Mother's Day recriminations

badgerbeaver

So yesterday was Mother's Day. This isn't an anti-Clinton cards rant or anything, but I wanted to gauge the opinion of my cycling brethren on the following.

My wife has produced two lovey children (6 & 5 years old) who in turn produced large volumes of cards and various arts and crafts stuff to celebrate mothers day. We planned a breakfast in bed as well.

When the children were to young for this, I have taken my wife out for dinner, and one year when #2 was about 2 years old, I gave her an eternity ring. This year I did not give her anything and she has got The Hump. Royally p155ed off with me. To be honest I was a bit shocked, and just apologised instinctively because she was upset, and felt she wouldn't feel any better if I was to explain that my primary reason for not giving her a present on Mother's Day was that She is Not My Mother.

Context / irony : at the time of said conflab she was wearing a top from Karen Millen which I bought for her as a surprise and out of the blue.

So. My question is this. On the strength of the sorry story above, does she have a point, or is she being unreasonable. Alternatively, am I being a total d1ck for even asking the question?

ballysmate

No she doesn't have a point.
Yes she is being unreasonable.

Doesn't matter, you are never going to win or even understand her twisted logic.

finchy

She's being unreasonable.

If I were you, I'd ask your wife if it's her time of the month. That's definitely the best way to handle this.

napoleond

johnfinch wrote:

Definitely unreasonable.

If I were you, I'd ask her if it's her time of the month. That's definitely the best way to handle this.

Lol

pdstsp

Does she have a point - no
Is she being unreasonable - yes
Are you a dick for asking - yes because she's meant to be unreasonable.

My wife's treat fro Mothers day was having my mad mother round for tea and having the same conversation with her every 20 seconds for 2 hours. She took it quite well.

verylonglegs

She is being unreasonable but good luck with trying to get her to see it that way.

Don't forget to have a proper tantrum when she fails to get you a Campagnolo Super Record groupset on Father's Day, nothing like the tit-for-tat approach to solve these issues.

me-109

My wife's treat was me getting up early and going out on the bike for five hours. When I got back she'd left to see her Mam and Dad (his birthday) so I had a lovely hot bath in peace.

Later, she cooked tea.

What's wrong with Mother's Day?

badgerbeaver

thanks guys

I feel bad. Wished I hadn't slapped her now.

mamba80

she is probably having a guilty affair and this was YOUR chance to show you are the better man, you failed and now will need a lawyer, that will cost many times more than a card and some flowers.

southdownswolf

If you were to stop wearing nappies at that "special time of day" and didn't keep asking for "Bitty" then she wouldn't expect a present.

bianchimoon

If your relationship happiness is based on what you do or don't buy her... oh dear!

nathancom

BadgerBeaver wrote:

thanks guys

I feel bad. Wished I hadn't slapped her now.

Are you serious?

badgerbeaver

nathancom wrote:

BadgerBeaver wrote:

thanks guys

I feel bad. Wished I hadn't slapped her now.

Are you serious?

NO!

nathancom

BadgerBeaver wrote:

nathancom wrote:

BadgerBeaver wrote:

thanks guys

I feel bad. Wished I hadn't slapped her now.

Are you serious?

NO!

Phew!

markhewitt1978

Yes I don't get it either, but, you have to go with it I guess.

Now to my mind, and I'm sure to others here, Mothers Day is all about the sons & daughters showing appreciation to their mother. Fathers can do this on their behalf when too young.

But; I think from her point of view it's general appreciation of her role as the Mother, so everyone has to get her a card and present. I think that's how it works anyway, all I know is that I'm seemingly constantly at the card shop, and I hate cards!

rc856

I was away on the lash with mates for the weekend and my missus was ok
If I had been home, I'd have been out the house at 8am for the club run.
Our wee one is nearly 6 and wife is still waiting for an eternity ring.

So yes, yours is being unreasonable

Lol @ time of month question

slowmart

So it seems there are a lot of single or divorced blokes on this thread. :roll:


Forget the commerciality of the day as that's wrong, however you have set the benchmark by your behaviours in the past so if you didn't communicate your revised thinking prior to the day then that's a questionable aspect from you.

Its a give and take, you want to ride all day and leave the little ones at home with your wife? Play the game then.

badgerbeaver

Slowmart wrote:

Forget the commerciality of the day as that's wrong, however you have set the benchmark by your behaviours in the past so if you didn't communicate your revised thinking prior to the day then that's a questionable aspect from you.

Its a give and take, you want to ride all day and leave the little ones at home with your wife? Play the game then.

Fair play. I think expectation played a large part in this.

mpatts

what I always hate about these hallmark events is that to get to normal level of happiness it needs to be somehow marked with a gift.

That said, I fear you have made a rod for your own back - you needed to have either of discussed it, got her something, or invented a time machine and not made a fuss in previous years.

Personally, I'd arrange for a baby sitter, take her out for a meal, and discuss the mix up.

markhewitt1978

mpatts wrote:

what I always hate about these hallmark events is that to get to normal level of happiness it needs to be somehow marked with a gift.

It does seem this time of year everything requires a gift and a card. Personally in the 4 months between Christmas and the end of April there are six family occasions which require me to buy my wife a gift and a card, it's difficult to be original.

slowmart

BadgerBeaver wrote:

Slowmart wrote:

Forget the commerciality of the day as that's wrong, however you have set the benchmark by your behaviours in the past so if you didn't communicate your revised thinking prior to the day then that's a questionable aspect from you.

Its a give and take, you want to ride all day and leave the little ones at home with your wife? Play the game then.

Fair play. I think expectation played a large part in this.

No shit Sherlock!

Giraffoto

A tour round any rack of Mother's Day cards will not find a single one that says anything like "To the mother of my children" or "To my Baby mamma". The day is for offspring to show appreciation for mothers, by making cards, drawing pictures, making bookmarks, and helping to make dinner.

joenobody

Giraffoto wrote:

A tour round any rack of Mother's Day cards will not find a single one that says anything like "To the mother of my children" or "To my Baby mamma".

Although you will find "to my wife/girlfriend" so, unless you live in redneck territory, the apparent aim of the day (according to the card companies) is not only "for offspring to show appreciation for mothers"

markhewitt1978

I also have the issue that it's rare to find a car which says "Mammy".

RDW

Giraffoto wrote:

A tour round any rack of Mother's Day cards will not find a single one that says anything like "To the mother of my children" or "To my Baby mamma". The day is for offspring to show appreciation for mothers, by making cards, drawing pictures, making bookmarks, and helping to make dinner.

Just saying.

team47b

mpatts wrote:

Personally, I'd arrange for a baby sitter, take her out for a meal, and discuss the mix up.

Can't see how that you taking his missus out would help

paultheparaglider

Ballysmate wrote:

No she doesn't have a point.
Yes she is being unreasonable.

This.

Now all a smart man needs to do is apologise.

Frank the tank

I do treat my wife (to a meal out) as my own mum has been dead for six years. I do make her know that that is the reason and it's up to our (now adult) children to decide what they're going to treat her to.

The reality of it is the whole bloody thing is a rip off.

arthur_scrimshaw

I really think you're wasting your time looking for advice on here, I'd suggest posting your question on Mumsnet and sending us the link.

verylonglegs

Arthur Scrimshaw wrote:

I really think you're wasting your time looking for advice on here, I'd suggest posting your question on Mumsnet and sending us the link.

There is probably already a post on mumsnet from someone saying her significant other is a total bastard as he used to give her gifts on mothers day but decided not to this year.

Giraffoto

RDW wrote:

When I moved into my first house the wallpaper in the hall was a very similar design to that.