutu
  • Giraffoto
    Giraffoto Posts: 2,078
    A tour round any rack of Mother's Day cards will not find a single one that says anything like "To the mother of my children" or "To my Baby mamma". The day is for offspring to show appreciation for mothers, by making cards, drawing pictures, making bookmarks, and helping to make dinner.
    Specialized Roubaix Elite 2015
    XM-057 rigid 29er
  • joenobody
    joenobody Posts: 563
    Giraffoto wrote:
    A tour round any rack of Mother's Day cards will not find a single one that says anything like "To the mother of my children" or "To my Baby mamma".
    Although you will find "to my wife/girlfriend" so, unless you live in redneck territory, the apparent aim of the day (according to the card companies) is not only "for offspring to show appreciation for mothers" ;)
  • markhewitt1978
    markhewitt1978 Posts: 7,614
    I also have the issue that it's rare to find a car which says "Mammy".
  • RDW
    RDW Posts: 1,900
    Giraffoto wrote:
    A tour round any rack of Mother's Day cards will not find a single one that says anything like "To the mother of my children" or "To my Baby mamma". The day is for offspring to show appreciation for mothers, by making cards, drawing pictures, making bookmarks, and helping to make dinner.

    06648.jpg

    Just saying.
  • team47b
    team47b Posts: 6,425
    mpatts wrote:
    Personally, I'd arrange for a baby sitter, take her out for a meal, and discuss the mix up.

    Can't see how that you taking his missus out would help :D
    my isetta is a 300cc bike
  • Ballysmate wrote:
    No she doesn't have a point.
    Yes she is being unreasonable.

    This.

    Now all a smart man needs to do is apologise. :wink:
  • Frank the tank
    Frank the tank Posts: 6,553
    I do treat my wife (to a meal out) as my own mum has been dead for six years. I do make her know that that is the reason and it's up to our (now adult) children to decide what they're going to treat her to.

    The reality of it is the whole bloody thing is a rip off.
    Tail end Charlie

    The above post may contain traces of sarcasm or/and bullsh*t.
  • I really think you're wasting your time looking for advice on here, I'd suggest posting your question on Mumsnet and sending us the link.
  • verylonglegs
    verylonglegs Posts: 4,023
    I really think you're wasting your time looking for advice on here, I'd suggest posting your question on Mumsnet and sending us the link.

    There is probably already a post on mumsnet from someone saying her significant other is a total bastard as he used to give her gifts on mothers day but decided not to this year.
  • Giraffoto
    Giraffoto Posts: 2,078
    RDW wrote:

    06648.jpg

    When I moved into my first house the wallpaper in the hall was a very similar design to that.
    Specialized Roubaix Elite 2015
    XM-057 rigid 29er