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The shriveled wiener

1964johnr1964johnr Posts: 172
edited March 2014 in The bottom bracket
Why does it happen after every ride? I strip off to get in the shower and it's shrunk to a third of it's normal size. Anyone know the chemistry behind why?
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  • RingpeaceRingpeace Posts: 105
    Dunno - but going by username it's probably fair to assume you are 50.

    I'd hope to not be that bothered by then...

    My problem is it looks shrivelled either way - and the white bib shorts I am using definitely don't help.

    I nearly got entered in a women's event the other day!
  • homers_doublehomers_double Posts: 7,190
    Probably not shrivelled, just pushed inside. There was a tribe program on a while back and the guys hunted naked and tucked it inside to stop it bouncing about.

    /odd thread
    Advocate of disc brakes.
  • crescentcrescent Posts: 1,103
    Ringpeace wrote:

    I nearly got entered in a women's event the other day!

    Ouch!

    I think Billy Connolly covered this exact subject in one of his routines. Probably partly due to the cold but also down to the restricted blood supply due to sitting on a narrow saddle for long periods - essentially "your willy faints" were his exact words I believe.
    Ribble Gran Fondo
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    BMC Teammachine

    “When I see an adult on a bicycle, I do not despair for the future of the human race. “ ~H.G. Wells
    Edit - "Unless it's a BMX"
  • 1964johnr wrote:
    it's shrunk to a third of it's normal size.

    I wish this would happen to me. Mine is absolutely massive.
    "You really think you can burn off sugar with exercise?" downhill paul
  • tootsie323tootsie323 Posts: 199
    During exercise the body diverts blood flow to parts of the body that need it - your penis hardly needs a boost of oxygenated blood whilst you're cycling, running or taknig part in any other form of exercise.
    Apparently your testerone levels drop a little whilst you are exercising (I'll refrain from using the term 'working out' as this may be misinterpreted!), so not only are you left with what may resemble a wart amongst your pubis but it may be a little time before you are capable of getting an erection!
  • InitialisedInitialised Posts: 3,047
    Could be worse, this guy bust his balls and couldn't get it to go back down for two months!

    http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/ ... 15512.html
    I used to just ride my bike to work but now I find myself going out looking for bigger and bigger hills.
  • arran77arran77 Posts: 9,260
    You reckon it's bad after a bike ride, I used to do a lot of kayaking in the winter and it really did shrivel up then when you had to get changed by the car afterwards :shock:
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn
  • Wirral_paulWirral_paul Posts: 2,476
    tootsie323 wrote:
    During exercise the body diverts blood flow to parts of the body that need it - your penis hardly needs a boost of oxygenated blood whilst you're cycling

    So what if you're out for a training ride with Wiggle Team Honda??? Would it be the same then?? :mrgreen::mrgreen:

    Augustus_Farmer_WH09.jpg

    I'll get me coat! :D
  • tootsie323tootsie323 Posts: 199
    I do recall one stand-up comedian doing a number on cyclists who were using Viagra as a (cycling!) performance aid. Apparently they were easy to spot because they looked as if they had two crossbars...
  • dennisndennisn Posts: 10,584
    Maybe you're like me. My wife always tells people that mine "is not very big around, but it sure is short".
  • sigorman85sigorman85 Posts: 2,536
    Think it's to do with blood flow being used on the legs and other parts and dehydration runners get it to it's called pt d1ck in the army ie physical training d1ck lol
    When i die I just hope the wife doesn't sell my stuff for what I told her I paid for it other wise someone will be getting a mega deal!!!


    De rosa superking 888 di2
  • rafletcherrafletcher Posts: 1,235
    Ringpeace wrote:
    Dunno - but going by username it's probably fair to assume you are 50.

    I'd hope to not be that bothered by !

    We'll I'm 57 and my and I are still "bothered" by it ;-)
  • capt_slogcapt_slog Posts: 3,709
    rafletcher wrote:
    Ringpeace wrote:
    Dunno - but going by username it's probably fair to assume you are 50.

    I'd hope to not be that bothered by then!

    We'll I'm 57 and my and I are still "bothered" by it ;-)

    +1 (55 here.)

    He doesn't say what age he is, but he evidently thinks that 50 is "over the hill and past it". He's in for a pleasant surprise :lol:


    The older I get, the better I was.

  • neebneeb Posts: 4,445
    Don't complain, the extra blood that is diverted from it is probably worth an extra 2 watts. :wink:
  • clickrumbleclickrumble Posts: 304
    Mine shrivels slightly when cycling, I find this to be an advantage as I don't need to worry about which leg of my bib tights to tuck it down.
  • A warm shower and some vigorous soaping sorts it out.

    I always thought it was some natural "aero" instinct thing.

    Thank heavens for coolmax pads though, at least they disguise the fact somewhat. :D
    Trek,,,, too cool for school ,, apparently
  • rickeverettrickeverett Posts: 988
    Sports penis is common in all ages.

    Internet is your friend.....

    "It's a combination of blood flow to muscles and physical tension. Penis size fluctuates with the state of a muscle valve. When it's tensed up like with stress, or activity the blood flow to "Mr. Happy" is constricted. hence it shrinks. "

    "The flow of blood to the penis is controlled by a mechanism in the brain that relates to your level of sexual arousal. That is to say, if you're thinking of someone hot during that last mile of your run, you might start running a little more awkwardly... = )

    The other thing you've touched on well is that the energy you're expending is being directed to other tissues in your body. But ultimately, it's about your arousal rate. If you're wearing a cup or jock strap, that might be keeping the blood flow to a minimum as well.

    To finish your questions--If you're athletically active, you'll probably find that your erections are great otherwise. Having good heart health will help your penis expand to its max, once your mind is on pleasure, and not playing football. "
  • DKayDKay Posts: 1,652
    If you think it shrivels a lot during cycling, try going diving in a tight wetsuit in freezing cold water. It's like being 6 years old again.
  • neebneeb Posts: 4,445
    Cold on top of exertion definitely makes it worse. For the ultimate shrivelled experience try energetic winter hillwalking in a gale-force blizzard wearing a pair of ron hills. Just don't go as far as getting it frost-bitten...
  • tootsie323 wrote:
    During exercise the body diverts blood flow to parts of the body that need it - your penis hardly needs a boost of oxygenated blood whilst you're cycling

    So what if you're out for a training ride with Wiggle Team Honda??? Would it be the same then?? :mrgreen::mrgreen:

    Augustus_Farmer_WH09.jpg

    I'll get me coat! :D

    Oo-er!!!
    Giant Propel Advanced Pro 1 Disc 2020
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    Canyon Lux CF SL 7.0 2019
    Canyon Spectral CF 7.0 2019
    Canyon Speedmax CF 8.0 Di2 2020
    Wattbike Atom V2
    Garmin Edge 530
  • ballysmateballysmate Posts: 15,903
    I see Sean hasn't posted on this thread. I assume shriveling isn't a problem for him at the moment. :wink:
  • pinnopinno Posts: 45,357
    ...methinks this thread was somewhere else before it was bumped into BB, judging by the protagonists.

    Just wait till 'Belinda' goes pop Bally, then we'll hear about shrinkage and broken hearts etc etc.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • Just be careful how much the old chap gets a massage.

    When I was explaining this to the judge, he was not very sympthetic. I did think five years on the sex offenders register was a bit harsh. Judges, eh?
    Ecrasez l’infame
  • seanoconnseanoconn Posts: 9,141
    Ballysmate wrote:
    I see Sean hasn't posted on this thread. I assume shriveling isn't a problem for him at the moment. :wink:
    I'm being kept in a cosy warm place most of the time so no shrinkage :D Thanks for thinking of me :D
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי
  • navrig2navrig2 Posts: 1,704
    It's not just me then.

    I am strill trying to work out what was worse.

    The wife's reaction to seeing me in bib shorts for the first time or the wife's reaction to me taking my bib shorts off after a particularly cold ride.

    Neither were particularly enjoyable!
  • arran77arran77 Posts: 9,260
    seanoconn wrote:
    Ballysmate wrote:
    I see Sean hasn't posted on this thread. I assume shriveling isn't a problem for him at the moment. :wink:
    I'm being kept in a cosy warm place most of the time so no shrinkage :D Thanks for thinking of me :D

    You've been using that doll of yours in front of the fire :shock: be careful it doesn't melt on you :)
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn
  • seanoconnseanoconn Posts: 9,141
    arran77 wrote:
    seanoconn wrote:
    Ballysmate wrote:
    I see Sean hasn't posted on this thread. I assume shriveling isn't a problem for him at the moment. :wink:
    I'm being kept in a cosy warm place most of the time so no shrinkage :D Thanks for thinking of me :D

    You've been using that doll of yours in front of the fire :shock: be careful it doesn't melt on you :)
    Oh she melts when I'm near her don't worry :wink: :P
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי
  • arran77arran77 Posts: 9,260
    seanoconn wrote:
    arran77 wrote:
    seanoconn wrote:
    Ballysmate wrote:
    I see Sean hasn't posted on this thread. I assume shriveling isn't a problem for him at the moment. :wink:
    I'm being kept in a cosy warm place most of the time so no shrinkage :D Thanks for thinking of me :D

    You've been using that doll of yours in front of the fire :shock: be careful it doesn't melt on you :)
    Oh she melts when I'm near her don't worry :wink: :P

    vomiting.gif
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn
  • pinnopinno Posts: 45,357
    ^^^ :D
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • Stevo_666Stevo_666 Posts: 49,370
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
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